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Hey, you guys! Videogum is HIRING! Kind of. I mean, we are, but, like, let’s all settle down and keep things in perspective. Basically, we are looking for a (very) junior editor to come on board. This person will be responsible for a lot of behind the scenes work, like, finding funny videos, and managing Videogumblr and Facebook, but also doing some writing on the site, and in general helping to shape Videogum and take it to the NEXT LEVEL. Streets ahead, etc. Is that someone you? (Haha. What a terrible come-on! But seriously, IS THAT SOMEONE YOU?) Oh, and here is a thing for you to know:
THIS IS NOT AN INTERNSHIP. THE POSITION WILL BE PAID!
#swag. Anyway, like I said, this will be a JUNIOR position for a TINY BABY PROBABLY (although we would certainly welcome resumes from the Andrew Sullivans and Xeni Jardins of the world, we just know how disappointment works) but it is a very cool opportunity for someone who wants to get a lot of Internet Experience (whatever that even means) working for the best website in the world, Videogum. Sorry, I know that humility is a virtue or whatever, but it’s just true. Videogum is the best. But you can come help make it even better! Interested parties should send their resume (no attachments) to jobs@videogum.com. This job is based in New York. We probably should have posted this listing on monster.com instead. Get it? You get it. (Getting it preferred.)
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Can I get paid in upvotes?
Can I get paid in jorts?
Principal Enchman was Kevin Smith THE WHOLE TIME.
I think it should be Son of Gabe, labor laws permitting.
Also, I nominate Chet Haze. Duh.
I nominate Amelia.
This made me do a double take, as that is my actual name, and I was like OMG, YES!
I know we’re all kidding, but where is ThisIsMyNightmare? Because actually nominating her here. (That’s how job postings work, right?)
Or Napoleon Complex who is, I think, an actual child?
Nap-Com is even NYC-adjacent! I second that nomination.
as ThisIsMyNightmare’s real life bestie (awwww) I second this nomination. Then i can take cool fun trips to New York and say things like, “You know thisismynightmare? Yeah, shes kind of a big deal.”
Plus, i’m sure she wouldn’t mind having some of her “i’d hit that”s in one central location. Not that i even know if they live in New York for sure, but they sure as hell don’t live in Louisiana.
Hahaha
NO.
Here you go:
my daddy taught me everything he knows
Huckabeast is your dad?
sorry wert, didn’t mean to re-use that picture in another thread.
that means at least 3 of us googled “baby monster” today
Hahaha. Great minds, etc.
Will they disappear into the sewers like intern Lauren? I’m not ready for the sewers
Better than growing up to be Kirsten Dunst.
I’ve already got “Baby” right in the name, so…
Just kidding, I nominate Lawblog.
Second that! Lawblog would take this site to another level.
This jobs based in NEW YORK CITY?!?
Get a rope.
NEW YORK CITY?!?!??! – Pace Picante Cowboys
RIP
Let me be the glue that holds this organization together!
That’s ageist!
And thus, a new category is added to the EGOT.
There isn’t a single video match for “C.R.E.A.M. Internet 1.0″? Color me surprised, Bing.
Alternate adress: jail?
Is this going to be like the time you got an “intern”? how can we trust you?
Baby Editor, whomever you may be, I hereby pledge my sword.
And my bow!
And my axe!
(Left it on the tee and no one hit it out of the park. Someone had to do it.)
I am kicking myself for not getting here in time.
Alright, so here’s my idea. I propose a position at Videogum, where I read the articles posted every day and comment continuously throughout. I will talk up Videogum, and talk about happens between other Monsters with my friends (even though they don’t know anyone and it makes no sense to them). I will share Videogum articles on Facebook and Twitter. I can do this position from home. Salary requirements: I think i would come pretty cheep at $100,000/yr. Please, contact me at your earliest convenience as to get me started right away!
Sorry to undercut you, DirtySpaceNews, but Gabe, I will do everything he just said and I will do it for only $99,000/yr.
Please check this box: [ ] HIRED
I’m from Toronto! That’s kind of like New York! Right? (Okay, it’s more kind of like Chicago, but you get the idea.)
Seriously, if there’s a way to make this work distance-wise I will totally apply.
The distance isn’t a problem, but unfortunately, the salary cannot be paid in loonies and toonies. Not for legal reasons, just that all the people involved find it ridiculous that such a silly currency system exists.
It’s like New York, except without all of the stuff.
I prefer to think of it as New York’s adorable little sister.
The Myrtle Urkel to New Yor’s Steve?
New Yorst Eve?
Knew your Steve
Stu Borscht Beans?
It’s Nice York.
Upvotes forever.
Le same! Bluestockings why don’t we ever have monster mashes in real life?
Let’s make this happen.
I facebook found you due to my cyberpunk skillz. We also have friends in common.
Wait, I want to be a part of a monster mash too! T.dot. Monsters in the hiz-ouse. Isn’t Rob Ford the worst? #intheknow
I’ve been seeing quite a few posts from this dog on twitter lately, and I’m serious, I think she may have what it takes. #birdieforbaby.
Behind every great blogger is a surprised Shiba Inu.
I like how Gabe wears a tie to his cyberjob, but doesn’t bother to tighten it.
Gabe’s a firm believer in dressing professional to feel professional, but he’s one of those guys who wears Chucks with his three piece suit to work. He’s eccentric! But serious.
Keep in mind that Baby Monsters are the blogosphere equivalent of Spinal Tap drummers.
So according to the picture, I’ll probably be taller than you in about two or three years?
And I’d like to see a picture of your intern (alive) just so I know you’re not feeding staff to Steve Winwood in the basement.
Yawn. Call me when Goop is hiring, instead. At least that job is based in a castle.
up-vote forever!
I live in New York already! Plus it’ll be really easy for me to find crazy internet videos, since I’m basically a computer anyway.
Bonus points if you wear tennis shoes.
Do I ever!
I know someone who is PERFECT. They’re funny, they know the voice of the site and they have a lot of experience in the field.
Right? But I think you mean:
I KNOW someone who is PERFECT. They’re FUNNY. They know the VOICE of the SITE and they have a lot of EXPERIENCE in the FIELD.
Becca for President!
If I had a resume I would totally send it.
List of accomplishments:
1. Making it to the monster’s ball ONCE.
2. Getting RT’d by Werttrew
3. Graduating high school
You’re HIRED!
Man, if I had known the competition was this fierce, I wouldn’t have sent in my link to girlphilosophersvideoresume.com
I would love to have this job, but I’m afraid that all the time I’ve spent on this site does not speak well for my productivity.
The only way to get a job in this industry is by posting rapey-sounding “auditions” on craigslist.
I believe Baby Monsters are our future
Teach them well with best new party games
Show them all the upvotes they possess inside
Give them an open thread to make it easier
Let the comments and GIFs remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for an EGOT
Monsters need a picture to caption
I never knew what was up with Topher Grace or
Who my boyfriend was or
That I, too, could be so lucky