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It turns out the velociraptors in Jurassic Park were not entirely accurate depictions of real velociraptors. Good luck using that to keep from getting swirlied and shoved in a locker, nerd who figured that out.
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Daaaaaamn, Gabe! Nerd-bullying and vag-spotting, all in one day? What is this, Testosteronegum?
http://images1.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/5077290/Clever-Girl.jpg?imageSize=Large&generatorName=Philosoraptor
Dammit!
Next you’re going to tell me that a T-Rex can’t bite you in half while you are taking a shit in an outhouse.
If you’re willingly in a position where the only shit to be taken is in an outhouse, you desever to be bitten in half.
if a t-rex is chasing you odds are you’d be lucky to even have an outhouse as they are not known to venture toward civilization and usually eat all the people that would be building outhouses in their neck of the woods anyway
CLEVER GIRL IMAGES…… UNITE!!!!
Sorry I’m late.
Dan Telfer is validated! Deinonychus forever!
And yet Ankylosaurus is his professed favorite. But still, you win the race to prove your nerd bone fides.
WANT
Want so much not even complete sentences!
*mouth drops open*
*swoons*
I think I had something very similar to this, though its name had something to do with Pangea.
Also, Avatar Win for you, Destrucity
This was easily my favorite toy growing up. Dino-Riders was great. Tyco corporate offices must have a statue of the guy who figured out a way to put Dinosaurs and War together. The perfect toy.
!!! I had the T-Rex, which would awkwardly amble forward (powered by two D batteries). I think you could also shoot little red laser things from the helmet it wore on its head.
My stepdad did not let having only girls get in the way of a good time, clearly.
@amy wins again: that T-Rex sits above my kitchen counter battling a Brontosaurus. I like to think that two beasts are fighting over the meal that I’m making below. I’m pathetic.
These were a little before my time but I remember creating something similar with an (inaccurate) Velociraptor, an Alan Grant action figure and a bunch of random GI Joe pieces. Then it joined forces with a T-Rex sitting on the GI Joe tank and together they attacked the Jurassic Park Command Compound.
Dino Damage was had by all.
Are we behind on our Dan Telfer routines, comedy nerds?
Here is a funnier version of the Boing Boing article:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vSY_rB928c
Fact: T. Rex can not only bite you in half, but it can move like a cat, talk like a rat and sting like a bee.
If only he still roamed the earth.
Next you’re going to tell me they’re not clever at all!
Also they can’t be brought back to life
All we’re going to get is this stupid “Mammoth Park”…
http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/17/scientists-trying-to-clone-resurrect-extinct-mammoth/
Who ever figured this out was a real clever girl.
look i know that when i hit submit this comment will already be posted. I mean look at the picture above my comment. how can you not?
But guess who still rocks.
I went to click through, but my school’s firewall prevented, so I am just going to assume that the link is a picture of a Velociraptor’s vagina.
highfivedotgif
ha ha haha
do you guys want to debate gabe’s morality and moral failures and why he’s a terrible human being all over again
Nah.
Spielberg has a long history of grievous errors like this in his films.
FACT: Sharks do not generally jump onto boats
FACT: Archeologists do not wield bullwhips.
FACT: There was no “Schindler’s List,” because there was no “holocaust.” (Michael Voris, S.T.B. told me so.)
He’s probably taking Jurassic Park to ILM right now to digitally replace the word Velociraptor with Deinonychus.
THANKS A LOT FOR RUINING INDIANA JONES!
FACT: According to scientists, E.T. would have been much taller, and his alien species was prone to severe peanut allergies, hence rendering the “Reese’s Pieces” hubub totally inaccurate.
Even with feathers, these things re still theoretically terrifying, if not more so.
Are you going to tell me that these guys weren’t true to life either?
My whole world is UPSIDE DOWN.
Speaking of terrifying, did you ever see the Dinosaurs ending?
Uhhh… Not the mama? What a dark turn…
Disbelief unsuspended! Next you’re going to tell me that Jeff Goldblum isn’t a realistic representation of a brilliant mathematician…
You mad for this one, Dubba Dubba!
Whatever. We all know the existence of dinosaurs was just an elaborate prank from God, don’t we? WE ALL KNOW THIS, RIGHT?
I’m worried about our society, guys.
(Tom and Brad had the best teacher)
Spielberg also repeatedly insists that dinosaurs died out millions of years ago, but in a country without a Christian Dictator, what can you expect?
I found a picture on ancestry.com of my great-great grandmother riding a brontosaurus to her job at the stone wheel factory.
I found a picture of my savior (saviour? (britishgum)) riding a dino to work, 4000 years ago. When the earth was created.
The best part of Jurassic Park is when Wayne Knight falls down on that muddy hill and they added a “whoop!” sound effect. Watch it again! It’s the funniest thing ever. ever.
Oops, I mean Newman. Who am I referring to him by his real name?
This made me a little sad. I remember when I was a kid and there was literally nothing in my life cooler than DINOSAURS. They were the best. The unimpeachable pinacle of awesome. I used to sing a song about my love for them called, “Dinosaurs Around the Firetruck”. If only I could be so lucky as to presently have something in my life that gave me such pleasure.
Oh wait, I do.
#wemonsters
“…my love for them *IN A SONG* called”
Dammit.
Lesigh’s new album has not come without it’s detractors, some saying that the record alienates a core fan base while others claim that the majority of the album still remains inaccessible to mainstream. There can be no doubt however as to the instant classic that is “Dinosaurs Around the Firetruck.”
At once sublime and sublimated, wandering and ponderous, “Dinosaurs Around the Firetruck” is a musical journey to the center of Lesigh’s universe, and what we find there is marvelous. Dangermouse’s production is masterful as he has chosen to resist the usual post-production gloss in favor off allowing the lyrics of “Dinosaur’s Around the Firetruck” to shimmer and resonate. “There is literally nothing in my life cooler than DINOSAURS,” Lesigh coos and the listener if left wondering if anything could ever compete. As Eric Clapton leads the song out with a tradmark Layla-esque solo, the listener imagines those dinosaurs around the firetruck and wonders if it is too late to call shotgun.
Wow. You, Sir, get all the cakes. Thank you, teach
This guy doesn’t even care.
Hold on to your butts.
He was prepared for this news because he’s been holding onto his butt this whole time.
Fun fact. I was a teen docent at the Carnegie Museum of Natural History and I used to take people on toursof the Dinosaur Hall. My favorite thing was to tell people everything inaccurate in Jurrassic Park after they told me how much they enjoyed the movie. When they would tell me they loved T-Rex, I would explaint to them that many scientists believe that T-Tex was actually a scavenger rather than a hunter because of its bad eyesite and tiny arms. Im an asshole…I like to shit on things.
“Fuuuuuuuuck.” -Jose Calderon
Its always nice to see a sports joke show up on Videogum.
Actually, the first name given to the raptor was “six-foot turkey”.
HE DOESN’T AGE!
oh my god
Woah…
This does help in explaining the superhuman quality of the show
I AM NOT A REPLICANT
This news doesn’t bother me — I was always a Dimetrodon guy. They had mohawks!
I was pretty sure this was common knowledge by now. Velociraptors, like many other dinosaurs, had feathers! Remember, the birds of today are actually the evolutionary descendants of those dinosaurs of millions of years ago. So, a velociraptor probably looked something more like this:
Oh! Hello thing that will haunt my dreams tonight!
What is this “evolution” you speak of?
But seriously, one time I was at the zoo for a school thing, and this girl and I were looking at an emu, and I said something about how their giant dinosaur feet made their evolutionary history so obvious (I may have also said something about how much I love run-on sentences, but I can’t quite recall). She looked at me like I was a crazy person; turns out she didn’t believe in evolution.
Every time I eat a chicken I smile with pride at knowing that in the great game of life, team mammal has defeated and humiliated team Dino…at least for this round (shaking in fear)…
I’ve been saying this since 1993.
Given my screen name / avatar I guess I’m obligated to comment on this post. All I’ve got, though, is a hearty “no doy” left over from the ’90s.
Scientists and filmmakers all still agree, however, that velociraptors are fucking awesome and they would totally tear a dude to shit if in existence today.
if we were to do a real jurassic park…could we just engineer the velociraptor to be like it was in the movie? think of the children and the crumbling world that we will leave them should they ever doubt the truth of Hollywood!