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Kourtney Kardashian, your girlfriend, had a small part on One Life to Live, your TV show! She plays a lawyer, OBVIOUSLY. Haha. The reason that you know she is a good lawyer is because her very first line on the show is “I’m a lawyer!” SUSTAINED! Man, it is REALLY weird hearing words come out of her mouth, because for awhile it’s hard to tell what they are. She definitely doesn’t know. It’s kind of like that alien in Men and Black who has trouble fitting into his human skin suit and there’s like puss oozing everywhere and his eyes are black and he’s like “MAKE ME TO PRESIDENT!” but with just really simple words, like, “My name is Kassandra.” (Also: her name is Kassandra.) Anyway, Kourtney really gives this whole acting thing her best shot, and she even gets through a couple of lines–including the brain-melter “it’s unconstitutional”–before she just straight up biffs a line but the director keeps it in because it’s Kourtney Kardashian and we do not have all fucking day.
Wait for it.
Wait for it!
Haha. Pretty sure “well IF you’re the one who opened your big mouth” is not a sentence. CUT! NAILED IT! (Via Vulture.)
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Gabe, if you’re the one who posted it!
I think I speak for the entirety of the nation when I say I could not care LESS about a KARDASHIAN appearing on a SOAP OPERA. At least I wish I was speaking for the entire nation. *sigh*
as much as i dislike certain actors/actresses/musicians, they are at least usually famous for DOING THEIR JOB.
how is this girl famous? why did they make a reality show about her and her sisters? why did she get to perform on stage with prince*? and why the hell do i know that ?
*apparently prince kicked her off stage.
She is famous because her sister got peed on by Ray-J in a sex tape.
You CLEARLY didn’t watch it bro.
As someone who has been to a gym once, that is exactly how gyms are.
Well, duh. Have you ever seen a gym that wasn’t in a ski lodge?
Wendy Williams and Kourtney Kardashian are in the same episode? How did that happen without their sheer talent blowing up the set?
the only thing i know about wendy williams is that she is constantly being made fun of on the soup and due to my osbession with watching the game show network, she is going to host a game show?
Me fail lawyering? That’s inconstitutional!
those girls do so many things! i wish there was a way to keep up with it all
Kar accident! Worker’s Kompinsation! Kash Settlements!
I’m Kassandra Kavanaugh, with two K’s, personal injury attorney-at-law and I won’t rest until you’ve had your day in kourt!
Kall me now — 555-K-K-K-K (Keep Kalling Kassandra Kavanaugh)
Remember, Kassandra Kavanaugh — with TWO k’s, because three would be redundant and racist.
This ain’t no Kangaroo Kourt
-Kassandra Kavanaugh
You Kan’t Handle the Truth!
If I weren’t lazy and knew how to post gifs (i’m old, computers scare me), I’d post on of Abby Elliot’s lawyer like person from SNL and say “she knows what you’re talking about.
Very brave choice by Kourtney to deliver the line, “oh snap this is getting interesting” in a completely dull and flat monotone. It’s the way she constantly plays against expectations that is going to win her all the Emmys.
Oh snap. I just plagiarized a comment.
Her acting skills remind me of Bristol Palin’s. Can you imagine the two onscreen together?
Oh snap. That got pretty interesting.
44 seconds?? This video is 6 minutes! I clicked expecting only 44 seconds of incomprehensible pain. 6 MINUTES?!!? My eyes are bleeeeeeding.
Gabe didn’t say the clip was 44 seconds long. He only said that Kourtney acts for 44 seconds without messing up.
You do the math.
Totally fair. But I DO maintain there was enough ambiguity that I could MISTAKENLY expect only 44 seconds of soul destroying pain. I do feel terrible for blaming Gabe, though, this was all a big misunderstanding, please don’t punch me so I don’t have to go to the police station handcuffed to this thing
SUSTAINED!
During college I was really into this show, so I have a soft spot for it, especially when I see the same characters are still on there (hello Blair and Christian). But jeez, One Life to Live, you’re really stretching my good will but putting that piece of cardboard on you. General Hospital didn’t do this to me, they got James Franco.
During college, my roommates and I (all virile young dudes, of course) were really into Days of Our Lives and Passions. I think this was because we only got one channel and Days was on right as we were waking up (11am). Also Passions had a magical little person.
To this day Mar-Timmy’s is a joke I make at bars. I am very popular.
Kourtney Kardashian is actually more convicing as a human being while acting than she is in “real” life.
This has worse production values than Kim’s sex tape. But better acting.
PUNCH.
“Welcome to Gym.” – Will Smith
PUNCH
“Welcome to the gym, bitch.” – Luke Ward
For someone who is on TV every single time I’m looking for something better to watch, she sure isn’t comfortable in front of a camera.
GIFSoup
This actually is my tv show (I am not ashamed!), but we’re going to have break up if this krap kontinues.
Noooooo!!!!
Bravo! I almost choked on my turkey sandwich from laughing so hard at these pictures. That last one almost killed me.
ugh supposed to be a reply to deepomega
I really enjoy when someone is such a poor actor that it seems like they don’t even know what words mean.
I like how good she is at dead behind the eyes.
Wait… Anybody else weirded out by that beginning part? Is that part of the show?
Being cuffed to a guy is unconstitutional? I gotta rethink my Friday night plans.
“My reputation is important to me.” – Kassandra Kavanaugh. Is this show up for best comedy?
This is incredibly excellent! The best 6mins on Youtube. Easy.
Sorry, I can’t buy Kourtney Kardashian as a lawyer. There’s no way that girl has ever passed a bar in her life.
“How can I ever talk?”
(beat)
“With you here.”
Turns out that the acting bug is just drug-resistant herpes.
Ok, listen, I know I am supposed to be horrified but I loved every second of that and want MORE.
You’ll never know what you’re terrible at unless you try.
Okay when you get arrested even if it is at the gym you don’t get to change your clothes. And since soap operas are known for being super realisitic this is really disappointing.