Photos
Here we go. Someone has clearly been very good in the eyes of the Internet Gods lately, how else to explain why we are being showered with all of these GIFTS?! You know, we have a lot of fun with Paula Deen, but no one has as much fun with Paula Deen as Paula Deen does. I don’t wish Paula Deen was my mom because I’ve already got a supergood mom who is just killing it in the mom department, but if that were not the case, Paula Deen would be the first woman on my Women To Casually Joke That I Wish They Were My Mom But Sometimes It Is Hard To Tell If It Is A Joke Or Not List. She just knows how to live life. You grab life by the balls with one hand, get yourself a full glass of wine with the other, and then you ride that motherfucker. YOU RIDE IT UNTIL YOU DIE AND YOUR EYES TURN TO BUTTER CUBES.
Meanwhile, this photo has already become a meme (DUH WINNING) and what a meme it is! Very good meme. This one is probably my favorite. So, this week you have FOUR options (if you trolls can even process that, buh bye): you can caption Paula Deen, you can caption Paula Deen’s noble steed, you can caption Paula Deen’s wineglass, or you can create a charming Photoshop of Paula Deen riding things in the spirit of the Paula Deen Riding Things meme, which I’m sure is already dead (2011-2011). Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Runner-Up will carry them there on their back. (Image via GoodGrief.Thanks for the tip, cakeordeath.)
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I just posted this 5 minutes to early in another thread. Not my gif but it’s awesome:
I laughed so hard at this, i shot butter out of my nose.
I just want everyone who may or may not read this to know they’re about to scroll down through one of the best collection of GIFs ever on Videogum. Dear god, long live this Paula Deen moment, and god bless these amazingly creative Monsters. I could cry.
Enjoy
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And then the internet folded in on itself and everything went pitch black.
I feel like if she’s the devil on his shoulder, Sad Keanu would be the angel. And clearly, fried food is winning over a melancholy sandwich.
I’m late to the game, but I’m pretty happy with what I’ve created:
I can’t believe it’s not butter
“It’s a living.” – This Guy
“It’s not a DUI if it’s not a car.” -Paula Deen
Well, it worked for Dusky Panther.
All you really needed to do was replace all their heads with these.
This one’s mine:
In today’s world of stunt filmmaking, a simple sequel to Weekend at Bernie’s wasn’t good enough. They had to make it a documentary; Paula Deen’s been dead for weeks.
That’s not wine in her glass. That’s a 1965 vintage, “Land O’ Lakes Dark,” from her private collection.
What a weird looking horse.
That’s not a nice thing to say about Paula Deen.
What a weird looking birth.
“I remember the days when I used to be on display at a department store and not abused like a Charlie Sheen porn star.” -Paula Deen’s wineglass
Rebuttal?
Yes please I’ll take two.
Thus we see the consequences of only making one portion.
This is what 2012 will be like! Charlie Sheen And The Four Horseman Of The Porkpocalypse!
Look at her riding that heavenly ham.
Paula Deen was hit in the face with ham, everyone.
“TAKE ME TO THE DEEP FRYER! MUSH!”
Usually the mare is the one that is ridden. Not the other way around.
I have the weirdest butter right now.
I can fit the hole stick in my mouth.
“Hole stick” makes butter weirder.
She can’t believe it’s not butter.
Paula Deen is totally a butterface. By that I mean she always has butter on her face.
I don’t know how best to convey the William Tell Overture in farts in a blog comment, but if I could that would be my caption.
Brapbrapbrap Brapbrapbrap BrapBrap Brap Brap Pbft
Brapbrapbrap Brapbrapbrap BrapBrap Brap Pbft Thbt
Brapbrapbrap Brapbrapbrap BrapBrap Brap Brap Pbft
BrapBrapBraaaaaaaaap BrapBrap Thbt Pbft Thbt.
Now for the 1812 Overture:
Brap-brap-brap-brapbrap-brap-brap. Brap. Brap. Brap. BRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAP!
Brap-brap-brap-brapbrap-brap-brap. Brap. Brap. Brap. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRT!
Boner: Impossible
debunked!
Pop quiz: Which amount will be greater: the number of Charlie Sheen interviews that we will see this week, or the number of “butter” jokes that will be made in this thread. WHO YA GOT?!
Anyone else hoping Paula Deen is one of the Goddesses Sheen is referring too?
Pop pop quiz: Magnitude
Paula Deen always carries a briefcase full of butter.
This is that briefcase:
Beefcase (sorry)
And if he married her, thus elevating her from princess to monarch, she’d be known as…
“Queen Deen Sheen.”
Well, I screwed up that reply. It’s almost as if my hands were coated with warm butt… oh, forget it.
excellent wish-family photo, Gabe.
Oh no!
I’d melt her in a pan for 15-30 seconds before browning my meat, if you know what I mean.
Please don’t know what I mean.
You do Edmonton proud.
City of Champions indeed.
City of Holding-Onto-80s-Glories
Paula Deen and a friend demonstrate how an F-18 deploys its ground ordinance. Buhbye.
Please, don’t call the boner police.
More like please don’t call the BUTTER police.
Man, Doc Brown looks wasted.
“She has the weirdest face.” – My Boyfriend, VG commenter, Marcus.
this is making me think of that part in total recall where arnold is wearing the giant woman mask and it breaks and he/she can’t stop saying ‘two weeks’
no joke there, just saying that.
Godsauce Alters The Family Circus
The dude she is riding’s show is called Dinner Impossible. More like MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: CARRYING PAULA DEEN, if you catch my drift.
“Gimmie your sweet cream butter!”
I’ve been trying to stop with all the Van Der Beek gifs, but this was too perfect to resist making.
Ride it! yeah!
This is too good.
It’s gifs like this that make me proud to be a monster.
I immediately regret my decision to make this.
I see your bet and raise you one ouroboros.
Human Paul-a-Deede
HOLY SHIT. PAULA-CEPTION.
I fear that this man doesn’t know he’s about to be cooked and eaten.
I admit this is lazy. But I like it.
Pretty great, actually.
Oh, Jackie, old boy.
I even read that in Paula Deen’s beautiful Savannah accent. UPVOTES.
Or, How I Learned to Stop Using Olive Oil and Love Butter.
Paula’s meat tenderizing technique was controversial at best.
I think it would be fun to see a gif of Robert Pattinson staring out the skyscraper window from Remember Me and then Paula Deen riding through the sky toward him, probably on a pterodactyl. But I don’t know how to do that.
umm… hi. i apparently will do whatever the monsters want.
You’re a much better monster than I. Thank you! And I think you just fixed the movie, by the way.
that’s the first animated gif i’ve made that involved photoshopping. i feel drunk with power. and wine.
with the right power/ wine combination, you could probably do anything
“please just spill me an end it all” – the wine in the wineglass.
d*
Nailed it.
As you can tell by her noble steed’s smile, Paula Deen has finally perfected the butterstick strapon.
OK, here it is!
Who the fuck is Paula Deen.
she’s the white haired guy
… wow, that’s Robert Irvine being the MIGHTY STEED, isn’t it? The Dinner: Impossible guy?
So, so late in the game:
This one is my favorite! http://galacdavis.tumblr.com/post/3587100602/tigers
Steed: “I get knocked down, but I get up again”
HOLY FUCK. PAULA-CEPTION.
Damnit, this comment was supposed to be somewhere else.