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Mark Burnett, best known for his work producing shows like Survivor and Sarah Palin’s Alaska (and for making riveting cameos that the people want in The Paul Reiser Show) is now turning his sights on From the Hollywood Reporter:
The project, which comes from reality producer Mark Burnett, will air as a five-part, 10-hour scripted docu-drama with live-action and state-of-the-art CGI.
The series, which was conceived by Burnett and his wife, actress Roma Downey, will set out to tell the tome’s stories, including Noah’s Ark, the Exodus and the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus.
Sure! The Bible is a very popular book, you guys. Like, Harry Potter and the Spooky Swamp-caliber popular. It makes sense that someone would want to make a show about it. And, OK, so that person is Mark Burnett. Why not? It’s his job to make shows, and he certainly seems to be all over the map. But, hey, here’s a quick favor: how about you don’t call the show a “docu-drama”? For one thing, I have no idea what that means, but it sounds problematic! Any project that proposes to have a CGI-rendition of Noah’s Ark and also includes the word “docu(mentary)” and also is going to be shown on THE HISTORY CHANNEL raises a few red flags. Like, all of the red flags. Somebody better go to the Red Flag Store and buy some more because all of ours are raised.
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“The Bible’s spoken” -Jeff Probst, snuffing out the torch of some Bible villain at the end of each episode I hope
“You’re Pyred!” – Donald Trump, ominously
“And now Psalm 25, brought to you by DORITOS®. Remember, the only thing hotter than the gates of Hell are the flamin’ flavor of DORITOS® 3RD DEGREE BURN™ Scorchin’ Habanero Flavored Tortilla Chips.”
By the way, guys, if your eyes did something terrible today and you are looking for a way to punish them, I can think of no better method than the pluperfect hell that is http://www.doritos.com
“You’re no longer in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Messiah” -Tyra Banks
“They threw me under the ark!” – a single zebra ganged upon by smug couples of animals.
“I’m not here to make disciples”
“They said I was too fat to fit in the ark !” -Kevin Smith as a dinosaur
What?? This isn’t the Temptation Island I was expecting!
I’m excited for the Leviticus episode, guys. Win the “lying with a man as one does with a woman” challenge to get a shrimp cocktail!
Since Roma Downey is involved, I can only assume that she will be playing all the angels.
This Bible thing is right up Mark Burnett’s alley. Right from the start, it’s wall to wall alliances, backstabbing, and betrayal. Cain is like the original Richard Hatch.
I can’t wait for the Asylum Mockbuster of this.
I like how “copying down everything from one-of-the-most-popular-books-ever-printed” and “conceived” are pretty much the same thing in show business.
Mark Burnett: The Bible sells pretty well.
Roma Downey: Should we make it into a documentary?
Mark Burnett: I’m thinking docu-drama.
Roma Downey: Okay. Let me go get my GREENLIT stickers.
At least it’s state of the art CGI, none of that crappy CGI you find on the black market
Oh Jesthuth! Jethuth Chritht!
shoves Mark Burnett up his own ass
real housewives of jerusalem lol
There was already something like this it was called Evan Almighty and it was the best movie ever made and everyone saw it in theaters and it changed the face of the world.
Tony Danza was robbed:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah_(film)
because its the bible, this will be the least believable show on the History Channel, right behind MonsterQuest.
no rapture-o
Surprisingly, these same red flags were raised during the recent airing of Stephen Hawking’s ‘documentary’ based on ALIENS.
I really thought that documentaries were not viable if most of their words consisted of ‘if’, ‘perhaps’, ‘maybe’, ‘suspect’, ‘could’ and, ‘possibly’… since when did falsification become the main element of BOTH science and religion? *eyeroll*
When an entire News network picked up the ball and ran with it.
It’s not like History Channel has a lot of evidence for their “NAZI UFO” shows. All the ghost hunter shows are based on the premise that ghosts are real (SPOILER: they aren’t)
Also, you forgot to mention this gem:
It’s like Reign of Fire, but made entirely of the plot holes, and without as action.
I made an error in the above comment, but since this page is a day old, no one is going to notice!
Looking forward to seeing clips of this on Everything is Terrible in 20 years.
I didn’t know Mark Burnett married Roma Downey.
It was Roma Downey who taught me to hate Jay Leno. She was on his show and said something funny, and Leno laughed — and then turned to the camera and explained the joke. In case some people out there didn’t get it. That was 1995 or 96 and I never watched Leno again. So, Roma Downey is a minor but crucial and inspiring player in my life history, like my own personal Nathan Hale if I were America.
“Apostles ready!”