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OMG, guys, HI! I’m Kira! Maybe you recognize me by my commenter name, caringiscool? Maybe not. I don’t comment TONS but I’m a very Olde Tyme Gummalo, mostly pre-Monsters’ Ball. I’m always doing something – bloggin’, twitterin’, or tumblrin’. I am all up in the internet’s guts like whoa, but I might not be a super familiar “face” to some of you newer monsters. That’s okay! I promise, I’m a super cool lady with some very cool stuff to show you.
When I got tapped to write this week, on the outside, I was like this guy.
“Whatever. Sure, no biggie. Not trippin’.” But inside I was like “HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP Werttrew’s-avatar-of-the-kid-spazzing-out-while-opening-Christmas-presents!!!!”
While I realize that in the grand scheme of things this is just a blog about kitten accidents and hating Gwyneth Paltrow, it’s also a smart, funny, little ship, bobbing in the vast internet ocean of barfiness. Please know that, as a lowly cabin girl, being trusted to (wo)man the ship while the inscrutable, yet lovably crotchety, captain is below-decks dealing with his gout is maybe The Biggest Deal to me. What if I run this ship aground, because I am just a little baby who doesn’t know anything at all about navigating corgis-farting-on-trampolines infested waters? What if I am awful and everyone agrees that I am definitely the worst, stupidest, least funny person who has ever lived? I hope those things don’t happen! And you know what? I’m not going to LET that happen because today I am the Acting Captain of the S.S. Videogum. (Exhausted from nautical metaphors. Blogging is hard!) What I am for sure going to do today is give it the old college try to really knock this old pig skin out of the park with my rugby mallet. (Sports metaphors! Much better. You’re welcome, dudes!)
So, let’s get started on today, shall we? Are you ready to rock? Because, I, Kira, am going to do my best today to rock you like a KIRAccane!* It’s Friday, so let’s have a fun day, and not worry about anything because it’s almost the weekend and weekends are KILLER. Let’s join hands and run, laughing and shouting, face-first into the waves, like we are filming promos for “Friends!” We can do this, guys! FOLLOW ME!
*Please don’t think that is a thing I have ever said aloud, or thought, or possibly think regularly without saying aloud, because I promise I just made that up right now. Pinkie swear.
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This may not be the appropriate location for this, but although I’m not an active “monster” I’ve been reading this site and the comments for years now and I’m really glad you guys liked the Troy crying video I made
“Active monster” is our generation’s “passive bottom.”
That was you??????
Grape Job! Everyone LOVED it!
AHHHHHHHH SO EXCITED
Also, running face first into the waves? What kind of dark remix of the Friends intro have you been watching? Are you thinking of Nate’s wife Lisa from Six Feet Under?
Not that I’m hesitating about running face first into the waves at all. I am already in with you like, so deep! (Gross, I don’t even know what I am saying. Blog commenting is hard!)
no, like this!
carefree and wearing white, with our hair trailing behind us in the wind!
So like a baptism that is equal parts scary and sexy? I’m in!
I’m trying to figure out if that was a Rebecca Black reference, or if you’re genuinely excited, so I know which little thumb to click on. On which to click, if proper grammar is a thing you’re into.
Totes genuine.
Zach Little! I recently discovered your Twilight blogging and it is hysterical. Thank you for enriching my e-life with your i-brilliance!
But he is wrong about the Studio 60 Twitter Accounts! So conflicted!
Is there a guide to follow them accounts? Like do you start of somewhere to follow a narrative?
I would say the easiest thing to do is to find one and then find a list that follows them and then follow that list? (or build your own?)
Zach sums up The Deal well here; and my saying he is “wrong” is wrong; I meant there is a third option beyond “superfan’s passion” – I will post further thoughts on that page because this is already too long..
Holy moly, you and I have twitterrered back and forth forever now, and I had NO IDEA that you are caringiscool. Honestly, that’s probably my fault, once you mentioned to me that your friend was mostly naked/dead on television, I stopped paying attention to anything else ever.
The fault is mine. When I joined Twitter, I was too stupid to foresee that I would also join Videogum, and that my screen names would need to match. it makes tracking me more challenging, which is cool, because I’m an international woman of intrigue and like to fly below the radar.
You know what else is cool? Kiraiscool! Hurray, you’ll do great!
That’s not what you said at the last meeting of our Kira Is Not Cool Club, MRS PRESIDENT!
Facetaco is a rumormonger! I’m starting a Let’s Eat Facetaco’s Mouth So He Can’t Tell Kira Lies About Baby Friday Club. Admittedly, it’s got a limited scope, but I think I can make it work.
Can…can I join?
Sure!
Wait…dangit.
You’ve bested me again, facetaco! Damn your lightning-fast wits!
Sorry, it’s a no facetacoS club. We already have one.
President for Life Schmartmann, please read the minutes
You know you can’t promise corgis-farting-on-trampolines without delivering right? Good luck finding that
I cannot wait to see this!
YAYYYYYYY Kira Day! So excited for this, co-founder of the New Friends Who Like Each Other A Lot And Everyone Is Invited Club!!!
Can…can I join?
Yes!!!! Everybody is invited! It’s in the charter!
Funny how you fail to mention that there are no rules in the charter against KICKING GODSAUCE OUT!
*sniffle*
I don’t feel like expecting you to attend meetings wearing pants is an unreasonable request.
The wolrd demands pictures of Adzuki Bean!
Don’t worry Kira, I got your back today…
Here I am. Rock me like a KIRAccane!*
*I know you totally sing this when you hear this song. If not, you should start immediately.
And even though I only comment sporadically (try using it in a sentence today, Tai), I just want to say that all you guest bloggermonsters have been KILLING it this week. Thanks for the lulz!
I’m trying to imagine what’s in a KIRAccane. Champagne, kirsch, and essence of woodland fairy? (Let’s just go with that.)
I LOGGED IN TO SUPPORT KIRA.
I <3 You, Kira!
KIRA.
AAAAH! AAAAH! AAAAAAAHHH!!! Ohmygod, first grace6697 and now CARRIE??? Dying of happiness! LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Woah! Kira I have been following you on twitter forev’s now and I had no idea you were caringiscool. You’re tweets are my fav tweets.
I don’t know…”I’m a super cool lady with some very cool stuff to show you” sounds like you are enticing me into your rape basement….and as fun as that sounds….wait, what was I saying?
WOO KIRA ROCKIN THE SHIT VGUM OLD GUARD BACK IN CHARGE
ANDY I ACCIDENTALLY DOWNVOTED YOU WHEN I WAS TRYING TO UPVOTE. 1,000,000 APOLOGIES. I’M AWFUL AT INTERNETTING. HUGS?
All is forgiven, my child.