
Guys, I know it has been a long winter. Sometimes it feels like spring will never come. It SNOWED at my parents house on Monday. SNOW! Meanwhile, back in New York, it is still a bit chillier than anyone would like, and these gray skies don’t seem to have any intention of clearing up. It’s exhausting, right? Everyone’s getting a little grouchy and worn out. But, you guys, come on, that is no reason to make death threats against Rebecca Black. She is a little child! From Reuters:
Police said on Tuesday they were investigating two death threats against 13-year-old Internet sensation Rebecca Black over her low-budget music video “Friday.”
The threats were made sometime in March, after “Friday” became a YouTube hit and went viral as a web phenomenon, Anaheim Police spokesman Rick Martinez said.
“In essence the threats were related to getting the music off the Internet or they were going to kill her,” Martinez said.
I’m disappointed in you guys. I guess I just expected more from you. Ever since your dad left, you’ve been so brave and strong and you’ve really been helping out around the house, even your teachers seem to think you’re doing better in school, and now this? Don’t you think I have enough to deal with? Besides, do you even know how the Internet works? You can’t just take this down at this point. Even if you killed her, which you better not, her song would still be everywhere. You should know better. Go to your room. No dessert.
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http://www.avclub.com
Yeah, I went there.
You will get the videogum version of a death threat, downvotes
No she heard me wrong, I asked her if she wanted some pie
“It’s Dieday, Dieday.”
It was German for “The Rebecca Black, The.”
Anyone who knows German can’t be bad!
File this one into the “crimes of ironic passion” category.
“She was asking for it!” – Cannibal Corpse
I’ll bet those threats will make her think twice before she steals Keenan’s thunder again!
I read an article recently about keenan and about he was in a commercial for gum with a unicorn. anyone know if this is real or if it is a lie?
I’ll bet Keenan knows if it’s real or if it’s a lie.
no it was Sarah Silverman, what are your thoughts on her looks?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqSwUoP1NK0
On the one hand, this is really terrible. Making death threats over an internet video is really really really
On the other hand, it is the internet. I am pretty sure I received death threats for voicing my preference for pie over cake.
I’m sorry, bobbytails. It was a long day and I’d just given up smoking.. I’m better now. In my defense, cake is waaay good.
LBT, pie over cake. Are you nuts?
If loving delicious pastries is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
PIE! Specifically Blueberry or Cherry.
I’d marry a strawberry rhubarb pie, and I’m not even lying. It has to be funny and handsome too, though.
So you want to turn Jon Hamm into a strawberry rhubarb pie? Got it.
Pie, specifically ice cream pie.
PIE FOR THE WIN! I get a Cherry Birthday Pie (gross?) every year! Candles and everything. ♥
No, FLW, you’re nuts. You’re out of touch. Frankly, I think you’re acting on thoughtless instinct, craving that burst of sugary reward, failing to think through all aspects of both pie and cake. A smarter, more thorough person than I has explained it best.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/pie-verus-cake-scientific-approach.html
Sorry, this has already been solved.
Paul F. Tompkins: Cake vs Pie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmOkXV-S1zQ
Yeah, his logic if flawed. First:

Second, he doesn’t understand how to make a good pie.
Can we not do .png? I thought we could. ANYWAY. It is an image showing how little of a cake is frosting, and how the rest is crap, whereas a good pie bursts forth with fruit.
He’s out of touch, but you’re out of time. And I also heard a rumor that you’re out of your head when he’s not around.
How did you find that out FT? Were your private eyes (clap clap) watching him?
Yea, two threats over a 10 million viewed video sounds like an alright ratio. Where’s the investigation on death threats toward Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? Or is everyone just OK with them dying?
HELLS YES PIE OVER CAKE! Had a wedding pie, no joke.
I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL ALL OF YOU!!!
Sorry, that slipped. .. mmm (bite of cake)
It’s ok, head pants now, but I stand by my opinion that hiring an assassin to track me down was a bit much.
I happen to know the secret, that melty-soft brownies are the manifestation of angel laughter. (Yes I know what they actually look like, shut up). I have the world’s best recipe if anyone is interested.
Consider my very interested. Too interested, perhaps.
Brownies, Lorry Style
100g butter
200g cooking chocolate (or more if you want)
100g self raising flour
200g sugar
3 eggs
preheat oven and grease a 150 by 200mm dish
beat the eggs together then mix in the sugar & flour.
gently melt together the butter and chocolate then stir this into the egg mixture
pour into dish
bake in oven at medium temp for 30-35 mins (watch out for burning – you can have this verrry soft, like a pudding, and it’s still wonderful)
delicious the next day (if possible!)
her?
someone should teach her a lesson. “And THAT’S why, you don’t record videos about Friday.”
(Praying he remembers how to link images properly)
This explains the dark turn her lyrics have taken lately:
Four a.m., under the cover of darkness
Bodyguard wakes me up, gotta run downstairs
Got have my kevlar, gotta have a tazer
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, shit is that a bomb?
Gotta get down to the police car
Gotta catch my escort, I see potential threats
Tear gas in the front seat
K-9 in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
You sit with the dog! Of course you sit with the dog.
What if the dog is prone to carsickness?
The hell? Why did they steal my dog? And that’s not even a pun!
…humans can lick hands too……
That’s no fun fun fun fun at all.
hmm… internet sensation must be protected at all costs #hollywoodpostitnote?
GREENLIGHT
I’m issuing the weirdest death threats right now.
Okay FIRST OF ALL, I kind of secretly love Rebecca Black. That song has improved my life. SECOND OF ALL, if you start death-threatening every annoying person on the internet, then the very serious death threats I’ve been making against the Dramatic Chipmunk are going to lose all meaning. THIRD OF ALL, if you really do try to kill Rebecca Black, don’t you realize that that will only make her a martyr? She will be stronger than ever, like Jesus or Obi-Wan Kenobi, and then I will have to paint her into my black-velvet painting of the Nighthawks diner, right next to Jesus and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Okay, here is everyone’s chance to admit which internet-meme star they’ve made death threats against. I’ll follow Face King here. I have threatened the Mentos/Coke scientists. Although, my threats against such things do pre-date my Internet experience, starting with this guy:
Aww, Doctor Who fell down.
I hated those commercials SO MUCH as a kid, but I could never remember that guy’s name. My hatred demanded a name to shout while cursing the sky, so I made up my own Batman villain style name for him: The Questioneer.
Can we just dedicate this thread to how awesome Rebecca Black is? She donated the proceeds from the song to Japan! She was awesome in the GMA interview even when the interviewer was reading a series of hateful internet comments to her. And this:
Okay, but nothing will stop me mailing anthrax to the Black-Eyed Peas.
That seems pointless. Anthrax can’t kill holograms OR mummies, and the other two have been dead for years without anybody ever noticing.
I know the band members of Anthrax are short, but saying they fit into an envelope is just sheer exaggeration.
The Sneezing Panda has reached an all-time low.
“What do you mean ‘the threats are coming from inside the blog’?”
This reminds me, someone should really check on the Ark Music Factory children.
But did they say anything about marriage proposals? Did she like the doll I sent? RICK MARTINEZ I NEED ANSWERS!
I’m gonna go ahead and get Jessie Slaughter’s dad on the case. He’ll backtrace it and consequences will never be the same.
I don’t think Rebecca should worry. Her gang is always down to fight… yeah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GaKaGwch0U