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Some dudes who appeared on Millionaire Matchmaker are complaining that the show portrayed them badly. Uh, correct, dudes. IT IS CALLED MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER AND IT IS A SHOW ABOUT ASSHOLES. Did you all make your fortunes in the booming Not Paying Attention industry? Oh well. NOW YOU HAVE TO GO ON TOOL ACADEMY!
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On the downside, you were portrayed negatively on a TV show. On the upside, you are a fucking millionaire gaining national exposure, and you now have to do even LESS to find a suitable mate than you did before, which was still pretty much waving your wallet in front of attractive members of the gender of your choice. So basically, fuck you guys.
Searching for man waving wallet turns up way more porn than it should.
Hey guys, David Simon just called and said he’d like to do a well-nuanced multi-layered TV series about your plight.
Also, the mother of the little girl wearing the Madonna pointy bra in the toddler beauty pageant is complaining that the show made her daughter look kind of slutty.
In a related story, the people on Hoarders have expressed concerns that the show makes them look “kinda weird” and “undateable.”
Did you guys ever play the Hoarders drinking game where everytime something reminds you of your childhood you drink until you can’t remember?
Hoarders Drinking Game?
I’ve been playing it for so long, without even knowing what it’s called!
Drink if your social worker asks you not to force her to come back here. Drink two if she asks the same thing next week.
I appeared on John & Kate + 8 and they made me look like being a celebrity was more important to me than raising my litter.
I appeared on Survivor and they made it seem like I thought the plights of the 3rd world were a trivial way for me to make a million dollars.
I appeared on Bridalplasty and now Snooki wants to meet me for drinks.
I fell asleep in a dumpster and now I have a liqueur endorsement deal.
I’m meeting Snooki for drinks, too. She said she likes my bangin’ style from when I was on Toddlers In Tiaras.
I appeared on Intervention and they made it look like I cared about my uncle being addicted to paint thinner fumes.
How can it be that a person can have enough sense to accumulate millions of dollars, but not enough sense to avoid appearing on reality shows? And why am I stuck being having the opposite?
Also, why am I not good at typing talking?
Sometimes words go much hard.
I myself also made a million dollars in the Not Paying Attention industry. And I put it all…um… geez, where DID I put it?
I’m sorry, what? I wasn’t really paying attention…
That show was probably 2010′s car wreck of the year. Just… can’t… look… away…
Don’t even get me started on how many weekend marathons they have of it.
MY VICE IS SLICE, YOU (FELLOW CANADIAN) GUYS!
Don’t be surprised if a show about assholes is shitty.
As the chairman of the Welcoming Committee, it is my privilege to extend a laurel and Ed Hardy handshake to our new . . . douchebags.
I just recently discovered Millionaire Matchmaker. It is too good. Unlike most dating reality shows where a bunch of trashy insane people fight for the spotlight and the affection of a wealthier, trashy insane person, MM lets that one wealthy creep loose in a room full of legitimately attractive, reasonably successful/likable people who only kind of want to be there, which I find far more entertaining.
Fun ‘Millionaire’ Contestant Fact: Dave Vroubel, the broker who loves scarfing down FERMENTED DUCK EMBRYOS, hates kids. Hm!
Kids hate him too. So does everyone else, including his date.
“said business has slowed and he was dropped as a legal expert from TruTV because he appeared sexist.”
if you’re sexist and no one knows that doesn’t mean you’re not sexist. it just means you hide it. if people fine out what you’re really like and no longer want to associate with you, that’s your problem. i’m pretty sure the only people that can remain unscathed on a reality show are the people that the reality show won’t cast. because who wants to watch a bunch of nice people be nice to each other?
This is a show? Looks like I’m going to have to trash my idea for Douchebag Datedealer.