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YAY! WE DID IT! We survived another year. Tonight’s Oscars are hard-earned, right, you guys? The BP Oil Spill? Egypt? As Amistad said, we are doing cheerleading human pyramids on the shoulders of all of our ancestors in order to prepare for this stupid award ceremony hosted by James Franco and Ricky Gervais the girl from Love and Other Drugs. (I think my favorite part about that joke is that it is culturally sensitive, and tonally appropriate.) You know what, though? Now that the Golden Globes are kind of a thing, and also so many other garbage award shows (Spike Something?), I think we can all admit that the Oscars kind of DO feel like they’re more important than they used to be, even though they also are very much not important at all, because at the very least they don’t give out Moon Mans. SO: let’s watch the Oscars together! A Videogum Tradition! Follow us on Twitter here and here (and here). Leave your comments in the comments. LET’S GET READY TO OSCARRSSSSSSSS!
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Following the precedent set by the presidential elections, I will be watching my Oscar coverage on BET. OH WAIT, NO BLACK PEOPLE WERE NOMINATED FOR ANYTHING.
I hope all the best movie people win all of the most movie trophies.
This whole movie award thing isn’t on British television and the stream I have is terrible and I am supposed to be at work in 7 hours.
So, I am relying on you lot to let me know what is truly going on/gone on/about to go on.
Thank you and many awards to all of you in advance…
And stolen for your viewing pleasure from one third of Derrick Comedys @DCpierson twitter feed is his #StudentFilmOscars.
“Whoa, total upset in the category of Special Achievement In Using Footage From Your Semester In Prague.”
In Britain the awards are called lorries.
In Britain, overused jokes are called lorries
It’s the circle of life.
How am I supposed to keep up with this and chat? How do I choose?!
I choose LIFE! And by that, I mean I choose this thread.
Yes, it is 1am in England. Yes I intend on staying up for the entire show so that I can make whimsical, sarcastic comments about the meaninglessness of the glorified back-slapping parade, whilst trying desperately to overlook the inherent irony of posting meaningless comments about meaningless events.
And for that, we salute you, good sir.
You, my good sir, are a far braver man than I.
I doff my top hat and swizzle my cane to you, as I may have to be off up the apples and pears to Uncle Ted.
My IRL friends are pouting in the corner and feeling neglected. I love being Internet-popular.
I love this comment. UPVOTES! MONSTERS BALL!
You guys, I am worried about Natalie Portman. She’s seems high…or she could just be preggers. WHATEVIES!
She’s stoned on baby.
JAMES FRANCO GET IN MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“James Franco GTFO of my class” – That guy
Almost time, you guys, let’s loosen up
TONIGHT, WE ARE ALL THISTLE SIFTERS!
For real, though, Colin Firth is always the best.
I’m rooting for every human to lose and every Toy Story related anyone to win.
True story. Get it together, Academy
James Franco goes to college.
Hate to say it, but I think Franco has assume George Clooney’s smug cloud.
Colin Firth I LOVE YOU! I want him to have my babies.
Aw yeah, movie nerd Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl is my Super Bowl, but this is also my Super Bowl.
Where’s Banksy at?!
He was Geoffrey Rush all along.
Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman = Motherfucking hipsters.
It’s Gwennie! Hi, Gwennie!
Timm Gunn just said Gwyneth Paltrow is a fashion icon. OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is Batman talking like a lorry?
And what is that crap all over his face?
Because he wants me to do him, and do him right.
ScarJo, did you roll out of bed in that shit? I mean, look at Anne Hathaway! Look at Mila Kunis!
i wish gwyneth would do a duet with Jay Z. that would be nice
Well she IS his biggest fan…
Why does it smell like pee now?
I saw Social Network today, and it was okay? But I liked other movies better this year? Am I too old or too young?
Weird. I saw Social Network today and thought it was okay. It’s like…it’s like we are of one mind.
Thank goodness you have two computers, though.
Monster’s Ball shoutout
Is Halle Berry pissed off? She seems pissed off.
I figured it out! She’s pissed off because her Vgum account is Steve Winwood, and she lost at Monsters’ Ball!
Hanks is looking pretty good! Fit.
I hope he pranks us by giving the award to Mark Ruffalo
What a prankster! These aren’t the Oscars at all, that’s Hanks’s living room!
Gwyneth Paltrow is turning into Donatella Versace.
Gwyneth Paltrow = prostitute robot from the future.
It’s science.
OMG! OMG! OMG! IT’S STARTING! OMG!
ATTN ladies, anyone disappointed by the dresses thus far? #fashiongum
I was not a fan of ScarJo’s–see above. A lot of them are cute–the True Grit girl looks like a princess!
I know, Hailee Steinfeld looks amazing, I hope she wins! My favorites thus far are Jenifer Hudson, Michelle Williams, and Cate Blanchett.
Hailee Steinfeld has been KILLING IT in the fashion department for all these award shows. Pretty but age appropriate!
Jennifer Hudson looked GORGEOUS.
My favourite was Cate Blanchett because I like a girl who takes a bit of a risk. The rest of the dresses have been a bit of a snooze fest.
What is this? The MTV movie awards?
Wasn’t this junt supposed to start at 8? What is this nonsense, ACADEMY.
James Franco and Alec Baldwin are KILLING ME.
Halle Berry & Hugh Jackman: X-BROS FOR LIFE.
Anne Hathway is the prettiest, prettiest princess.
James Franco takes a break from teaching a class about himself to host an award show about himself.
Best Oscars ever already? Yes.
(ok. i don’t know what monster made this (they posted it in chat) but #1 I love them. and #2 i feel like it sums up my oscar experience for THE NIGHT!)
Also: Bitch was robbed!
(not really. no one cares.)
The opening was good. It would have been perfect if they mixed in some comedy.
HEY! Guys! The Oscars are SUPER BORING ALREADY! I’m out. OUT!
Look, it’s Chet Haze’s dad, y’all! Why is he presenting? Has he ever done ANYTHING?
ANNE HATHAWAY PRETTY HAIR PRETTY SHINY SHINY HAIR
Harry Potter FTW!!!
That shoulda been Harry Potter! Fuck this show!!!
Pfister? Hardly knew her…?
Fister needs to go fist himself. Glasses on head? Boo. “You’re taking up my time.”? Boo.
I know! There was a collective cry of “What a dick!” in my lounge twice. What a dick.
Total dick.
I would just like you guys to remember that I am riding on werttrew’s coattails for oscar picks tonight, if he wins I expect a 7% share of the giftcard.
Shouldn’t you be in bed?
Yes. But Dad fell asleep, and once he’s out there’s no waking him up
Are we all fighting urges to not be insensitive right now?
I really wish Audrey Hepburn was still alive. She was great.
Kirk Douglas is bringing it. CONSIDER IT BROUGHT!
….very, very slowly and full of …mumbles.
This dude is still awesome.
Kirk Douglas reminds me of my grandad after he had his stroke, so DON’T SAY ANYTHING SHITTY.
Doing what old people do best. Guilt trip!
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
The kirkster!
Stop it Melissa Leo, I just ate,
Nice brisk pace Kirk and Melissa set up for the rest of the show.
Banksy jokes, hip is right!
Did I miss a Banksy joke?
DR. SPACEMAN!!!
It wasn’t REALLY a joke…but it was maybe trying to be?
I have a feeling that’s the tone of this year’s Oscars.
What the hell is going on with this show?
Did everyone in the theatre get high before the show.
“Here’s some cocaine and remember to be as awkward as possible when presenting.”
we got it from Charlie Sheen’s briefcase
WINNING
No, but they did take reverse speech therapy classes.
I stopped watching Twin Peaks for this?
Seriously though, what is wrong with Justin Timberlake?
Is Twin Peaks on? See ya, Oscars.
On my DVD player. Wanna come over? Do you live in New Mexico?
I was hoping to sound funny but I think I came off creepy….
Florida.
Hooray for awkward threads!
That is how you do a fucking acceptance speech. Toy Story, still best at EVERYTHING.
Not enough God thanking.
I would have preferred “See, you don’t have to ruin kids movies with dance numbers to modern covers of disco songs. Suck it Dreamworks!”
welp, there goes my lifelong childhood dreams of winning a $50 amazon gift card.
Hi Penelope Cruz
White suits?
No.
Why were they matching?
Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin are this generation’s Martin and Lewis.
Seriously, they should do an incredibly dour and miserable buddy flick together.
Possible title: ‘Double J&B’.
Possible sequel if they move in together and have squabbles: ‘Double J&B: On The Rocks’.
That muzak version of the Nine Inch Nails Social Network soundtrack was pretty hilarious.
Are these supposed to be the hip oscars? If so, you can get me my Al Jolson records and my Jimmy stewart films because I’m through being young.
Aaron Sorkin doesnt even care that this happened to him. Jesse Eisenberg is bemused. Harvard still stands. Andrew Garfield just spider jizzed.
Mike Leighhhhhhhh
What exactly is he trying to eat here?
This deserved far more upvotes. Just sayin’.
Australia has won an Oscar!!! Best animated short!
Stop looking at us and wondering how we got here fools and trolls. You can’t understand it, so just enjoy the ride.
I’m on fire now, Pfister did it to me but I’m back in it.
TWSS?
Aaron Sorkin: how it’s done.
Kanye hates stutters
Man i can’t wait for John Hawkes to win that oscar in my dreams.
But what if somebody incepts it?
http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
Helen Mirren is so sassy, love it
After this Oscars perfornance, I dunno if I’ll ever be able to look at Anne Hathaway’s nude scenes the same way again.
I’m still not over the fact that they remade ‘Arthur’ with Russell Brand.
Indeed. That movie was awesome as it was. Leave Dudley Moore alone!
Is this the thread where I admit that I’ve decided to learn how to make animated gifs rather than watch an awards ceremony for movies I’ve never seen?
I thought so.
You’re my hero. That gif is worth missing all the awards.
Thanks! There’s no time for TV in the gif shop!
You, sir or madam, are appreciated.
I stopped caring about the Best Supporting Actor category after Mickey Rooney got robbed for Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
Did your grandfather see that movie in your great-grandmother’s womb?
Actually my great-grandmother was Audrey Hepburn so my grandfather was miscarried.
BLOODY HELL LORRY POP A BOB FISH AND CHIPS INNIT
better than any f-bomb
I’m confused. Did people just boo Christian Bale for trying help out a real person? Maybe it wasn’t a boo?
I was saying “Bale-urns.”
Upvotes forever, Topknot.
Oops, you just became the best.
This is totally necessary.
wait, is charlie sheen there?
wait, will the world be around in 2020?
HAHA STAR WARS AND STUFF
This is Matthew McConaughy’s only shirt
Ah I had no idea Trent Reznor was such a cutie! Swoooon
Scarlett Johansson is kinda not ugly.
some might say she’s pretty
She’s also kinda not stoned
Guys, this is really bad.
Are you kidding me? This is pretty exciting… I mean did you see that commercial for Castle? Looks hot and steamy!
Good year for lesbians.
GUYS! Who knew Unstoppable was nominated?!?
Seriously, you guys. Who the FUCK is Esperanza Spalding?
I think shes some kind of videogame
Did anyone else see the commercial where Celine Dion sang Happy Birthday to cancer? What a bitch!
Wouldn’t it be great if Arcade Fire won best picture?
wHo Is ThAt!?!?!?!?#A@A?!!!??!?
Lol eminiem gott robed?!?!?!!!!!!!65,?56;:46)4)5;3@89&8$$’bgyedwdtm
Also, Marissa Tomei looks fantastic.
Read faster!
This is dragging, it’s wine time.
There better be a moving tribute to Corey Haim performed by Corey Feldman filled with Michael Jackson inspired dance moves.
Or else we are DONE, Oscars.
I was told there would be pizza. I haven’t seen any pizza so far.
When will there be pizza?
The invitation CLEARLY said BYOP… but here i ordered you a special pie:
Classic J&B.
I think every time someone goes too long with their thank you speech, they should play them off using Keyboard Cat.
Love the user name.
Why, thank you!