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For the past few years, Adam Sandler has abandoned his fans, the ones who got him where he is today (Billionaire Town). Punch Drunk Love? Spanglish? Funny People? Bullshit! Who does he think he is, an actor? Boo! Get off the acting stage! Lately, though, it seems like he’s trying to restore his tarnished legacy. First, there’s that horrible new movie about being Jennifer Aniston’s boss, or whatever. He will also play the “Monkey” in Kevin James’s upcoming movie, Paul Blart Mall Fart 2: Zoo Fart. Of course, who could forget the project that Adam Sandler is currently shooting in which he plays a brother AND his own sister. And now, this. (From Pajiba):
Adam Sandler is circling a project called Fat Man. For it, he will wear a fat suit. It may be directed by Miguel Arteta (Cedar Rapids, Youth in Revolt). It is about an 800 pound man who falls in love with his nurse as he tries to lose weight. Neither the director nor Sandler’s role is confirmed, but it’s based on a spec script that Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions acquired several years ago.
Haha. Perfect. Working title: Big Momma’s Hospital 800. BACK ON TOP, MR. SANDLER! CAREFUL, THOUGH, DON’T BREAK THE TOP WITH YOUR COMICALLY FAT BODY!
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It’s too bad there are no overweight actors to play that part, but what are you gonna do?
I know, right? Raycess
In fairness to the producers, the man with the golden fat is in fat rehab or hasn’t been discovered yet or something
Fat suits are our generations black face?
Also, ugly makeup.
They could hire an overweight actor, but why deprive the world of more of this?
I would rather watch Patrick M/Mel Gibson masterbate on orphans any day over watching that wretched “movie” Funny People again.
In the Chicago area?
Terribly sorry. Also, with this snow storm encompassing a good portion of the country…may not be flying out there anytime soon either.
he does three shows on Saturday, if you can swing it
I actually thought the first 60 minutes of that movie was good. The next 90 unraveled pretty quickly, though.
general review: too many minutes
I hope he’s an unredeemable asshole who somehow gets a beautiful woman to fall in love with him
To really reach rock bottom now, he should be in a buddy cop action/comedy:
“PunchDrunken Master! Starring Jackie Chan and Adam Sandler”
I’m embarassed to admit how quickly I would be purchasing tickets to that movie.
Billy Fatison?
Belly Madison
I’m just going to do my own version of some of these, since I’m late to the game:
Flabby Gilmore
Paunch Drunk Love
Billy Madi-tons
Grown D-cups
The Longest Lard
Big Fatty
The (Retaining) Waterboy
You Don’t Get Less with the Zohan
Lil’ Ricky (from Better Off Dead)
They might not be good, but there are several of them!
Really Big Daddy
Fatty Gilmore
Big Nicky
lil (hidden) dickie #IMSORRY #IllLeave
Don’t Mess With The Hostess Cupcakes
Hunger Management
Punch Drunk Blub
Fifty First Cakes
HighFructoseCornSyrupBoy
Formula for Adam Sandler movies:
Sandler plays a (adjective) (profession) who falls in love with a girl played by (Hot costar). The soundtrack will feature (classic rock song) and will costar (one of Sandler’s friends) and (Mid 90′s SNL alum), directed by (another one of Sandler’s friends).
Look who works at Happy Madison Productions….
For instance:
Happy Gilmore
Sandler plays an angry golfer who falls in love with a girl played by Julie Bowen. The soundtrack will feature “Magic” by Pilot and will costar Allen Covert, Kevin Nealon and directed by Dennis Dugan.
Billy Madison
Sandler plays an angry slacker who falls in love with a girl played by Mrs. Pete Sampras. The soundtrack will feature “Telephone Line” by ELO and will costar Norm MacDonald, Kevin Nealon, and directed by Tamra Davis.
Whoops Kevin Nealon isn’t in that, sorry Kevin Nealon, enjoy being on Weeds
Big Daddy
Sandler plays a unemployed lawer who falls in love with a girl played by Joey Lauren Adams. The soundtrack will feature “The Best of Times” by Styx and will costar Allen Covert and Rob Schneider, directed by Dennis Dugan.
I was going to point out that it doesn’t really work for Funny People but realized that’s because it’s not a Sandler movie, but rather an Apatow movie in which Sandler stars.
I definitely tried to do Mr. Deeds, couldn’t get past Winona Ryder cause they all blend to me. And…yea. Needless to say, this could be a fun game.
Print ‘n Save!
When Keats wrote “A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever,” he was thinking about this picture, Patrick M.
Maybe I should stop holding my breath for Little Nicky 2?
Reign Over Me 2: Can’t Stand the Reign
i wanted a gif of missy from that video… but then i found this:
God dammit I love Missy Elliot.
She is the hottest round
He’s got Nicolas Cage syndrome. You just gotta skip the shitty ones and hold out hope for something good down the road.
Nothing Nicolas Cage does is ever good. That movie with Cher was nice, but DESPITE him.
#NicCageHater4Ever
What can you expect from a guy who literally always wears sweats. Every day. Without exception. At least Rob Schneider has the decency to put some jorts on.
He is both the Vincent Chase and the Turtle of his Entourage, also probably the Ari he does make a lot of gay jokes
Once again the man steals black culture to make himself richer.
Your Adam Sandler is so fat, he went on 50 First Dates with a Dairy Queen
Your Adam Sandler is so fat, he got a hole-in-one in the seat of his pants when he tried to bend over.
Your Adam Sandler is so fat, he spent Eight Crazy Nights trying to climb a flight of stairs.
Feel free to use any of these in your movies, Adam Sandler.
Your Adam Sandler is so fat, he needs to loose 500 pounds just to be considered a Big Flabby.
Your Adam Sandler is so fat, when he pulls on his BVDs it spells out “Boy am i Very grateful you keep me putting me in your movies love your frienD rob schneider sorry i wrote this on your underwear”
What’s the over/under for the number of farts in this movie because I would like to put a thousand on “all of them.”
I’m banking on a 10 minute scene centering on farts, so it could go either way. Vegas is still out, odds to be posted at a later date.
Remember “Click”? So bad…
Am I the only one who thinks Punch Drunk Love is amazing? Is it a weird movie? Yes. Would I lump it with the likes of Grown Ups or Little Nicky? Nope. Thanks for your opinion though Rogaber Delahayebert.
I like Punch Drunk Love. I have a whole theory about romance movies (I’m sure you’re like “Ooh, I really hope this total stranger on the internet tells me her theory”) and it boils down to, I like movies where the focus is on the characters falling in love with each other, rather than on the audience falling in love with the characters. Secretary is one of my favorite movies and I don’t want anything to do with either of those people. But I get why they want to be with each other. Punch Drunk Love has other stuff going for it to, like the crazy sound design, but mostly I like that it’s about two very specific weirdos finding their joy.
(I like Jerry Maguire well enough, but it basically birthed my theory from its loins. Tom Cruise does not fall in love with Renee Zellwegger in that movie. He likes her, and he likes her kid, and we think they are all adorable, but he doesn’t fall in love with her. And that would be fine, not all relationships are based on romantic love, but they have that whole thing at the end with all the stuff and I’m like, blech.)
So, yeah, Adam Sandler just acts well every once in a while because his goal is to annoy us, through 90% of his movies, and then, Kaufman-like, through his actual life, and the way he lives it.
Something for the Punch Drunk Love fans. I’m not sure how well seen this clip is but Philip Seymour Hoffman goes flying and I never miss an opportunity to post it…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkeLGisUHtc
“Shit!”
I love PDL. One of my favorites.
Punch Drunk Love is one of my favorite movies, so no, you are not the only one!
I’m actually happy to hear Jennifer Aniston finally has a new movie coming out! (huh?!?) Only because I know she is the next guest on Between Two Ferns.
On my way to work this morning I saw them setting up for one of those star dedications on the ‘walk of fame’ at Hollywood and Vine. Apparently Sandler is getting his long-overdue fame acknowledgment. He’s going to finally be a real star!
He used to crack me up, but then all the jokes started sounding the same, and now I just feel embarrassed for him. I think Adam Sandler might be my dad.