Photos
So, Vin Diesel has been in the news a lot lately. (Hahaha, I will be here ALL WEEK, ladies and germs, and I will also be here some more after that!) First he was in Fast Five Fast Furious, which I still haven’t seen because I’m waiting for it to come out on Criterion just kidding. Today he is back in the news talking about, like, an R-rated Chronicles of Riddick movie he wants to make on a low budget? On Facebook or something? Perfect. It’s called giving the people what they want. “More Riddick movies!” are what all the signs say outside of City Hall, you know, where the protests are? All of this, of course, raises the question:
Is Vin Diesel a slice of toast?
I’m not saying that he is! I’m just here to ask the tough questions. DON’T SHOOT THE ASKER. But think about it, you guys: if you squished up a slice of toast into a big wad and stuffed it into a tank top and made it grind a rail on a metal cafeteria tray (where do they have metal cafeteria trays, by the way? Like what cafeteria do you know? Lunchtime!) it would have about the same charisma and appeal as Vin Diesel. I’m not sure who likes Vin Diesel, but everybody likes toast! Maybe people are just responding to his TOASTNESS and that is what is getting him movies? Food for thought. AHHAHAHAHAH. (Is it Friday?)
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
He is the delectable shade of golden brown I associate with great toast-eating experiences…
I’d like to spread and butter that toast!
no, i don’t know what i am saying either.
No, slices of toast can act
Something something ya burnt something piece of toast. Presented with no punchline.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a pool he doesn’t get wet; the pool gets Vin.
(I’ll show myself out.)
It is worth noting that the infamous Chuck Norris meme started out as the Vin Diesel meme, right? That’s something!
I was trying to think of a comment to write and it suddenly occurred to me that, scientifically speaking, it is plausible that there is some sort of alternative universe wherein Alternative Gabe is asking if a slice of toast is Vin Diesel. It’s not a really a funny comment, it’s just true.
Or maybe in this alternate universe Vin Diesel wants to know if Gabe is a slice of toast
In that alternate universe, Ian’s comment up there would be “no, Vin Diesel can act.” I think that disproves your theory.
On a related note, has anyone heard of the theory that there is only one electron in the universe, but it keeps traveling back and forth in time to become all the electrons? I just read that somewhere, and it’s making my head hurt.
“………………..No.” – Stevebert Hawkstein.
It seems like someone, I’m not saying who, is forgetting that Pitch Black was fricking awesome.
Vin Diesel is a loud and proud Dungeons and Dragons player, and for that, he is My Boyfriend.
I feel like Vin and Paul furiously make out right after this, am I right?
Only in my dreams… *dreamy sigh*
This is my nightmare.
He must be a slice of toast, since in every movie he finds himself in some kind of jam.
Can we have a caption contest for that Vin Diesel pic? He looks like he’s moments away from a sneeze.
“Alright Vin, let’s break out those +4 Charisma sexy eyes… Oh yeah. There it is…”
If Vin Diesel was a Pop-Tart we’d be dead right now.
How is it possible that nobody has written a biography about him called “The Chronicles of Redic”???
I did like him in Saving Private Rye-an.
BNPG Bread Movies?
Sourdough The Right Thing
Little Pumpernicky
Ciabattle Rocket
In The Mood For Loaf
Spreadator
Grape Jam
I Hope They Preserves Beer in Hell (oof)
I think he was combining Vin Diesel movies + Bread references.
Fast Five Grain Wheat
Pitch Black Rye
Broiled Bread Room
xXx-tra Fiber
I made $10 selling my Chronicles of Riddick DVD on eBay, then I used that $10 to buy it on Blu-Ray.
He is like toast in that I would cover him in jelly and shove him into my face.
Aren’t regional dialects interesting? Being from California (I know, it’s kind of a big deal), I would have referred to Vin Diesel as a “piece” of toast, not a “slice.”
And people from Oregon would have probably referred to him as Vehicle Identification Number Petroleum-Based Fuel
Here in the Midwest, my friends and I all agree that Vin Diesel is one hot slice of ass.
If he is a slice of toast, then Vin should forget Riddick and instead start pushing for a live-action Powdered Toast Man film.
Powdered toast? Isn’t that bread crumbs?
Please tell me you know who Powdered Toast Man is and you aren’t quoting something about Powdered Toast Man from the Ren & Stimpy Show that I’m not getting.
Correction: “Please tell me you know who Powdered Toast Man is and you’re JUST quoting something about Powdered Toast Man from the Ren & Stimpy Show that I’m not getting.”
in his most challenging role ever…
Vin Diesel is… [dramatic pause for toaster explosion] HY RYE!
Coming Summer 2012
BREAKFAST HAS A NEW FACE!
(movie tagline is still up for review)
toast has more taste.
“EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT’S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng” — Something Awful dot com forums poster “graeyalien”
Oh my goodness. http://www.teacherneedhelp.com/chapters/daughter.htm
Okay wrong thread. I’ll show myself out.
I just have to say that this story that you’ve accidentally linked here, “Impossible Daughter-In-Law”, was one of the most depressing things I’ve ever read.
Peter Frampton, do you like Vin Diesel too?