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Why, hello there, my good people!
Some of you know me as Godsauce, and others know me as Fokes. Many of you probably don’t know me at all, but we can forge a fresh relationship on the promise of a new day! Today is that day!
In the spirit of new beginnings, let me tell you a bit about myself. I was born in Atlanta, GA in 1978 and haven’t strayed* too far geographically in the intervening years. I have a bachelor’s degree in film production that I have never put to good use. On Monday, I finished taking final exams for a post-baccalaureate program at a women’s college, despite having both the X and the Y chromosome (Not trying to use Gabe jokes, but… LADIES!?). My next goal is to get into medical school. From there I hope to become a pediatrician**.
Although my exam/guest blogging schedule has caused delays this week***, I usually make daily alterations of the single-panel comic, The Family Circus****, in an attempt to make it amusing. This effort has produced mixed, sometimes offensive*****, results, but there are people out there who seem to enjoy it. I also occasionally write for MOBFD (Mystery Butt 4 Lyfe!) and try not to embarrass myself on twitter.
Recently, I was featured in a fake trailer for a supernatural thriller about demonically possessed pets. As the video below will demonstrate, I care deeply about consequences.
The short, stocky, overweight, balding priest with the soulful eyes is me, in case you didn’t figure that out.
I began commenting on this site long ago, in the days when the Gum was lush with posts by Lindsay (UR STILL MY PRINCESS!). There were Double-Dogs and Friday Fights, and old man Gabe would travel down from the hills of blog into the valley of comments and argue with the monsters (usually me) directly. This was before the Monster’s Ball splintered the community and turned me into a self-loathing upvote whore.
As the community has grown, the comments section has become a rich source of entertainment and love, but there have also been fights and hurt feelings. It is my hope that my time as a guest blogger will unite broken families, heal festering wounds, and turn the comments section into a veritable orgy of hilarity, the likes of which haven’t been seen since Comic-Con.
But I’m giving myself the Editor’s Choice******. I’m working toward a double EGOT here.
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*That is to say, I’ve not lived outside of Georgia. It’s not like I don’t ever travel.
**Seriously, this is a ground-floor opportunity, ladies.
***To anyone who cares, I promise to catch up on this week’s alterations very soon.
****If you choose to check this out, keep in mind that some of them make reference to previous ones and might not make immediate sense. Also, sometimes the real joke is in the subcaption of the blog post.
*****At least one of them includes a sentence so racist, it makes me cringe whenever I read it. The subcaption is important for that one.
******I am not giving myself the Editor’s Choice.
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Thundercats, HOOOOOOOOO!!! Knock ‘em dead, Godsauce!
You new avatar makes you look like you’re gassy. Did you have Raisin Bran this morning?
Uh-oh. Don’t want to look gassy.
Gas day was yesterday.
Can we count on you to be so witty?
So saith the wise Lawblog.
Godsauce, you seem to like footnotes. May I suggest law school instead of med school?* Tons of footnotes there.
*do not go to law school
Or podiatry instead of pediatrics. They LOVE footnotes.
That’s a pretty corny joke, facetaco. But I guess you nailed it, since it’s pretty instep with the way things go around here.
The other day a student tried to put footnotes in a paper and I was all, “are you footnoting? ARE YOU FOOTNOTING? THERE’S NO FOOTNOTING IN MLA! THERE’S NO FOOTNOTING IN MLA!!!”
Everyone knows that the Smurf Law School grades of a curve so everyone loses their scholarship and they get a better ranking with US News and World Reports. Its kind of a big deal right now.
When I was in law school my school dropped from like #19 to #21 in the US News rankings. It was such a big deal, apparently. The deans (we had 2 at the time) sent out an apologetic email to the student body. Students were weeping more than usual in the halls. Nostalgia.
I have the smurfest smurf right now.
Notes of confusion on the first read give way to a delightful blend of snowclone, Videogum knowledge, and subtle avatar mockery. Coupled with the perfect posting time, Bookface’s jest is sure to elevate any Meet Today’s Guest Blogger occasion and leaves the reader with a feeling of warm joy for having read the post.
Dude, you should follow the Heaven is for Real route and try to get Pet Seminary funded as a Christian thriller.
Uh-oh, y’all. Papa’s in the HOUS–GUNSHOT!!!
Alternately:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f6wzGpFKUQ
Today we all truly be awash in the sauce of God. And it is going to be fucking delicious.
Good luck, my friend!
I tweeted at Godsauce. He didn’t respond. I should have tried prayer.
At least you’ve learned your lesson.
So that was you!
Yes. You would not believe how many dinosaur puns are on twitter.
Godsauce day–AWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Today will be a good day; verily.
WAAAHH HHOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You’re in for a wild ride and a whole hell of a lot of refreshed pages, my friend.
YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I haven’t been so excited since the first time I met Godsauce!
(yes, this is pretty much me screaming for sweet Godsauce attention)
It worked! This is the best day ever, screw you prospective future children!
Whatever, WHERE’S STEVE WINWOOD.
Jay kay buddy. You are one of the few that can get me to put my name is a stupid box and comment.
I knew Father Guido Sarducci was up to something these days! Glad to see he’s still concerned about the consequences.
This post combines two of my favorite sexy things: Godsauce and Priests.
Your job is done for the day with the Pet Seminary video. Pack it up. Game over. Ding Dong. Maybe you have time to get a quick 18 in.
18 inches? That’s his bag, baby!
Wait a second! Who is this guy, then?
Awe, poor guy with his blue skin disorder. Too much silver in his diet, not enough non-silver.
YAY!
Um, that is all.
I actually got upset when you mentioned Lindsey. LINDSEY! I love her – and I miss Friday Night Fights and Double Dog Dares. Waaaah…..
I’m excited for your blogging Godsauce!
The Garden Burger State.
Godsauce Alters Today’s Family Circus made me want to start a tumblr, just so that I can follow the Godsauce Alters Today’s Family Circus tumblr.