Hahahaha. MuggleMatch.Com. Oh brother!

Comments (46)
  1. Sorry, I don’t associate with mudbloods.

  2. A website for lonely nerds? It’s about time the internet started to cater to that demographic!

  3. “I used to think the only time I’d use the word ‘keeper’ was in a sentence referencing Quidditch. MuggleMatch proved I can use it in relation to a human I have feelings for!”
    - Cassandra, 15, Alabama

    This is the saddest thing I have ever read, for realsies

  4. So, if I create a profile, will it match me with Chris Hansen?

    • “I see you’ve brought a bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, a six pack of Butterbeer and some condoms.” — Chris Hansen

      • man, Bertie Botts’ suck. I feel like there are at least six grass or barf-flavored ones for every tasty one in the box.

        • Is the problem the company making the vomit-flavored jelly beans, or the person buying them?

          • My biggest qualm about them is this: people buy them in order to feel like they’re a part of the magic, like they’re in the wizarding world of harry potter, etc. BUT if the ratio of delicious to disgusting jelly beans was the same in that world, none of the wizards would buy them is alls I’m saying…

          • There’s a chance that they might taste like vomit. Even if it’s just a small chance, I really don’t think the wizards should be buying them anyway. I’m guessing Hogwarts isn’t exactly Ivy League.

          • @facetaco Counterpoint:

          • While we are discussing food tasting like vomit, can I ask if anyone else thinks olives literally taste like vomit? I forget which kind it is, but man, sometimes I end up with olive bread and think maybe this time will be different, but no, it tastes like at least 60% of the times I have vomited.

  5. I don’t get this particular reference as I don’t read children’s books. I am an adult.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, LEGO Batman on the XBox 360 won’t play itself.

  6. Who wants to meet a muggle? Give me WizardWuv.com any day.

  7. [I]The moment Bella and I met felt like the merging of peanut butter and jelly: perfect together! We immediately began completing each other’s sentences. I said Harry, and she said Potter! I said Wizard, and she said Rock! – Edward, 25, Washington[/I] – Twilight’s Lives Are Harry Potter

  8. “Wow, when I said ‘Accio Hottie’ I didn’t expect it to work!”

  9. Hi, single white muggle seeks hairy potter.

  10. I had a feeling this was the case, but I clicked on the TRY NOW button and yes, folks, this is clearly the work of Brad “Prankosaurus Rex” Pitt.

    Like I said, TOTALLY thought it was a HILARIOUS JOKE, which is why I clicked the button. I’m not planning on eating my Lean Cuisine over the sink tonight due to my heart-breaking loneliness and saw MuggleMatch as an opportunity to finally meet someone like me. No. I clicked the button because other people are just so SAD. Totally.

    Sigh.

  11. At first I thought it was “muggleWatch.com”, and I was like, damn, the Voldemort administration is really going for transparency this time around.

  12. Gabe, remember how you were all “Let’s not pull pranks guys, they are lame.” Yet here you are, dangling the comic gold that was about to get me through the next six hours of my horrible job, and nope, it’s a prank.

  13. I’m going to the Universal Studios Harry Potter theme park this weekend (no fake-o), uh, for a friend…

  14. I was set up on a date in an “up and coming” venue somewhere in Bushwick. When I got there, I was assaulted and left with only the muddy clothes on my back.

    Turns out that I made a typo and got set up on MuggerMatch.com. Spell check is your friend, kids!

  15. Does anyone remember “Playwitch” and “Playwizard”? Just, uh, wondering.

  16. potter fan + potter fan= crippling social disorder

  17. Damn, another one of my submissions makes it! I’m 2 for 2 today!

    #explainabrag

  18. What’s a Muggle? But seriously, I’m looking forward to senility, so I can ask this question with integrity.

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