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“We envision it as Lord of The Rings, but set in a world of candy.” – Candyland: The Movie Screenwriters
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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
YOU HAVE MY BARF!
AND MY DIABEETUS! (Lord Gingerbread will be played by Wilford Brimley).
…and my snark!
One Wint-O Green Lifesaver to rule them all, One Wild Cherry Lifesaver to find them,
One Butter Rum Life saver to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
“We envision it as ‘Yogi Bear’, except with Smurfs.” – Screenwriters of “The Smurfs”
“We envision it like Monopoly, except Steve Buscemi gets a hummer in the opening episode.” — The writers of Boardwalk Empire
“We envision it as ‘The Hangover’, except, yeah it’s basically just ‘The Hangover’ again.” – The guys who ran the xerox machine for the “Hangover 2″ script, I’m guessing
“We envision it as a Black Eyed Peas song with animals, also it’s a TGI Friday’s commercial”- Screenwriters of “The Zookeeper”
You guys have to read the books first. JRR Toblerone is a genius.
One does not simply stroll into the Gumdrop Forest!
Hobbit-O-Honey
Gollum-nom-nom
Well sure, if you leave that much candy sitting out it’s eventually going to attract ents.
Once again, the internet is all over it.
The choice of Cate Blanchett as Queen Frostine is inspired. #jokesirecycledfromfacebookpresentedinsightgagsiborrowedfromtwitter
+12! REALLY? THE RETURN OF THE GUMDROP KING? Sometimes, you guys. I swear.
It began with the forging of the Great Ring Pops. Three were given to the Gingerbread people; immortal, wisest and most delicious of all beings. Seven, to Mr. Mint, great baker of the mountain halls. And nine, nine ring pops were gifted to the race of Kids, who above all else desire sweets. For within these ring pops was bound the strength and the will to govern over each race’s sugary cravings. But they were all of them deceived, for a new ring pop was made. In the land of Candy, in the fires of Gumdrop Mountain, the Dark Lord Licorice forged in secret, a master ring pop, more delicious than all others. And into this confection he poured all his cruelty, his malice, his sugar, his artificial strawberry flavoring, and his will to dominate all life. One candy to rule them all. One by one, the free peoples of Candy Land fell to the power of the Ring Pop. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of gingerbread men and frosting people marched against the armies of Molasses, and on the very slopes of Gumdrop Mountain, they fought for the freedom of Candy Land. Victory was near, but the power of the ring pop could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Princess Lolly, daughter of the king, took up her father’s cards. And Lord Licorice, enemy of the free peoples of Candy Land, was defeated. The Ring Pop passed to Princess Lolly, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of candy women are easily corrupted. And the ring pop of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Princess Lolly, to her death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring pop passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, the ring pop ensnared another bearer. The ring came to the creature Plumpy, who took it deep into the tunnels under the Candy Cane Forest, and there it consumed him. The ring pop gave to Plumpy unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind; and in the gloom of Plumpy’s cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless, delicious, fear, and the Ring Pop of Power perceived. Its time had now come. It abandoned Plumpy. But then something happened that the Ring pop did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A child, Jolly. For the time will soon come when gingerbread will shape the fortunes of all…
Hey Garth, a nerd upvotes what?
I’m just going to assume this deserves an upvote. some of us have work to be pretending to to!
Don’t worry, guys. I’ll handle this.
Now do the entire Similarion!
It’s beautiful.
Too soon.
I wonder if there will be Candyland fans who protest the changes from game to film. WHERE WAS CANDY CANE LANE? THEY JUST WENT STRAIGHT TO GUMDROP MOUNTAIN… BLASPHEMY.
the role of The Eye of Sauron will be played by Gumdrop Mountain.
(Thanks for putting Photoshop on my computer for some reason, Work. You won’t regret this.)
Hey, no fair! They stole my dream wedding idea.
I mean I’m 99% sure that every movie could be improved upon by setting it in a world of candy, they are definitely on to something here.