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Last Friday, Jay Leno accepted the “Hasty Pudding” award at Harvard University (inventor of Facebook!), an annual award given out by the students to a famous comedian. I’m not sure if this is always the case, but according to Movieline, there was actually quite a bit required of this year’s recipient. Like, he basically had to do everything except for feats of strength. And apparently dudes dressed up in Pippi Longstocking drag is part of it? By the end of the night Jay Leno’s face fell off because it had been ROASTED. Here is my favorite diss of the evening:
“I think you’re funnier than Hamlet.” Halprin — as Letterman — said to Leno. “Reasons why — your face. I just love laughing at your face.”
KABURN! That is so mean and unstructured and lazy and ad hominem that it’s kind of hilarious. Good one, Harvard. (That joke cost that dude’s parents $45,000!) Anyway, put words in that stupid face! In the form of a caption! Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball, which actually might be better (and certainly easier) than receiving a Hasty Pudding award? I say that as a joke sometimes but I think this time it is probably true.
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The reason that Godsauce is afraid to sleep.
[Obligatory Joke] So this is your nightmare?
Lawblog!
(am I doing this right?)
Nope, you’re doing Frank Lloyd Wrong.
*Goodnight everybody.
Never has an “it” been more important to include in a sentence.
Oh, you big baby.
Friday.
Couldn’t resist.
So you meant to say, “Nope, you’re doing it with Frank Lloyd Wrong.”
Right?
I would give you a hand but it feels like you are reaching on this joke.
*Can I get a ride home from you?
I hope you guys realize that one of us is going to try to explain to a loved one why it was so much fun making puns based on our usernames on a pop-culture blog?
But which one? That one.
I’ll never make it to the Ball going up against talent like this… *Le SIGH…..*
whoa! guys, easy.
what is this i dont even
“Cakeordeath.” — Cakeordeath
These are some Electric Koala-ty jokes guys
Conan was the original recipient, but then they took it back and gave it to Leno.
Too soon?
Hasty Pudding
“Great, now I have somewhere to store what’s left of my soul!”
Was one of the requirements that he had to look like Wayland Flowers’ Madame?
No, Leno
“These lovely ladies remind me of Monica Lewinsky. Huh, Bill?!” Jay Leno (obvs)
queue dancing Itos….
In related news, Conan O’Brien accepted the “Calculated Mousse” award at Yale.
A scene from Frank Caliendo’s new food network show about fondue.
Hahaha! This is funny because that guy will never have another show!
“I can’t believe I just won this award! Did you hear about this? Thank you very much for the honor Harvard. Special shout out to Jeff Zucker for all his support! You know what they say, With a name like Zucker, it has to be good.”
Hasty Pudding – Wasn’t that Leno’s nickname in high school?
“Jay Leno, explaining why he think Monica Lewinsky jokes have a place in today’s monologues.”
alternately:
“Jay Leno tries out his latest Monica Lewinsky joke.”
I can’t wait to show this to my best friends Jeff Dunham and Dane Cook
Never before has there been a greater gathering of unfunny in recorded history.
*Not including the Blue Collar Comedy Tour
For your consideration
Fajita McJones said “unfunny thing” not “crime against humanity.”
The guy on the right looks like Colin Firth’s younger, dumber brother.
Two girls. One Yuck.
Did you guys hear about this? This was in the news. Did you hear about this? Apparently Jay Leno won the hasty pudding award. Did you hear about this? Yeah. Apparently he tried to put the pudding into one of his cars!
Kevin Eubanks: Ahhahahahaha. His cars. Man. That’s great.
Well, clearly all the time working with trannys is paying off.
Kevin Eubanks: The PORRIDGE of porridge.
Is the guitar resting on a table? Are there weights hanging off of the headstock? Is he actually haning upside down? I’m confused by the physics of this picture.
Hint: there is a penis involved.
Did you hear that Jay Leno won the Hasty Pudding award over at Harvard? Apparently, it was easy to pick him out of the crowd because he was the only one wearing a denim tuxedo. *keyboard vamp* Hee HEE! Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Paul Schaffer!
Paul *playing Tiny Dancer*: “Blue Jean Tuxedo. Can’t get it it Toledo. It’s definitely custom maaaaade.”
I can’t believe I spent a whole two minutes in the string above trying to come up with a pun using my user name and couldn’t.
“I can fit this whole thing in my mouth…that’s what Heidi Fleiss said!”
1992: sub Amy Fischer
1996: sub Monica Lewinsky
2007: sub Larry Craig
If he were to sprinkle Doritos crumbs in that thing would his self-respect come back to life?
The one in Red: “Congratulations, Mr. Leno. You are officially hemorrhoid free!”
(removes finger) No? Still nothing? Fair enough.
Do you wanna fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me so haaarrrrd
I think you’re funnier than Hamlet.
Gotta celebrate it with a little WTF moment
You don’t get to 3.86 million Baby Boomer friends without making enemies out of the entire next generation.
You don’t get to 3.86 million Baby Boomer friends without them not knowing how to use the remote.
A million Monica Lewinsky jokes aren’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion Monica Lewinsky jokes.
*Bruce Villanch wakes up from the couch* “Really?!”
I kinda hope this wins.
“We will both get staffed as writers on TV shows right out of college. Reasons why: we went to Harvard and also your face.”
Pictured: 5 boobs
“You guys wanna see my antique car collection?”
“ooh….” (disappointed) “… i was expecting a car”
Fixed it
I hope their stingers are still attached.
Spotted: Dick.
Pictured: a symbol of mediocrity that has been around for 50 plus years that is continually foisted upon the entertainment world by a once great institution. Also pictured, the Hasty Pudding award.
Not Pictured: Kevin Eubanks laughing at every joke.
He may have questionable tastes in sweaters, but his decision to ‘jump ship’ was spot on!
Two Huge Drag Queens and One Big Drag.
Whoever said “comedy = tragedy + time” never figured on the popular appetite for “privilege + banality”.
Is it me or is his career dragging on too long?
And Tina Fey said old ladies don’t get respect in show business.
This is actually the tail end of a lengthy, 40-year-long hazing ritual to get into one of Harvard’s most prestigious secret societies. Leno was the only pledge to complete the society’s final challenge: rise to fame doing absolutely nothing, achieve great national acclaim while unceremoniously screwing over your contemporaries, and do all of it without really telling a single joke. It got a bit dicey near the end, but he’s finally done it.
Today is a day for the clowns.
Harvard University’s prestigious reputation took 376 years to build, and one evening with Jay Leno to destroy.
Not pictured: Human decency
Wait, college students like Leno? I’d have thought maybe the college of CARDINALS likes Leno (that is a joke about his audience being very old. Did you get it?)
“Hahahahahahahaha, this guy is THE BEST!” -@nationallampoon
“Hasty Pudding Theatricals, the nation’s oldest undergraduate drama troupe, said The Tonight Show host was selected because he has “entertained millions of people over his long and accomplished career in comedy.”
just cool, all around.
Pudding!
It’s a small world after all.
After winning the Hasty Pudding Award, Jay Leno (middle) is now favored to win the Jell-O and the Snack Pack, which would make him the first Triple Dessert Crown champion since Seattle “Shecky” Slew’s 1978 turn.
Yes, but what do you call the act?
Hamlet < Leno < Macbeth
The Scottish Play! Hot potato, off his drawers, Puck will make amends!
Why is it that I hear so little about college that makes me think more of college?
“This isn’t ‘Go Diego Go!’”
Hey Jay! You’ve just won a Hasty Pudding Award! Why the long face?
“wait. you are both dudes right?”
“Oh Good! I can keep the Ashes from my Career in this cool urn!”
The drag queen on the right looks like John Cusack.
FACT.
To properly introduce the poison, Conan and David needed to get close, very close. They knew Jay had armed guards, but they also knew that he had an affinity for silk outfits and pancake faces…
Not Pictured: Conan O’Brien praying that Brad Pitt will jump out and yell “PSYCHE!”
..two queens and a deuce..
Heeeeeeeeeere’s my upvote!
this really deserves to win. just sayin…
Typically the Hasty Pudding is served as a side dish to Pickle Surprise.
I t’ought i taw a pudding twat.
Ugh, really me?
Lets review some past Hasty Pudding Man/Woman of the year winners: Justin Timberlake, James Franco, Ben Stiller, Renée Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Drew Barrymore, Sarah Jessica Parker. Yeahh… not gonna get too upset about this one.
His ball(having)sy admirers assumed that it was fudge-flavored hasty pudding that Leno received.
*giggles*
Later, Leno’s two new friends stirred the pudding in his garage.
I’m amazed Leno even accepted the award since he had to change out of his all-denim outfit to receive it.
“YOU STUPID GENIE I MEANT TRANSMISSIONS FOR MY CARS”
Somehow I will make an outdated joke about Bill Clinton out of all this…