Photos
As many performers will tell you, doing crowd work can be very difficult. Even a simple call-and-response question to an audience like, “How are you doing tonight, ladies and germs?,” can be met with the kind of stony, cricket silence that immediately drains your performance of all its energy and enthusiasm. The problem, of course, is that you are putting the forward momentum into other people’s hands, and if those other people don’t feel like carrying it, it will drop like a stone. So, unless you are very sure that you’ve got the audience right where you want them and that they will do what you need them to do in order to carry the show forward, you might be better off just sticking to your material. This applies to stand up comedy, motivational speaking, and trying to get exhausted commuters on a crowded New York subway car to chant “USA!”. For example:
Ugh. It is bad enough to shout in people’s faces when they are all mashed together just trying to get to/from work, but to then have the audacity of pretending like you alone are the only person on the train who supports the troops because you were the one with the courage to pull out your Motorola ROKR, that is some real bullshit. I hope a rat crawled in his mouth and made its bedding and now there is a rat living right in his mouth. (Via BuzzFeed and TheDailyWhat.)
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 A Brief Note On The Subway Rat Video |  That’s Your Boyfriend: Guy Singing “Niggas in Paris” on NYC… | Man Licking Shoes On New York Subway, Obviously |  New York, I Love You, But You’re Grossing Me Out |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
Should have started a wave going first, to get people good and pumped up.
I was thinking a solid round of “Trumps! Trumps! Trumps! Trumps!” would’ve done the trick
Or “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS”
Truly, the terrorists have won.
Usually when I’m trying to get other people to do stuff with me, I generally start out my request with “If you have a pair.”
“Hey coworker, if you have a pair, could you cover the phones for me while I go to lunch?”
“Hey mom, if you have a pair, is there any way you could hook me up with $50? I’m a little short on rent this month.”
“Hey boyfriend, if you have a pair, could you rub my shoulders? I had a bad day and I’m really tense.”
“hey clothing salesman, if you have a pair I’d really like to buy some new pants.”
“hey friend, if you have a pair, I’m looking for some scissors to borrow”.
“Hey monsters, if you have a pair, upvote these comments.”
“hey poker opponent, if you have a pair, I win with my full house”
All of my upvotes.
The rest of the subway car then started their own chant “Indifference! Indifference! Indifference!”
It’s the L train, what do you expect? I’m going to go try to get a “Witch House!” chant started, and am betting I’ll have better results.
Afterwards he walked up and down the aisle shaking his tin can full of change for donations.
Improv Everywhere really needs to work on their material and their recruiting. These things are just getting old.
In fairness to the crowd, they had all just finished an 8 minute long chant of ‘Kill the Voices in my Head’, started by the homeless man masturbating into a sock puppet in the corner.
Here is the amount of potential shit, as a New Yorker you are going to experience on a subway ride home from work:
- Homeless person asking for a donation
- Person asking for a donation ON BEHALF of the homeless
- Mexican Guitar duos busking for change
- Indie Trustafarians busking for change
- Freestyle dancers
- Kids selling candy bars for their basketball teams
- Jesus freaks
- Tourists with boundary issues
- And of course The Crazies
New Yorkers deal with this through steely indifference. It’s not unpatriotic, it’s a coping mechanism.
You forgot one
-People trying to start USA chants
Good list, but you missed the elusive but amazing, “slam poet just trying some new shit out, y’all” entry.
Dont forget motown acapella quartets and pantsless improv groups.
Don’t forget trashy girls loudly discussing their sex life. That’s my favorite
or people sobbing openly for no apparent reason.
Or guy singing a violent rap song along with his iPod oh wait he doesn’t even have headphones in.
That’s a universal transit constant, I only wish New York had a monopoly on that (because I don’t live there).
I liked the guy with the deely-bobber antennae who said he was a Martian trying to raise money to get home, and wanted to take George W Bush with him. Whatever happened to him? Maybe he can still do it, but use Glenn Beck’s name instead? I’d be down with that.
There’s a lady on my ride home almost every day who plays “La Cucaracha” and only “La Cucaracha” on an incredibly tiny combination keyboard and recorder.
Ya know, a good pair of noise isolating earbuds really helps with most of those. Sure, to everyone else on the street, that Trustafarian is murdering some Bob Marley classic, but to my ears, he’s playing a spot on version of Spoon’s “Black Like Me”.
My favorite part is when he says: “you are welcome to all the militareeee! Everyone who protects you.. while you… SLEEP!”
Not only is he anticipating thanks from the entire military, but he’s doing so in a perfect Mitch Hedberg cadence.
Its kind of hard to feel patriotic when you live in what’s supposed to be america’s best city and it takes you an hour to commute 5 miles every day and you barely make enough money to afford your 2000/month rent for your craphole of an apartment and some guy is filming you and yelling at you while you just want to go home, buy 5 of those giant russian beers at the bodega, sit on the floor of your room and get drunk because that’s the only way you can numb the pain of your broken dreams enough to fall asleep so you can do it all again the next day unless your prayers are finally answered and you get pushed on to the tracks on your way to work and run over by the train that you couldnt work up the courage to jump in front of yourself.
Stop reading my journal!
hang in there! it gets better?
I thought the rail system there was pretty efficient? No?
@Gobblegirl, I like the subway a lot, though it can get delayed.
I can’t speak for sadmalandar, but being melodramatically pessimistic is sort of a NYC “thing” to do. Take a look at the headlines of the New York Post or any of the other tabloids and you’ll see what I mean.
I think it’s a great place to live, come visit!
Yesterday, Manhattan bound F train to W4th St – sat next to grumpy old man who yelled at a guy for holding the doors open and then farted. Loudly. TWICE. Then transferred to the E train at W4th St. and sat opposite the obligatory thugged out dude, dressed head to toe in NY Knicks warm up gear, rapping out loud (very) with headphones on.
In New York that’s called, “Tuesday”.
It’s his own fault. When he said “anybody with a pair”, he didn’t specify a pair of what? A pair of pants? That’s gonna knock out half of your subway riders right there. A pair of glasses? Dude needs to be more specific.
Also, I was going to start chanting along with him, but that icy stare I got from Vin Diesel at the :26 mark convinced me to keep quiet.
Best part is right at :38.
wow, subtle!
I like that after embarrassing himself in front of dozens of subway riders, this dude went home and said, “Uploading this to the internet is a good idea!” because he has a pair. I bet he was chanting, “USA! USA!” as youtube was processing the file.
Wait a minute, does he say, “You’re welcome to all the military”? (:44)
YOU’RE WELCOME?!?!?!
Sometimes when heroes try to make a difference people turn on them, like they do to Batman and Spiderman. But this is even more disgusting because these people are passive, like at least feel something for fuck’s sake. Man, isn’t that what being human is about? Feeling? I thought so, unless I’m a goddamn robot hahahahaha