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Make no mistake: MTV’s Skins is terrible. It’s cheap and lame and puts the emphasis in the wrong place. Also, I’ve noticed that even after celebrating my 99th birthday this year, I still have vestigial adolescent ghost pangs whenever I hear someone on a TV show use “slang.” It all sounds like “hangin’ on the flippity-flop” to me, and it all sounds plain WRONG. But one thing that MTV’s Skins is not is cartoonish stupid annoying child porn. Duh. From the New York Times:
MTV executives have a new hit drama on their hands, featuring the sexual and drug-fueled exploits of misfit teenagers. They also have something else — a fear that coming episodes of the show may break the law.
In recent days, executives at the cable channel became concerned that some scenes from the provocative new show “Skins” may violate federal child pornography statutes. The executives ordered the producers to make changes to tone down some of the most explicit content.
Yay! Toning down some of the most explicit content means toning down the only outward “appeal” of the show. Hopefully they’ll just yank the whole thing (that is what he or she said, can’t remember) in the name of decency. Just because this show isn’t ACTUALLY child porn doesn’t mean it can’t face the same consequences for its less-easily prosecutable crimes, Al Capone going to prison for tax evasion-style. Now just what, exactly, is the part that concerns the executives? Is it the sex or the drugs or the partying? Surely it is the sex or the drugs or the partying.
Nope!
They are particularly concerned about the third episode of the series, which is to be broadcast Jan. 31. In an early version, a naked 17-year-old actor is shown from behind as he runs down a street. The actor, Jesse Carere, plays Chris, a high school student whose erection — assisted by erectile dysfunction pills — is a punch line throughout the episode.
It is a 17-year-old dude’s butt running through a city street. Good grief. I’m not sure why I have to be the one to tell the MTV executives this as they are all, to the best of my knowledge, or at least I assume, adults, but hey, MTV executives, YOU ARE DOING PORN WRONG IF YOU THINK THAT IS WHAT PORN IS. (I can understand why parents might be concerned about the overt sexual content of this show, but that doesn’t actually make it porn, and it should also be pointed out that any impressionable children who are watching this have known how to download Wet Asian Raw Dog Teens 9 onto their Nook since they were three. And any perverts who are watching this for whom Skins is somehow “enough” has plenty to work with even without some dude streaking. I’M ASSUMING JK I DON’T KNOW HOW PERVERTS WORK! Everyone, as usual, is worried about the wrong things and should go back to Worry School. CLASS IS NOW IN SESSION!)
What I’m trying to say is let’s just cancel all entertainment pandering to teenagers. Just in case!
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Okay, maybe I’m just being a dumb girl, but since when does a 17 year old dude need erectile dysfunction pills to have a boner all day long?
17 year olds are capable of pretty much indefinite boners. True facts.
not proud to say i know this, but large amounts of DRUGS can totally cause e.d., so it makes perfect sense for this show, right? i’m sure that’s exactly what’s going on in the episode, tons of drugs = NOBONERZ = tons of boner drugs
If it’s anything like the original episode (which ranges from hilarious/ridiculous to absolutely heartbreaking), Chris is the kind of guy who will just take any pill he finds when he wants to party, and he ends up taking a few “Erectagra” (if I remember correctly) one night, getting absolutely wasted, and waking up in the morning with a boner that lasts…forever. And he gets violently kicked out of his own (wrecked, empty house by a hobo (while naked), so he has to run down the street, through Bristol, to his college (high school) to find some clothes. And it’s sad, and pathetic, even moreso because this is a 16-year-old kid who idolizes his dead brother and has just been abandoned by his single mother and while I will not touch the US version with a ten-foot pole, I can only imagine that they fucked up this episode to make it some sort of hilarious romp.
Uhh apparently I love UK Skins almost as much as I love parenthesis…but I just can’t quite get the hang of them.
it’s just kind of fun…
Gabe, why don’t you have a seat over there…
Tell those MTV bigwigs how to do child porn correctly!
In my day TV child porn used 30 year old actors
We’re gonna need a bigger upvotes calculator for that picture.
Also, I OBJECT, that every article of clothing in that picture is the ugliest piece of crap clothing I’ve ever seen, except perhaps the girl in the middle’s boots. They really should be naked all the time if that’s what their wardrobes look like. #judgmentgum
Yeah, they really look terrible. The one who apparently gets naked (and is almost cute, I’ll admit) literally looks like he picked up articles of clothing off of the floor from after a rave…which was someplace cold.
Do they…still call them…raves?
I still call them raves, but I also need a hand rail to get off the toilet, so …
what is with the outfit of the guy on the far left? and those plaid shoes?
and why is there a baby dan humphrey in the middle?
They are nice boots, but why are they EXACTLY matching her dress? Did she buy a complete set from JCPenney?
I like the pillow!
“remember that postcard Grampa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman’s bottom? We all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong: that alligator was sexually harassing that woman.”
“Actor Portrayal”
“But one thing that MTV’s Skins is not is child porn.” – disappointed perverts everywhere
So… Skins is worse than child porn? That’s the message I took away from this.
I watched this on Monday, and was scandalized by 1) how awful it was and 2) the scene where these two children are dancing together and the guy blatantly gropes the girl’s breasts. Is that okay to show on basic cable tv now?! I feel 1 million years old.
Oh and what was with “hold onto one girl’s boobs” as part of a cheerleading dance or whatever they’re called? And the school team was called THE POLECATS!!
I’m pretty sure the British version of Skins had this same issue come up in their first season, and they had to tone it back, too. Except they actually showed full frontal nudity.
Sorry that it makes me sound like a snob, but UK Skins is great.
1st Generation 4eva
I will admit to really liking the first two seasons of UK Skins. I couldn’t get into the 3rd/4th. I have already seen it once though, so I have no interest in the US series.
Yeah, things got weird in season 3
No shame I love it all. 1st and 2nd gen UK. And the US version. Then again I’m biased.
“Child porn…? YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!” -RIP Gabriel Delahaye 01/20/2011
Five bucks on MTV leaking this story to raise interest/viewership in their “controversial” new show.
you don’t even have 5 bucks and you know it!!
Surely, we can raise 5 bucks to fund LBT’s gambling habit. Let me see here… 1.20, I have $1.20, anyone else?
I have a haypenny, but I could sell some of my teeth.
Exactly what I was thinking.
In other news Burger King is afraid their new burger might be TOO DELICIOUS to meet standards. We ask them the tough questions at 11.
*papes is not comparing child porn to deliciousness. that is not the point of this joke.
does mtv still stand for “music television?” (i’m older than Gabe)
Actually not really. They had a big re-branding campaign last year in which they basically scrubbed “Music Television” from the logo, because marketing! and also why have words in a logo when people hate words.
Same thing happened when TLC stopped being The Learning Channel and started being garbage.
You know the word “learning” is not necessarily synonymous with “quality.” I believe America’s public schools have proven that.
Ah ginger SNAP!
There was a show on TLC last night about a girl who eats couch cushions! That’s real life learning.
It’s like Starbucks Coffee isn’t Starbucks Coffee anymore (which isn’t to say that it ever was coffee to begin with)! Starbucks Coffee is now everything but coffee, it’s probably the least important thing on their list.
I LOVE it when companies do that, it’s so funny! Like, Burlington Coat Factory wants you to call them Burlington [because it's not just about COATS any more!]
“Hey gurlfriends! Let’s all head down to Burlington and get so totes cute clothes!” LOLOLOL
Or like when Kentucky Fried Chicken became KFC and then became Let’s Make Joke Food To Kill People On Purpose.
Or when Pepsi was like “We’re such cool cats! Call us ‘The Cola’, you rad dudes.”
And the world was like “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL No.”
“Burlington” is not really a sexy name either, is it? Maybe if they rename it “Burlington 17 Forever,” or “Glamour Burl.”
I feel like such a conservative saying this, but this show glamorizes drug use and general reckless behavior. Teenagers are pretty good at doing drugs and acting reckless (and some times paying for it the rest of their lives) without a show making them feel better about it. I have never seen the British version and I am pretty sure I would not feel the same way about it. American remakes always pretty much ruin the original.
Yeah, I’m getting a strong KIDS vibe from this, except without the overwhelmingly depressing consequences (of which KIDS and real life have several for that kind of behavior). So basically it’s KIDS (which is horrible) without it’s only redeeming factor (which means it’s the most horriblest).
“The consequences are the best part of being a teenager!”
-Skins
Seriously? That’s from the show? You know, I work in a branch of emergency medical care that sees a lot of those consequences first hand and this show should fucking be ashamed of itself.
Its not from the show…but it sort of is from the show.
Does any of you remember what it was like to be a teenager? For the most part there were no major consequences! The only major consequence was detension or bad grades or getting in trouble with your parents, but as a teen who cared about that?
as a teen you thought that would never be you, you were invinsible.
Ignore one of your downvotes, that was me by accident. I agree with you and am glad someone was saying it, but when I went to upvote, I missed.
I haven’t watched the US version (THANKS, GABE), but on the UK Version (SPOILER ALERT), there are occasional Consequences. They just don’t happen five minutes after the Recklessness.
As a big UK Skins apologist (well seasons 1-3 apologist) I definitely think the show succeeds because of the way it shows the consequences of their actions. It lacks the after school special vibe because problems aren’t neatly dealt with in one simple half hour. The Mean Boy character even gets literally hit by a bus as he tries to apologise for ruining lives (amazing).
wait a minute, that’s regina george’s story arch
I’ve never watched a minute of any version of Skins. I feel like I’m doing alright.
Don’t they already show much worse than that in the “music” “movin’-pictures” that all the kids watch these days anyways?
If this is what the kids are watching, I’m satisfied with slowly becoming Abe Simpson.
“The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again. Number one: bra. Number two: horny. Number three: family jewels.”
“…download Wet Asian Raw Dog Teens 9 onto their Nook since they were three.”
I’m reading Lolita on my Kindle, does that count? (Hi everyone, check out my Kindle)
What the hell? When I was a teenager, my life was nothing like what this show is probably like. Nor was it like Gossip Girl, The OC, or any damn show depicting teenage life. I spent most of my weekends hanging out in someone’s basement drinking SODA or at tennis practice. I know teenagers are all youthful and full of hormones and shit but I highly doubt that any teenager’s life is like this movie, ever. Or, I did it wrong. (or right). This show does nothing more than freak out overprotective parents and present a terrible idea of what high school “should be like,” and it’s not like that at all.
I don’t really have any other related point, this shit just annoys me.
When I was that age, I was hanging out in a basement, playing Replacements songs on a poorly tuned guitar, then renting Black Bass for Ninetendo with a friend and finishing off the night by watching the VHS tape of Cure videos that he had.
Occasionally we would go on a cocaine bender and ride cows through town, but other than that, it was a pretty tame.
You both spent most of your teenage weekends hanging out in a basement, but never played DnD? You missed out.
Ha. My high school career was spent in a lot of basements, watching really bad horror movies, eating this snack product called “Fiddle Faddle,” which was basically Cracker Jacks without the fancy price tag. There were some delightful, untelevisable moments before 18, but the ratio of those to the moments I spent arguing that the fireball would not also hit my friends…
I have no regrets. (I have some regrets.)
You mean you were worried about whether it would hit your friends, too? That thought never crossed our mage’s mind. God, I’m a nerd.
I have only ever tried playing Dungeons and Dragons once and it did not go well.
Teenage weekends? I played D&D last night
3.5 or 4th Ed.?
4th. We started when 4th edition was shiny and new, and it seemed like the hip thing to do (I play D&D to be hip, obviously).
I totally had that VHS tape of Cure videos. Also, Positive Mental Octopus.
Well, I mean, I know a guy who at 17 nearly got arrested for grand theft and credit card fraud (or whatever those charges are called in England) for stealing someone’s credit card then using it at a series of restaurants and bars in a drunken stupor but got off because the police couldn’t prove it was him who signed all the bills. I also know a girl who started drinking at 13 and got a DUI at 17 and had to go to rehab.
So my teenage years were nothing like Skins, but some people’s were.
“cheap,” “lame” and “puts the emphasis in the wrong place…”
*Puts on Carnac the Magnificent costume*
“…Things exes have said about Gabe Delahaye.”
did you know that the british version of skins (which is like 3x better, obviousloly) is actually called Scones? Because they’re british.
Kid on far left
Tell me that’s not what it looks like.
also, there really is an amazing selection of pictures of people with cats on their heads out there.
Cats spotting their dead relatives on human heads – cat tumblrs are really scraping the barrel.
Out of the three: sex, drugs, and watching bad TV; I feel the most regret over watching bad TV.
I have never seen this show but this sounds so much worse than Gwyneth Paltrow. She is just an adult living her life. This kind of thing seems like an evil plan to make everything more terrible. Teenagers do not need more shit making them feel more numb, jaded and desperate for attention. Skinz, go to bed.
Sorry if this has been brought up, but I think Sam already broke this ground on Freaks and Geeks?