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How are those ribs coming? Baste those ribs! (I’m pretending that we are at a barbecue and this is the song that is playing.) Who wants ribs?! (Thanks for the tip, Sean.)
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Sick.i.am
A picture of a flat earth on the wall huh? Shocking.
Cleverest of girls.
This made me want to puke. Sorry. No jokes here.
Oh wait, I thought of a joke. The boy would have put on robot hair if he believed in science, but he doesn’t.
Is this better than the Black Eyed Peas in terms of lyrics? ☑
Is this better than the Black Eyed Peas in terms of talent? ☑
Is this better than the Black Eyed Peas in terms of charisma? ☑
Is this better than the Black Eyed Peas in terms of enjoyability? ☑
Is this a substantial improvement over the Black Eyed Peas in every way? ☑
5/5, kids.
One note: Technically, guys, you can’t be both a pagan and an atheist.
Low bar, though.
I’ve always thought of intelligent design as an attempted compromise.
Nope. It’s rebranded creationism masquerading as science. But the tunes are sweeeet!
Spring jams?! Where I am right now, it’s minus 35 degrees, and I’m under two feet of snow. Go to bed Gabe.
“How are those ribs coming? Baste those ribs!” -Gabe
Classic Adam and Eve joke!
Oh, I get it now!
That’s your album cover
Oh man, Tween Jesus is totally the newest addition to Adult Swim. Savin’ souls and collecting silly bandz. TWEENS!
I felt like they were singing to ME! Legends in the making right here people, legends.
“You don’t need evolution
It’s just not the solution
Nothing could be finer
then intelligent design-ah.”
Never before has something so stupid sounded so adorable.
Don’t Cha Wish Your Savior Was Right Like Mine?
Barf
I had to listen to it twice before I realized they weren’t singing, “My face. My face, my face, my face. My righteous, holy face.”
In other news, that was not supposed to be a reply. Please find actual reply below:
I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a God night,
That tonight’s gonna be a God night,
That tonight’s gonna be a God, God night
Thank you.
Mazel Tov!
Religious Top 40 #BNPG
The Only Savior In The World
Born This Yahwey
“In the Church of the Poisoned Mind”
Yes, I know the game is to change a word or two. I’m not gonna. Fits too well.
A Deity in the Life
Like a Prayer
I went to a Christian high school. We had a unit in one class on the dangers of secular music and were introduced to Christian alternatives (read: blatant ripoffs of popular songs). We watched in its entirety the video for a song called “Let’s Get Biblical”, which was pretty much the “Pagan Atheists” of “Let’s Get Physical”.
This was 1998.
Never Say Never… to Life
Wiccan Work It Out
I think that these guys are fighting the good fight against oxymorons.
Oh my god this was so cute and stupid. I seriously want to hug both of these children for being adorable.
Seriously I’m only 18 but I’m sure that I would’ve TOTALLY made a video like this as a kid and now I’m a big lazy agnostic! Kids ain’t know nothing! They’ll figure it out! Especially the boy; those dance moves were too fresh for Jesus.
I know it’s not generally ok to call kids assholes, but we might as well get a head start with these two. They are clearly being trained by the finest asshole senseis this side of Cobra Kai.
Rap music!
Pagan Atheists? What about those damn Catholic Jews?
What about the Christian Scientists?
air humping for jesus
Tween Jesus & Me required reading.
lol the fuck? i thought the only way to win their hearts and minds is through violent hatred?
I wish I was their dad.
Am I the only one that thinks rap music is best when read off a sheet music stand?
Especially if the lyrics involve shooting it out with pigs (cops).
so, everyone else heard the black eyed peas? i heard the hook to “my neck, my back”. and i think i need to go to jail.
Little girl, PUT A BRA ON! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THAT SLUT MARY MAGDALENE!
Gabe, I’ll have a bratwurst and two eternal hellfires, please!
How did they both steal ALL of my dance moves?!?
I knew there was a reason Safety Dance was stuck in my head this morning. It was protecting me. From this.
God bless you, Safety Dance.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
But wait, it actually is fake. The URL at the bottom of the video (Manka Bros.) is a known parody. Still, awesome.
If there is a God, he will give these kids a drug problem or make them gay or something. Because that’s what he does.
That’s what She does, alright.
That is what Bob does.
Oh (hell) no.
A visit to their website reveals the entire thing is just one huge and elaborate joke. It’s like something Andy Kaufmann would’ve done if he’d had the internet.
the hunt for the best horror movie of all time
Sorry to get all super-serial but this breaks my heart.