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Uhhhhh. What?
It goes without saying that that is also your dinner party. “Is everyone done with their potatoes? Let’s move this into the living room and strip to a videogame.” My favorite thing about this game besides nothing because I hate it is how unsexy the game itself is? Like, it’s just animated Playmobil dolls but with stripping? Oooh la la! MAKE ME FEEL GOOOOOD! I bet the sound effects are super sexy, too, right? Bleep bloop bleep blop bloop. Who are these people? “Now I want the two of you to kiss…this Wii controller. Slower. Slower. Slower! You’re fucking it up, we’re losing to Ron!” So fun. So disgusting. (Via @Glinner. Thank you also for the tip, Benjamin, Joshua, Mike, and bocboda.)
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Good job they rubbed their faces all over it BEFORE they stuck it down their pants!
ENTER PARENTAL CODE
B A R F
Looking at your avatar, I thought you’d be all over this game.
Stick a Wii controller up your bottom must be a bonus level.
World’s Greatest Wii-kout must happen.
My brain is too occupied trying to figure out the point of the actual game to generate a funny response.
Eyes Wii Shut?
Stripwiis
9 1/2 Wii’s.
Nine and a Half Wiis
Jinx, hammer
Yes, but you should get the credit because unlike me, you weren’t too lazy to type out “nine and a half”
Poison Iwii
Wiild Things
Body Wiit
Temptation Wiiland (or is it spelled Wiisland?)
The Unbearable Lightness of Wiiing
Cruel WiiNtentions
Dangerous Wiiaisons
said in the voice of Elmer Fudd
The Last Tango N64 Paris
Lucia Wii El Sexo
Wii Tu Mama, Tambien
CaWiigula
InWiicent Proposal
Brown Bunweii.
Brown Bunwii.
Fuck.
“Why don’t you kiss her instead of Wii’ing her to death!” – Old man in It’s A Wonderful Life (2012)
“what’s that?”
“I SAID WHY DON’T YOU KISS HER INSTEAD OF WII’ING HER TO DEATH!”
(zomg do i love that movie.)
This game is battle-tested bayonets, bro.
Oh no, you di’int!
This, kind sir/madam/both/plant, means war!
I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.
Sorry man, didn’t make the rules. Oops!
Well, it’s certainly no Leisure Suit Larry.
Nothing is anymore. Even modern Leisure Suit Larry is no Leisure Suit Larry.
#humblebrag
“This video game should be sexier!”
-Gabe Delahaye
“Kiss kiss kiss, hump hump hump.” – Gabe Delahaye
Gee, I hope the single-player campaign is just as solid.
Apply directly to the forehead.
Way to remind us at the end of the ad that the Wii’s chief userbase is young enough to require a parental code. Just a really sexy way to end a very sexy advertisement.
“Enjoy your game, son”
I’m sure at some point some poor grandma is going to describe a handsfree type consular videogame for her twelve year old grandson, one of those social networking games so he’s not playing all by himself, and is going to get recommended this game by a desperately bored gamestop employee who will snicker to themselves about this for an entire rainy afternoon.
I bet the movie adaptation of this will be great!
Mis en scene:
“Why eat one of these normal, dinner-party, fruit-basket apples when we can bite at a virtual, wiimote controled apple?”
How did I not notice?
I’m wondering who got the ONLY slice of cake.
I think I figured out who this game’s for.
At least there’s the option to have it ribbed for her pleasure.
(wow, that even grossed me out)
It’s Magic and Poetry at your fingertips…
EXACTLY.
WHAT IS DIS?? SOME KINDA VIDYA GAME KEY PARTY??
“Wii Party is the new Key Party!” – gross person.
I think UbiSoft’s the name of the game.
Wii Ice Storm.
I like the part where they were licking the plastic. That was way hot.
What about the part where the ladies were being “spanked” RIGHT ON THEIR SPINES! There is a reason it’s done on the fleshy part, Ubisoft.
If only I’d had a Wii when I was in high school. I would have gotten so much play.
I prefer the kinnect version. No controllers to get in the way.
My sexy friends and I usually play this game with Legos.
Emotionless robot laughter is the best kind of laughter.
My girlfriend never sexily shook out her hair of an up-do when I was playing any other Wii games until this came out. And that one weird time with Kirby’s Epic Yarn.
“This game should be fun for the kids.”
-Dad sorting through Gamestop’s bargain bin.
I started thinking about how when people sing on Rock Band, they rarely clap the claps; they tap the mic. That is, they aren’t super-immersed into the fantasy that they’re really doing the thing, but just want to score the most possible points. Then I imagined someone trying to rack up a really high score on this game by figuring out you can just tap the controller as it hangs in space, or slap it on your own thigh instead of spanking a real person, and that made me even sadder.
Also: being spanked with a hard plastic thing against your coccyx does not seem sexy to me. Ow.
But the claps are tambourines or cowbells! You’re SUPPOSED to tap the mic!
Did you know that some people are so poor, they try to play this game despite not actually owning any kind of videogame system at all? It’s very sad.
This may be the least sexy videogame ever.
Although I did not mind looking at those men. That was not so bad.
“I bet the sound effects are super sexy, too, right? Bleep bloop bleep blop bloop.”
Your point?
Didn’t Sega try this some time ago?
First off, everyone watch more IT Crowd. Secondly, this Ice Storm reboot looks lame.
everyone should be watching IT crowd always and forever.
It could at least warm us up with a dinner and movie level.
You know Ubisoft publishes a wide range of games. From Assassins Creed, which allows you to parkour through history stabbing folks with a wrist blade (which is actually more fun than it sounds); To Just Dance, which is the only ‘game’ I know of that allows you to attach that Wii-mote to your penis and do windmills for a perfect score (again, more fun than you might think).
Ubisoft also loves Tom Clancy. With their mouth.
there’s this game that I play with my nintendobox that’s called “I will never have a girlfriend”, I like it better than this game. Because I do not have a girlfriend.
The final boss is REGRET, which is unbeatable.
Ubisoft?
…TWSS?