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Whether or not this push to end childhood obesity as part of Michelle Obama’s White House initiative to promote healthy diets and regular exercise for young people works is still up in the air, but you have to admit, it is really great. Beyonce! Dancing in the cafeteria! Child backup dancers! NO BULLIES ALLOWED! (Via Vulture.)
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At the risk of saying this to a whole bunch of nerds (AKA you guys), is childhood obesity really that big of a problem? I mean, fatties have been around pretty much forever. It is like the world’s second oldest profession. And sure, it’s mean to knock someone down and fart on their head or whatever just because they’re fatter than you. But it also kind of gets you ready for life, you know? The world is always going to be there to knock you down and fart on your head, and that’s a lesson that needs to be learned from an early age. It is bad to be a fattie, but when fatties get older, most of them STOP being fatties and start being adult fatties. And those who continue being fatties, they usually end up in jail, because being fat as an adult becomes an actual crime that is prosecuted. But overall, I don’t think the whole issue is one to get worked up over compared to, say, genocide or something.
oh no! Being compared to a Chris Brown fan is the worst… sorry facetaco. but I still upvoted this.
So did I! If I become a meme, at least I’ll be the meme with the highest word count!
173!
That’s 173 words, not 173 factorial. I don’t want you nerds to get too worked up. #commentbullying
Chris Brown meme only has 43! I feel so accomplished!
“I don’t think the whole issue is one to get worked up over compared to, say, genocide or something.”
The overall wrongness of the meme-starter made me miss the whoppingly awesome wrongness of this line. All arguments are over, to wit:
SOME OTHER THINGS NOT TO GET WORKED UP OVER COMPARED TO GENOCIDE:
• Traffic.
• Jewel’s being a fake
• Chris Brown’s being a monster.
• Your parents’ passing away in front of you, not knowing who you are.
• Less efficient genocide (call me when the trains out of Darfur RUN ON TIME, thanks)
Kudos on taking it in good stride facetaco but: NOPE.
TLDR clarification:
“Most everything you can think is worse than genocide, so you’re argument really is invalid.”
#notactuallyproJanjaweedyouguys
*your for you’re
Your “you’re argument is invalid” uses “you’re” for “your” so your “you’re [sic] argument is invalid” is an invalid “your argument is invalid” and therefore “your argument is invalid” (sorry).
#martingardnergum
#illstopwhenyouaddtheeditbutton
If this is to end childhood obesity why is only one chubby kid dancing? You don’t need to dance skinny kids
“Hey fatties, look what we can do!”
This morning it was bullying, and now it’s childhood obesity. But if we get rid of the fat kids and protect all the wimps, which kids am I supposed to feel sorry for? Didn’t anyone stop to think about me in all of this?
There’s always poverty! Haha those kids can’t go to Disney World
It gets thinner.
Stephen King? Is that you?
If you liked it then you should have put an onion ring on it.
“Watching Beyonce dance makes me feel a lot better about myself.”
-every 8th grade girl in America
“I think I need to go bully myself for a while”
-every 8th grade boy after seeing this
Gah. Always refresh before posting, Huckabeast. Always, always, always refresh.
“Watching Beyonce dance makes me feel myself.”
-every 8th grade boy in America
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a few more reps on your workout routine.
Monster Fit Club!
“That was cool, but this food is still terrible.” -Those kids, after the fun was over
…like you wouldn’t bully a kid who did this during lunch.
I laughed.
And then I self-reflected.
Is it bad that I thought this was the old man from moonstruck?
all the chubby ladies!
all the chubby ladies.
all the chubby ladies!
all the chubby ladies.
now put those snacks up….
the rest writes itself.
At Taco Bell
What The Hell
I’ll take extra cheese
Acting Up
32 Ounce Cup
Who cares what you think
It’s getting all Brill Building up in here.
I need no permission
did I mention
you don’t control my digestion?
This warmed my black heart. I bet those kids had such fun shooting this. Also, I chair danced a bit.
This warmed my hispanic heart and I chair danced as well!
They conveniently forgot to include the scene where all of the children vomit because they’d just eaten lunch and then started doing dance aerobics.
[insert joke about bulimia disorders triggered because Beyonce came to school]
to which I respond, “Bulimia is not funny, guyyyyys.”
At the risk of saying this to a whole bunch of nerds (AKA you guys), is bulimia really that big of a problem? I mean, bulimics have been around pretty much forever. It is like the world’s second oldest profession. And sure, it’s gross to make yourself barf. But it also kind of gets you ready for life, you know? Your finger is always going to be there, putting itself down your throat, and that’s a lesson that needs to be learned from an early age. It is bad to be a bulimic, but when bulimics get older, most of them STOP being bulimics and start being productive, fat members of society. And those who continue being bulimics, they usually end up in the modeling industry, because bulimia as an adult can get you a role on a reality television show. But overall, I don’t think the whole issue is one to get worked up over compared to, say, anorexia or something.
This looks an awful lot like a flashmob to me, Gabe, I thought we were done with those.
I think it’s a fake flashmob. They left the designated area way too open for any amount of children to do naturally.
More like a flesh mob. #grooooossssssss
I would have bullied Beyoncé, if you know what I mean. *wink*
I think I do, krasdale, but given the number of Chris Brown defenders in the lurking mists you might want to clarify.
“No Monstro” would suffice to announce your sexing and not-beating intentions.
I like how at the end it was like, “ALSO, APPLES!”
Politics make strange bedfellows. Sir Mix-a-lot and Sarah Palin are NOT FANS.
How many times to I have to tell you Beyoncé that high heels, leg warmers and cut off jeans shorts is not the regulation gym uniform, see me in detention
I love that moment around 3:21 when Beyonce totally doesn’t run to right because aerobics in high heels is exhausting.
When they sang about and ACTUALLY started waving the American flag, this video crossed the line form barely tolerable to utter rubbish.
Your downvotes are appreciated.
I thought the video was great until the waving flags. I was really not expecting those.
”AMERICA FUCK YEAH” ? Really? America, you have to make celebrity videos in order
to exert your children’s will to move and stop them from becoming walking hamburgers,
BRAVO!
Yeeaahhh Beyonce can def do what she wants but that just seemed kinda heavy handed.
Like it’d be super offensive with most people, but with Beyonce it’s like “LOOK AT THE CUTE PATRIOTISM!!”
Wrong*, it was perfect because I was exactly at that point thinking, “yeah, maybe I get really embarrassed about being American sometimes, but then I remember that WE HAVE BEYONCE!”
*Not really wrong, just different opinions. We are still friends, Drasko.
*from barely tolerable.
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly (donut).
One thing she isn’t going to end is Childhood Boners, amirite? I’m right.
I remember when I was in middle school and the biggest star of the time came and danced with us. It was an honor to learn about exercise from Lou Bega.
a little less cholesterol in your life
If you like it then you shoulda put a daily intake limit on it!
The feeling this video gives me in my Star Wars Underoos is pretty much the best thing going.
Just wanted to say the monsters were on fire in this thread. Major LOL’s over here.