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You know how President Obama is visiting the UK right now? I’m sure you know. There are lots of pictures about it everywhere. And something about his limo getting stuck. And writing the wrong year in a guest book. And now a different thing? Basically it’s like Meet the Parents meets The Queen. “I’ve got nipples, President Obama, can you milk The Queen of England?” – The Queen of England. Gross!
Last night at some kind of event (?) at Buckingham Palace, President Obama committed a major y’oops by speaking over the national anthem while he was toasting the Queen. And touched his glass before her or something? I don’t know. “YOU’RE KIDDING ME.” I’m not! The extent of my knowledge of what you can and cannot do in front of royalty comes pretty much exclusively from the Blair-marrying-a-prince plotline on the most recent season of Gossip Girl. And even then I wasn’t paying attention. You can’t look at the Royal Family below the waist? You can’t touch your hair until the Queen touches her arm? You have to walk backwards at the youngest male child in the Royal Family until you get three paces away and then you turn around with your scariest face, and if you scare him successfully you get to ask him a question? I have no idea, but it all sounds VERY complicated. In any case, here it is:
I can’t believe he did that? That thing? That he did wrong? How could he! (via Dlisted)
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I heard he keeps going around talking about “trucks” and “cookies”, too.
One
Big
Ass
Mistake
America
I saw that on a pick-up truck once. I also once saw a different pick up truck that said “Illegal Immigration will destroy this country look what it did to the white house”
MERICA!
That’s true, though. This country was founded by a group of people who were very firmly against illegal immigration. They were called pilgrims.
aw yeah you just BURNED those conserva-nazis and their pro-pilgrim stance, “facetaco”. speak brother
You used “those” quotations inco”rrectl”y.
This guy knows what you’re talking about:
Don’t you think it’s a little “SUSPICIOUS” that 2012 falls exactly 200 years after the War of 1812? Obama’s botched toast might just be the powder keg.
Coming up later on ConspiracyGum:
Teen Konspiracy Korner: “Videogum” is an Anagram for “Dug Movie”
BNPG: List All The Communists You Know
You Can Make It Up- Truth Edition: Osama Bin Laden Reincarnated As Peter Sarsgaard Like in That Movie “The Skeleton Key”
This whole time I thought he was Dennis Quaid it turns out he’s Randy Quaid
Did you know that the British version of Goofus & Gallant is over 1100 pages long?
They have a different name for it over there, though:
are those two little kids about to kiss?
Wait until they bring out the dessert course. I hear it’s Spotted Dick.
It’s called Spotted Richard now, for realsies.
Something something Common something something Buckingham Palace.
I told him to read my book:
Oh I thought this was for capturing the heart of a flamboyant gay man, did not see the
Well at least we know one person in America who read your book,
To be fair, she was asking for it.
“Wait till they get a load of me.” – The Joker, 1989
“Its not about if you fall down… its about how you get back up.”
-some drag queen somewhere
If he keeps this up, David Cameron is going to have to make a big speech in front of President Obama about David Beckham’s feet that undermines Anglo-American relations all because David Cameron wants to impress a girl.
You’re doing that wrong, England.
What the F was up with that muscial cue anyway? Obama was like, “Hey, I’m going to Vin DIesel the Queen now, everybody! Here I go.” He starts giving his Vin DIesel, then they start playing music overtop of him that he’s not allowed to speak over? How does that work?
Despite your failure with “fetch,” I think you’re on your way to making “Vin Diesel” happen.
Definitely the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to a president at a foreign dinner
Send him to gaol in the boot of a bobby’s lorry or sum’it like that
AND ANOTHER THING- Why is it whenever something really lampoon-worthy happens, rife with comedic opportunity, the fucking DAILY SHOW and COLBERT are always on a goddamned break?! They love making fun of the British! John Oliver would be destroying right now!
So true. This is why I tell them not to leave the prison I lock them in every night. Why do they keep leaving? I put so much cool stuff in there.
(Capsulekei, on her way to referencing all her favourite things in this post.)
You’ve already referenced all of mine.
Honestly, as betrayed as all those people feel who didn’t get Raptured after they quit their jobs and killed their pets and stuff – I feel 13 times that betrayed that Stewart and Colbert took a vacay the week after May 21.
Bad form, guys.
So I’m guessing this whole trip is just one big game of “Asshole”. I wonder who the Thumbmaster is.
Ireland’s not in the UK.
Your mom’s not in the UK.
Or is she? I honestly have no idea.
Didn’t Obama get yelled at for bowing to some other monarch awhile back? By that logic he should be getting praised for not caring about irrelevant and archaic shit like this, right?
Yeah, but that other monarch was a MUSLIM!
I wish he woulda gave the Frank Drebin press conference speech instead.
They should have known he would have done something like this. They were the ones that code named him Smart Aleck
Say what you will but have you ever seen the Queen land a 3-pointer?
Case rested.
It isn’t the year 700B? Someone set the hot tub time machine wrong again!
Ummm…isn’t it the band’s faux pas for beginning to play before the foreign dignitary finished his toast?