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Point: “You’re never too young to look bangin.” – Snooki
Counterpoint: “That is not even remotely true. Sometimes you are absolutely too young to look bangin.” – Human Beings with Decency, Self-Worth, and a Moral Code
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Oh Snooki, you so silly.
Of course this exists. Of course it does. Why am I even surprised?
I don’t know whether I want to downvote or upvote here. Either way, I’m going to feel dirty doing so.
RIGHT?! This is super hilarious, but also really scary all at the same time.
Hello?…Fandango?…Yes, two tickets to the end of the world, please….Yes, 2012, you got it!
There is #literally nothing I could say that could follow this.
Except (and I hope thisismynightmare will join me) a round of, “USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!”
You are obliged, my good sir!
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Wait, WHAT? HOW DID I get here?!
I want to believe this was their parents’ idea, putting little kids in terrible Jersey Shore garbage people costumes to freak out all the adults in the neighborhood handing candy out to trick or treaters, and that these kids have not ever seen the show nor do they get the joke their parents have just played on said neighborhood.
I refuse to consider any other possibility.
I prefer to believe that these kids turned on the television during their G.A.T.E. class to find C-SPAN and accidentally caught a glimpse of Jersey Shore. In a moment of anthropological curiosity, they observed these cultural oddities and decided that these Halloween costumes would add a dash of sporting fun to the whole charade. They trick-or-treated for UNICEF and were all accepted to the magnet high schools of their choice.
Stop right there, young lady.
Are you edhardyluvr69? Oh, you were just going to meet up to talk? Please explain the 3 bottles of hypnotic.
But having bangs makes you look years younger so it’s all sort of a wash.
I didn’t know Snooki’s last name is Polanski!
- Snooki, do you have any idea what the phrase ‘bangin’ connotates?
- Um, bangs?
We need to come up with a “The Worst” pyramid, because I find myself applying that title to Gwyneth, Snooki, Sarah Palin, Katherine Chloe Cahoon, Glenn Beck, Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham, etc. to such a degree that I know the can’t all possibly be the Worst because statistically, it would just make them all average.
The only I can be sure is not the worst is Katherine Heigl, as she is and always will be, history’s greatest monster.
And thus begins Videogum’s newest weekly feature, The Hunt For The Worst Person Of All Time.
WE NEED MOAR UPVOTES
i started making this but then i fucked up and now i’m too lazy
katherine heigl is terrible at her job and doesn’t seem to be a nice person, but history’s greatest monster? even in celebrity context, i cannot agree.
i would say snooki (and the cast of jersey shore) is worse than most – famous for being idiots, and getting paid to act this way. actually, whoever thought of jersey shore is the worst, and whoever writes the cast’s paychecks is a close second.
None, however, are higher than every person involved in the creation of Teen Mom. They are all tied for being the worst ever.
that show is also terrible. it’s influence could go either way – does it glamorize teen pregnancy or serve as a cautionary tale?
as an adult, i think it’s scary that these kids are raising kids and their lives look like nightmares. although, a 15 year old might process that differently – “she has a baby and she’s on tv! i should do that”
I have a 10 year old niece and if she ever dressed remotely “bangin” (which doesnt mean “orange”, i guess) I would freak out.
Someone needs a guardian ad litem (it’s Snooki (sorry, been a state court employee for a little too long)).
(My love of parentheticals is the main reason I read Videogum).
‘Snookified’ and ‘Mini-Snookie’. Webster’s, are you paying attention? We have two new contenders.
I thought I got snookified once. It was just jock itch. Lamisil cleared it right up.
Point:
Counterpoint:
I was wondering when this dad from Toddlers & Tiaras was going to make an appearance here!
Monsters, I am too tired to comment tonight. I was working for another composer today, and I forgot that when you work for other people you can’t be on VGum all day. I guess there’s always Thursday, the Thor-i-est day around.
“You’re never too short to look orange.” – Snooki