IMPORTANT FART NEWS, YOU GUYS! THERE IS AN ACTRESS WHO FARTS! I KNOW, I COULD HARDLY BELIEVE IT MYSELF WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT, BUT ACCORDING TO A THIRD-TIER GOSSIP WEBSITE, IT IS TRUE! WHAT A WORLD. From BuzzFoto (via Gawker):

Which A List Female Celebrity who makes the big bucks is known in the industry as being one of the smelliest actresses around? Apparently she has ‘gas’ that could clear a set faster than any director.

WHOA! PRETTY SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS. WHO IS THE ACTRESS THAT IS KNOWN FOR FARTING SOMETIMES? I MEAN, THE BLIND ITEM SAYS A-LIST, BUT HOW FAMOUS CAN SHE REALLY BE IF SHE FARTED? AT THE VERY LEAST, SHE PROBABLY CAN’T STAY FAMOUS IF THE WORLD FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS. PROBABLY A LOT OF P.R. REPS EARNING THEIR PAYCHECK TODAY TRYING TO KEEP THIS SCANDAL UNDER WRAPS. GOOD LUCK, P.R. REPS! FOR NOW, THOUGH, THE MYSTERY CONTINUES. WE WILL CONTINUE TO STAY ON TOP OF THIS VERY IMPORTANT NEWS STORY THAT IS IMPORTANT AND NEWS.

Comments (70)
  1. Thus began Fart Watch 2012.

  2. Smellen Page

  3. In my neighborhood, we call keeping a farting scandal under wraps a “dutch oven.”

  4. It’s 2011 we should all acknowledge that women fart or else Geraldine Ferarro died in vain. If James Franco had smelly farts he’d be all hell yeah I fart, also I made a short film of naked people in Anubis masks who all fart

  5. I think we all know who the culprit is.

  6. I would care less, but I don’t and I like this. Farts: They’re just like us! (PS – it’s Cameron “Trouty Mouth” Diaz)

  7. As her beauty shines on and her youth refuses to fade, somewhere inside her a painting gets smellier and smellier.

  8. Very blind. Very item.

  9. I promise you this: She is a vegetarian.

  10. Breaking Wind News, more like!

    (No, no. Keep your upvotes. Your laughter is thanks enough.)

  11. Sorry guys, gotta go. My son Rip is on line toot.

  12. ME: “Don’t let me down, internet. Tell me that there’s a website devoted exclusively to famous actresses farting.

    INTERNET: “Come on, brah. Who ya talking to? I got ya covered.”

    http://www.actressfarting.com/

  13. Elisha Cuthfert.

  14. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  15. Time to let a little S.B.D.

  16. AND SHE’S JEWISH?

  17. I mean pooish

  18. Gwnyeth Poottrow.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.