Now you, too, can smell like a chaotic evil halfling-elf priest.
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Now you, too, can smell like a chaotic evil halfling-elf priest.
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Finally, I can cross “smell like an orc” off of my bucket list.
I didn’t know it was possible for virginity have a scent.
Then you haven’t been to Comic Con. You need nose plugs just to walk through the door!
Comic Con has the smell of the carcus of logic tied to a hook in a meat packing plant.
Obviously you’ve never seen the slutty Superman & Wonder Woman couple that show up holding hands every year. Sure the nerd community is renowned for its virgins and the slutty ‘Booth Girls’ prey upon them, but there are some FREAKS that show up every year— the nerds that have managed to find other nerds.
Also, any Slave Leia walking around with a baby has had sex at least once.
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab was, in fact, *at* New York Comic Con last year. Like a wonderful oasis in the middle of con-scent. They are fantastic!
Skin Grease: A new scent from Gygax & Arneson
New, from Calvin Klein, Virginity
An intoxicating blend of Febreeze, Pepperoni Pizza Combos, and Mountain Dew: Code Red that will put the “ew” in “ooh la la.”
Can I just say how nice it is to sit down as a family and not fight? Seriously I’ve upvoted 80% of these comments on this post.
True of most of the threads on this post but THIS ONE especially.
#yeswecanalljustgetalong
I’m on a mythical horse fighting dragons
What kind of bonus does that give to my Charisma checks?
I thought we were trying to reduce bullying…
67-sided dice percent of the time, it works every time.
It’s made with real dragons.
Can I make fun of nerds and still be anti-bullying?
It get’s better, nerds.
Damn you, lawblog!!!

Cooooooool apostrophe. Goodnight, everyone.
Is nerd really an insult anymore? In the past few years it has been glorified and sainted and has managed to become almost sexy. I think most people who play Dungeons & Dragons are proud of this fact and are proud to be a nerd.
Nerd is and is not an insult, to wit:

“Language is hard”—Accurate and Nuanced Barbie.
After the Bully Project Thing, my instincts on how to respond to this are all screwed up.
I hear you, I had a joke about “flop sweat” and “braces band rubber” all ready to go, but now…
I wonder what it smells like?

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly
There has been at least one cool D&D player. That’s right, Daniel Desario.
And he’s drinking Faygo! Something for everyone.
Don’t forget Jeff Winger.
Also, Vin Diesel and Dame Helen Mirren, who may or may not have played Dungeons and Dragons together.
Is it Dame Helen Mirren, or Dame Judy Dench, who was in Chronicles of Riddick with Vin Diesel?
(Chronicles of Riddick: also a perfume.)
(It smells like an angry bald guy.)
I wouldn’t mind smelling like this:
That’s because it is the smell OF AMERICA.
It may well have been Dame Judy Dench who played with Vin Diesel, actually. I’m still pretty sure Dame Mirren plays too, though.
That’s your spokespersons
That perfume is chaotic evil!
“You’ve used D&D perfume, you lose -4 Charisma”
I’ve gotten little samples from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab in the past, one of which my boss at the time described as “smelling like a store that sells pewter wizard figurines,” so D&D perfume is really in their wheelhouse.
You know, this is way more intriguing than it should be. By that I mean I already own all of this perfume.
I think half elf is a little TOO me:
HALF-ELF
White sandalwood, beeswax, white tea leaf, oud, and a hint of sophisticated urban musk
Ingredients for the Eau de Evil: “Smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root.”
Cigarettes, uppers, weed, illegal whale hunting, aphrodisiacs, and exploited West African resources? I guess those are all things you’d smell at the RNC….*
*See what I did there? I called Republicans evil. That was a well executed joke. I’ll see myself out…
“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” -Girls, standing in their doorways at the end of the first date.
LOLIRL!
TRUE STORY TIME: My brother’s prodigy friend (college as a 12yo) came back to visit and he brought AD&D. And we got IN and we got our FRIENDS IN and it was AWESOME. For two weeks, then everyone else went back to playing Little League. Town of 5700=not a quorum for ADD is what I’m saying.
So we dragged on with my brother playing DM and me as the only player. And anytime I tried to use the Orb of Annihilation (exactly what you think it is) which he stupidly gave me the first week, he’d drop a boulder on me and I’d tell Mom and Mom would regret ever teaching us to read.
Basically, my brother: kind of an asshole.
#jkbroloveyoubutyouwereatotaldickDM
My lvl 11 Paladin Sir Balzonqin would approve.
Halfing-elf? What? That doesn’t even make any sense.
Just like everything is a comic-book nowadays, a few years back I found out that everything is also a perfume :
http://www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com/neilgaiman.html
(oh, look, I just realized that it’s by the same people who make the D&D scents!)
I love BPAL stuff. You can also choose to smell like Hellboy (tobacco, candy wrappers, and cat), Chthulu, or a Wild West brothel. I have one that smells like a pirate ship–who here does not want to smell like rum, leather, and ocean spray? (Seriously, it smells SO GOOD)
Oh, dang. Rum, leather, and ocean spray, huh?
That….that is definitely how I want to smell…
uh. i very rarely post and I had to reply just to ask which BPAL pirate scent you got. I am a little obsessed with the perfumes they make.
aunt.agonist, it’s Jolly Roger. So good! My other daily wears are Hellcat (smells like sexy cookies!), Black Pearl, and for date nights, Hunger (smells like sexiness, not hunger).