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To be honest, I didn’t even know Tom Hanks had a son besides Colin, but somehow learning that he exists in the same breath as learning that he wants to be a rapper (named Chet Haze, dope) comes as NO SURPRISE WHATSOEVER. From Gawker:
Chet Hanks is the son of actor Tom Hanks. He attends Northwestern University. Chet Haze is “an up and coming MC…Born and raised on the West Side of the Westside’s main city LA.” Yes, he has a new Northwestern-themed single.
According to Chet’s bio: “Living the college life, Chet’s days consist of chilling with his boys, attending class, and taking care of business. However, his nights consist of absolutely murdering tracks, and living what he is really spitting.” As Chet argues on the Twitter, “just realized my fb and first single was released on 1/11/11. I think its cuz im gunna win. you tell me.”
Uh, NEWSFLASH, you already won, kid. You will never have to work a day in your life, and your experience up until now has been one of such abundant affirmation and indulgence that you actually think “being a rapper” is a real thing you might actually do. Ha! Good luck! Streets is talking! These guys are all pulling for you. Oh, P.S. no offense, but your rap (after the jump) is terrible!
We already have an Asher Roth, Chet Hanks. His name is Asher Roth, and he sucks.
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He could have saved time by calling the song “Lavender.”
or light urple
So the real story is that Colin Hanks created a fake brother to make himself look better by comparison, right?
Incorrect: Colin Hanks is awesome. Have you heard his appearance on Comedy Death Ray Radio? It will make you a believer.
That was a really good episode. I actually felt ashamed of myself for becoming critical of how much Colin interjected, thinking, “leave it to the comedians, Hanks!” But he did really good and the podcast as a whole was a really good time.
I don’t believe in downvotes, but if I did, I’d downvote you hating on Colin Hanks. I respect your freedom of speech, even though you’re wrong.
Aw, no disrespect intended! I was HUGE into Roswell when I was in middle school and ever since I’ve always been thrilled any time I come across him in something. I stand by my point, though – being an the actor kid of a MEGA FAMOUS actor has to be rough, and on a scale from Chet Hanks to Tom Hanks, Colin would have a pretty sweet spot on the Tom end of the scale.
Wait… rough?
Not rough in a way you or I would understand.
I’ll have to brush up on my Salinger to understand the struggles Chet Hanks has to face.
I think it’s rough in a way. Your life is always going to be overshadowed by your parent. You can’t form a separate identity of your own, you’re always going to be “____’s kid.” That sucks!
Of course, having bazillions of dollars DOESN’T HURT but that doesn’t mean everything is perfect.
NO ONE IS GONNA SEE THIS, but I always felt a bit sorry for Colin Hanks. I imagined him talking to his friends, as a teenager, trying to take part in those good ol’ “PARENTS JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND” conversations, but being instantly rebuffed. “Yeah, right, Colin, your dad is like America’s greatest guy, I’m sure he makes your life sooooooooo difficult.” “Yeah, Colin, I’m sure your dad is a total monster to you, shut up”. Rough life, Colin, rough life. :/
Chet Baker is to Colin Hanks as Mr. Brainwash is to Banksy?
I have a sneaking suspicion that this guy is an inposter who has pulled off a brilliant long con on Colin and his father Tom, only to hubristically blow his cover with this piece of shit that is somehow a worse version of “I Love College”
“his nights consist of absolutely murdering tracks…”
look, Gawker, can we calm the rhetoric surrounding Chet Haze and his music?
I am disgusted by this obvious blood libel.
yeah, seriously! why does the Hanks’ family always murder children to use their blood in certain aspects of their religious rituals and holidays?
I’m going to hazard a guess that most people DIDN’T click on the “blood libel” link that Gabe left in the Sarah Palin post.
I didn’t come up with this shit myself you know
Oh, I did. And then I laughed and laughed and laughed some more at Mrs. Alaska. She so cute. She thinkin’ again, huh…
No THanks.
What is this Chet?
A bunch of Tom-foolery if you ask me!
Hanks, but no hanks…
I am Colin it a day, you guys!
Drivin’ down the strip in my Lambo with a honey
Pops bought me the car with his Forrest Gump money!
Yeah! Forrest Gump Money! He got the Forrest Gump Money!
Like Bubba’s got shrimp/Chet Haze is a pimp!
Talkin Bout Jenny got ya Boy Sippin Remy
I’m dropping rhymes with a Splash yo I’m about to explode,
My beat’s crackin’ fools’ skulls like the Da Vinci Code
Watch yourself bro, this about to get Terminal
I’ll run the Green Mile like I’m some kind of criminal
I shout “You’ve Got Mail!” like its 1994
Every day in the streets, we’re fighting Charlie Wilson’s War
Big!
No lie, you’re not a bad rapper. Do you have experience in jokey rap a la Lawlblog?
No, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.
#braggart
We runnin’ this, Forest, lets go!
I’m with CheChe.
See, you never hear this kind of nonsense from Otm Shank’s kids.
BRB, writing an official petition to Videogum asking that every upvote I’ve ever had be donated to Mr. Wrong.
Already tried, Gabe won’t budge. And I even dressed up like Avatar
Yeah I’m Tom Hanks son,
Why don’tcha give it a rest?
Or else I’ll have to come at’choo
Like the Polar Express!
You’ve Got Fail
That rap was a total Dragnet.
He’ll never make it in the music industry, he’ll be Cast Away before he even starts.
Turner and Douche
Joe Versus The Volca-nope
Money Pit
M.C. Cast Away
oh facetaco beat me too it
to it
Phiaidelphugh
Philadelphiugh* How embarrassing . I’ll see myself out.
The DaVinci Crap
Forrest Crunk
Houston, we have a rapper.
Thug life is like a box of Vanilla
Witless in Seattle
Bosom Bozo.
Appalling 13
Donna Darko
Donna Darko
I’ll bet he’s just doing this so that he and Peter Scolari’s son can live in a “Rappers only” apartment complex.
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my upvote
Go ahead with your own upvote, leave me alone
Ok, so I fully expected an actual music video here.
YOUR DAD IS A MILLIONAIRE, SON! GIVE ME A GODDAMN VIDEO TO LAUGH AT!
Haha! YES!
I wish his voice sounded more like Tom’s.
It’d be dynamite hearing Tom Hanks rap, albeit badly.
Your wish has been granted, friend:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT_QRKfv8H4
What the what?!
Thank you friend! And THANK YOU internet – you never fail to amaze me.
THIS IS AMAZING
Yeah, but… he’s pretty?
Agreed. I’d Hit That!
If nothing else, it sounds like he’s a real Ladykiller.
Would totally hit that.
Ehh. Good, not great; B+.
Sorry Chet, the only acceptable Ivy League rapper is Natalie Portman, yo. Somebody get this kid a polo shirt and a tennis racquet, stat.
I like how the article clarifies that he spends his days “taking care of business,” and only raps at night, once he’s finished doing absolutely nothing. Chet Hanks all sitting in his mansion dorm like a totally normal college student, just waiting for the sun to go down so he can put down the solid gold textbooks he’s been studying from, eat some saffron-infused ramen au vin, and start enjoying himself a little.
Reminds me of the time I saw three frat guys getting their Greek House initials tattooed on their butts about 25 years ago back when it was still considered edgy. Word.
Something about that “Word.” at the end made me snarf/choke on my coffee.
Come on! I can’t believe that now he’s going to be known as a two-tone rap song pioneer when I was just weeks from releasing my Halloween single, “Black & Orange”.
I’m pretty sure there’s already a rap song with ‘Black and Yellow’. I don’t know where I heard it, but I swear it’s real
Wait… so I found the song. It exists and sounds just like one. Did he seriously alter that song to make it fit with his school’s colors?
HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good God, that’s douchey.
Omg, link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UePtoxDhJSw
And even more ripped off from here:
http://soundcloud.com/mogreene/white-purple-nu-anthem-2010
It sounds like it to me. Couldn’t that get Chet in some serious copyright trouble?
1. Does no one here actually know Wiz Khalifa? I thought this was a pop culture blog, and it took this long for one person to recognize the song? Doy.
2. Real rappers do this all the time. I believe it’s called freestyling? Example, Eminem’s “Despicable” is Drake’s “Over”. I don’t know what Chet intends to do with this song, but being privileged he PROBABLY knows how the music industry works and won’t try to capitalize on it. It might be just on a mixtape or some other outlet where he won’t get money for it.
3. I’m interested to know what all the haters think of the original…does the song only suck because Chet Hanks raps over it, or is it an essentially sucky song?
This version is much better than Mr. Hanks’:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipc9rzqX_Jg&feature=player_embedded
I wish I knew Wiz Khalifa! He seems pretty chill. I’d drink OJ with him anytime.
Or some sizzurp.
“White Boy Gon’ BE Purple if he tries this oogity boogity shit in MY hood”
-UofC Grad
“Chet Haze” LOL. The only projects he ever seen were at his junior high science fair. Punk ass bitch.
I had a dream where I was in the conference room and you were [your avatar was] there and you told us to “Gather round the oaken table.” #MLIV
It was all a dream. I used to read Word Up magazine. Salt’n'Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine. I let my tape rock ’til my tape popped. Smokin’ weed and bamboo, sippin’ on private stock.
All I could think about while listening to this: “Chet” practice-rapping “white and purple” three times fast for an embarrassing amount of time (aka any amount of time) in his dorm room.
That’s your school.
Except Northwestern really is my school. Ugh.
Me too! He lived in my dorm (Allison) last year.
This song epitomizes NU’s most important debate of 2011: “Nerdwestern” vs. “Northwasted.” I think it proves we’re better off as nerds.
Have you guys thought about joining forces and becoming Nerdwasted?
I will say one of the most surreal experiences at Northwestern was seeing Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson eating at Norris.
Woo, up votes for NU monsters. On the scale for Northwestern raps, this is ranks above “Fratstar” and below Mo Greene’s.
So my school too. So embarassedgum. But delightgum with the NU monsters I was unaware of. You need to show up to Chicago meetups!
i’m going to respond just for the sake of saying i go here. because i go here! HAZE4LIFE
Holy cripes so many of us!
But seriously, fratstar is the best, because those asses can’t spell, and because who the hell would brag about being the king of the keg? colin was smart to avoid that pitfall
“Ain’t straight laced like Woody here / Smoke enough weed to make me higher than Buzz Lightyear”
Not a single mention of this yet?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT_QRKfv8H4
Color me Dissapointedgum, guys. How’s the end white joke rap movement going to get anywhere with this kind of passiveness? NEVER FORGET.
http://videogum.com/59471/tracing_the_history_of_fake_ra_3/music-related-content/
More like ”White and Bratty” right guys?
I’d like to roll with
the gangsters
But oh well it’s obvious
I’m white and bratty!
If I were Tom and Rita I would convert to Islam just for the honor killing privilege. This shit is embarrassing.
[IMG]http://i1211.photobucket.com/albums/cc437/outsider213/Joaquin-Phoenix.jpg[/IMG]
can someone please tell me how to get photos on this ……………
nevermind
take out the image tags, so that it starts with “http” and ends with “.jpg”
I look forward to seeing this image in my nightmares tonight.
This guy is not amused:
What is up with Colin Hanks? In other news: is Colin Hanks the new Topher Grace? Find out tonight at 8.
Really, he’s just following in Dad’s footsteps:
Tom Hanks is from the East Bay and, if he had raised his kids there, I would be completely unsurprised by this ridiculous “rapper” dream. White kids from the Bay Area love to think they’re street. Going to San Francisco State, I have seen and heard this exact kid a thousand times. Kids there are either Chet Hanks or Ras Trent.
really? he couldn’t have been Chet Danks?
As an employee of a certain university located near a very large lake and a very large Midwestern city whose colors are white and purple white and purple white and purple, I hope my following words carry a certain gravitas: I hope this d-bag gets his ass kicked.
What is it with the name Chet? I know only of one other person named Chet and they were just as insufferable. I guess when you have that name the only thing you can do is douche. And douche HARD.
Nickname for Chester though, which I always associated with nerdiness rather than douchebaggery, myself.
….or molestor.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
I see you Chet!
“get a fucking life and at least attempt at doing something dope, because chet haze is. for sureee.”
adding this to my list of inspirational quotes!
Chet is totally right. I am going to go attempt at doing something dope right now, because I also want to be for sureee. White and purple white and purple white and purple!
I see what you’re saying, and I agree with part of it. There’s no real reason to be so durn mean to Chet Hanks. His dad was Wilson! Come on!
He has every right to rap. And it’s good that he’s NOT rapping about being from the hood. He’s rapping about what he knows. I think it’s just that what he knows is.. you know, college life, and that shit is whack.
Not to mention he’s a biter. That song that someone posted above, the Black and Yellow song, was way better. Somebody noted that ‘real’ rappers do that all the time. Okay. But the rest of the music world calls that shit “copyright infringement’ and “theft.” Call it whatever you want, but I call it weak that Chet decided his FIRST single was going to be a complete ripoff of someone elses shit.
So, if I WERE to hate on young Hanks here, it would be because he’s soooooo fucking unoriginal and boring. But I won’t hate on dear old Chet, because who cares, right? Senor Chet doesn’t care, you don’t care, shit I don’t even care.
WHITEANDPURPLEWHITEANDPURPLEWHITEANDPURPLEWHITEANDPURPLE 4 LYFE.
i stopped because he had me at “white kicks, purple kush.”
Why did Tom Hanks’ son poop in my ears?
HOW COULD TOM HANK’S SPERM PRODUCE SOMETHING SO VILE??????