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“Yeah, I want bangs, who doesn’t?! But as a busy modern person in this crazy MySpace world, I just don’t have time to sit around on my dumb butt waiting for my hair to grow. I’ve got SEXTS to send and RAZR Scooters to ride. BUT I WANT BANGS NOW, GOD DAMN IT ALL. There must be some way to just, like, scotch tape a flop of human hair onto my rashy forehead that looks like kind of shitty straw bangs, like, the bangs from a terrible wig, right? That has to exist. I would pay upwards of $10 to have what amounts to an ugly bangs toupee. The best part would be that it would cover up my unsightly blemishes and my embarrassingly large forehead! Please, world, MAKE IT SO.”
-You
“It is totes so.” – World
Bangs, bangs, bangs! Do you have too many bangs?! (Via DouggPound.)
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BANG!
You’re dead.
Oops – I meant to post this at the end. Sorry!
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I hate this comment so much. Honestly, was ClownCoffee always a troll? I seem to remember him making funny comments and contributing productively to threads. Too bad, I hope he gets it together.
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Yikes.
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This is my bangs
I want to take u to da hairstylist.
Can these designer Bangs meet me on da faceboooooook? I kindly doubt it!
*ahem*…this is OUR Bangs.
If they can’t take me 2 da movies, I’ll pass.
Also, my hairline has started receding lately. This might not be a bad idea somewhere down the road.
“Made from real human hair?”
I think we’ve found a job for all the non golden-throated hobos out there: Bang Harvester
That’s my XBox Live username.
Now I like the name idea, but there’s a problem. That Job Means Something Else, and is Already on Lock by the Best Bang Harvesters in the History of Harvesting Bangs.
Hey, Bang Harvester is already my mom’s nickname down by the docks!
As someone who considers themselves as a ‘bang aficionado*,’ if you will, I have a few comments:
1. I refuse, in the name of all that is good and holy, to believe that there is such a thing as ‘designer bangs.’
2. No one has ever actually referred to side bangs as creative, ever, in the history of everything. Take it back, infomercial.
3. There are some CRAZY EYES going on between about 0:40 and 0:42!
Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your time.
*qualifications – I just made it up, so I call dibs.
Is “bang aficionado” on your resume or do you just use it to pick up strange men at bars?
Yes.
Can you at least admit that clip-on bangs are the worst? They are always falling off!
“The fun pony tail bangs are the most fun thing I’ve ever seen. If I could be half as fun as those, I’d die a happy bangs.”
-My Bangs?
Of course, nothing can go wrong by taping a swatch of hair to your forehead. So fool proof
Kevin Bacon and Carrot Top’s daughter looks years younger!
Carrot Top was in Pauly Shore Is Dead which also featured Sean Penn who was in Mystic River with KEVIN BACON.
the phrase ‘real human hair’ terrifies me, but the word ‘updo’ makes me laugh, so I’m torn on this whole thing.
I like to imagine that the human hair comes from people who want to get a major haircut, but think locks of love is for the weak*.
*actually that makes me sad.
the chris rock documentary “good hair” goes into this topic – the movie is actually pretty good.
he travels to india where, according to his research, women shave their heads in a religious sacrifice, but then their hair is sold to women here. i wonder if these women know that the result of their religious sacrifice is to fulfill someone’s often unnecessary cosmetic needs.
there was also some guy who said that people would steal women’s hair to sell. like cut it off while they were sleeping. yikes!
That is very interesting! Thank you for the information.
I’m growing my hair long right now, but if I ever decide to cut it, my plan is definitely to sell it to a weirdo hair fetishist from the internet. Screw charity!
“Frontal baldness” worries me. It sounds like some freaky disease whereby the frony hemisphere of the body loses all hair but the back hemi is a big ol’ gorilla. Yick.
Also, is that Marg Helgenberger in the sassy short red ‘do? They should really pay her her more on CSI.
Really, though, I think we’ve officially moved on to the post-MySpace era.
Finally, I can stop looking like Larry from the Three Stooges and start looking like Moe from the Three Stooges.
I already have Curly hair
Do you wash it with Shemp-poo?
*I’ll see myself out.
It’s very weird and random, but this reminded me of drug test for a job story my friend once shared with me. He just got hired and he decided to celebrate by drinking and smoking some marijuana with a couple of his friends. He then spoke to someone who already works there and notified him that it’s not a standard urine test, it’s a hair test. Freaked out, he took the time window that he had available and he researched the hell out of passing this test. After a bunch of medication that’s supposed to flush out your system and about a week’s worth of peroxiding, de-peroxiding, and re-peroxiding, the moment of truth finally came. He sat in the chair, sweating (it was actually puss from his scalp), the drug tester reached out to pull a strand of hair only to effortlessly grab a clump of hair. He got the job.
That friend went on to star in such memorable classics as Point Break and Predator 2. See photographic evidence below.
And now you know the rest of the story. Good day!
“I’ve been told by doctors and surgeons that I have the energy of ten men who have normal jobs and detectable bangs.”
Why settle for designer bangs, when you can designer smangs?!
The commercial forgot to mention the bangs can also double as a merkin.
“Makes your junk look like a monk.”
Hahaha. You are ON FIRE today, FLW. I’m not even kidding.
If your merkin is normally that straight?
Sorry, this reminds me of that SNL skit. Kinda grossed me out, but I still laughed of course.
“Get creative with side bangs” and the fivehead girl are the highlights of my day!
I LOVE Huge Forehead Girl!
Honestly, I love sexting.
I think my tennis game would benefit from some new bangs
More like these are my ticket to success and acceptance!
Fun ponytail bangs…how can I resist this genius marketing?
If you’re wondering how they manage to sell these so cheap, it turns out that refills for the instant spray remover go for $499 a pop.
I really want to buy one. I will most likely just put half a bang on the crest of each of my shoulders.
“I’m in the persuasion business, and frankly I’m disappointed by your presentation”
Spider legs?
Yourmom you’re on to something, someone needs to photoshop her bangs onto an Arachnophobia poster.
thanks, but i’m holding out for the designer smangs.
and for the gentlemen, Designer Soul Patch
“Finally, an end to sunburned foreheads.”
Ba-ba-ba-ba-BANGS
Time to grow some Bangs
Ba-ba-ba-ba-BANGS
Ooh, look out, you curl-rollers
“BAAAAAAAAANGS!”
Your royal flyness I dig your….
NO BIG HAIR.
http://tinypic.com/r/33ky8sx/7
“Tape hair to your hair, and voila! Hair!”