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The Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time has been on hiatus for a month and a half, and there was a moment there where I thought perhaps the hiatus was permanent. Perhaps, I thought for a few of those weeks, our work here is done. We have chased more than a thousand movies (I’m sure that number is accurate) through these proverbial nightmare woods, and we’ve slain some of the most awful beasts. Especially with the last entry, Garden State, it seemed as if we had plumbed the awful depths and we had struck the silty, stinky bottom. Enough, I thought. What else? Sleep, I thought. Let us sleep.
And then something happened.
This past weekend, I saw the movie Somewhere, written and directed by Sofia Coppola. HOLY MOLY IS THAT A TERRIBLE MOVIE! One of the worst of all time. I have a lot to say about it, and I’m going to. Later. But in watching that self-indulgent episode of Entourage, I realized with sadness that our work was hardly finished. There was still plenty left to do. And so: THE HUNT CONTINUES! Nominate your movies here. Next week we will announce the latest round, starting with Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere. When considering whether or not to nominate a movie for the Hunt, please review the Official Rules:
- It cannot be intentionally horrible.
- It must have at least one A- or B-list movie star in it. (No “outsider art.”)
- It cannot be Glitter. (Or Crossroads.)
- It has to have had a theatrical release.
- It must be available on Netflix.
- No matter how bad the movie, it cannot be based on a popular superhero.
- No musicals.
- No Robin Williams movies (Note: In a lead role. Supporting roles will be considered on a case by case basis)
- Only one Nicolas Cage movie per “round.”
- No children’s movies.
- Gabe is the boss.
Sigh. It is like we have taken the black. Game of Thrones reference. Would that a White Walker would chop my fucking head off. Enough complaining. Neck crack. OK. SOUND THE HORNS, THE HUNT BEGINS ANEW!
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So. There’s this movie I’ve seen called London. It stars Jessica Biel, Chris Evans, and Jason Statham. It is a romantic com– dra– movie. Oh, and Dane Cook (in a supporting role).
Taglines: “One man’s incredible journey of self-discovery” and “A film about love and her victims.” Ick.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
THANK YOU! I am so confused about the people who love it. Worst movie of all time? Probably not. Enjoyable at all? Not a bit.
I’m a day late to the party but I would love to see Titanic and Avatar(d) up in the WMOAT. Two movies that make me so infuriated to be pursuing a career in performance. Doubt either will make it up this round but I guess I’ll have to try again next time.
Also, can we nominate Godard’s recent yikes-terpiece, “Film: Socialisme”? Because that movie was actually eye-torture to sit through.
awful.
I can’t remember who usually nominates it, but I would like to put Sex and the City 2 in the running for the worst movie of all time.
There is this movie called “Don Juan de Marco”, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, starring Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando. It is terrible. But on the second page of comments, no one will ever know. Still, look at this:
I wish there were a Monsters’ Ball prize for always posting way late. Anyway, I nominate The Guardian, starring Kutcher and Costner.
I’ve nominated it before, and I’ll nominate it again: BIRTH (Nicole Kidman, 2004). It obeys the rules! It’s awful! I only watched it once, 3 years ago, and I’m still pissed!
I’ve gone through and upvoted a bunch of nominations:
The Fast and the Furious
How Do You Know?
Life as a House
Meet the Parents
and others
but none of them are as bad as:
my general rule is, if the trailers are bad, then there’s no need to watch the movie; unfortunately, few of the people I know subscribe to that hypothesis and that’s how I end up seeing shit like this.
Also, now that the poster has reminded me; Pretty Woman. I cannot be the only woman on Earth that hates that movie. Right?
Gentlemen Broncos- Absolutely devoid of laughs!
Good Luck Chuck. Horrifically misogynist and horrifically Dane-Cook-starring.
I nominate Sex Drive
[IMG]http://media.filmschoolrejects.com/images/sexdrive-poster1.jpg[/IMG]
Clark Duke is an A-Lister, right?
image fail
“The Shape of Things” It’s not a question of doing this for the “hunt” but rather an almost scientifically established fact that this is the worst movie of all time. From its misguided sense of purpose, stilted acting, abhorrent moral understanding, to the presence of a dopey Paul Rudd to take the wtf-factor up an f. If you haven’t seen it, you shouldn’t.
Have we really gotten this far into the Hunt without Natural Born Killers?
Alone in the Dark.
Love and Other Drugs. I don’t care how cute Jake Gyllenhaal is, this movie is irredeemable.
How Do You Know? I loved Broadcast News and As Good as it Gets, but James Brooks proves he is contentedly settled into making garbage with this miserable film.
synecdoche new york is worst of all
FUCKING MARIE ANTOINETTE.
FACTORY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I nominate the most pretentious science fiction movie since the invention of science: SUNSHINE by Danny Boyle. There is so much talking and so much ridiculous.
This is in addition to my nominees NELL, the RED PLANET / MISSION TO MARS double feature, DROP DEAD FRED, and the poke in the eye that is COOL WORLD.
And you guys, seriously, I know bad movies. I know them cold. I recommended Nothing But Trouble and Gabe went on to rank that firmly in the top 5 worst ever (probably the most validating achievement of my life and a badge of honor that I wear everyplace I go).
Why not Glitter? Is it because it’s so bad that it’s not fun to talk about?
“The Shape of Things” It’s not a question of doing this for the “hunt” but rather an almost scientifically established fact that this is the worst movie of all time. From its misguided sense of purpose, stilted acting, abhorrent moral understanding, to the presence of a dopey Paul Rudd to take the wtf-factor up an f. If you haven’t seen it, you shouldn’t.
This has been a hard day of commenting.
I became a commenter just to nominate The Wedding Planner.
You know what was kinda bad? the movie Red.
also
Red Riding Hood
Skyline
The Box starring Cameron Diaz and James Marsden.
The worst movie I’ve seen since Dreamcatcher. Cameron Diaz tries to be dramatic and that isn’t even the worst part of the movie! It’s completely mind-boggling and not in an “I’m too dumb to understand complex ideas” kind of way. It’s also half an hour too long (it’s really about 2 and a half hours too long). Most importantly, my mom likes almost every shitty psychological thriller and she hated it. I rest my case.
Only You. Worst rom-com of all time. If the line “I was born to kiss you!” doesn’t convince you, the jumping off point for the entire plot is that Marisa Tomei’s character thinks that a Ouija board knows the name of her soul mate.
Code 46. I almost feel bad asking anybody to watch this movie though, because I wouldn’t wish the sight of Tim Robbins raping a clone of his mother while she says “I love you” over and over on my worst enemy!
The moment it is available on Netflix, I am nominating Thor. What an awful, hilarious, awful movie.
The Shadow with Alec Baldwin. OUCH!
The Shadow may fall under the popular superhero banner, even though he is a pulp hero.
If the Shadow is eligible then The Phantom should be eligible too. They’re both pulp heroes from the 30′s.
Ah, I think you’re probably right. But still WOOF! That movie was awful!
Bob Roberts must be exposed as the drivel it is…
Reality Bites.
I have nothing pithy to say to add to my vote, but this bafflingly loved movie needs to be taken out back and shot.
So a long time ago (maybe not that long ago? I’m not going to check) the was a videogum wmoat thread and someone suggested GONE WITH THE WIND, and I continue to think that this is a really good nomination. I think that people of OUR GENERATION (yo yo yo, my pokémons!) have this vague sense that GWTW is a Great Film, recognize its iconic images and famous quotations, and laugh when a reference to Scarlett O’Hara is the punchline to a comedy skit… but have never actual been told that all that “common knowledge” completely obscures the real point of the the entire film, which is to: (1) make people think that slavery wasn’t that bad, (2) present white southerners as the real victims of the civil war, (3) present the Ku Klux Klan in a positive light (YES, REALLY), (4) black people are dumb, (5) women are dumb, I COULD GO ON. I would make for a great bloggity blog post!
I very much enjoy watching terrible movies. While searching through Netflix this weekend, I happened across Reality Bites and I found it to be everything an awful movie should be. This film is a time capsule from 1994 starring Winona Ryder as the ideal GenX-er. She has to decide between her truly offensive, artsy intellectual (and homeless) boy crush, and a very nerdy Ben Stiller who plays a lawyer with a humongous cell phone – obviously a plus. This move is both laughable and deadly serious. It would make a fantastic Worst Movie of All Time.
UP
Lion King
Wall*E
Godfather 2
Taxi Driver
Godfather 2? Why that one specifically? You make me sad.
I nominate THE WARRIORS WAY. It’s eligible! It was given a major release in theaters, and is a film so astonishingly bad that it will leave you stunned. Did you think SUCKER PUNCH was bad? Well clearly you haven’t seen this.
Imagine a movie where the facial expressions are so weird throughout that you expect this to be a feature length .gif file. The acting is truly horrendous; and it even has Geoffrey Rush as an alcoholic, Kate Bosworth with a southern accent, and Tony Cox.
Imagine a movie where the actors stand in front of poorly rendered videogame cutscenes disguised as film sets for 100 straight minutes. This is a movie that must be EXPERIENCED!!!!
GET WITH ME GUYS!!!! VOTE!!!!!
You mad. That was supposed to be a fun movie, you obviously took it too serious. Didn’t the dangling baby cue you into the fact that it was a lighthearted movie? Or the midget named Eightball? I’ll give you it was 15 minutes too long, but it was a fun little movie. Graham Elwood even brings it up from time to time on Comedy FIlm Nerds on the subject of small movies that are well done.
Now Sucker Punch, that’s an entirely different story. But I hear that the extended cut features musical routines and a sex scene between Babydoll and John Hamm, so I’m waiting to nominate that when that cut is out.
Just logging in to offer the opinion that “Somewhere” breaks the first two rules and should not be eligible.
Must Love Dogs: #428 in the comment thread, #1 in your hearts (if your hearts are the worst).
I guess I’ll have to wait it out until The Perks of Being a Wallflower is available on Netflix.
While i already nominated Antichrist, i’ll also nominate Predators. It was a terrible film, with the only redeeming parts being some nice decapitations. And Adrien Brody is not an action hero, sorry, just no way. Also listening to his christian bale batman gruff voice for 2 hours was fucking unbearable. SPEAKING LIKE THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU TOUGH ADRIEN BRODY!
But it does have nice decapitations, which I feel we need to have more of.
Though it is one of my favorite movies ever, I nominate Lost in Translation by Sofia Coppola, because I know a lot of my friends absolutely hated it.
Oh. My. GOD. I desperately need you to WMOAT the following:
Wet Hot American Summer.
A lying FORMER FRIEND tricked me into watching it and it is the most painfully unfunny, disjointed, insulting, disgusting waste of time I’ve ever suffered through. I would rather watch Paul Blart Mall Cop because at least it has a storyline and it does NOT criminally misuse and abuse its talented cast.
Seriously. Look, some people might argue that Wet Hot American Summer is a spoof movie and therefore supposed to be bad, but that’s not necessarily true. It’s a ridiculous mistake and it thinks you will be rolling in the aisles laughing at the jokes. It takes its comedy seriously for chrissake. A wise man once said that the mere act of creating art begs for the criticism of an audience. BE THE AUDIENCE WITH ME. I do not like to suffer alone and I can’t find enough other outraged viewers on the internet to soothe my hatred of Wet Hot American Summer and what it did to 2 hours of my precious life. It came out too long ago! No one is currently hating it online with me! Please oh please oh please….watch it and tell me I am not alone.
You’re alone.
You are so very alone. That movie is a precious little comed jewel. Seriously. Maybe you’re not familiar enough with the films that it is spoofing?
Vanilla Shit (Sky). Holy hell that movie was awful. I couldn’t do enough to not watch that movie when my boyfriend and I saw it in the theater. Literally. I blew my boyfriend, twice, napped three times, went to the concession stand I don’t even know how many times, and still managed to see about 70% of that snore fest. That is what I imagine torture to be like.
If I knew how to put a picture here like the cool kids, this is where it would be.
Star Wars Episode IV because it replaced acting with special effects and turned every subsequent summer blockbuster into an SFX crapfest.
THE GOOD SHEPHERD! One of the only movies I’ve ever walked out on. Soooo awful!
Slumdog Millionaire. I’m sorry but I really, really hate this movie. I tried re-watching it recently and I hate it just as much — I swear to god the kid who plays the lead is related to Freddie Prinze, Jr. because their acting technique is the same — gap-mouthed horror/surprise/concern.
Where the heart is – So awful that it kind of ruined Natalie Portman for me.
Van Helsing – man, this film was so bland. And by “bland” I mean “bad”.
The Postman
Mr. Holland’s Opus
The Bounty Hunter
The Adjustment Bureau.I didn’t like it for the following reasons.
1) A total lack of cool dogs
2)Waste of Terrence Stamp’s menacing presence in a role that appears to have been made up on the spot
3)The fact that the film keeps changing the internal logic guiding things throughout to keep things moving,meaning there’s plot holes so big I half expected Godzilla to show up at some stage.
4)It’s atrociously miscast
5)The script appears to have been written on the back of a fag packet the night beforehand,as evidenced by someone confusing fancying someone you sat next to on a bus with being in love.
Ok, seriously, “All About Steve” is an unmitigated disaster. Painful to watch, meets all criteria. Ended the writer’s career. (As you watch it, you will become more and more shocked that it was written by a woman and not a vulgar male) Put it on the list without watching if you must. http://movies.netflix.com/Movie/All-About-Steve/70108015
Any film starring 50 Cent. But probably this one:
Interstate 60
The killers. I just finished watching it and it was TERRIBLE.
Book of Eli.
THE BOOK OF FUCKING ELI.
You guys, Tropic Thunder.
Okay I’m totally on board for the “pretentious” movie argument, and I completely agree with ‘Cop Out’ sucking lemons. I’m not sure if I was sick with fever or what, but I liked at least parts of ‘The Invention of Lying.’ Maybe I just love Gervais enough to stick with him no matter what (probably, but it still could’ve been a fever).
Anyway I was reading this and then found this, which I thought was interesting – why we dislike the movies we dislike (okay flat out HATE)….and then kind of an attempt to break it down into subcategories? Discuss if you will.
http://blog.ranker.com/post/8394190864/from-ranker-labs-a-deeper-look-at-the-worst-movies
Chiming in as well on ‘The Royal Tenenbaums’ – ages well (to me, but I absolutely LOVED this from the beginning, passionately).