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One serious problem I have with cats (Videogum has temporarily become the online home of Cat Hater Enthusiast Quarterly) is that they almost never do anything at all. I mean, I also almost never do anything at all, but at least I can talk and I go to work and pay taxes and stuff, you know? But this cat is pretty cool. I mean this cat is at least doing something, even if what it’s doing is irrational terror.
Now, I don’t think this is a very strong argument in cats’ favor and I am still 100% Team Dogs, but at least this cat regards something – even if it’s only a tennis ball – with some emotion other than scowling condescension. But this cat would almost definitely not let you pet it, and it will probably die at a young age because it will sneeze and knock itself off of a counter or something. Is that too serious? I’m sorry. I just mean that this kitten is a spaz attack away from self destruction. It is probably in the luckiest situation it could be, actually, because it lives in a home with entire giant rooms full of nothing but three separate couches on three separate walls and no carpeting in sight. It goes to show you that each of us is in exactly the situation we’re supposed to be.
Via The Daily What. (Thanks for the tip, Baby Friday!)
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Poor cat. He was just trying to get that tennis ball, but the music kept freaking him out.
I don’t like the use of scary music, it’s like the guy who made this video thinks I’m an idiot without any imagination
That’s not scary music. That’s Witold Lutoslawki’s “Concerto for a Really Happy Orchestra” (1951)
Hey, you found it!!!
To be fair, I make similarly nervous movements when I see big, hairy neon balls.
Should I do it? No. It’s too easy. I must resist! Who am I kidding? I can’t resist.
T…W…SS!
That cat is just a great actor, this just raw footage from Jurassic Park 4. When the CGI whizzes are finished with it that tennis ball will be replaced with a T Rex.
I hope the CGI whizzes are going to tackle that sentence when they’re finished with the video.
You said “whizzes”. Ha ha.
See what I mean? Hilarious. Cats are Hilar-y Clinton. They are Hilar-y Swank. The best.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Aw. Hell. Naw. Say what you want about Swank, but detour your hate parade around Madame Secretary of State.
Whoops. I guess you don’t need me to explain your words for you. You’re doing a good job on your own.
I liked your version better.
Note to self, that saying stupid awful things as a joke bit is not going to work, might get me lowest voted and that true EGOT though
Ian: as long as it was a joke. *keeping my eye on you*
I find your lack of faith in me disturbing
I like Hill-dawg just as much as the next guy, but you have to admit, you CAN NOT take a good picture of her. Not very photogenic on the fly.
Prosecution rests.
Rebuttal:
I think Baby Friday meant that they are award winning actresses and skilled diplomats with accomplishments that far outweigh their physical appearance.
But Hillary Swank isn’t a very good actress… Remember when she dated Steve Sanders? I do. Best work of her career.
SHUT UP I LOOK LIKE HILLARY CLINTON!
As someone who owns a Spazz-matic Adjustable Cat, I share your dislike a spazzy little furballs.
“What is THAT!…… Oh it’s cool, it’s just a dust bunn….. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!…… Chill chill, it’s just the lamp; just the lam…… GAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY AHHHHHHHHH!!” (in response to the vacuum being turned on).
Is that a dead guy on the couch in the background around :47?
Well hold on a sec here… That’s a kitten. Kittens are kind of fun. Cats are assholes. Your argument is still totally valid, Superglue.
I’m pretty sure the tennis ball is, like, the least scary thing about that room.
Agreed. I have never, ever understood the appeal of cats. 100% Team Dog – they care about you, they pine for you, and they are companions… cats could care less about you as long as you feed them.
Eh, for all of the work I’ve seen my friends put into their dogs, I figure you might as well just go whole hog and have a kid.
Also, I saw my friend’s dog eat a candle the other day (the most recent in a line of many, according to said friend), and my two cats have never been THAT stupid.
My dog walked into my baby girl’s nursery yesterday while my wife was playing with our daughter. He sniffed around, looked my wife in the eye, and pissed all over the crib. I’m thinking about getting a cat.
AND I have to stick up for cats on the affection front. Most cats are very affectionate toward their owners and others with whom they are familiar. Our boys greet us at the door and sleep on the bed nestled between us every night. Granted, some cats are dicks, but that’s another cool thing about cats – they have more individualized personalities, in my experience.
Yes thank you! My cats act exactly the way people would typically things dogs do ( as far as being very affectionate). They come when I call them, they follow me around, they love to be in my lap. I even had one cat that would play fetch with little mice! He would drop it right back in my hand and everythang! Everything they do (well, just about) is adorable plus -
Cats smell better than dogs and clean themselves.
You don’t have to walk them.
They are so soft and cuddly and they purr which is the best thing ever.
I have yet to see a cat eat poop from either themselves or any other animal OR eat their own vomit.
They don’t bark or jump up on you and scratch you.
They NEVER, when you walk into a house where they live, stick their noses in your crotch and refuse to stop no matter how much you try to cross your legs or gently push them away, and they don’t ever continuously do this EVERY TIME you walk in, leaving all your friends to wonder wtf is wrong with your genitals that you are the only one they do it to, just you and no one else. Are your genitals diseased? Do they secrete something that smells like dog food? You’ll never know, but you will be self concious about it forever. Well, that’s what my friend said that that happened to anyway, I really wouldn’t know personally.
Every time I meet someone who dislikes cats I feel like they haven’t met the right cat. It’s just like black people! Amirite?
No, that was a joke. I mean, the second part. The racist part. The part about the cats is totally true!
Because I’m a big ole gay lady I have two cats, and my girlfriend being a big ole gay lady she had two cats and so when we moved in together we now have a million cats. And by a million, I mean 4. And it’s a lot of cats! But I love the hell out of them. Every day they participate in the “Cat of the Day” contest and whichever cat is the least annoying wins a prize (the prize is the title). That means at least 1/4 cats is totally awesome every day! And …I could seriously go on about my cats for awhile.
I think what we can all take away from this is that gay ladies love cats and so should you!
I love cats! I have 4 on my own. I’m even thinking of specializing in feline medicine, although 100% cats for 20 years may be a bit much, even for me.
All I really wanted to say was, thank you on behalf of the cat people everywhere!
(I’ve also had dogs, and I will again, and I love them all, but cats are AWESOME)
I give the musical score an A+ but the camera operator a C- … The Blaire Witch Project “shaky cam” effect has been overused at this point. Also, I doubt this was a union job, so points off for that too.
cats are such pussies… and dogs are such winners (farters)!