It’s pretty commonly understood at this point that the world of sexual fetishes is so large and diffuse that you can basically find an outlet for ANYTHING that your disgusting heart can dream up. If you are only into dudes who wear those finger-toed grip shoes and refer to Brut as Champagne even though it wasn’t cultivated in the Champagne region of France, there’s probably a magazine for you. And if you’re only into girls who sing songs from Disney’s Song of the South while eating strawberry-flavored, yogurt-dipped Pocky, there are 10 different websites you can bookmark. It’s all out there, you just have to look for it, if for some reason you want to look for it, you pervert. But in the case of being turned on by women doing Harry Potter-themed pole dances to a dubstep remix of the John Williams Harry Potter score, look no further, weirdo. It is after the jump.

Does anyone remember where exactly on the Hogwarts grounds the crappy West Hollywood studio apartment decorated with Christmas lights and ornamental Chinese flags was located? I can’t remember, but I know it is someplace MAGICAL. (Thanks for the tip, Dusky Panther.)

Comments (54)
  1. “I think she performed a Wingardium Leviosa charm on my crotch”–Joke I’ve stolen from a Youtube commenter

  2. I’d bring my magic wand to HER chamber of secrets!

  3. I definitely was not expecting to be impressed by the production values of this video. And yet.

  4. Actually at 1:34, you can see her Potter is not Harry (@stevewinwood)

  5. The 7th webisode of this series is eleven hours long and takes place entirely inside a tent.

  6. You know how sometimes you don’t realize something will be a turn-on until it happens? And then you’re just left alone with your mixed emotions and a new-found curiosity about what this means and how you’re going to approach this fresh aspect of your sexual identity?

    Me neither. I was just asking.

    • I think I see what you’re getting at, but I’m not sure it’s going to work out for you. It might SOUND like something you’d want to try, but a golden shower is just going to short out your circuitry.

  7. I was fully expecting to post that no, the specifics of this video are not a turn-on, but that someone embracing the things they love, even if it combines Harry Potter, dub, and pole-dancing, is a turn-on, then I saw how serious the video was, and no, no this is not a turn-on.

  8. Looks like someone forgot the G in Hogwarts

  9. Hermione looks a little shot-out, you guys.

  10. Order me up a side of bikini-lady-with-a-hoola-hoop-of-fire and I’ll be all set here with my weirdest boner. Thank you.

  11. I, for one, am really enjoying the new direction Videogum is taking.

  12. Clearly a member of the Mufflepuff house.

  13. I can safely say, I will upvote almost every comment in this thread.

    • 50 points to every house for the wide ranging source of puns in this set of comments.

    • I would like to add that I have been stuck recovering from a broken ankle (thankfully not a Brokencyde – get it?) for the past two weeks, and I have been laughing for the first time in weeks thanks to this post and the comments thread. Thank you everybody. Broken bones suck, but you make it a little better.

      Oh, and yes, it totally makes it weird that I have three kids to whom I read the Harry Potter books every night.

  14. The gag reel footage at the end really lets you know that these filmmakers and performers don’t take themselves too seriously and can even be a little silly sometimes. Amateur fetishists, they’re just like us.

  15. I’d show her my patronus but it just produces a milky white swirl at my skill level. (Gross)

  16. Her Phoenix seems to be in Order.

  17. I wonder if that cat is none other than Professor Hardcastle McCormick…

    (Wizard People Dear Reader? Anyone else?)

  18. Is she saying “Too much coke” at the end of the video?

  19. i mean. it would be a lie if i said i wasn’t a little impressed.

  20. Can we as a society get over dubstep now? Honestly, that was Apple Loops and googling ‘dubstep noises” for your pirated edition of Pro Logic.

  21. The Harry Potter theme for a pole dance didn’t bother me (and was surprisingly kind of cool). What bothered me was that she seemed to be performing a sexydance for her cat.

    • oh my god yes, i was deeply disturbed by the way that cat was looking at her, and her reaction to the cat, and whatever relationship was implied by that editing

  22. “This is the hottest thing ever.” – This Guy:

  23. That was some good pole-spinning.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.