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WHOA! Stop the presses, Vicki Vale. A young woman trained as an assassin who turns the tables on the people who trained her in an attempt to avenge the murder of her parents, played by Zoe Saldana?! You better lawyer up, Fandango, because I’m coming for EVERYTHING!
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And unlike Hanna, that boner you have is legal!
“Avenge the murder of parents” – Note to self from about 54% of the cliche movie characters Hollywood craps out every year.
What if the parents were chimpanzees? #hollywoodpostitnote
I’m really afraid she’s going to forget where she came from. Someone should remind her.
She’s still Columbiana from the block
“Never forget where you came from” is this generation’s “Winter is coming”
If she isn’t from Colombia I am going to be very upset.
Prisoner: “Who are you?”
Zoe Saldana: “Not room service”
Prisoner: “Well, duh. This is a prison.”
Zoe Saldana: “My father only taught me catchy one-liners for assassinating people in hotel rooms.”
*She shoots him*
Prisoner (dying): You could… have said… ::cough:: not… cell… inspection
Zoe Saldana: Ooh yeah. Or I could have said something like “I’m gonna make you my bitch.” That woulda been good, right?… Right?
Prisoner: Eh… Mine was bett—
*He dies*
So, Luc Besson’s basically a one idea kind of guy.
Is this movie just people whispering the whole time?
Sorry, Melancholia won the whisper trailer award.
What a Gabe Wants: The Movie
Missed the scene where Freda Pinto watches The Wire
It is nice to see a movie meant for mainstream consumption that stars a minority actress as the lead. It’s hard enough to get movies where a woman is the main character outside of a rom-com, and Tyler Perry has nothing to do with this. Wins all around.
I know nitpicking at typos in comments is bad form but it’s Colombiana with an O, not a U. I put this in a comment because it refers to Colombia the country, which practically everyone also misspells by putting a U where there should be an O. Colombia is a Latin American country. Columbia is a university/mythical white lady.
Unrelated, where did Zoe Saldana come from, that’s so important to not forget about?
Colombia is where your friend Lalo Calidad is from. Ugh, Hollywood.
Is this the sequel to Syriana?
She looks all bad-ass and then she opens her mouth and it’s much nicer. I think it’s because she used to be a ballet dancer. She’s so conflicted!
This is what they shut down ALL OF THE STREETS to my house for????
Hey, it’s Vaughn from Alias!