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In light of the recent news about Charlie Sheen (I am using the word “news” VERY liberally), our country’s leading newspaper, the Hollywood Reporter, conducted a survey of 700 Americans (#1!) between the ages of 13 and 59 to find out how they felt about the dead dying dangerously and offensively enabled by the entertainment industry beloved actor. The answers may surprise you!
- 26 percent actually view Sheen “much more” or “somewhat more” favorably after hearing recent news about him.
- 90 percent of “avid fans” don’t think drug and alcohol abuse problems matter as long as Sheen does a good job on the show.
- 56 percent think that a future episode of Two and a Half Men should address Charlie Sheen’s personal issues.
- 96 percent of Two and a Half Men viewers want Sheen to return to the show (only 4 percent want him to quit permanently).
- 82 percent of women say they will still watch Two and a Half Men despite Sheen’s personal problems compared to 76 percent of men.
- 59 percent of all viewers believe that Sheen isn’t acting on the show but actually just playing himself.
- 62 percent say media should leave him alone.
Haha. People are weird. Wait, “weird” and “super awful” mean the same thing, right? I’m definitely looking forward to the episode of the inoffensive, mediocre family sitcom that addresses an egomaniac’s self-destructive addiction to cocaine and prostitutes. It is also nice to know that 90 percent of the show’s “avid fans” do not give a fuck about their favorite show’s biggest star’s impending DEATH as long as he “does a good job on the show” whatever the hell that even MEANS. And I would also like to congratulate the Hollywood Reporter on making the cut-off age for this survey 13-YEAR-OLDS. That’s just responsible journalism, emphasis on the word journalism.
Hey, here’s an idea: let’s do our own Charlie Sheen poll (after the jump).
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47% are still holding out for Hot Shots the Third.
I can’t go on…they tied my shoelaces together…
250% of people who watch Two And A Half Men don’t know how to convert two and a half to a percent.
You’re on fire the last few weeks. Could there be a third straight Ball in your future? Signs point to yes.
I just spit 100% of my coffee onto my monitor.
New Poll: What’s worse, that Lawblog posted an animated gif from Monk or that I recognize it as a Monk animated gif?
Is it a double secret reference to Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place? My most favorite show of all time.
And Mine!
Speaking of conversion, Mr. Sheen has requested that we convert these numbers to grams so that he can better understand them.
Have you started pooping yet? You might want to get a jump on it.
Just as I suspected: 90% of the people who watch that show are hookers and Charlie Sheen’s drug dealers.
The other 10 percent are my parents, one of whom did at one time sell drugs, though never to Charlie Sheen.
Sorry everyone. Just, sorry. I erase it from their DVR whenever possible and remind them of his terrible behavior at every opportunity, but there’s only so much one person can do.
Funny, I use my parents’ DVR to record classics like “Sit and Be Fit” or the Twilight Series… just because I think it will be good for them.
2% of people think that if he had a whole suitcase of cocaine he should have shared it with the class.
100% of Mrs. Versus’s father says that women are stupid sluts because haven’t you seen “Two and a Half Men”? It’s how they all are on that show.
64% of people surveyed thought they were filling out an application to be on Big Brother.
Hey Jon Cryer:
Did you know that in the future, your career will crest and fall based on the whims of a coke-crazed mad man?
I know, I can’t believe it either.
is it true that in the original version of pretty in pink it was supposed to end with molly ringwald hooking up with ducky rather than douche face mcgee, and they only changed it because ringwald demanded it? if that is the case then it looks like we got ourselves another WTF moment
You’re right–that was the original ending. I heard it was changed because test audiences didn’t want her to get together with Duckie, so the ending was reshot. But I’ve been wrong before.
Partially true. From imdb:
“The original ending to this film depicted Duckie getting the girl. However, the test audiences said they would have preferred to see Blane win Andie’s heart. Additionally, Molly Ringwald was sick during the filming of the ending and John Hughes wasn’t satisfied with the editing. He was also concerned that audiences would take the original ending as a message that poor people and rich people don’t belong together.”
Ya burnt, Duckie.
Did not mean to downvote that! Apologies!
it’s just that the poor folks don’t have enough pastel to get into the golf club.
also from the imdb trivia…
“Charlie Sheen auditioned for the role of Blane.”
and hollywodd comes full circle
I just heard that the remake of Pretty in Pink will have Dookie (Duquan) from the Wire play Ducky’s role. Shot in 3D and edited by Michael Bay
Don’t worry, capsulekei, we’re good:
and there’s this…
“Robert Downey Jr. was almost cast as Duckie when the ending had Andie getting together with Duckie. Per Molly Ringwald, this ending may have stuck if Downey won the role because he didn’t give her the “brother vibe” Jon Cryer did. “
@ “welcome to costco”
in the remake you KNOW that Dookie (Duquan) from the Wire will DEFINITELY give Molly Ringwald a “Brother Vibe”.
Ahhhh? Get it?
Plus, why is Molly Ringwald reprising her role when she’s now 70? weird sauce
What neither the original nor the updated ending ever truly address is that red heads look rough in pastel pink.
Also, the dress her friend gave her looks way better than her ‘updates.’ Project Runway fail.
50% of me is glad he doesn’t have Charlie Sheen’s drug connections. The other 50% is being protected by the first 50%.
Charlie woud like to see these figures on a spreadsheet. But he doesn’t mean it in the way you would think.
Son of Gabe, ask your grandfather.
In England they call it Maths.
I use this quote all the time and just get blank looks! Thank you, thekel, for making me feel a little less alone in this two-hookers-and-half-an-eightball world.
Funny that Gabe chose Polldaddy.com since Charlie Sheen insists his female companions call him Pole Daddy.
100% of my boobs would never have sex/do drugs with charlie sheen…true story.
I admire and respect your boobs.
The cut-off age for the survey was 13-year olds so they could get Nate Silver to weigh in.
two and a half men is still on tv?
0% of this discussion mentioned how Charlie Sheen tried to SLIT HIS WIFE’S THROAT last year. Way to keep your eyes on the ball, everybody.
cocaine (meth? heroin? crack? i am unsure as to what drugs he is doing) is a helluva drug.
Totally. Men *eyeroll*, am I right?
Also #NeverForgetKellyPrestonsArm
Listen you guys. I should come clean. I accidentally told a bunch of people on another website about this poll, and one of them may have hacked it. So, if the results are overwhelmingly “yes,” I apologize in advance.
“Yes” may be the official winner, but can we all agree that “Yes” is our jam?
YES!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWvzZCZF1gw
Deal With It — Pretty In Pink Style
Charlie Sheen can get fired from his job and spend a couple months in my private prison, ifyouknowwhati’msayin’.
(I’m saying that he should get fired and go to jail [that I own].)
Superglue is the third Koch brother!
I think you misspelled “offensive” and “terrible” up there, Gabe.
“If we can vote on this important poll, so to should the people of Egypt get to vote for their leaders”
—Groupon
that’s not english, “so to should” does not compute, bro
“too” MY BAD HOMIE DAWG. *FIST BUMP*
I voted Yes (because, duh) but where is the third “That show sucks but this guy sure can party!” option?!
I think this is the first time I’ve really stared at your avatar, I fucking love it! That’s all.
Prince Fielder, hungry baseball player, or hungriest baseball player?
Hungriest, hands down. I read earlier that CC lost some 30 lbs in the off season, Prince has little competition now.
All told, Fielder and CC were both integral parts of the all fat guy fantasy team I tried to draft in an auction last year.
I like these two stats taken together:
90 percent of “avid fans” don’t think drug and alcohol abuse problems matter as long as Sheen does a good job on the show.
59 percent of all viewers believe that Sheen isn’t acting on the show but actually just playing himself.
100% of me still loves Sheen in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. But that’s it!
Tell it to my avatar, mom!
LOLs! These must be rough times for you.
“..next on a very special Two and a Half M-” (channel change)
“..next on a very special Intervention..” (channel change)
“..bowling shirt futures looking shaky, but-” (channel change)
“…something something Eygpt burned to the ground…” (TV off, log onto Videogum)
Take this pill and put on your tongue. It’ll keep you acting just like everyone. It keeps you from feeling good, ugly, crazy, and dumb. It ain’t a drug god damnit I’d give it to my only son.
What do you think it means that (as of this moment) 72.53% of people chose the FIRST yes, and only 27.47% chose the second yes? Does the second yes secretly mean no? Or is it like the stalls in a big bathroom, your instinct is to avoid the first one because you think it’s dirty but then you heard that actually b/c everyone avoids it it’s the cleanest, so then everyone ends up using it?
If you selected yes 1 you are left brained and logical.
If you selected yes 2 you are right brained and creative.
Now make a wish and forward this to 10 people within the next hour
I was wondering the same thing. Theres a Statistical Analysis paper somewhere in this.
Voting Habits of Monsters: A Study in Redundancy.
Don’t tell me you voted Second Yes? You guys don’t know what you’re talking about! Get a clue!
There is a lot of math going on today. Mathgum much?
100% of Naval Clowns who frequent this board believe that everyone has the right to slowly (and sometimes with a surprise fast-finish) kill themselves in any manner they see fit.
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