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Baby 1: I hate this Benjamin Button disease and I long for the days of my youth. Or is it the days of my old age? Haha, it’s always hard to tell.
Baby 2: I hate it, too, but we had some good times.
Baby 1: We sure did. Remember when we were kids and you slipped on a patch of ice outside the druggist’s and broke your hip?
Baby 2: I sent you a telegram at your mah-jongg game and you hurried over right away. What was that old horse’s name, anyway?
Baby 1: Racist Molasses.
Baby 2: It’s a shame how they had to turn her into glue for the war. Hey, speaking of phillies, remember that old dame you used to shack up with?
Baby 1: Who, Edna?
Baby 2: Ha! Edna Goldblatt! Yes. I haven’t thought about old Edna in 20 years. She was a real peach!
Baby 1: She sure was. Wait, what do you mean she was a peach?
A full translation of this argument after the jump:
Baby 2: What do you mean, what do I mean?
Baby 1: I mean exactly what I said. What exactly do you mean by calling Edna Goldblatt a peach?
Baby 2: Wait, you know that Edna and I were an item, right?
Baby 1: EXCUSE ME?!
Baby 2: Oh come off it. You knew. Didn’t you? You had to have known.
Baby 1: You both seem to have failed to mention it.
Baby 2: Look, it wasn’t a big deal. We met one night at one of those terrible Gin Rummy dinner parties that Helen used to throw. You were there.
Baby 1: Yes, I was there, with my DATE, Edna Goldblatt.
Baby 2: Don’t get all bent out of shape. It was no secret that Edna Goldblatt enjoyed the company of men. Besides, that was 60 years ago.
Baby 1: Well, this is a shock.
Baby 2: If you weighed more than 20 pounds, I would suggest that you have a drink to calm your nerves, but you’d probably just barf it up all over your binky.
Baby 1: Damn this foul disease!
Baby 2: Whoops. I just pooped my pants.
(Video via TheDailyWhat.)
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I don’t know, Gabe. Sounds to me more like they’re both VERY big into Dadaism.
Yelling incomprehensible nonsense without actually listening to the other person while shirtless, these kids pass the American citizenship test.
SLOW CLAP
You guys may not be able to understand their dialect, but let me tell you that their ideas for cap & trade laws are groundbreaking.
Tim Awwwwlenty.
Transcript courtesy of the Babyfish translator.
Wait….
Which one is Tyler Durden???
The imaginary one
Prime example of how living in NYC warps you: my first thought in watching that video was “Wow, look at the size of that kitchen. Oh, babies are talking.”
I know! Think of all the things you could prepare simultaneously with all that counter space!
Hey, FLW, I just saw this posted on Craigslist:
$1575 / 2br – ~AWESOME HUGE 1 BEDROOM +OFFICE~LARGE LIVING AREA+REMODELED KITCHEN~H/H INC.~YARD~ROOF~ TWO TALKING BABIES (Park Slope)
“It’s like Staring into an old mirror!”
i didn’t know c-span uploaded their programming to youtube
I’m worried about AMC’s new programming you guys.
It scared me a bit that, when I saw this, I also made a Benjamin Button joke on twitter. I mean I’m my own person, aren’t I? With an independent mind molded from my own personal experiences right? I’m still young and I should grow as a pop culture consumer, develop my own references and injokes.
I’m scared I’m being defined by our relationship and I think we should see other websites.
“I quit” (DS3M)
Gabe, do the job-seekers for baby monster know that they’re being taped during the interview process? I’m pretty sure you need to to disclose that.
Are they haggling? It’s funny to pretend they are haggling.
This is worse than LOST
Let me take this opportunity to reiterate that ultimately, Steve, you were right about LOST.
LOST was like dating a girl who had flaws, but was really phenomenal a lot of the time, caring and great in bed, and it seemed like if you stuck with her, the reward would just be incredible, then it turned out that she was lying, manipulative, crazy, and holy shit racist.
I think they are talking about what happened to the baby on the right’s sock. I bet there some kind of crazy playdate involved.
Well, “Racist Molasses” is probably going to be the best thing I hear today.
Twin #1: “And it will be a website where friends can catch up with each other. See what they’re doing. Upload photos and display relationship statuses.”
Twin #2: “Bully idea, brother! Now all we need to do is grow to college age, enroll at one of the nation’s finer institutes of learning, and enlist the help of a commoner to design the prototype. Nothing can go wrong!”
My sisters are twins and when they were growing up, they would talk in their sleep to each other.
Neat! Did they remember the conversations?
No, unfortunately.
Mans as a child:
These James O’Keefe videos just keep getting stranger and stranger.
As a father, all I can think about while watching this is that someone needs to put some clothes on those kids and MY GOD, THEY’RE BY THE STOVE.
The talk to the hand motions around the 0:56 mark are stellar.
Two Angry Babies
(No?)
Racist molasses = comedy gold.
This is what a real life “The Sims” Movie would look and sound like.
At approx 1:07 baby 2- socks pooped.
Why is there always one with a missing sock? It never fails to perplex me.
Didn’t you listen to what he said? He had to count past ten.
..and couldn’t get his diaper off.
I JUST MADE YOU THINK OF THAT BABY’S PENIS.
Is that like a grown-person’s arm?
Ew, gross, ack.. sorry
Clearly the one baby is taunting the other cause he has two socks. One sock baby doesn’t taunt easily, hence the laughing and the “talk to the hand” motions.
Is it creepy to say that I watched this naked?
I’ve got a baby the same age on my lap RIGHT NOW – my almost 14 month old niece – and she looked up at me while I was playing this and asked “dadadada?” to which I responded “dadadada.” And she looked back down at the video as if her question had been answered.
Makes almost TOO much sense.
Typical partisan hacks.
I like to believe that thousands of years ago, all of the sudden two babies (that evolved from apes, that evolved from lizzards that evolved from fish, that evolved from bacteria, that evolved from Adam and Eve) came across each other and this is the first conversation ever.
TATATATATATATA?
TATATATATATAT!!!
Where should we sleep tonight, its cold and we are hairless?Plus I think we are hungry!
We shall create…HUMANITY!!!
That was nothing short of an absolute pleasure to watch!
I know this has already been mentioned, but RACIST MOLASSES!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TICK!!!!
I don’t understand what this clip from Meet the Press has to do with anything.
“Du bist mein Doppleganger!”
“Nein, du bist mein doppleganger!”
I say they’re plotting on how to get the rocky road out of the freezer, who gets to eat it first and how they’ll cover it up.