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If there is one thing that Jews love it is TRADITION! (Let’s put it this way: they love tradition as much as they HATE cats.) So, before you sit down to your seder tonight, signaling the official beginning of Passover with all of its dietary restrictions (Remember what the Bat Mitzvah Squirrel says: “Hey gang, no sandwiches for nine moons!”) please watch this video from the archives:
Gotcha!
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Jewish pranks are still pranks, Gabe. I expect better.
Chosen Pranks are not just pranks, sir.
“Hey guys, watch the look on these fishermen’s faces when I part the sea, LOL.”
-Moses Everywhere
That was like getting Rick Rolled without the Rick.
http://www.ebusybiz.com
hello this website is re-opened
It has some good things welcome to our website go shopping
That gentleman is quite vascular!
That’s the newly ripped Chris Martin, helping Gwyneth to produce Goop.
That’s totally my new pickup line.
“Hey baby, wanna come back to my place, produce some goop?”
Hey, are you coming on to me? – wait let me rephrase that
My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is 12 years older than me and Jewish, lol. We met online at J’Da’te. com The premiere online community for older Jewish women seek younger Jewish men or older Jewish men seek younger Jewish women to meet and share your interests. Ever feel that you would best enjoy someone who is not in your age group or religion? Leave behind the other general dating sites out there and try us.
Here’s one of their most famous satisfied customers.
Yeah, he’s satisfied now, but it WAS a bit awkward when they first met after chatting on line for a while.
Can I meet a doctor on this site already?
I don’t know what’s rising faster: that bread or my pants.
Shit, it’s the bread. Nevermind.
We really didn’t knead to know that.
How to make knot bread.
Those are called pretzels Gwyneth, they serve them at baseball games, which are like polo matches for normies.
when i look at myself in the mirror i always think of food, it’s like i’m the next Martha. and nothing goes better with bread right out of the oven than some gold flaked raspberry jam made in the french alps by monks who have taken a vow of silence.
its not always about rice balls and seaweed you know
Oh, I see. I was doing jump, gyrate, moonwalk, twirl when I was supposed to be doing gyrate, moonwalk, twirl, and then jump. No wonder my bread wasn’t coming out right.
“Why is this night different from all other nights?”
“Because tonight your bread is being used for masterbation by a walking 80′s B movie. Now shut up and eat your kugel”
Sexy Seder
What have you done?
You symbolize escape from Egypt to everyone
You require me to drink lots of win at the table
Then I smile and leer at everything
Then I smile and leer at everything
Jews that dislike cats? Hmmm…
My most awkward upvote.
BLURGH
I’m worried about Birdie you guys, I think she may not be into the War on Cats as much as we initially thought.
I don’t know what to do with this, so I’ll just leave it right here.
Ok ok, I think I got it this time!
“That totally gave me a gay boner.”
-From the comments archive, the first time this video was posted here in 2008.
It’s fascinating to take a look back at how our ancestors behaved. So much is lost in translation, and yet the message remains so relevant even today.
We’re much more sophisticated these days. Now our gay boners are much weirder.
I knew I’d seen this before (outside of my dreams).
I’m really not gay.
Is he anyone’s boyfriend?
Also, I applied for a job as a bread baker on Friday, and now I’m wicked intimidated.
I really wanted the Tradition hyperlink to lead to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRdfX7ut8gw
or this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jP9YpPYAV0
…but I guess I can forgive Gabe, because I didn’t realize that the other link was for An American Tail, possibly the greatest animated movie ever.
Why does the fact that you referenced An American Tail give me a nerd boner (not a real boner, PROMISE).
SOMEWHEEEEERE OUT THEEEERE………
one of the interesting things about growing up in albuquerque is i cannot for the life of me recall ever meeting a single jewish person. seriously, this is blowing my mind right now. i know about jewish people from popular culture only. you could literally tell me that your family wore special underwear to keep out the gaze of those who follow jesus and i might believe you (there are quite a few mormons out here!).
side note: before the jersey shore i didn’t believe in guidos, they were something that other people complained about on the internet, but i wasn’t really sure they existed because it is the internet and sometimes people are full of shit. i don’t know why the first realization reminded me of this…
Ah, so it’s a Jewish tradition to post videos from last year. That explains the Raed video earlier. All those Anti Semites who complained, should be ashamed of themselves.
I have the weirdest… urge to watch Point Break.
Oh man, making that bread just got us all pregnant!
Relatedly, if anyone wants to buy my screenplay “Fiddler on a Hot Tin Roof,” I am accepting offers because J.J. Abrams isn’t returning my calls. It’s about an impotent Jew getting drunk and yelling at his relatives.