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Hahaha. Wait a second. I thought that the whole point of the afterlife is that we are going to be personally judged for our actions on Earth up/down THERE, so we need to pray and be nice to ugly people and all that stuff so that we won’t go to hell. Right? But now it turns out that we have to pray just so that God doesn’t come down and…murder everyone…with nightmare clouds? (I know there is also Rapture theology, but a) that is different, and b) isn’t God coming down and murdering everyone with nightmare clouds the point of Rapture theology? In which case I guess you shouldn’t pray? I’m so confused!) Seriously, which is it? Do we pray in order to feel God’s Spirit of peace and grace enter into our hearts and ease our pain and suffering, or do we pray in order to make God back the fuck off? I’ll take my answer off the air. (Via DangerousMinds.)
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“Oh, Jesus H. Christ!” – God
So am I the only one who is offended that we still somehow have a national day of prayer?
I think we should replace it with a National Day of Keep it to Yourself.
“Yeah dad?” – Jesus
“HELLO!? WHAT AM I? CHOPPED LIVER?” – The Holy Ghost
http://ta.gg/3vu
hello this website is re-opened
It has some good things welcome to our website go shopping
In the end, not enough people pray, and then God comes down to spite us all and TWIST it turns out God is a woman! And also, Bruce Willis has been dead this whole time.
But we are left with only tantalizing hints about where the moon actually came from.
“C’mon.” – Bill O’Reilly
“But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee… Whoa. Hold up. You guys… you guys have umbrellas? I have to be honest, I did not see that coming. These nightmare clouds aren’t going to do much now. Ha! Head scratcher, right? Um… I’ll be back later. I have to rethink my whole plan.” –God.
Rihanna knows what’s up.
The Day of Prayer is also Cinco de Mayo? Looks like plenty of people will be praying that day…praying to the porcelain god!
You guys get it. It’s a smart joke, and you guys are smart folks.
?Sorry for the huge image, I’m new at this.
pro tip: shave that moustache.
Seis De Mayo, Holmes
You know the organizers were like “we got to take this day back from the Mexicans”
More like Cinco de PRAYO
whoever planned all the holidays in 2011 did a great job. First, the 100th anniversary of international women’s day was on Mardi Gras and now the day of prayer is on cinco de mayo. What will be next? Christmas on falling on a pagan holiday?
I WILL NEVER PLAY WII AGAIN
National Day of Prayer, brought to you by the Sony PLAYSTATION3
Praystation 3
And directed by MICHAEL PRAY.
Wait, why is the video implying that my grandparents farmhouse (see opening shots) is the epicenter of heavenly wrath? I realize I am a no good urban blasphemer, but granny tables is a saint!
Wait, was that the famous Tables Stables in the video?
I’m not sure if you caught the very subtle suggestion that God might also be made at San Francisco for some reason.
He’s after Tony Bennett’s heart.
And, what is that, the US Capital building?????
Yes. Only the good people of Iowa can save America from the demonic hands of its elected representatives (and Homo City!). And they can do this by being terrified in Iowa. Christianity sounds great! Where do I sign up?
Also, is there a limit to how many times I can sign up for Christianity!?
The twist is that that is where your grandmother keeps Cthulhu.
That would explain so much, actually. Specifically, why lutefisk is willingly consumed there. Madness indeed.
The twist is actually that THE PRAYER IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
National Day of Prayer 2: Book of Secrets
…But they kinda give away the endtimes in the trailer
I’m gonna properly post:
The twist is actually that THE PRAYER IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
National Day of Prayer 2: Book of Secrets
…But they kinda give away the endtimes in the trailer
It’s only Tuesday, but I’m gonna go ahead and bet this is the funniest thing that comes along this week.
I’m 100% sure this is what Shyamalan had in mind when he made The Happening. We didn’t pray to ‘plants’ enough, ok.
What is the opposite of praying so I know what to do that day?
Masturbating, probably.
Waking up in a stranger’s bed. Coincidentally, my favorite Easter Sunday ever.
Praying sarcastically.
I can’t believe God thought it would be so funny to hot box the earth.
All I know is this has me looking forward to the annual Church and State Fair.
that was basically the same as the TNT commercials for the NBA Playoffs…..
RIGHT??
Should I take it as a sign that the National Day of Prayer is on my birthday? Guys! What does it all mean?!
OMG it’s my birthday too! Double monster birthday, Cinco de Mayo, National Prayer Day, worlds colliding!
Guys! It’s my birthday the next day, so if we don’t pray, the scary clouds will come and I won’t get a birthday! This is serious!
taurus’ unite? is that the plural of taurus? or tauri? no one’s going to see this.
seed
Hey remember at the end of Highlander II (of course you do!) when MacLeod takes down the shield with his final quickening (the sacrament)? Then the nightmare clouds dissipated and all of mankind was able to begin to break from their angst (rejoin God)? Then there was that touching moment where Louise finally sees the stars for the first time in her life (enlightenment)? Powerful stuff. Powerful stuff.
So see, you guys, this isn’t that weird.
Do you remember when this happened in the last Matrix movie:
And I screamed at the screen, “We fucking got that already!”
This looks like a trailer for a very good M. Night Shyamalan movie.
The shit also looks like a wack ass Evergrey music video.
This looks like the video intro to God’s keynote address at the Republican convention.
All I know is, when I pray, it’s hard to ignore tiny sounds, like the house settling or mini-post-breakfast burps. So trying to do it when the sky is exploding would just be way too much.
Get on your knees bitch… and pray- God
Screw it. I’m going to rename this “Day of Slayer”. Show No Mercy (the album) you scum!!!
It’s disappointing that the most vocal practitioners of religion are always the ones who miss the point the hardest.
I’m going to pray for 2012 to get here quicker.
was this the trailer for the next Dan Brown movie? I didn’t see Tom Hanks
“Join with millions in prayer…as long as you’re Christian”
Aaaah! Think with your thoughts, dummies! It’s the only way!
glad to see this summer’s action movies are getting an early start on their promos
Uh, it’s been done. Done terribly, but still done.
“What if we didn’t care?” – rhetorical question is rhetorical?
Also, I think that the Shyamalan-Smith-Smith apocalyptic dream project just found its tagline.
I got hardcore into Rapture theology about 7 years ago. It is fascinating and totally bonkers!!
Hahahahaha. Christians don’t know much about meteorology and how it pertains to Pacific Coastline weather. You can’t get an apocalyptic thundercloud in that short of time. It’s not like Iowa. Learn some science, jerks.
They’re not going to be happy when they find out how mountains work either.
Or when they find out about how afterlife works.
if the young man in the green polo had stopped playing WiiDare to play some WiiPray then maybe God wouldn’t smite all of the earth in revenge..
I wish someone would make a trailer with O Fortuna in the background and a montage of what everyone will actually be doing that day: driving to Wawa, picking their noses, eating some Mexican food, looking at YouTube…
DUNH. DUNADUNH. DUNH DUNH DUNH.KITTY CATS. DUNH. DUNADUNH.
I wish someone would make a trailer with Bib Fortuna in the background and a montage of what everyone will actually be doing that day: bargaining with Jabba, knocking down their protocol droids, eating some frogs out of a bowl, looking at the Rancor eating fools…
Lapti nek, rat a ran wim joct co jappi qaff
Wawa? Are you from Philly?
New Jersey. Close enough!
I’m kind of impressed by how transparently primeval the whole thing is.
Two thousand-something years ago: On your knees, or the Sky God will murder us all!
Several centuries, a billion cellphones, and a zillion gifs later: On your knees, or the Sky God will murder us all!
“Christianity: Fewer Virgins Thrown Into Volcanoes Since 0. Call It a Big Improvement.”
And God said to Abraham, “Put down your Wiimote for five fucking seconds.”
You know, since all those nice folks across the (apparently) Midwest are praying for us San Franciscans, I think we’ll just take it easy. Vegan bacon, anyone?
19 And the great city was divided into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell: and great Babylon came in remembrance before God, to give unto her the cup of the wine of the fierceness of his wrath.
20 And every island fled away, and the mountains were not found.
21 And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of at alent: and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great.
22 “Interesting act,” sayeth the talent agent. “What do you call yourselves?”
23 “The Aristocrats.”
It’s pretty clear that the reason God is so pissed is that white people are hanging out with people from other ethnicities. NOT IN GOD’S AMERICA, YOU DON’T!!!!!!
I kept waiting for the “Only on Sy Fy” tag at the end. And maybe a jump cut of Sharktopus lunging at the screen.
Hey guys check out my sweet new visual effects reel.
Pretty sure Hollywood is going to be PRETTY interested.
Does anyone know the piece of music? Is it actually the same song I associate with every Michael Bay style movie ever, or is it just another riff on the same idea?
See, I feel bad for God. I think his anger problems are the result of a rough childhood or something(?) and he’s just no good at handling them, like a lot of deities. Plus, he’s made some really good universes. No bullshit.
I don’t know whether or not I’m still brain dead from watching that Card Crusher thing, but GOOD LORD MY BRAIN CAN’T MAKE THIS MAKE ANY SENSE.
Still just blinking at the screen.
I love how the two places besides the church that get highlighted are the White house and San Fransisco. Like, “The gays and that one black guy in power REALLY need to start praying because they have definitely left God behind”