Photos
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the Private Dancer Caption Contest winner, and the Guest Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
badideajeans | Apr 8th | Score:80 |
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Seriously, you guys, the gold you get at your favorite grocery store (even Dean & Deluca) can be made from melted wedding rings and is usually acquired via Cash for Gold. And it’s really hard to get the taste of the Poors out of your mouth. Certain champagnes help, but you have to drink A LOT. So it’s so much easier to just go with the Spanish coins gold — plus I cannot tell you ENOUGH about how great that sangria is. |
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| Posted in: A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook | |||
| #4 | |
badideajeans | Apr 8th | Score:80 |
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Her recipe for organic saffron truffles with shaved gold leaf is AMAZING. And she brings up a very good point about knowing where your gold comes from — something she learned from Sting’s wife. If possible, see if you can get Spanish or Portuguese gold coins from the 17th century as their shavings pair very well with homemade Sangria done in the peasant fashion (an included recipe she collected while traveling through the Continent with Moby and Christy Turlington on a moped). |
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| Posted in: A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook | |||
| #3 |  |
gwyneth paltrow | Apr 8th | Score:92 |
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I’m guessing you’ve already figured out who I dedicated my recipe for “A Hot Bowl of Dicks” to. |
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| Posted in: A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook | |||
| #2 |  |
Frank Lloyd Wrong | Apr 12th | Score:96 |
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Someone at work just complimented me on how crisp my shirt looked and I said “Yeah, it’s because I don’t buy underaged hookers.” Unrelated: How do I file for unemployment? |
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| Posted in: Ashton Kutcher’s New Anti-Child Slavery PSA Campaign Is Insane | |||
| #1 |  |
Polythene Pam | Apr 8th | Score:154 |
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“my father’s daughter” was the only way Gwyneth Paltrow could convince her publishers to let her call the book “Me” |
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| Posted in: A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook | |||
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 |  |
unionman | Apr 13th | Score:-29 |
| Hahahahaha. Way to call out those politicians for their cheap suits, Gabe. I love how you can make fun of someone’s suit or talk about all these 5 star restaurants you eat at and literally in the very next sentence talk shit about other people not understanding the dilemma many minorities in America find themselves in. Hahaha. I mean, you clearly do, so please continue. | |||
| Posted in: Best New Party Game 51: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement | |||
[Ed. note: You know what, fair enough! I don't think my off-hand comment about politicians wearing suits was even remotely the point of that post, but in general you are right that I am walking a very fine line between criticizing rich people and celebrities and politicians when I myself lead a relatively comfortable life all things told. It's true! I rent an apartment and everything! I am not sure how much I talk about eating in five star restaurants? Is that a thing I do? I guess I did mention eating in a nice restaurant in a Top Chef recap one time, so you caught me out in the moral LIE that is my life. Although thanks for reading my Top Chef recaps so carefully! And to your original point, my initial inclination was to point out to you that THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT, the rating system only goes up to three stars, so YOU WIN AGAIN! That being said, I went back and looked through some of your other comments and contrary to what seems to be a very real problem for you, this site didn't suddenly become an off-shoot of the Huffington Post. Our first political post was written on April 7, 2008, which, if you do the math, is actually one day BEFORE the site launched. So, we've always covered politics to some degree or another, especially during election cycles. Moreover, we've always been pretty straight-forward about our political positions because to do otherwise would be disingenuous. Since the political posts bother you so much, and you keep saying they are not what you come here for, which is perfectly reasonable, might I make a suggestion: DON'T READ THEM! If you actually look at the site, political posts make up a very small fraction of what's going on here. Why get so upset about it? You can just watch the videos! Or, and this is your nuclear option, you could just stop reading the site. That is also your choice. But I'm not sure how far you are going to get complaining that the site continues to be what it always has been? That seems like a losing battle. Oh, also, do me a favor and please stop calling everyone else in the comments "dicks" and "assholes" and saying "fuck you" to everybody. I know that you might feel put upon and bullied when you get into arguments about abortion funding, and if that is the case I'm sorry, although if you don't come here for the political posts, I have no idea why you would come here for the abortion funding flamewars? I would like to think you are welcome to share your viewpoints here, and maybe it doesn't always feel that way to you, and that's too bad. But enough with the name calling. It's inappropriate and it does not help your case. Thanks!]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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jawnofthedead | Apr 12th | Score:75 | |
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Guys…. I’m worried about Thom Yorke. |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Private Dancer | |||
[Ed. note: Congratulations, Jawn of the Dead. You earned it!]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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MAGNITUDE | Apr 8th | Score:72 | |
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HAHAHH YEAHHH POP POP!!!!!! |
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| Posted in: A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook | |||
[Ed. note: This comment is actually an alley-oop response to Gwyneth Paltrow's comment (please see this week's Top 5 comments) and all I can say is well played, jokers.]
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it’s friday, let’s dance
Shots?
(this gif is begging to be used multiple times)
And here I thought I was the only one who could pull that trick!
Oh man, TGIF so hard, you guys! I essentially sleepwalked through this week. WUTEVER! Party time!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Oh thank god.
Hello Monsters! Time for my monthly reminder on some of the ways you can connect with and learn about the Videogum community.
1. Check out http://www.mobfd.com/ , which is a site run by Videogum monsters, the Monsters’ remora to Gabe’s Videogum shark. You’ll also notice along the top and right-hand margins a lot of helpful links, some of which I’ll post down below.
2. If you’re on Twitter, check out http://twitter.com/werttrew/videogum It is a list of Videogum commenters and contributers. Contact me @werttrew on Twitter if you’d like to be added—there is no criteria for being added, but I would like to your Videogum account name and ask that you be sure to follow @videogum on Twitter. I need your Vgum name so I can match Twitter names with Videogum accounts names on this list: http://www.mobfd.com/p/monster-twitter-list.html
3. One of Videogum’s most popular features is the Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time. If you are curious whether or not Videogum has previously covered a film from the WMOAT, check out this comprehensive list of all films covered for the WMOAT: http://mobfd.blogspot.com/2010/11/worst-movie-of-all-time-complete-list.html
However, there are films that have been panned by Videogum but were not included in the WMOAT series. While still technically eligible for the WMOAT, they are much less likely to be used. Consider this an addendum to the WMOAT: http://mobfd.blogspot.com/2011/03/bad-films-reviewed-by-videogum-but-not.html
4. Ever wonder what an inside joke on Videogum means? Check out http://www.mobfd.com/2010/11/videogum-inside-jokes-memes-etc.html
5. I keep a list of Monsters’ Ball stats here: http://www.mobfd.com/2010/11/httpwerttrewtumblrcompost270476062compl.html Also, check out the highest and lowest voted comments of all time here: http://www.mobfd.com/2010/12/most-upvoted-and-downvoted-comments-on.html
6. Wonder how to post images in the comments? Advice here: http://www.mobfd.com/2010/11/images-in-comments-guide-for-videogum.html
7. Monster tumblrs and blogs (email me at werttrew99@yahoo.com or @werttrew on Twitter if you want to be added) http://www.mobfd.com/p/videogum-tumblrs-and-blogs.html
8. Last.fm. We have Videogum monsters in a last.fm group started by Lolwut // Mjh110. http://www.last.fm/group/Videogum+Monsters Listen to the hip music enjoyed by your fellow monsters!
9. The Videogum Book Club, run by An American Patriot: http://bookgum.wordpress.com/
10. Tips on tips http://www.mobfd.com/2010/12/tips-on-tips-why-videogum-doesnt-use.html
Now I finally get Donna Darko!!!!
Your avatar suitably expresses the magnitude of your joy at this.
I thought you were DirtySpaceNews for a second
Hey Winwood, I think you’ve been Out-Winwooded by Unionman,
Jessica Alba looks pretty in a suit
That picture is taller than Jessica Alba.
Jessica Alba looks really tall in a suit.
Jessica Alba looks really Donna Darko in a bear hat suit
got any more pictures?
Steve, there is this really snazzy place you can go called Google Images, and you just type in what you would like to see. Like, say, JESSICA ALBA! And VOILA! Millions of pictures of her will appear. It’s rad, friend.
doesnt sound to me like a full verity
not really he seems to be upset, where as I take it all in stride, friend
Also, most of the anger against you was over not liking Lost. Most of the anger against Unionman is over him being a hateful asshole.
Yeah, Winwood is actually funny. Unionman is just annoying.
I think I know who Unionman is and why he hates Gabe:
Unionman + Union Jack = Union Jack Man = U Jack Man = Hugh Jackman
That’s a Bingo!
Fun Fact: When you google “Hugh Jackman Pee”, Videogum has the first three results. When you click to see all results from Videogum, there are sixteen pages of Hugh Jackman Pee related material.
Just here for the Landa. I don’t want to steal Nightmare’s thunder, but the things I would do to Christoph Waltz…
Let’s just say I’d hit it. HARD.
This shimmy is kind of mesmerizing
I dont have anything to add to the discussion, but would like to mention that I recently watched some downloaded copies of the Eastbound and Down Season Two and I do want to declare publicly that the second season is every bit as funny as the first season, or as Kenny Powers might say, “tighter than a little girl’s tuna.” You can all proceed to enjoy the rest of your weekend secure in the knowledge that I have filed my approval for this program within your precious commentator community territory system.
Your adherence to commentator community territory system is duly noted and appreciated. However, it appears that filed Form 36A-1 was neither notarized nor filed in triplicate as required by Section 1.37(b)(iv) of the Commentator Compliance Code. We request that a replacement copy of Form 36A-1 be submitted within two (2) months of the timestamp of this return comment.
Best regards,
Commentator Tables
(Apologies. It is possible that the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has EATEN MY BRAIN. Related – does anyone else ever get the feeling that your five year old self would HATE present you?)
I used to, but in the past few years, I’ve made a concentrated effort to make my current self more of a hero for my five-year-old self.
It sounds sarcastic, but I ask this in all seriousness, because I want to know the answer: How is that working out for you?
Pretty great, actually. I play in the woods way more, and have friends who think its a blast; I’ve eaten brownies and pizza for breakfast with the people I was living with, generally eat whatever I want when I want (and this can include healthy food, lots of it if it’s stuff I like); I’ve traveled a bunch more, am still doing so; I read way more fantasy and SF; I generally try to follow what amuses me and look for friends who do the same; I’ve learned new stuff and pursue learning more, cause five-year-olds love learning cause they don’t know shit. Sure, I’m living off savings plus scavenging money where I can and finding ways to live rent-free or cheap rent, and I am in need of full-time work again, but even when I settle back into that, I’ve become someone my five-year-old self would look up to, I hope.
Let’s be friends.
Okay, cool. I’ve upvoted bunches of your comments. If you live between Arizona and Vermont, I can throw gifts at your house as I drive home sometime in the next couple weeks.
“does anyone else ever get the feeling that your five year old self would HATE present you?”
Ah, fuck that kid, he was an idealistic brat. Sorry 5 year old me, I’m NOT an astronaut, I’m NOT a famous singer, I’m NOT a cartoon character friend of Speed Racer, I’m NOT s.t.d. free, I’m NOT a source of pride for my parents, I’m NOT likely to get off welfare soon, I’m NOT someone who can move to a new city without registering as a sex offender, I’m NOT someone who has the time to use clean needles… But I AM a professional clown.
/winning
Well played friends. Good show, good week. Carry on, tally ho, and so forth.
I was sure my Blingee shopping cart was my ticket to the Ball. Alas, I was mistaken. Once again, I present to you in all its tacky glory.
I loved it then and I loved it now. Probably because I also own one. Don’t worry Blue, I’m living proof that Monster Dreams do come true.
I ALSO own one! If I ever doubted it, now I’m sure that this is the site where I belong.
In this next gif, I am the bear and the Hulk has been my week:
Thanks for getting this ol Monster into the ball again, friends. It will be my cold comfort as I drink myself to sleep tonight.
Excelsior!
Feel better/you earned it
I can’t stop laughing at this!!
First time in the ball? And a caption contest no less! You guys are the best and I think this gif sums up my feelings about this place pretty well. (thank you concert addict)
I can’t believe it’s your first time! You’re a commenting rockstar. Congrats!
You’re one of my fave commenters and I am so glad you made it! Congrats!
You killed it this week, bro/ho.
Monsters, Friday Night Lights starts its last season on NBC tonight! Last season! Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose if you put this on your DVR, unless you have a lot of episodes of This Old House taking up space on your DVR you have been waiting to watch and now you don’t have any room for Coach and Tami!
Can we get some recaps up in here, Gabe??? Is that horse dead? I do not care, I will continue to beat it.
Siempre me impresiona el humor de los monstruos. Que tengan un buen fin de semana! Nos vemos en la famosa “charla de los borrachos”.
“I am always impressed by the humor of the monsters. Have a great weekend! See you at the famous speech of drunks.”
See, Google Translate loves you too, Baby Friday!
LOLOL @ speech of drunks. That would be so much better than drunk chat–which is saying something, because drunk chat is the best.
I’m calling it. We are officially changing the name to “Speech of the Drunks”!
FYI, Google Translate makes that last part say “the famous speech of drunks,” which is now my most favorite thing ever and is going on my business cards.
Ay! Doña Darko.
Doña Darko Doble.
Have a ball, monsters. I’m off to go play a cowboy in the rain. Seriously.
There’s not really any context for this GIF. I just think it’s awesome.
http://www.gifsoup.com/view/2248299/lincoln-breathes-fire.html
I made it? I made it!!!!
Best. Friday. Ever.
Congrats!
Way to go!
Thanks!! Now I need to figure out how to do a clever .gif so I can really fit in!
Go to gifsoup–they’re done for you! (Careful though–the front page is mostly porn-y.)
Not a .gif but a damn good pic for a Friday!
No doubt! That fella looks like he knows how to have a good time.
Yay! The weekend!
It’s the weekend! You know what that means, you guys:
IT’S MY BIRTHDAY, THAT IS MY EXCUSE FOR THIS
SHUT UP YOU LOVE IT
Allison Brie! Oohhhhh
whoops I just watched this for three minutes straight where am i
on the same page as me, bro
the hair, and the laugh, and the eyes and teeth and the… and the… and…
Incredible talent?
Oh, happy birthday! I honestly didn’t even read what you wrote until just now.
thanks!
what I dont get is why would pete cambell on mad men want to cheat on that with man face peggy olsen (who I actually think is kind of cute sort of) and that weird fat german nanny neighbor chick that one time? I mean come on you are really dumb for real
I’ve never wanted to high five steve winwood this badly before.
Is this how hypnotism works?
I honestly cannot wait for your next birthday.
After reading the rest of his comments, it’s become clear that unionman is Charlie Sheen.
GOOD WEEK MONSTERS!!
guyyyyyyyyysss…is anybody else watching Beverly Hills Fabulous? Cos I am.
been so long I forgot what the ball felt like.
Nice try, PSS. I’m not touching this.
Oh. Shoot.
Gabe is our Anwar al-Awlaki. Inshallah, I will make jokes with him soon!
http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/04/13/the_world_of_holy_warcraft?page=0,0
why the hell is this child weeping..? Anyways he still looks so cute.
Xtreme NO