Photos
From CNN (CNN!!!) via BuzzFeed:
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. I’m just glad to see that EVERYONE is taking this with the appropriate level of seriousness. And also that we’re finally getting some of the IMPORTANT details. As you may have noticed, we don’t get to hear any of the interviewer’s questions before we hear her answers, so I’ve tried to piece together the other side of this interesting conversation.
Q: OK, so, a friend of your texted you. Got it. But a friend from WHERE exactly?
A: A friend of mine from church.
Q: Thank you! Good detail. Very important. It’s all starting to make sense. Now, how did you make the difficult decision of whether or not to reply to this text? How many hours did you spend deliberating whether or not to text her back?
A: I just decided to text her back.
Q: Fascinating stuff! Now, did you judge the distance you had before you would FALL INTO A FOUNTAIN correctly, or did you misjudge the distance between you not being in a fountain and you being in a fountain?
A: I thought I had a long distance. I didn’t.
Q: Well, we all know that now. Hindsight 20/20 AM I RIGHT? LOL. Then what happened. Which part of your body or article of clothing hit the edge of the fountain first? I cannot WAIT to hear your answer:
A: My boot hit the edge of the fountain and I fell over.
Q: You know, you like to think that you understand how someone falling into a fountain works, but to hear it from someone who has actually experienced it, it’s just incredible. Your story is one of bravery and courage. Now, please, if you have any energy left to keep talking with us, what is the next thing you saw?
A: Pennies and coins in front of my face.
Q: Incredible.
A: I’m in the water.
Q: The fountain. Yes.
I think you get the point.
Also hilarious: THE CRYING OBVIOUSLY.
Luckily, of course, this new video will certainly put an end to anyone making fun of this woman on the Internet. That’s just how the Internet works! Fair is fair, that is the Internet’s motto. And enough is enough, that is its other motto. Your nightmare is over, my friend. Definitely super over forever. The end.
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Has it not occurred to this lady that no one would know it was her unless she went on tv to cry about it?
I totally plagiarized you. My bad! I’m going to dunk myself into the fountain at the mall, get leaked on youtube, then go on tv and cry about people making fun of me as penance to you.
Shell, I think your expectations for rational thinking are set a bit high in her case. Keep in mind how she got here in the first place.
Shell, you speak the truth of experience. High five.
(sorry)
(not really)
They don’t let people file lawsuits against corporate mall-owners unless they show their faces. You see how everything in the world always makes sense?
Appropriate level of seriousness. Check. Got it.
i’m probably gonna stare at this all day
i love the scowl the gray kitty makes… so serious
He means business.
Okay well this is just nuts because who on earth can tell from that video who the woman is? This is way way way more embarrassing.
I once had pennies and coins in my face too, but that was when I went swimming at Scrooge McDuck’s place on the Outer Banks.
The door to the vault is shaped like a Wings beach goods store.
Better call Saul.
Got him on speed dial here in the 505.
Friend from church. yeah, right. We all know she got a text from Fred and Daphne saying that they’ve got a mystery to solve and that Shaggy and Scooby are pulling up to the mall in the Mystery Machine to pick her up.
I don’t know, I can see including the “friend from church” bit. It makes the urgency of the text that much more palpable, you know? “Oh, I was going to check my phone when I got done walking, but it turned out it was one of GOD’S CHOSEN, so I felt like I could not NOT check it but also not stop walking.”
“Hey, why don’t you ever call instead of just texting? You are texting me now, aren’t you? Yeah, while I’m leaving message you are totally texting me, aren’t you? Well, see if you can walk on water like my boy.”
Ironically, the text she recieved said “Watch where U R walking.”
Extra-ironically, it was Jesus. He also said “Don’t walk there, you aren’t me.”
“Where there was only one set of footprints, you had fallen into a fountain while texting.”
This comment provided more laffs than the video itself. I love Monsters!
Lady: “Jesus, why was there only one pair of footprints?”
Jesus: “Because, my precious child, that was when I stopped walking so that I wouldn’t fall into the fountain like a dumbass.”
FOOTPRINTS PLAGARISM.
“Hey, it’s Jesus. I was just wondering…you that one episode of Who’s the Boss? where Angela doesn’t win an advertising award but then Tony wins some kind of trophy? What was it for?
“I think it was a bowling – “ *splash*
“I call him Daddy” — best part.
(She almost said “my husband” but stopped herself when she realized there was an abyss of still more public embarrassment at her baffling decision-making to plunge into.)
She calls her husband Daddy? 0_o
seriously, i totally missed that. and just had to rewatch. what the fuck. that is so creepy. i cannot handle that at all.
ready lady? this is my evolving opinion of you:
1) you are anonymous.
2) you are kind of dumb, but maybe i feel bad for you.
3) just kidding, now i think you’re a mega weirdo.
what will #4 be?
Calling one’s husband ‘Daddy’ is creepy and infantilizing all at once. Yikes. I wonder if she gets to pick out her own clothes and handle money.
just ask condoleeza rice, like from that one time when she called GW her husband
That is way more embarrassing than falling into a fountain.
Please don’t call the internet police on me. I take it all back.
She’s a trip.
She should just smile about it, not Frown(tain)….(god i hate myself)
Let’s raise some money to get this lady a guide dog.
They do guide dogs for idiots who can’t detatch themselves from their phones for two minutes, right?
Gabe don’t forget when you fell into that pond while writing a telegraph
People responsible for this:
Mall security
Youtube
Cellphone companies
Her coworkers
CNN Broadcasters
Her friend from church
Mall architects
Her nephew
Her boots
People not responsible for this:
Texting fountain lady
“Keep walking. That’s right. Keep walking. Wait for it. Wait for iiiiiiiiit.”
Agh, can’t handle gifs of this guy at all! Now I have to call my house, just to make sure he isn’t there.
I hope the First Christian Church of Danville, Kentucky, never posts a surveillance video of my baptism.
Q: And this nephew, do you have an inexplicable nickname for him? Like, say, I don’t know, DADDY?
to be fair, she also called the interviewer “daddy”
#tobefair
“Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here… this was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back. Also, don’t put this shit up on YouTube, okay?!” –Mouth, Goonies
“Then Newsweek picks it up and then CNN does a story about it and then YouTube gets a hold of it.”
-Michael Scott
This lady handled it all wrong. If this happened to me I would be embarrassed but I would also LAUGH because SHIT IS FUNNY AND I AM A DUMB.
Look, some people just don’t appreciate being mocked on the international world wide web. This guy knows what I’m talking about:
Oh I would love be the defense attorney for the mall.
“Mam, I would like you to watch the following video”
If she even giggles I rest my case as the jury applauds.
They should turn her story into a movie and title it Lady in the Water. Oh wait, DAMN YOU SHYAMALAN!!
Twist ending: That lady is allergic to water, and was DEAD THE WHOLE TIME
Double twist ending: the lady is, in fact, a kitten.
There was also a staple in her pizza.
nice! let’s not drop this one. no one else is going to pick it up.
As CopperCab would tell you, asking the Internet to stop picking on you NEVER fails. Kudos to the anchors, by the way, for doing their damnedest not to burst out laughing after coming back from that interview.
(Wouldn’t her phone stop working when she fell into the fountain? #missingthepointgum)
I love how the CNN anchor is basically like, “It’s really a shame for that lady, that video is everywhere, it’s on, uh, here…”
A high school friend posted this video on Facebook and wrote: “this lady says she’s devastated & embarrassed….mad about people laughing at it, b/c she could’ve walked into a bus or anything worse. She’s got a point!” Yes, she does have a point, but she also needs to understand that the Internet exists and if someone catches you doing something stupid on video, it’s going on YouTube. ESPECIALLY if she walked into a bus.
I like that “stop” is spelled backwards in the first shot of the bus. Good special effects, you guys.
The stop signs on buses are spelled backwards so cars driving in front of the bus can read it in their rear view mirrors. (I think.)
She does have a point. I know the guys who drive the buses INSIDE my local mall don’t stop for anything.
HAHAHA, what?!
I love how he tries to bodyslam THROUGH the roof of the last car…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyuvkqisuys
Yep.
Okay now that we’re sufficiently far down in the comment thread, I’d like to get serious for a moment. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? This is the thing that consistently makes me the angriest at people on the internet. Just fucking leave bad enough alone, okay? People are going to make fun of you. There’s literally no way around it. And if grainy surveillance video shows up of you on youtube, literally the worst thing you can do is to go on tv and cry about it on mid-range closeup. This lady is a stone-cold idiot. It was bad enough that she fell in the fountain, but at least I can understand how that would happen to someone.
Sigh. I guess I’m mostly just wondering how hard it is to not be a total idiot. Is it super hard? It’s super hard, isn’t it. If I get into a situation where people make fun of me and then I have this ridiculous compulsion to get on tv and/or youtube and blubber about it, further embarrassing myself, then I will certainly eat my words. But until then, this lady is an idiot and I cannot find it within myself to feel any sympathy for her. I rest my case.
I dunno, I kind of see her point. She did something stupid in a public place. Ten years ago, the only people that would know about it were the fortunate folks who got to witness it personally. The embarrassment would fade eventually and you could resume a normal life. But nowadays if some security guard gets footage of it, he’s all like “I gotta upload this!” And then it follows you around forever. That kind of sucks.
I do agree that the worst thing she could have done was cry about it on TV. Go to bed lady, live the rest of your life in whatever quiet dignity you scrape together.
Well, as people (including me) said above, I would never have thought that the lady in the video and this lady were the same lady until she went and outed herself. Even though it’s on the internet, it’s still largely anonymous. Now we’ve all got a face, name and backstory for it. Maybe some of her friends would’ve seen it online and given her a good ribbing about it, but that’s just what you get for walking into a fountain. Now she’s given everybody in the world ammunition to make fun of her on the street.
Quiet dignity? Does not seem to be in her parameters. Big cash payout by pretending to be a traumatized moron so she can quit mall job? That.
It might break a law to make security footage public, but I think when she says, “Your honor, I was terrified that people might identify the grainy 5-pixel face in that footage as mine,” the judge will say, “So you gave HD TV interviews to let the world know about this fear of being identified?” And then the judge will say I’m going to rest your case FOR YOU.
Ugh, hotspur, don’t even get me started on how much it grosses me out when people try to cheat money by suing people over their own stupidity.
Oh yeah, I just want to clarify that I don’t agree with her filing a lawsuit.
“That’s my wife! She’s a little clumsy and doesn’t make the wisest decisions, but I love her so much.” –Daddy
“Women be shoppin’ and textin’ and trippin’ into fountains.” –Daddy
She’s crying because the video of her tripping and falling ended up on YouTube. Oh boy, she’s going to do a lot of crying when she finds out that the video of her crying about how the video of her tripping and falling ended up on YouTube ends up on YouTube.
meta!
Channel 69, dude!
Sometimes the Internet has to search decades-old tapes to find it’s stars, sometimes a person has a passion for a particular hobby that nets them internet stardom, yet the best Internet stars are simply the ones who-out of nowhere- fall head first into our hearts.
“YEah this tape really shouldn’t have gotten out or been shown to anyone, especially on the news!” – News Anchor, seconds after showing fountain fall video for 5th time on national television
Wow, you guys, apparently this is her nightmare.
A local newspaper reporter just dug up some nice information on the fountain swimmer lady’s RECENT criminal activities and posted it an hour ago. She used a co-workers credit cards to make over 5,000USD worth of purchases. Here is the link- http://readingeagle.com/Article.aspx?id=280672
She was also involved in a hit and run, so it’s likely not the first time she ran into something while texting.
Her fountain lawyer:
“What we want is an apology,” he said. “We also want to know what happened, how it happened and who is responsible and then we’ll go from there.”
1. What happened=she wasn’t being accountable for her walking activity.
2. How it happened=her boot hit the fountain first when she wasn’t being accountable for her walking activity.
3. Who is responsible=she is, when she wasn’t being accountable for her walking activity.
4. Where “we” will go from there=nowhere and/or hell.
CASE CLOSED.
This is actually my local mall. Any ideas from the monsters on what to do in remembrance? I’m thinking flowers or a cross.
Obviously, you need to start a collection for the Dumbass Fountain Lady Honorary Fountain Perimeter Warning System. It’s too late for Dumbass Fountain Lady, but future generations can still be saved.
I agree. I think the Perimeter Warning System should send a warning text to anybody who crosses the safety line, so that this never has to happen to anyone every again.
In Minneapolis, on the Nicollet Mall, there is a statue of Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat, in the exact place that particular part of her theme-song footage was shot. So, something like that maybe? Big, bronze, life-like statue?
definitely DON’T rack up $5000 in debt on someone else’s card at that mall! I can’t stress that enough!!!
That lady is very silly!
She’s just pissed because her phone got water-damaged before her friend could receive her text.
I just went to check my email and the news page of msn has a story about how this lady has-
been out on $7,500 bail since 2009, after being charged with running up more than $5,000 in purchases on a co-worker’s credit card…. …and she’s facing about six months of house arrest and electronic monitoring.
Hopefully this will take her out of her life working in the mall and into the world of louis vutton bags and blonde hair dye!!!
Apparently there were multiple reasons why Fountain Lady should not have drawn attention to herself:
http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/01/20/5885523-texting-fountain-ladys-problems-bigger-than-youtube-fame?GT1=43001
Wait, this IS an Austin Powers clip, isn’t it? Why’s Austin sound like a lady? What’s this about coins? Not your funniest work, Mr. Powers.
My wife and I have found that playing “Church Friend and Daddy” keeps the marriage fresh.
Calm down, Rick Moranis!
Anyone else feeling Fred Armisen playing her in “A Splash from Heaven: The Fountain Lady Story”, a Lifetime Original about the unseen MAN who pushed her into the fountain, and her redemption through Jesus?
Let me get this straight. Lady goes on national tv because she’s so embarrassed at being recognized. Lady is recognized on national tv shot as a wanted felon.
Maybe the lady used the coworker’s stolen credit card to pay for the phone when she bought it, and this is a case of karmic justice come full circle. Now there’s a movie!
file:///C:/Users/Jorn/Pictures/GIFS/sober_o_GIFSoup_com%20(3).gif