Photos
Carrot Top had his hair straightened for a meme photo-shoot for Las Vegas Magazine, whatever THAT is. People are very excited about this photo, I have been seeing it all over the place. I guess it is true that we are not used to seeing Carrot Top with this haircut. Some might also say that we’re simply not used to seeing Carrot Top at all, and they might think that was a good zing, but let me tell you this: Carrot Top is a successful working comedian, living and performing in Las Vegas, selling out rooms every night. So don’t you even worry about it. He’s doing great! Probably? I mean, I do not know what his interior emotional life is like. Anyway, you will be happy to know that he likes his new look! Says Carrot Top: “I was kind of reluctant, but now I don’t want to go back to the other way. This is a way, way sexier Carrot Top.” Not just sexier, guys. Way, way. He also added: “I would so fuck me.” That is true. He did add that. Now you add something. In the form of a caption.
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. 1-800-CONGRATS!
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 “CNN Interviews Tornado Hero Who Happens to Be Wearing a… | Ahmed Angel Is Planet |  Is This Video Of A James Franco Photo Shoot Hilarious? |  Check Out Mr. Cool Boots! |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Boooooooo.
It’s funny because it also serves as a valid caption.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Agemingle.com makes more constructive comments than this. Please stop.
I’m worried about these A’geM’ingle.com ads, you guys.
The difference between A’geM’ingle.com ads and Carrot Top is that at least someone is LOLing because of A’geM’ingle.com. Can I get someone to think alike with me on this?
I give it about two weeks before a “puts (…) up ass” joke is the highest-rated comment of the week.
*puts the chances of that up ass*
“In the next two weeks, the following items will be inserted into asses:
Donna Darko
The Thomas Crown Affair
Bear Hats
Yankee Candles
Brokencyde
Topher Grace’s Ideas”
– Nostradamusgum
“puts (…) up mystery butt.”
“puts ))(( up ass”
Agreed. I blame magnitude and that “pop pop” business.
Would you fuck me? Nah, me neither.
I would NOT hit that. Standards. I have them.
Need more bear hat.
Need more pictures of lips in the background.
It’s a tulip! GET IT?
No matter the style of his hair Carrot Top still had no soul
Lindsay Lohan’s looking better these days.
I’m worried about Jame Gumb, you guys…
Let’s be politically correct here. Carrot Top had his hair julienned
“She’s pretty”.
- Carrot Top
You’ve gotta give him props for trying something new.
This one. This is the one.
This debunks the urban myth that carrots are good for ones vision given the fact that 83% of those who see this picture will immediately gouge out their eye balls with a spoon.
“Want to find out if the carpet matches the drapes?”
They do.
This is news.
No funny quips from me, guys. Sorry, there is nothing funny about Carrot Top.
It was funny when Norm Macdonald asked Courtney Thorne Smith if the movie was called “Chairman of the Bored”
Box Office Poison
I actually do think he is funny sometimes. Like once on tv I saw him and he was holding a binder with photos in it and he said it was a redneck myspace. That’s not bad right? I laughed.
LOL
http://mtv-oma.s3.amazonaws.com/media/nomination/assets/kanyesmile.gif?rev=201004070152
Crap.
Well, he already fucked all of America with Chairman of the Board (America = the 237 people who saw Chairman of the Board), so I guess he might as well fuck himself with that flat ironed hair too.
You think 237 people saw Chairman of the Board? That’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about that movie.
AMC reveals its Omega plan for Mad Men if Matthew Weiner ever left the network.
Mad Props Men
“Ladies….”
This is still better than the Penn and Teller photo shoot. Now THERE was some bullshit.
Carrot Top prepares for the 2012 presidential election in which he will be running against Donald Trump.
This is insensitive. Gallagher tried straightening his hair with the Sledge-O-Matic and now he’s dead.
Never forget (stupid racists).
did gallagher really die?
No, but he really is a stupid racist.
Carrot Top makes failed attempt to join Mad Men cast.
Eric Stoltz poses for Details Magazine.
“Mask 2: Electric Barfaloo”
“Some Kind of Wonderyuck.”
“Crap to the Future”
Orange-skin black-suit Carrot Tops hosts of all your Halloween specials.
This is the lowest point in my career. — That Couch.
I have a really funny caption for this but it requires some props.
Stranger Danger!
His muscles look like they belong in a Lady Gaga video.
Good move, Carrot Top. It’s definitely the curly hair that was holding your comedy career back.
Quite the opposite! Carrot Top’s hair was the thing that was so funny about him. But he realized that if he ever wanted to be anything more than just the funniest hairstyle that ever lived, he would have to give it up and prove himself on his own pure comedic merits. However, Carrot Top lost his nerve once the reviews of Chairman of the Bored and Dennis the Menace Strikes Again came rolling in with headlines like, “Carrot Top’s top still hair-larious.” Now, finally, in 2011, Carrot Top remakes himself as the funny man with the straight hair. Will he succeed? Only time will tell.
Las Vegas Magazine caters to the Las Vegas lifestyle, but Carrot Top caters to your… nope. nothing. He’s awful.
“There. Now that my hair situation is under control, I can finally enter the world as a functioning member of society” -Carrot Top, age 46
“This is a way, way sexier Carrot Top.” – No one. Anywhere. Ever. In the history of mankind.
I am never ready to see Carrot Top.
I made a little out-loud noise of shock as I scrolled down, despite having read the title.
“I’d hit that” -thekelburrows
I think the random room decor is hinting that this is Carrot Top exploring themes of his own duality. A pool table AND a picture of a pool table? Two identical orange lip paintings hung next to each other? Carrot Top: his face screams nightmare, but his straightened hair conjures thoughts of sleek women. His suit is tailored and arranged to de-emphasize the width of his testosterone freak body. I’m just saying, there’s clearly regret and a wish for a new start glimmering in the eyes behind that creeptastic monster smirk.
Double lip paintings all the way across the creepy apartment!
I’m just happy he’s wearing a shirt, honestly.
Sure he looks smooth now. But when he inevitably dangles a fake severed toe between those paintings just to make stupid “Tiptoe Through The Two-Lips” joke, the effect is going to be ruined.
You’d think there’d only be room in that suite for one has-been and yet you’ve proved me wrong.
“Don’t call it a comeback, cause I never been famous” – Chet Haze
This is a ginger makeover failure because I don’t see ANY blonde highlights.
Carrot Top proves that it’s not the suit that makes Don Draper, it’s the Hamm.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this is only a photograph?
He’s our generation’s Braco. He stares, the people weep.
The only difference is people have no trouble explaining why they’re weeping after looking at Carrot Top.
Now no one will mistake me for Shaun White ever again!
Gross. I wouldn’t fuck Carrot Top with Kathy Griffin’s dick.
Is he from the House of Lannister or the House of Stark?
Forget it Jake, winter is coming.
Carrot Top? More like DEAR GOD, GET THE FUCK OFF MY COMPUTER SCREEN. Am I right ladies?
Cool, now that I have my hair straightned I finally look totally normal like everyone else. Yep, that is definitely all it took. Everything else about the way I look is perfectly regular and average.
It’s his greatest prop yet.
Chairman of the Bored: Part II
I’m not sure if I should say “I’m sorry” or “you’re welcome”.
I say “LOL”
Don’t worry ladies, the carpet DOES match the drapes…
PLAGIARIST COMMENTATOR!!!
Awwwwww… it’s good to see you back in good form, Winwood.
redundant use of good. i know. deal with it.
“The millions that I’ve made doing Vegas shows allowed me to become a more spiritual, giving person,” he said, his right leg deftly concealing the dried semen and coke that Juanita still hadn’t cleaned from the orgy couch.
“I don’t know who this lad is, but both he and his clarty flat could do with a liberal application of borax, my word.”
- granny feartie
Where is Copper Cab when America needs him?
First Emma Watson, then Bieber and now Carrot Top? I cannot keep up with all this hairstyling. Wait, this isn’t a caption, it’s a comment.
“I asked for ‘the Rachel’ but they gave me ‘the Monica’.”
Shoot. That’s a really old reference. Oh well.
Is it wrong that I want him as my trophy wife?
Nothing has ever been more right.
“Orang you glad you straightened your hair?” asked smug journalist.
Terrifying Man Terrifies Terrifingly
Carrot Top gets caret top.
I leave you with a Bill Hicks quote:
“You know, no one fucking knows me. No one gives a fuck. Meanwhile, they’re draining the Pacific and putting up bench seats for Carrot Top’s next Showtime special. Carrot Top: for people who didn’t get Gallagher.”
Lionesque.
Upthread.
Yahoo Serious: The Vegas Years
Really? Downvotes? I’ve got a curling iron and I’m not afraid to use it.
Straight hair? Check. Now to work on my lopsided face.
“Carrot Top even more nipple-burning gorgeous.”
-Michael K
“The way, way sexier Carrot Top makes all his calls using only 1-800-CALL-ATT.”
And so he was doomed to live forever, stuck half-way between his transformation from Stretch Armstrong to Anne of Green Gables.
Sad Men.
Seriously. This is killing my Mad Men boner.
“Sad Boner”
I’m ready. Who’s got the peas?
Forget the hair, why do his shoes look so enormous?
Clown feet.
Donald Trump, after 47 surgical procedures.
what a strange looking woman in an even stranger looking kitchen.
#monstersfirstwords
“My hair is now longer than anyone has ever respected me.”
This is the groundwork for Carrot Top’s ultimate prop joke.
The one he retires on. The one you will tell your children about…around campfires….when we sleep around campfires because they have become necessary in post-apocalypse times.
“Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?”
I wish this had more upvotes!
There is a vague rapey undertone to this picture that is terrifying me.
Kathy Griffin kills Carrot Top for the coveted Las Vegas Magazine photoshoot.
Needs more Union Jack.