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I like the twinkle in your eye, my young ninja. In fact, I have come to a decision. Riley, in 37 years’ time, you have my permission to date my daughter. I’m sure by that time you’ll have your billion-dollar-a-year mini-dinosaur cloning corporation running smoothly, and my Oscar-winning director/President of the United States/chastity belt enthusiast daughter will appreciate having a sweet, father-approved time with a fine young man such yourself at the ice cream parlor. Have fun.
One note:
A Jurassic Park soundtrack, Riley? A bit on the nose, my friend. A bit on the nose.
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Is this ice-cream parlour where your frozen brain will be stored?
37 years? I’d say you’re being quite ambitious there.
I’m sorry wert, I don’t mean to make light of your mortality.
That child has an amazingly great accent.
Given his accent, I kind of expected him to say something like “..and they died out because they weren’t allowed to go on Noah’s ark.”
…
Was this too much? I didn’t think it was too much, I was just making social commentary based on how it religious beliefs held by Southerners are percieved by me as a European. But if it is too much based on stereotypes I get it, I get pretty offended by Goldmember’s accent myself. But I just attendre to make ze joke about le social situation Like ze Jerry lee Lewis, oui? In Soviet Europe, joke makes you! Wa wa wee wa!
Screw it, I can’t save this situation. Time to get my drink on.
This young man has my accent when I am not trying to hide my accent.
Looks like you didn’t hide it well enough. Even a child was able to find it.
I love this joke to what I believe may be an unreasonable degree.
I said he has it when I am not trying to hide it. When I do hide it, not even I know where it is.
Paleontologist meets spoiled daddy’s girl? Sounds like we’ve already got the next generation’s Ross and Rachel!
Little boys who are science enthusiasts are my favorite people.
What about people who used to be little boys who were science enthusiasts?
Those are my second-favorite people.
The bloopers!!!! Oh be still my heart. I wish I could have a kid, skip all the baby stuff and go straight to the finding-bugs-in-the-yard part.
Tell it to your jail cell.
Oh, hush! No fair trying to take a genuine sentiment of adoring adorableness and making it all rapey.
There’s a clear separation between cute and rape, and I think you’re in the clear.
All’s fair in rape and rape-rape
My ovaries are very angry with me after watching this. “TOO CUTE!,” they yelled.
“By the way, thanks for the new ovaries, Jim Henson Creature Shop.”
Faith in humanity restored
The cool thing about this kid is everything.
Would this be a good time to admit that I sing dinosaur songs to pre-school kids with song titles like “You Used to be Pangaea (but now you’re in continents)”?
Yes it would: http://www.facebook.com/cretaceousquintet
It’s good that this is on Facebook, so I can LIKE it!
Dear Brian,
Marry me?
Consider it.
Love,
Superglue
Thanks, Superglue. I would totes do it, but my wife and three kids would be SO MAD!
It was worth a shot.
By the way, it took me this long to investigate what it is your bald eagle is carrying in his claws. THOSE AREN’T CLAWS!!!
I’m a balled eagle.
In 37 years, werttrew will need a prescription to address his incontinence.
The only way this could be any more awesome would be if MIss Hendricks was part of your quintet. Which would make it a sextet i believe, how (in)appropriate.
By the way, werttrew, I have a seven year old son who is looking forward to being either a paleontologist, archaeologist, astronomer or physicist. He’s still deciding. Oh, and he wrote a song called “Wooly Mammoths have Big Balls”. Let’s talk dowry.
It’s going to get awkward when he hits puberty and the only dinosaur he wants to talk about is Exorbatusaurus, which means “I’m working my way through medical school lizard.”
Please tell me you did not google image “dinosaur stripper pole .gif.”
…or Bing, for that matter (forgot this was Videogum).
Google? Haven’t you listened to a word Glenn Beck has said?
Altavista.
When I was the photo editor for my high school’s paper, the township had Google Images blocked, so I had to use Altavista all the time.
So last night when they mentioned it, I was like, “It’s stupid that this is nostalgic to me.”
Your daughter’s going to date this kid? Clever girl…
Fact: Pinacosaurus subsisted exclusively on rum, pineapple juice, and coconuts.
Riley the Paleontologist, it just doesn’t have a ring to it. We need something for the people. Something everyone can relate to. Like… i don’t know, what’s a common last name? Jones! That’s it, Jones. Alright, we need that in tandem with something unusual, but hip… man, this is tough… Where you from, kid? Indiana? Indiana Jones? I LOVE IT, get Lucas on the phone!
From Jeffrey Boam’s rewrite:
Professor Jimmy Chandler: Jimmy… Chandler… Junior.
Birdie Chandler: I like “Birdie.”
Professor Jimmy Chandler: We named the dog Birdie….
Treebeard: You were named after a dog? ::Belly Laugh::
“Riley won’t stop going on about the correct way to pronounce ‘diplodocus’ and every time I call dad for advice, he just keeps talking about videogum again and how there was never enough gifs.” — werttrew’s daughter in 40 years, with her girlfriends while buying space shoes or whatever the hell they wear in the future.
iShoes.
Hurray for outtakes! Look at ‘im! Gettin’ all tongue-tied and whatnot! ADORABLE!
If he as a nerdy little dinosaur enthusiast can someday get a girl like Werttrew’s daughter, then I have hope for my life still.
That’s your unborn daughter’s boyfriend.
cute kid. too bad John Williams is going to sue him.
My friend made a dinosaur song and music video. It’s pretty much the best. You should watch it. Actually, you should only watch dinosaur things today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsTSo6y9maI
Monsters and dinosaurs = best friends.
Gabe doesn’t post about dinosaurs nearly enough. Advantage werttrew.
I want to go back in time to when I was just a Gobblebaby who had dinosaur-themed birthday parties and sang a Stegosaurus song 24 hours a day, get her, and bring her back to now to be best friends with this boy.
How did they get footage of me at age 8, and why was I from the South? Parents got some s’plainin’ to do.
Adorable AND informative. It’s win-win! Good one, internet!
I hate kids that know more about dinosaurs than I do.