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I’ve got a pretty huge problem with this and I’m going to tell you what it is. Sure, Aziz is in it, and Aziz is very funny. It’s got Jesse Eisenberg, who is a very talented and charming young actor with a bright career ahead of him. Danny McBride: enough said. Nick Swardson has spent years building a devoted fan-base and is due to start getting larger roles in bigger movies. It was directed by Reuben Fleischer, who made Zombieland and is making a name for himself as one of the more unique and original comic directors of his generation. It was written by first-time screenwriter Michael Diliberti, and that must be very exciting for him, his first major motion picture packed with stars! But here is my problem: NO MENTION WHATSOEVER OF HOW DELICIOUS PIZZA IS? Pizza is basically the fifth character in the movie. I mean, here you have pizza as the centerpiece of the whole thing–it even provides the cute reference for the title–and yet not a single person turns to the camera and says “Hey! You know what? Pizza is delicious!”
Actually, maybe this is a good thing, because truth be told, I am tired of how so many movie trailers give away all the good pizza stuff right in the trailer and then you see the movie and you’re like, ugh, aren’t there going to be ANY pizza surprises? PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!
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Ever heard of subtext? That the whole first scene in the trailer was really about wanting to fuck Aziz Ansari’s sister because pizza is so delicious. Read between the lines, Gabe. There’s a large pepperoni pizza waiting for you there.
Seems like there subtext is little pizza vs. big chains; Aziz and Jessie are the small local Italian joints making good pizza, trying to get back, and BAM the big chains come in, whack ‘em over the head, and make them do terrible things to survive. Or maybe all that is just the hangover from the food poisoning I got last night from the pizza joint…
Good Burger 2: Good Pizza
I can’t watch it at work. Is Jesse Eisenberg sort of awkward and mumbly? Does Danny McBride say ridiculous things? Does Aziz Ansari continue to make absolutely no impact on my brain?
dont lie, you watched it.
Did you notice your new home in the background, Facetaco?
Oh man, I for reals am excited to watch this now. Mostly because it’s about pizza delivery (I think?) and the delivery girl at the Hungry Howie’s on Plainfield is a total hottie. Is she in this?
Oh man, Hungry Howies! How I miss your greasy deliciousness. Hungry Howie’s is proof of how good pizza is because even terrible pizza can be delicious.
One pepperoni with cajun crust, please! Oh, and a 3-cheese Howie Bread.
This jagoff is writing screens, or whatever?
AHHH, it’s his Italian Cousin Dilliberti
Watch what you say, Scott Adams is probably keeping an eye on us. No website is safe from his wrath!
You’re him, right?
Hey facetaco, how do you feel about equal pay for equal work?
My question is where are 50 Cent and Val Kilmer?
(This was shot in Grand Rapids last summer. It was very exciting for us!)
If I ever get on Jeopardy, that’s going to be my back-up question for anythink I don’t know.
“Where are 50 Cent and Val Kilmer, Alex?”
Sorry that is incor…wait, our judges say they will accept that answer.
I think Gabe’s having pizza flashbacks, guys. Should we worry?
PIZZA! PIZZA!
Maybe this guy is a secret ghostwriter:
I perceived it as more of a Jerri Blank PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA. In that case, we should be super worried about Gabe reverting to a lifestyle of being a junkie whore, you guys.
You don’t get there in 30 minutes or less without making a few enemies.
Intimate moments for a sensual evening in 30 minutes or less.
From one of my favorite Wikis, List Of Unusual Deaths:
2003: Brian Douglas Wells, an American pizza delivery man in Erie, Pennsylvania, was killed by a time
bomb that had been fastened around his neck. He was apprehended by the police after robbing a bank, and claimed he had been forced to do it by three people who had put the bomb around his neck and would kill him if he refused. The bomb later exploded, killing him.
Hope they don’t go and make it a HOLLYWOOD ENDING now. And cast James Franco as the bomb.
Funny thing is, they caught the guys who did it in maybe 2006 IIRC.
Kudos to Gabe for speaking truth to pizza.
Why doesn’t he just take the bomb off and throw it in a lake or something?
some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb…..
http://gifsoup.com/MjM4MDE1OQ
…or post gifs
This is why you should never blog hungry.
30 Minutes Or Less – “Somebody Has To Deliver The Pizza”
Finally a movie with Nick Swardson in it that doesn’t look like crap. And I actually am excited about that, no sarcasm-o.
Sooo nobody else is a little weirded out that they’re making a comedy out of someone getting a suicide vest strapped to themselves and being forced to commit a federal crime?
I am, yes. I don’t think a lot of people know about that real story. It happened in Erie, PA and it’s still not clear if the guy wearing the bomb (who died when it actually went off) was in on it or not? It was all very bizarre but making a comedy out of that situation seems distasteful, although not insensitive or anything. It’s weird though that I wouldn’t consider a thriller based on the same situation to be distasteful, which is messed up, because it would be just as distasteful if not moreso.
I don’t know what conclusion we reached, but I’m glad you brought that up.
I’ll go see this. I mean, even if the pizza surprises were predictable. We all have to put pizza on our families. Who are outfitted with bombs. Sometimes that is just the way life goes.
in the real life version of this the guy actually exploded, so it would be pretty cool if the last 30 minutes of the movie was a really intense standoff and aziz crying and cursing god from a safe distance.
Where is your god now?
I just found this out, but they shot some of the movie in Grand Rapids, so it is delicious Grand Rapids Pizza!
LOL for everything about this post. I wish I had more than that, a joke or something, but I don’t. I just loved this post. I kept waiting to get to Gabe’s criticism. I’ve been reading VG for a while, and I like a good Gabe Rant as much as the next monster. Needless to say, I was not expecting the criticism that finally emerged.
Thank you, Gabe. Thank you, Videogum. Happy Good Friday. God bless.
I enjoyed that trailer.
Does Jesse Eisenberg play that Jesse Eisenberg character in this movie? I hope so, I never ever ever get tired of it.
This is Jesse Eisenberg’s follow-up to his Oscar sht?
Inside Info – the pizza place that is the setting for this movie, Vito’s, was renovated before shooting began. The pizza is still among the worst in the city. So don’t worry about it