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Oof. Is it just me, or is 2011 exhausting? IS IT 2012 YET? You know what is super hot this year: complaining. Right? It’s just fun to do and it is fun to be around and most importantly it is fun to READ. Lolol. Sorry. OK, chins up. We can do this. We’ve done this before and we can do it again. Surely I’m talking about something more challenging and also more important than just making it through one week after another until you’ve made it through the whole year, right? Surely, life is a precious gift granted to each of us and we are going to enjoy it to the absolute extremes of our abilities and not just shuttle through it as quickly as possible with our heads down? OR ARE WE? Well, it’s early yet. Too soon to tell. Let’s just see how this weekend shakes out first. Maybe Country Strong will actually kill us!
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Red Dawn Remake Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
huckabeast | Jan 3rd | Score:63 |
| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Sisyphus Turns 2011 | |||
| #4 |  |
Nate Scott! | Jan 3rd | Score:69 |
| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Sisyphus Turns 2011 | |||
| #3 |  |
Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jan 3rd | Score:69 |
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Life as We Know It for the following reasons: 1) Katherine Heigl is history’s greatest monster |
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| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Sisyphus Turns 2011 | |||
| #2 |  |
Notsewfast | Jan 3rd | Score:69 |
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Over the break, my company internet got cracked down upon and now I’m reading/commenting on Videogum on my phone. I’m like a prison inmate with 3oz of Blog hidden in my rectum. |
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| Posted in: “While We Were Out” Open Thread | |||
| #1 |  |
backwaxer | Jan 5th | Score:75 |
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first rule of trying to stop doing drugs club: move out of amsterdam |
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| Posted in: Videogum Everywhere Mission: Befriend Monica Gebruikt On Facebook | |||
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 |  |
thisismynightmare | Jan 3rd | Score:-19 |
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Citizen Kane….There, I said it! Deal with it Rosebud colored glasses! (See what I did there?) |
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| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Sisyphus Turns 2011 | |||
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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the hammer is my penis | Jan 4th | Score:55 | |
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“Merry Christmas from the Palins” |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It Contest: Red Dawn Remake Cast Photo | |||
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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That One | Jan 6th | Score:47 | |
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He better start working on his radio voice. |
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| Posted in: Man’s House Demolished By Mistake | |||
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FIRST!
Do you have any movie recommendations?
your mom’s home movies?
Are we playing the question game?
What are the rules?
Haven’t you played this before?
Not to be ComplainerGum but my picture got 70 upvotes sir Gabe……
@indiebeans, why are you posting this comment up near the top in this thread when your comment has nothing to do with this discussion? Weak attention starved effort trying to be FIRST? Lame. You are disqualified from monsters ball proceedings now and forever
Gabe calculates MB quite early in the day on Fridays. It’s probable that at the time he figured out the scores, your comment hadn’t hit the threshold yet to be in the top five. Frustrating, I know.
Thanks Werttrew, it’s all good, I was just wondering. I put it up at the top, Steve so someone could see it, so as to explain, and thankfully Werttrew did.
Guys I’m worried about Gabe, maybe this will cheer him up
Things will get better.
No word of a lie, I have a framed poster of that image hanging in my living room. It never fails to cheer me up.
I feel as fuzzy as the baby chick when I look at it.
Lets bring out some high tech cute.
Little Dude is getting the hell out of here, and doesn’t care who he hurts on the way.
that dog is officially invited to be on my bank robbery team. he will be in charge of “the getaway” (am i the only one that daydreams about robbing a bank?)
You think adorable animals have reached an epicness of cute, then a dachshund gif comes along. I love you puppy.
Let me be the first to say, “Congratulations ‘the hammer is my penis,’ you’ve earned it!”
Why, thank you very much Topknot! You’ve made the Hammer blush!
(Based on my name, I could’ve phrased that very differently. But I think I made the right choice)
The days of little Ed notes after “Monsters Ball” winners are gone, my friends. Life is a little darker this new year
“Congratulations Videogum, You deserved it!”
~Gabe
Fixed.
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Keenans lip dubbing off the shoulder of The Jersey Shore. I watched Heavy Metal Penguins glitter in the dark near the Paltrow Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like direct to DVD movies about Oujia boards, directed by McG. … Time to blog.” — Gabe
Quite an experience to live in fear, isn’t it? That’s what it is to be a slave.
“He say you a Blog Runner!”
Congrats you ballers!
See you guys on monday!
http://www.gifbin.com/983808
Dance gif thread!
Weekend time! Everyone get excited!
Remember Keyboard Cathy? She’s playing in New Hope PA. this Sunday. How do I know this? She’s My Facebook friend. Jealous? http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=177995985566075
I’m so sad, no VGum all weekend!
This week was awful, work & weather & everything.
2011 can only get better!
what chesty said
Hang in there, Gabe! Something distractingly weird and hilarious is just around the corner!
happy tooth ouch and eleven, you guys!
#dadjokes!
I think I have discovered what will become my niche here at videogum. Every Friday I will ask a random question to all of you monsters called the monster question. I,ll start it off with a pretty straightforward one.
What is your favourite .gif?
My favorite .gif is the hilarious .gif someone else just posted that reminded me how great it is and that I should really learn how to save and also reproduce .gifs at a moment’s notice because it’ll quickly convey not only my sense of humor but my good taste in stuff. But I never do.
This was the week of my new favorite music video of all time. That guy=me.
Oh, can we complain? Just a little?
All I want to know is, who’s the genius who decided to make the biggest conference in my profession the first week of January, a time of year when left to myself I would prefer to eat some cake and take a nap.
/complaining
But really, 2011 has been pretty good to me thus far. For example, a lady danced with great joy to a terrible song on a TV show, thus giving that joy to me. Plus, I made what I believe to be my highest-voted comment of all time. Personal best. Hooray for 2011!
CES or AVN?
Ha, neither. APAP.
Dear Frank Lloyd Wrong, sadmalandar, DirtySpaceNews, youfuckedjeff, rootmarm, and aunt martha, I noticed on the “High on Crack Street: Lost Lives in Lowell” post some of you had some familiarity with Lowell (or at least NE). As Lowell’s monster ambassador here on VG I am formally inviting you all to come visit so we can hang out! Promise I’ll protect you from the drug addicts!
Signed, someone bored and sad because most of the monsters here have moved away,
Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood
I will be near Mill City in the next month or so. I cheerfully accept.
Is it too late to say that Chelmsford is the poor man’s Lowell? Because it totally is.
I am going to be in Boston and Providence next week but do not have Lowell in my itinerary (like everyone else taking a vacation). but if I’m in the neighborhood some day I’ll alert you. friends are nice!
I am but a few hours drive! Who knows, might be fun.
Yay! I’ve been wanting to get another NE monster meet-up together, but I’m not sure who’s still around here/gonna be around at a certain time. I’d be cool to meet some of you guys!
Alas, I moved from worcester to NY (and have regretted it ever since) 4 years ago so i can not attend in body, but i want you to know my spirit will be there
Well, looks like all I need for my EGOT is Editor’s Choice. I AM LOOKING AT YOU, GABE!
Just to clarify, I don’t really think Citizen Kane is the worst movie, just the most overrated movie.
Lets play the controversial overrated movie game:
There Will Be Blood
Shakespeare in Love
Fargo
Love Actually
Lost In Translation
Oh, I could play that game ALL DAY.
Forrest Gump
Crash
Old School
Batman (The 1989 Tim Burton one)
40 Year Old Virgin
Pretty much anything directed by Ron Howard. Or Clint Eastwood.
Usual Suspects
Gummo
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
??????????
Son of a bitch, Photobucket.
GUMMMNNOOOO!?!?
Anything with Rings or Lord in the title.
So, Lord of War and The Postman Always Rings Twice?
I thought the American remake of The Ring was pretty solid.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Meatballs
Chocolat
Good Burger
3 Musketeers-wait. What are we playing?
Lost.
Lost is not a movie you fucking moron
Don’t you call Napoleon Complex a moron, you shitface ass-head!
I’m sorry, I love you Napoleon Complex and I would never bad mouth you, but for some reason I literally laughed out loud so hard when I read this exchange. You are not a moron, but it was funny.
I loled too. “Shitface ass-head” is the best insult.
Thank you for defending my honor, KajusX & Chainsaws/principal enchman!
Steve Winwood has a point though, Lost is not a movie.
Yeah it is: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406942/
@KajusX: Who?
HEY GUYS! Guess who’s nearly back to a normal schedule after six weeks of no medication, because the county inexplicably dropped her from her poor-people-without-dependents insurance and apparently ate my reapplication! Now with 100 percent fewer antidepressants! Funny things are HILARIOUS; sad things are DEVASTATING; and sleep only happens between 4 and 11 a.m.! GUESS WHO!
IT’S ME! And I missed you all!
I miss your avatar as it was familiar and comforting. I know people have been bitching about this all week but the avatar changing is a bit much for my limited brain powers to handle.
I am glad you are feeling better!
Which one? Baby Eliot Spitzer, or Toughen Up, America? New avatars are so confusing.
Baby Eliot Spitzer sounds like something Stefon would talk about
He makes the best sad face.
http://trendpiece.blogspot.com/2009/05/eliot-spitzer.html
Nooo, meaverly! I’m glad to see you back but I am sorry to hear about your medication problems
I’m so glad I am on my parents’ insurance because otherwise I WOULD BE LITERALLY DEAD HOORAY.
If it helps, you’re awesome and hilarz so there’s no need to be depressed. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Good job not being dead, little Napoleon! Did you know that Napoleon Bonaparte, your namesake and my relation, was actually about 5’7″? The British caricatured him as a tiny emperor and as they won, that’s the reputation that stuck! AMAZING FACTS.
I KNOW it’s crazy! 5’7” was like average height in those days. But apparently he had a really, really little penis. Like 1-inch long. It was in my history textbook.
[Whenever I hear the name Napoleon I assume people are talking about me even though it's not even my real name. So right now it felt like I was attributing a tiny penis to myself. IT'S OKAY I'M A LADY MINE IS NON EXISTANT.]
Can I just add that my friend went as “Neopolitan Complex” for Halloween (he wore brown pants, bore his midriff – which was extremely white, and wore a cropped pink jacket, and then rocked a Napoleon hat and a sword) and I thought of you? Which is sort of weird?
Also nobody got his costume and all guesses were either “gay pirate” or “butt pirate.” But I thought his idea was clever!
The Penises of World Leaders. Is this part of some GWB-related education initiative? Or somehow the fault of the Texas School Board?
Cecil Adams has more on the hot topic of Napoleon’s penis: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2487/what-happened-to-napoleons-penis
tl;dr: A (tiny) object has circulated for decades as the famous organ, but there is no evidence that it is Napoleon’s, or even a penis.
Hahahahha HeyThat’sMyBike I was actually thinking of making that a costume! Sounds like your friend’s idea was better/great.
This year for Halloween I’m either going as Leila from Futurama or Eddie Vedder.
Meaverly, I just want to say that this comment made me laugh so much. I love* those moments in the abstract haze of depression where the funniest thing in the world is your own depression.
*I know “love” is a strange word to use in that context, but depression can be your best friend! You can hate him when it sticks around too long and you can miss him when he hasn’t called for a while. I call mine Gary.
I just realized that kitten has been dead for years. Oh hi, Gary!
Goddammit, you inconsistent pronouns! Gary’s gonna have a field day with this…
I wish I could get everybody in a football-esque huddle, say “Okay, good week, good week! Way to work on the defense! Don’t forget to just have fun out there, you guys!” Then we’d call clap and I’d get to touch all your bums.
*wishes*
Group Hug
Those men’s behinds look like well-roasted chicken.
Tag yourself.
Dammit! I was robbed on all counts. I was 99% sure I was going to make a straight sweep. Oh well.
It’s cool KajusX. I made it closer than ever before, and still my dreams were dashed aside. Oh life.
Bah! Double gif FML!!
Double Cillian all the way across my computer!*
*just a regular Friday night
Am I seeing double? FOUR Cillian Murphys?
Hypothesis: 2011 is a disappointment because we’re all waiting for the other Mayan shoe to drop next year. Almost 2012 tiiiime!
“But dude, taking 2012 quasi-seriously is SO 2009.”
Uh-uh, fuck that noise. 2012 is a thing until 2013. And even then, maybe.
I was in a dollar store buying RC Cola on my lunch break (#mlit) and I was privy to this exchange between a girl of about seven and her mother:
girl: mommy, the world is going to end in 2012
mommy: oh hush sweetie, not it isn’t
girl: YES IT IS
mommy: good, that means you’ll be dead in a year.
HAPPY NEW WEEK EVERYBODY
I’m curious to see if next week Gabe ends up filing the Country Strong experience under Movie Club, WMOAT, or Taking One for the Team. Or this could just be a clever set up to get all three out of the way in one post.
I willingly went to see Country Strong last night and ENJOYED it. In my defense, I hate Gwenny but LOVE movies about SINGING! Anywhoozlebees, I still want Gabe to rip this movie a new one.
2nd post ever, so surely I’ll get it wrong.
Paw to finger, people, paw to finger.
Oh man, huge. I didn’t get it wrong, but I GOT IT WRONG. I’ll go back to my constant lurking. Thanks for playing.