Oh, ladies. Always a pharmaceutical sales rep, never a TV bride!
Question: What is a manscaper?
i can only assume its like a skyscraper only thing with a man and not the sky…….
The Bachelor has both kinds of white woman – blonde AND brunette.
Boo! you forgot the best kind of white women: redheads.
Hey, I thought we were toning down the violent rhetoric! It’s something we should all look down our sights to a more level-headed future.
I know. A person of my caliber should be more careful with the language I select.
Jessica Rabbit she wishes!
(And I wish, as well.)
I believed we learned recently that redheads aren’t white.
CopperCab is coming for you.
Looks like someone’s concerned about the lack of an old wooden ship on TV.
They’re just sad because now they can’t go on Bridalplasty.
Years in the future, Sociologists will use this picture in their writings on the downfall of Western Civilization.
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Dayum. Nice tits.
I just don’t understand … (sob) … what went wrong … (whimper). Were my tits not out enough? (heaving sobs)
First I was like this
But I should have been like this
Is a manscaper like a landscaper, but for men’s junk?
1000 B.C. – Rachel
1500 A.D. – Rachael
2011 A.D. – Raichel
2250 A.D. – Raye-shelle
3000 A.D. – Whayeshuulle
3500 A.D. – R-X2991
Who spells their name like that?
A professional Manscaper with giant fake boobs, obvs.
No one gets bees
But if you can’t find love on a dressed-up gameshow on national television, where can you? Huh?
Sailor Moon cosplay gatherings?
Also, part of me wants to try to go on The Bachelor. On Rose Ceremony night, I would be trussed out to the max in my nice sweatpants and my gym tshirt from 7th grade (with only moderate mustard stains). I also imagine I would be very sad when people say that they are not there to make friends, because friends are a good thing to have, and you shouldn’t just say no, you know? Because that hurts, manscaper lady. That hurts a lot.
I always want to try to get on stuff like The Real Word (does that still exist?) by acting like some character they would want, then insist on acting like a parody of myself and refusing to go along with their reactions:
Me: What did you do last night? I stayed in and read The Man without Qualities, then watched Star Trek.
Me: Did you learn anything?
I approve of this plan. My plan, if I was to go on the real world, would be to scream at people for being filthy filthy barnyard animais, and was it really necessary to leave love puddles in the shower, and that I hope they know that their mothers will be watching this someday.
These ladies are just sad that they’re going to be missing out on some sweet hand jobs under the hand job blanket.
Oh, to live that dream……
Is that what we call Snuggies now?
I’ve watched some of this season of the Bachelor, only because it’s on every time I go to the Laundromat (“YEAH RIGHT” – other Monsters). This dude is not good looking and dumber than a pile of bricks, but these women still get all crazy over him. As a fun sociological experiment, I think they should just keep making the Bachelor uglier and dumber every season, just to see if the women on the show will keep reacting this way to him. My guess is yes, because the types of women that go on this show are blinded by competition.
I believe he is good-looking. He’s on TV, as a good-looking person, therefore, he is good-looking.
At first I was like:
But then I was like
oh man teach, i did not see this before being all plagiarist. thank god they are different ladies. whoo. nice work.
No worries. How are you supposed to look at that photo gallery and NOT make the “At first I was like, but then I was like” joke?
While paging through I tried to remind myself that these are PEOPLE, and even though they’re on The Bachelor they probably still have legitimate feelings and I should try to, I don’t know, sympathize? Is that what I should be doing?
But are they legitimate feelings? Or have they either manufactured the emotions out of delusions of fame, or even out of aspirations of delusions of fame?
aspirations of delusions of fame + well vodka + DDs + vacant eyes = feelings. right? do i have that math right?
Is DDs Dunkin Donuts or Dungeons and Dragons?
OOoooo. I get it.
No, you did the math wrong. You forgot to add self-importance and belief in own absolute sincerity. That equals…well…nothing as good as feelings.
Well, as any one of those crying girls could tell you, math is super hard.
UGH. I do not feel bad for them AT ALL! This is season…what?..like 27 of the Bachelor already. Have they NEVER seen it before? Why are they all surprised when they have to share the man with all the other girls, when he’s kissing everyone else too, when there’s a crazy b* in the house, etc etc etc. If they haven’t figured it out by now they deserve some humiliation.
Dear Internet. Thank you.
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