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Videogum reader Yael sent in a Craigslist ad posted by TLC looking to cast people on the second season of its nightmare show, My Strange Addiction. If you haven’t watched it, My Strange Addiction is a show about people who COMPULSIVELY EAT TOILET PAPER, for example. Although, the one time I actually DVR’ed the show was because the episode description promised to depict the sordid story of a woman who was ADDICTED TO VENTRILOQUISM, which I guess it did, but I found the whole thing to be kind of boring. Admittedly, she was spending thousands of dollars that she did not have every month on DOLL CLOTHING, but still. There weren’t any fireworks! And you cannot overdose on puppets so there wasn’t even a chance of seeing a live, televised death. Snore. Hey, here’s a fun fact: the letters TLC used to stand for “The Learning Channel.” Neat!
Anyway, their latest Craigslist casting call is looking for people to be on the show who suffer from being a “never nude.” Uh, wait a second. Wait. You mean, like, the thing that David Cross’s character Tobias Funke was on Arrested Development (2003-2006)? Because, uh, THAT IS NOT A THING. Full casting call for “never nudes” posted after the jump:
I mean, I am sure that there are people who refuse to get naked in public. Obviously. There are people who COMPULSIVELY EAT TOILET PAPER. We come in all shapes and sizes and some of those shapes and sizes are tucked snugly into a pair of denim shorts at all times. But you can’t just throw the term “never nude,” a recurring joke from a short-lived and relatively “fringe” sitcom, around like you just got back from an edit session on the new edition of the DSMIV. This is a craigslist casting call for a garbage reality show! Take it seriously!
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Videogum Everywhere opportunity. Inquire within.
I’m certainly doing some internal searching right now.
Yeah like the guy in the $4000 suit is going to go on a TLC Reality Show, oh come on
Agreed, Dad will be crushed… literally.
Meanwhile, as part of their “The Sea Strikes Back” series, Animal Planet is sending out a casting call for people who’ve had their hands bitten off by a loose seal.
What’s that you say?
I would say I probably wear clothes 23.5 hours a day/7 days a week. Is that close enough to count?
FINALLY! I have an outlet to expose my problems to the world. I have been wearing a sock on the little toe of my left foot since I was 8. When it wears out, I change it with my eyes closed. I haven’t seen that toe in 18 years.
Meanwhile, nowhere to sign up for this gentleman who is addicted to running banana stands…
…I’ll never understand? That you can never be nude?
I understand more than you’ll… never know.
Wait, was the ventriloquist episode about Gob and Franklin?
What about “always nudes”? When do we get a show? And when will they stop putting me in jail?? It’s a condition!
There was a True Life where the dude had nudist parents
Dave Attell: Whoa, this guy’s straight?
[holds up a pair of Tobias' cut-offs]
Dave Attell: Then, what am I wearing these for?
A casting pool of literally dozens.
Also, if you’re one of those, you know, “alpecas,” or whatever, the Hair Club for Men would like to speak to you about a lucrative endorsement deal.
I mean, you gotta poop sometime. AMIRITE?!
Then they put a shirt on, a-no-doy! Maybe even a scarf.
You take your pants all the way off to poop?
TLC misses Arrested Development too. I don’t blame them.
Monster public service announcement:
This http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2011/feb/12/arrested-development-mitch-hurwitz-sitcom-cancelled is an amazing article.
I miss that show. And Running Wylde.
I’m looking forward to seeing TLC cover other fictional maladies, like “High Midichlorian Count” or “Addiction to the Spice Melange”
I am addicted to getting a stew going.
It affects dozens of people. DOZENS!!!!
I hope we get one of the members from German parliament.
The Learning Channel? News to me…I thought it was all about Tender Loving Care on TLC.
T-Boz, Left Eye & Chilli Network?
NEVER FORGET .
Also, searching for this image taught me an important lesson. And then a one-armed man popped out from behind my monitor and said, “And THAT’s why you don’t Google-image-search dead celebrities!”
no no no no no!!! I knew it was going to be bad but I did it anyway. ACK!
I should only hope that the theme song for this particular episode would be J.O.R.T.S.
For consideration, please fill a bag with some glitter, your photo resume, some candy, and a note.
Never nude isn’t as bad as the rare “der immer nackter Menschen” (always nudes). I wish my grandma would where some cutoff jorts. Ugh.
I hope TLC has a certified analrapist on hand to help these people deal with their strange addictions.
Man, I really blue my chance at getting on TLC. I’ve made a huge mistake…
Could I BE wearing anymore clothes? – Joey Tribbiani
I’m looking forward to their medical series about TBA
It’ll be better than their medical series “Graft vs Host”.
In a related story, Bravo is looking for America’s Next Mr. Banana Grabber
MLIAD
Dear TLC,
I am huge fan of you and I just have to ask, where do you get your ideas?
Sincerely,
Nikker.
Why don’t they just go to the convention?
I once dated a girl who ate mud/dirt, but she was hot, so it was cool because I felt like I could save her from her mental problems.
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I don’t think it’s possible for me to disagree with a statement more than I disagree with this.
I don’t know whether to congratulate you or type furiously at you.
I signed in solely to downvote you, sir.
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I think we can all guess what this man thinks of this:
YOU’RE not funny the second time you watch you.
Hey, kids! Going for your EGOT? Insult Arrested Development! Try it for free, today!
Oddly enough, THIS comment was funny the second time I read it.
What I DO find interesting about this is trying to figure out what might qualify as successful comedy for you.
At what point does TLC (The LEARNING Channel) have to change its !$@*!#% name due to the “This Is The Opposite Of Learning” shows it runs???? Say yes to the dress, What not to wear, Jon & Kate plus 8, 19 Kids and counting, I didn’t know I was pregnant, Babies behind bars, Hoarding shows, Outrageous kid parties
It has changed its name. It isn’t The Learning Channel, just TLC. See also, KFC.
Next you’re going to tell me that KKK doesn’t mean anything to you.
I heard they were going to change the name to “The Let’s Gawk at Freaks Channel” (TLGFC), but they didn’t want to seem insensitive and exploitative.
“The Boy with an Arse For a Face”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9al-mpqXjc
So they’re just 3 random letters now, it doesn’t stand for anything anymore?
(In best Emily Litella voice:) “Oh, that’s very different… Never mind”
Eeeeh! Videogum referenced the DSM-IV! *swoon*
Has no one seen this TLC promo before?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8jeuYMHX9Y
Their line-up is very educational. Better than 10 school classes put together at once.
I don’t understand the Craigslist posting, and I won’t respond to it.
That’s because you get off on being witholding.