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At one point, she even considered stopping Goop, such was her emotional distress. But somehow (millions of dollars and rampant self-absorption) she found a way. Phew! (Thanks for the tip, every single person.)
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“I was in Italy once, and this old man came up to me and said, ‘I had the best time in Nashville because of Goop.’ And that is so worth it to me.”
How about, ” Beyonce did the school run with me once, and everyone was fine. They also have really good anti-paparazzi rules. If you’re driving in a car and they make you feel freaked out, that’s against the law.”
So relieved everyone was fine.
Dude needed Goop to have fun in Nashville?
Senator Gabe, this man has come all the way from Italy, at his own expense, to help Gwyneth in her hour of need.
“Shit! I can’t do that!”
She’s self aware, there’s no fun in that
Her level of self-awareness is so high that upon finding that Beyonce could do something that she could not, she concluded that, “Beyonce is the most talented human being on the planet.”
sigh…
I still think we should give her a break, but it’s like she is trolling us sometimes.
“She’s self aware.” Look out, Gwynet is online!
I’m glad Gabe didnt promise us we would get to see “something” and then fail to deliver and instead provide a link where said “something” is actually concealed. Remember how that went last time? LOL. Pretty controversial.
Last time was more fun.
Who’s being mean to Gwyneth Paltrow?
Oh, right. Whoops.
Gabe, I thought we talked about cutting back on these Gwyneth posts.
Oh well, fuck it, I tried.
I’d say i’m pretty glad it’s business as usual over here at VG. “Scream from the haters, got a nice ring to it.” – Gabe.
IT’S CHARLIE FROM ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA!!!!!
Don’t try TOO hard there Winwood.
Is there a Gwyneth Paltrow exclusion clause in the WMOAT rules? I know this is neither the time nor the place, but I would have to nominate Bounce, A GP/Ben Affleck flick that was on tv last night. I turned to the channel for only a second, and maybe I’m mistaken, but I believe the line I heard was GP saying, “I like your face too.” And then they commenced kissing in her dead husband’s car (OKAY MAYBE I WATCHED MORE THAN A SECOND).
Need more upskirt!
LEAVE GWYNETH ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Not really, I don’t give a care, friend.)
It’s true. If there is one person on the planet that I feel sorry for on account of her hard, hard life, it is definitely Gwyneth Paltrow.
Don’t worry, Gwyneth Paltrow! You should have seen the nice things people were saying about your vagina just last week!
(“I don’t want to look at that” is a nice thing, right? Because it’s sort of respectful?)
“Gwyn? Dad. Anyway, just want to remind you that whenever someone is mean to you, be sure to explain to them why they’re being mean. People always appreciate the heads up.”—Sent From My iHeaven iPhone
I always liked The White Shadow. Sorry you got cancer.
I wish Gwyneth wasn’t such a liar.
All of these Gwyneth Posts are just Search Engine Optimization so Gabe can eventually profess his love to Goopy Drawers
It goops better.
I understand. People are mean to me, sometimes for no reason really. They’re probably having their own issues that don’t even have anything to do with you, or they’re haters, or they just don’t like you for whatever reason. That’s okay. But I do find the best thing to do in those situations is to schedule an interview with Harper’s Bazaar and vent. Oh, and also talk about how I can just decide where I want to live because of whim and/or preference. While it might not endear the people of Detroit to me any more, it at least makes me feel better.
I can’t hate on Gwyneth, simply because her mama is Blythe Danner and Blythe Danner is awesome.
You know guys, it hard to have millions of dollars. It’s hard knowing you don’t actually have to work anymore. It’s HARD. I’m so lucky not to be Gwyneth Paltrow.
And her best friend Beyonce is a better dancer than she is! Yall don’t know what that’s like!
If the fountain texting lady has taught us nothing else, it’s that going on a national publication and whining about how people are mean to you on the internet always gets people to be less mean to you.
What, is this broad on the rag or something?
WANT TO EMAIL ME ABOUT THAT JOKE?
I just learned that she was in Hook and retroactively forgave her for everything. Sorry you guys, I had to do it.
Apple is a girl. I always thought Apple was a boy. Does that make me sexist because I masculinize my fruti?
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It sounds like her and Beyonce have sex, I don’t mind that one bit
How is babby formed?
How is babby formed?
my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden ; I am truley sorry for your lots
Im dissapointed she didnt refer to her in the interview as Beyoncé Knowles
Beyonce’s internet newsletter is called BOOK. It is where she recommends books.
What are books? Is that like a blog?
“It was amazin’.” –Beyoncé on every book.
“Mrs. Carter.”
“Who cares what some lame person out there says?” Gwyneth says with a laugh. For a moment her composure breaks. Biting her lip she shrugs off the ‘haters.’ “Remember when that guy in Italy said those nice things to you while he was caressing your bum?” She tells her self, “Focus on the nice people.”
Later, when she is alone with a bottle of wine Gwyneth will crudely vandalize another picture of Gabe Delahaye:
it’s like we’re writing the script of a high school movie-slash-romantic comedy where Videogum is the school newspaper
Direct quote from The Hollywood Reporter: “In England, people are cool,” she says. “They’re really laid back and calm. Beyonce did the school run with me once, and everyone was fine. They also have really good anti-paparazzi rules. If you’re driving in a car and they make you feel freaked out, that’s against the law. They can’t put you in a magazine unless they pixelate the kids’ faces. I miss America, but I love living in the UK. I want to have sex with GatherAroundTheOakenTable.”
I find this post offensive. In other news, remember last week?
Also, why didn’t Gwyneth Paltrow star in Eat, Pray, Love? Then the movie would have been almost as insufferable as the book.
(I admit it. I got a soft spot for Julia Roberts.)
On Deciding to Have a Bloody Mary at 10 a.m. and Keep It Going All Day:
“I have my own Fishmonger.”