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Dad Rule #1: You don’t have to have a lot of jokes, but make sure to repeat the jokes you do have over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
It gets kind of weird when the girls are clearly almost 30, right? Like at first they’re all 11 years old and you’re just like, oh, daaaaaad. Get out of my Senate chamber! But then near the end of the video it’s like, wait, are you even teasing them at this point, or just openly sexualizing them and placing an unwanted spotlight on their personal lives in front of their well-connected family members? Yikes, Joe Biden. Know your audience, Chuckles! (Via BuzzFeed.)
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Jokes My Dad Makes
And makes again, and again, and again, and again, and again…
Get a new joke Biden!
I mean Dad!
I cantaloupe, I’m married!
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Well, I got two more years I guess until I can go on my first date.
Eww. Nobody wants to hear about their mom dating.
Your mother has needs too.
Double eww!
my mom used to actually tell me those things…in real life, its like infinite eww.
When they all wake up as Jennifer Garner tomorrow it won’t work as well
No jokes til you’re president, ok Biden?
Did some research guys! That son of a bitch got married at 24! Clearly someone doesn’t practice what he preaches.
No, no, no. Only LADIES cannot date til they’re 30. Dudes can do whatever!
#bitterandsickgum
Did some more research. Apparently Joe and Neilia met while on spring breack in ’64. And married a couple years later. So, my guess is that hoe was dating way before 30. Also, she’s dead so I’m sorry for calling her a hoe.
whoa that’s a much bigger hoe than i expected!
sorry about that.
LOLS!
But seriously RIP Neilia. (WTF kinda name is Neilia?)
TWHS
Still, this is way more funnier than American Dad.
This is like My Mississippi Joke and the variations thereof that I spin-off –
“I liked Mississippi back when she was Ms. Stevens,” and
“Mr. Ssippi can be a real dick sometimes,” and
“People from Mississippi are dumb,”
You know, Jokes.
“No dates until… I mean, wear a skirt that covers your ass when meeting the Vice President.” – Joe Biden
That hasn’t stopped him before!
“I’m actually pretty cool with this.”
To be fair, at least it was his “A preist, black guy, and chinaman walk into a bar…” joke.
Err, “wasn’t.” It WASN’T that joke. *sigh*
“Hey, I know that joke. That’s a good joke.”
Breaking news: Joe Biden just announced that he his now being sponsored by white New Balance sneakers and mock turtlenecks.
here, since Bing is gone, I’ll provide the first perplexing dichotomy of the day
LOL (Laughing Out of a Littlebitofdiscomfort)
Because fucking is a really big deal. #paraphrasingJoeBiden
Girls!
Joe, does this mean I have to wait 6-7 years to date you? Drat!
America’s Dad OR America’s Real-Life Batman Villain?
And the Great VP-Off rolls on! (The Great VP-Off does not roll on.)
Let’s just hope no one ever tells him about vajazzling.
“Just remem– Hey, come back over here. Just remember: No dates ’til you’re 30, heh. Now come scooch in here next to me with my arm around your waist. Scooch in there, sweetheart. Scooch. Closer. There we go, heh.” – Joe Biden: America’s creepy uncle.
If he’s my dad I guess I can expect to find Joe Biden pretending to cry in a ploy to get extra ham this Easter?
The way my romantic life is going, I might be 30 before I get a date (and I’m a dude)
#CatharsisGum
If there’s one thing I want to hear from a woman, it’s “I’m 30, and you’re my first date.”