Photos
Hank Azaria’s body in Along Came Polly is weird, right? Do we all agree on that? At the very least, we can agree that it is unexpected. If I can’t get a flat-out “weird” I will take a mumbled “surprising, for sure.” (Admittedly, there is no way to know if Hank Azaria still has his Along Came Polly body. The technology just isn’t there, yet. One day, of course, we will all carry around tiny computers in our pockets that provide us with instant updates on what Hank Azaria’s body is like at any given time.) Am I bringing up Hank Azaria’s body in Along Came Polly to avoid having to confront the painful image of a whole new year of terrible movies stretching out ahead of us like Cormac McCarthy Blvd. (On that note, have any local governments named any stretches of local highway “Cormac McCarthy Road” because they should. That would be funny. Aren’t there any other pointless digressions we can go on? Please?) Fine. Let’s do this. As is the new method of conducting business, the next round of Hunt movies will be selected from THIS comment thread and announced next week, so if you have a suggestion, make it HERE. But before you do, please consider again the Official Rules:
- It cannot be intentionally horrible.
- It must have at least one A- or B-list movie star in it. (No “outsider art.”)
- It cannot be Glitter. (Or Crossroads.)
- It has to have had a theatrical release.
- It must be available on Netflix.
- No matter how bad the movie, it cannot be based on a popular superhero.
- No musicals.
- No Robin Williams movies (Note: In a lead role. Supporting roles will be considered on a case by case basis)
- Only one Nicolas Cage movie per “round.”
- No children’s movies.
- Gabe is the boss.
Please also consider the previous nominees. No double up. See you in hell!
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I would like to nominate Eagle Eye. Because it is the worst.
It also made no sense.
There are so many amazingly bad moments in Eagle Eye! Glorious. What this person said. Please do Eagle Eye.
Co-signed. Eagle Eye is techno-The Happening,
The Other Sister. So so awful.
Please Give aka Insufferable Rich Assholes Experience Guilt
Oh yes. This movie is why the phrase “being white is hard” exists.
still with you on this. ok movie. but definitely interesting list material. upvotes people!
Oh, please. Give me a break.
There is no A or B list star in this.
Catherine Keener + Oliver Platt + Amanda Peet = Good enough for me
Speaking of Amanda Peet, anyone see Igby Goes Down? Horrible movie. I nominate it. Depressingly unpleasant, misogynistic, and it’s all about more sad white folks.
Marie Antoinette aka Insufferable Rich Assholes Experience No Guilt, only Confusion.
But what about the Radio Dept. soundtrack?
Please Give aka Two-Hundred Dollar Jeans Bring Everybody Happiness
Agreed! The trailer for this made me think it might be the answer to the awful “Being White is Hard” genre, but it turned out to be the actual epitome of the genre. So much for my hopes of a mocking send-up.
Rollerball, please!
Oh, sir, we’d be ever so happy if you would do Rollerball!
Which one?
LL Cool J all the way!
Please Give aka Every Black Man With a Beard is Homeless LOL
Please Give aka Volunteering At Nursing Homes is Overwhelming
whoa, you were serious
A list of all the films previously covered for WMOAT:
http://mobfd.blogspot.com/2010/11/worst-movie-of-all-time-complete-list.html
The big nerd I am, I turned this into an GoogleDoc spreadsheet:
https://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AgmxereIX6_GdDhldGhhQl9KYXdKV3RCRTlHODA0cXc&hl=en&authkey=CI6IgJgC
Oh my goodness Gangy… I think I’m in love/lust.
No prob
Also, I wasn’t sure about the privacy settings but I’m willing to open them so anyone can edit. What do you guys think?
When I came along this comment was downvoted by 2. Um….what?
In other news, thanks for putting together this awesome list, Gangy!
To be fair, Werttrew gathered the info & I just copy & pasted.
And to be fairer, poor Gabe was the one who sat through 89 terrible movies.
Gangy I am so honored to have complimentary pics with you.
Haha, for a hot second, I changed my twitter avatar to the same one as yours (but then I was tempted away by angry Leslie Knope)
Whoa. That is a lot of bad movies.
In the mix
“In the end, all’s fair in love and gangster warfare in this hip, romantic comedy” Starring Usher.
The Lovely Bones, though I have a feeling Gabe might dq it just bc he hated the book & press leading up to it. I almost feel guilty nominating it but DAMN is it a bad movie.
Couldn’t agree more. Lovely Bones is horrifically bad. It must be covered.
Reality Bites. Up to and including the title. Get a job, hippies!
Baby Friday, you’ve wounded me with this nomination. Wounded me.
Hot debate.
I think instead of this being a WMOAT, you and I should debate this Crossfire style on MOBFD
Team Friday. What a horrible movie.
As we have discussed previously, I concur with Baby Friday. This movie is so gross on so many levels.
However, I do love the part where Janine Garofalo says “P-Flag. I’m beginning to like the sound of that.” in her Midwestern mom voice.
Jabberwocky, I agree completely that that moment nearly (so nearly!) saves the movie.
Here is a gift for you, my fellow Newsie fan/pape-ster:
I know we have agreed in the past (Fight Club sucks, you guys), I just can’t get behind this nomination.
I am with you on Fight Club, and that is what really matters. #reasonfortheseason
Once upon a time in my undergraduate social theory class, I used Fight Club as an example of Freudian theory in pop culture. The professor read it out loud in class. Thus, Fight Club is about at the college sophmore level of profundity, but does not go beyond.
I must have skimmed over the section in the movie-rulebook where movies have to ascend a certain level of profundity to have worth and/or not be the worst. That being said, I have listened to all too many intellectual stoners ascribe way too much importance to Fight Club, so I support you.
I resubmit my previous nomination for The Quiet. You will have fun hating that movie and I will have fun reading it. Do it.
Iz u rilly a showbiz pizza robot?
Life as We Know It for the following reasons:
1) Katherine Heigl is history’s greatest monster
2) The plot borders on ludicrous this side of a Scooby-Doo cartoon (Our firends are dead and now we have to live in their mansion. Traa-laaa.)
3) The give you Joan Holloway in the beginning only to cruelly snatch (heh) her away in the first 10 minutes
4) I saw this in the theater (No, I didn’t lose a bet) and the woman behind me kept letting out a guttural moan every time Josh Duhamel took his shirt off. I know this isn’t the movies problem, but that sound it etched into my mind. MY MIND!
“Life As We Know It on DVD” has replaced the proverbial lump of coal as the Christmas present for bad people in my household.
Also, my wife and I have had a few discussions about who our two hottest friends are. Just in case we die at the same time, we have to know who we should posthumously force to live together in our apartment.
I support this nomination. I work at a discount movie theater and we are playing this movie now. Now, I never watch any of the movies that go through my theater because they are mostly childrens movies and anything like this but recently we had a sound problem in the theater playing this movie and was forced to not only watch an hour of this movie but endure the jokes my customers said when the sound went out. Gabe please do this and help exorcise my demons.
Man I really like all of your arguments for this movie, but I have never had the misfortune of seeing it. I would like to support you guys, but in the film’s stead I must nominate:
Demon Hunter, starring Sean Patrick Flannery as a half demon/half human titular character, one who “hunts his own kind for a God that hates him just so he doesn’t hate himself,” also he works at behest of the Catholic Church, an organization that the movie reveals to be secretive and cunning, which toes the line between good and evil but is ultimately the greatest force for good Earth has.
First time I read this post I saw “Deer Hunter.” Phew, b/c that movie is the fucking best. This Demon Hunter business does sounds terrible though.
This sounds like an excellent movie to watch with a case of wine and a few obnoxious friends.
This may be too Captain Obvious, but the Bounty Hunter. Even my mom couldn’t finish it, and she loves anything that has to do with Jenifer Aniston or cliched romantic comedies.
I have to agree although I can’t say if the whole movie is bad because I only made it through the first 10 minutes or so. So if there is a for sure the first ten minutes are bad category this wins!
Who’s Your Caddy?
Factory Girl! Factory Girl! Factory Girl! Factory Girl! Factory Girl! Factory Girl! Factory Girl! Factory Girl!
As a diehard Ricky Gervais fan, I feel very comfortable nominating, “The Invention of Lying.”
Never before has such a talented cast, with such great intentions, produced such pure and total shit.
what was the ricky gervais one where he sees ghosts and kristen wig is in it? do you know what movie I’m talking about? that was TERRIBLE suck ass shit
Gummo.
Ghost Town
Seconded! Truly, The Titanic of our time.
The ship, not the movie. But while were on the subject, I formally nominate Titanic, because Celine Dion.
I second your nomination for Titanic…but Celine Dion isn’t even the tip of the iceberg on this one (see what I did there?)…
Reasons to nominate Titanic:
- “Jack”, “Rose”, “Rose”, “Jack”, “Jack!”, “Rose”, “Rose” “Rose”, “Jack.”
- 3 hour long movie and it takes 2 of those hours to get to the ship sinking.
- One of the most tragic events in the 1900′s and the best they could come up with was a romance story?
- Kathy Bates not having a bigger role.
- My Heart Will Go On.
- “I’ll never let go Jack.”
- People actually cried while watching this.
I gotta say no way that is WMOAT. It’s uneven, and a bit disappointing, but it’s just not up (down) to snuff for this competition.
this movie is absolutely the stuff this competition was made for. it aims high and misses completely. i saw it in a silent but full theater and it was excruciating to watch so many comedians i love embarrass themselves so badly. AWFUL.
I remember that. It was called “Awful Ricky Gervais Ghost Movie,” or something. Sucked giant ass.
I just realized something: Ricky Gervais is this hugely talented guy yet he can’t star in a decent movie to save his life. And Steve Carrell, who plays his equivalent in the Americanized sitcom of his most known work, is ALSO a hugely talented guy who can’t star in a decent movie to save his life. What does it all meeean? I don’t know, but I think the answer lies somewhere in Steven Merchant.
That Invention of Lying is nothing more than Left Behind for Atheists. I get it Gervais, the “there is no god” jokes were funny, you are funny, the cast was great -I have a picture of Karl in my wallet- but did you really have to sit your cast down in the most condescending, South Parkish way possible?
That is exactly what I said when I saw it! Left Behind for Atheists! So heavy-handed. WMOAT it please!
With all due respectgum, you are all confusing “Ghost Town,” a horrible piece of cow dung, with “Invention of Lying,” which is only slightly bad, like day old yogurt.
It’s totally the other way around: “Ghost Town” was surprisingly good (Greg Kinnear is very likeable!) while “Invention of Lying” was surprisingly awful. That entire screenplay is like, we get it Ricky, you have a lot of feelings.
Agreed. Ghost Town was actually a pretty decent, fun flick. After Invention of Lying, I had to apologize to all my friends for dragging them along. Bad recommendation from FirstShowing.
Also agreed. Ghost Town is an unconventional romantic comedy in that it is not just total garbage. Otherwise, it is a conventional romantic comedy. Some people are under the impression that Ricky Gervais is not allowed to make conventional romantic comedies. This is an error.
i’d just like to submit some evidence for the prosecution of Ghost Town:
last lines:
Girl: It hurts when I smile.
Gervais: I can fix that.
*roll credits*
I had to sign up for an account just to reply to this. Ghost Town is funny! And sweet! Tea Leoni, Kinnear, they’re all good. And those last lines ARE funny, becuase Gervais’s character IS A DENTIST.
Yes, came in here to nominate this movie as I have the past two rounds, so this post is me officially *lending my support*. It is precisely what WMOAT was made for. This movie supposes itself to be intelligent and even daring, and by its premise alone it definitely seems like it could be. In execution however it was heavy-handed and simplistic, insulting in a way I could literally feel in my gut (I should maybe mention now that I was on a 12 hour flight when I saw it, and this sick feeling could have had something to do with that… [IRREGARDLESS!!]).
Oh, not to mention that even aside from those issues (which are obviously BIG issues in any film), the film seems very confused about what exactly its basic conceit is, and gets so muddled in this regard I can’t imagine Ricky spent more than a weekend writing and then decided to not look at it again until it was too late.
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I smell an EGOT play.
Although I do not support your nomination, I support your bravery in nominating it.
Although I do not support your nomination, I will defend your right to nominate it.
Chutzpah, thy name is thisismynightmare.
I disagree, but respect.
DOWNVOTE HER!!!
I think you’re great, but…no.
Oh yeah! Well I nominate The Big Lebowski!
(I’m on to you, thisismynightmare)
If were gonna nominate a cohen brothers movie, can we nominate this?
Prom Night (2008 version). Stringer Bell + dozens of mirror scares + the titular prom being attended by approximately 25 high school kids.
I liked that Detective Stringer Bell’s partner was Ziggy Sobotka. (That was the only thing I liked.)
The Lovely Bones (aka Icicles Vs Stanley Tucci)
I Love You, Beth Cooper
Rent (I know, I know, no musicals, but it really is the worst)
Reality Bites (no movie, YOU bite)
and, as always, Running With Scissors (aka I Hate You, Ryan Murphy)
I will second Reality Bites.
News flash: capturing an apathetic generation on film does not mean you get to stop writing the movie halfway through!
I never watched Running with Scissors because I hated the book so damn much. It goes beyond Worst Movie…
I second I Love You, Beth Cooper. The worst high school comedy ever. It tried to be the new Can’t Hardly Wait and failed miserably.
Bad Boys 2, please. Because shit–quite specifically–does not get real in that thing.
Splice. I hate splice so much. So so so much.
As much as I hate Splice, I don’t know if I can do that to Gabe. What have his eyes ever done to me?
I second that, I have never felt so angry as the day I realized splice received a 74% on rotten tomatoes. BOOOOOO
Why do Splice when the source material (Species, obvi) is also a terrible, terrible movie.
ha, that movie was HILARIOUS. I made my husband take me to see it when I was five months pregnant with twins. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.
Agreed that Splice is hilarious but I really enjoyed it in spite of itself. I saw it with two of my friends and just sat there with the “I can’t believe this is actually happening in this move right now” face on for two hours. We eventually got the whole theater laughing along with us. Splice is stupid, gross, and violent but SO GOOOD.
splice splice splice splice splice splice splice splice splice splice.
A tension-filled love triangle between two unappealing nerds* and their bald, spike-tailed, rape-prone, murderous gravelly voiced, mutant adopted daughter. GROSS. Also they name their bald, spike-tailed, rape-prone, murderous, gravelly-voiced mutant adopted daughter “Dren,” because that is “Nerd” spelled backwards. HOW VERY CUTE. Also I think it is a commentary on abortion and how professional women have mixed feelings about having babies? MY SOUL NEEDS A BATH.
*Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley are unappealing nerds in this movie, because that is the power of Splice.
Completely with you on this. Worst pseudo-scientific, melodramatic crap of a movie I’ve had the displeasure of seeing this year.
YES. So much hate. That movie still traumatizes me to this day and I saw it a year ago.
Umm. Please.
YES YES a million times YES! I couldn’t even make it through the whole thing. And the fact that they had the audacity to come out afterwards and be like, “Oh yeah, it was all a gag. Te he, get it?”
Fuck you, Jaquin. Fuck you, Casey. Fuck you, Diddy and FUCK YOU DAVID LETTERMAN!!!
“You mad.” – everyone
“Yes, I know.” – me
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
YES. This showed up on Netflix Watch Instantly over the weekend and when you watch it knowing it is fake you just end up yelling “THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?” at your TV over and over like a crazy person.
On the other hand it did inspire me to create this
(which I posted earlier so I’ll just link it) and printing and mailing that card was quite possibly the best thing I did all Christmas.oops I tried to just link it but the comments saw through my “a href” shenanigans – sorry!
Would this count as intentionally horrible?
possibly.
Okay, I’ll say it. The Edward James Olmos rain drop speech cracked me up. As did watching Olmos nod solemnly as Phoenix raps enthusiastically to him. So say we all.
please, please, PLEASE do this so i can know your take. i just saw it in a little theater and i have major problems with it. but i also didn’t? but really i do.
I actually enjoyed I’m Still Here, so shoot me. Criticizing it because its fake doesn’t seem entirely valid, i mean, its a mockumentary?
I nominate the 2010 film adaptation of The Nutcracker. I didn’t see it but the SF Chronicle reviewer wrote: “Imagine watching Tchaikovsky’s ballet after taking a handful of peyote – on a day when all of the dancers call in sick and the orchestra decides to play a different set of the composer’s works.” And that gave me the lolz.
Weird butterfly effect-ness: If anyone saw Roger Ebert’s surprising thumbs up review of Jack Black’s “Gulliver’s Travels”, his entire argument for that movie was basically, “Hey, at least it’s not as bad as the recent ‘Nutcracker 3D’.” No lie. He says something along the lines of at least “Gulliver” won’t frighten your children and has no holocaust references! Thanks for lowering the bar, “Nutcracker 3D”.
Remember Me: a 9/11 tearjerker starring Robert Pattenson. C’mon! But I guess since it has him in it, does that automatically make it a children’s movie? Because no adult would want to see him be a mopey face for an hour and a half?
Running With Scissors: dysfunctional families! Oh boy! HIllarity……..not! (Timeless Borat reference!)
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: Kate Hudson? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. She’s right up there with Gwyneth in terms of awfulness.
Thumbs up for Remember Me. I’ve never laughed so hard at something so inappropriate.
I support the Remember Me nomination, the twist was 9/11. It was so ridiculous it actually blew my mind, like DHC I chuckled for several hours afterwards. It’s my go to worst movie. The film encompasses the trifecta of WMOAT material: (rich) white people problems, misplaced earnestness, and Robert Pattinson.
His sister gets her hair cut by bullies and they act like she died drawing blinds and speaking in hushed melodramatic tones. ugh
thumbs up how to lose a guy. AWFULLLLLLL. also, frost yourself.
I started an account simply so I could join the support for Remember Me. It is the definition of “too much.”
I nominate Broken Arrow and Deadfall (if only one Nic Cage movie can be picked this round, this one deserves it!)
Let’s see if my comments will work for the new year…
Tim Burton’s ALICE IN WONDERLAND
I just watched this yesterday and it is the worst thing ever.
Guys! Guys! My comments seem to be working again!
FOZZY’S BACK IN THE HOUSE, YA’LL!!!!
But more on the ALICE IN WONDERLAND point, it’s really awful. The performances are terrible (even Johnny Depp), the story is misguided, there are so many forced bits that you spend basically the last third of the movie cringing at how bad and awkward it is. At the center is the trademark Tim Burton dark whimsy, but it’s shitty ideas that are recycled from CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY–a slightly better crapfest than this–and you just want to be like, “Go to bed and stop tarnishing your legacy, Tim Burton.”
It’s a bad movie.
I know! I went in expecting silly poems and witty banter, what I got was Anne Hathaway in a poorly conceived role delivering weak dialog in a sub-par English accent. All the callbacks to the old Disney movie amounted to little more than “Wasn’t that cool?”
“That caterpillar says ‘WHO R U’ with smoke rings. He had some exchange with Alice that was somewhat clever and amusing, but lets just use the smoke letters.”
The worst part of Burton’s Alice in Wonderland movie is how much it completely misses the fucking point. Even ignoring how obviously half-assed the scrupt was, the “action movie epic battle” at the end of the movie was completely unnecessary and dumb. The attempts to add “Realism” (“Underland”, Alice explaining everyone’s problems to them one by one at the end of the damn movie) were even worse.
Alice in Wonderland is a must for the WMOAT.
Echoing Sweet Home Alabama and Garden State, which I just assumed were already done.
I nominate MILK. Not because I think it’s the worst movie, but it is a total piece of Oscar-bait.
Oh please do Garden State. That movie is so horrible.
Takers comes to Netflix on 1/18. More Stringer Bell, unfortunately more Hayden Christensen as well.
The woooooorst.
Garden State.
Yes! Please! This is the movie creating the unbearable and now commonplace character known as “attractive quirky girl.” BLECK BLECK BLECK
YES- the more we talk about the awfulness of Garden State, the more likely it might be reviewed…?
let’s just attack the entire manic-pixie-dream-girl as a modern archetype
So your hypothesis is that you can draw a direct line from Garden State to (500) Days of Summer. I knew I should be blaming Zach Braff for more things.
By the way, nice Gookie.
Yes please! This epitomizes the “lots of weird random quirky stuff happens, so hey, look how deep and meaningful we all are, even though there is zero meaning to be found” genre of filmmaking.
Also this exposed America to the Shins, only a couple years after the shins actually became popular.
Ugh – remember Zack Braff crying in the bathtub? I’m sensitive usually, but BLECH.
I have two nominations. I throw my support behind each of them, as they are both horribly crappy.
First, I nominate Mirrors, featuring Keifer Sutherland. It’s awful in so many ways.
And…Sweet Home Alabama. Why? Because there has to be a reason why I hate this movie when every other woman I know loves it.
re: Sweet Home Alabama
but i really want a sand-lightning-glass sculpture thingy!
(upon googling them… not exactly real. sad. i also nominate this movie for creating and then killing my sculpture desire)
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I’m not sure new movies count for this since they are not on Netflix yet (werttrew?) But once they are, I’m nominating Black Swan along with you. (spoiler alert) It’s basically the same movie he’s ever made, the man is The AC/DC of movies & his shtick is getting tired.
yeah, I figured it’s in theaters, and by the time THFTWOAST 2011 kicks off, maybe netflix.
but yeah, total oof-fest. loved to see people who called SPLICE garbage come out and praise BLACK SWAN as “art”.
black swan wasnt even a story, it was just a series of “psyche!” out scenes. Did she just cut her hand up bad while clipping her fingernails? PSYCHE! You were tricked in to thinking that because that is what Aronofsky just showed you. Is someone watching her in the bathtub? PSYCHE! again, because you were tricked. Idiot!
what black swan needed was to have the camera pan over each time to show aronofsky sitting in his director chair with a stupid grin on his face and have him go, “Ahhh? PSYCHE!” He’s a grown ass man with multi million dollar budget and THIS is the movie he chooses to make and all the critics are jizzing themselves over this bullshit. No wonder Rachel Weisz dumped his ass. Yes James Bond had something to do with it but given how lame black swan is she’d probably have dumped him for me.
“loved to see people who called SPLICE garbage come out and praise BLACK SWAN as “art”.”
Kinda like how Gabe is a total hypocrite for not liking The Curious Case of Benjamin Button while loving Lost.
Steve, of course it was a story. It was the story of a pretty little perfectionist losing her mind. Nothing more, nothing less. Were you expecting Wire-level plotting? It’s a small subjective character study and I think it’s incredibly effective at that. All the little “psyche” moments were made to feel real to us because they were real to Nina. It’s pretty clear a moment later that no one was watching her in the tub. It’s more than a little clear that she’s not turning into a fucking swan. It’s a Cronenberg body-nightmare set in the world of ballet.
Obviously, it didn’t work for some people, but for me it was a crazy balancing act that played to the strengths of everyone involved. Even if you hated the film itself, can you deny that Portman’s performance is like something from another planet? Her mannered sheepishness, the nervous tension behind her eyes, that moment after the SPOILER stabbing before she goes out to become the Black Swan – Jesus, that transformation alone earns her all the accolades she’s rightfully been given. For me, it’s probably the best performance since Laura Dern in Inland Empire.
I can totally understand not caring for Black Swan. It’s not for everyone, and the surprising praise it’s received can amplify any dislike. Still, you can’t deny the craft and skill that’s on display here. One of my favorites of the last few years.
the fact you admit that you actually like inland empire proves you just lost this little commentator skirmish. Sleep tight.
Goodnight, Steven.
Upvote upvote upvote!
(that was to That One btw)
Steve, what do you mean Black Swan wasn’t a story? Have you ever heard/seen Swan Lake? What happens in the movie is exactly the same as the ballet.
Hm. I think I need clarification from you. I for one loved Black Swan, and hated Splice. I see nothing hypocritical in my position. What exactly are you arguing, here?
What if someone told you that there was a new dramady starring successful comedian Ben Stiller, indie sweetheart Jason Schwartzman and rising star Anna Kendrick? Sounds pretty great, right? But what if I told you that movie was already released in 2009 and you have just never heard of it? Well, that is because that movie is terrible. So begins my judgement of “The Marc Pease Experience”.
Jason Schwartzman plays the titular Marc Pease, who starred in his high school production of the Wiz eight years ago, but freaked out on stage and ruined the play. Now, he lives with his high school girlfriend (yikes) Anna Kendrick, has his own acapella group (“Acapella groups are so hot right now” – Mugatu) and to make sure there are no misconceptions, he wears a creepy-guy ponytail. Also interested in Anna is her vocal coach (yikes) Ben Stiller, who is also Marc’s old mentor. Of course, they are putting on a performance of the Wiz, which brings back bad memories for Marc. Can you guess how the movie ends? You can never guess, it’s so surprising!
You may have noticed that I didn’t use the character names for Anna Kendrick or Ben Stiller. That is because I forgot what they were called. It is truely the worst kind of worst movies: one so bad that it is utterly forgettable. While movies like Battlefield Earth are so terrible that they achieve a cult status, this movie is so bad that you immediately forget everything about it. You forget jokes, character development plotlines, secondary characters, everything, except how bad it is.
But do not just take my word for it. Rogert Ebert, who we can agree on is the best, wrote the following about this “movie”: “It’s badly written and inertly directed, with actors who don’t have a clue what drives their characters. This is one of those rare films that contains no chemistry at all. None. The actors scarcely seem to be in the same scenes together.” I rest my case, your honor.
ha ha ha you wrote “the titular marc pease” ha ha ha
Speaking of Hank Azaria, I humbly nominate America’s Sweethearts. I watched it over the holiday, to see if it was as bad as I remembered, and it is somehow worse. Double ug.
(no, I am not sure why I watched it, either)
I have a strange love for that movie. I can not defend nor explain it. But I own a copy on DVD and occasionally enjoy watching it when I’m home sick.
Twilly, you’re not alone.
I totally agree! “My penis is not the size of coins” Azaria’s accent is awesome, I know it’s not “good” but it’s great.
Fighting, the one with Terence Howard.
Matthew Mcconaughey has not been represented on the Hunt which I think needs to be fixed. Failure to Launch is definitely the WORST and includes a lot a big name people for such a bad movie (Kathy Bates, Sarah Jessica Parker, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Terry Bradshaw, Rob Corddry…)
I second Failure to Launch! I have nominated it a few times, but these nominations have gone unnoticed.
Most certainly the worst.
Failure to Launch is terrible, but I think a worse Matt McConaughey movie is Fool’s Gold. Although I’m not actually positive because I couldn’t finish watching it. It’s sad that Donald Sutherland is in it! Here is the synapses, which you can judge for yourself:
Benjamin Finnegan is a deep-sea treasure hunter certain he’s onto the find of the century in waters near an island close to Key West owned by a murderous rap star to whom Ben is in debt. Ben’s flat broke and recently divorced from Tess, his long-time research and diving partner whom he still loves. She’s nearby, working as a steward aboard the yacht of Nigel Honeycutt, a multimillionaire. The rapper has hired a rival treasurer hunter. Can Ben convince Nigel to bankroll his search, convince Tess to work with him, keep the rapper and his thugs at bay, and find a Spanish treasure hidden for centuries and rich beyond imagination?
Oh Fools Gold is a really good Hunt movie
there is no doubt that fool’s gold is terrible, but i think failure to launch is worse.
for some reason (tbs) i have seen failure to launch on more than one occasion. for some other reason (tbs) i have also seen most of fool’s gold on more than one occasion.
i mean, mcconaughey’s parents hire sarah jessica parker to date him so he’ll move out of the house? and this is how she makes her living? and all the animal humor? spoilers – there are three separate scenes that involve him being attacked by various critters, one of them is a dolphin.
Here’s one for later in the year:
How Do You Know?
I, being a loving husband, agreed to go see this with my wife. I mean, it’s got Paul Rudd in it- how bad could it be?
Oh lord, it can be pretty bad. Even without the following (which I experienced during the movie): audience talking/farts, TRON Legacy sound coming through the walls, and a screaming toddler running up and down the aisles beating seats with an empty soda cup, it would have been one of the worst movies I’d ever seen.
i saw this too! i thought it was going to be cute and charming or something and it wasnt at all! it was just odd. like there was nothing “wrong” with it but i regret seeing it. and i watch a lot of garbage!
yeah, not ready yet, but it’ll get there. this movie sucked big.
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OOH Controversy….I still love you Videogummers.
I second this. Not because I think it was an awful movie. Nor do I think it was a great movie. I just have lasting unresolved issues with it, and with developing how I feel about it, and I sense Gabe could be a great guide as I revisit what is still one of the weirdest moviegoing experiences of my life.
Maybe Synedoche New York is one of those movies that makes a lot more sense upon second viewing. And because I lack the patience to ever sit through it again, I hope that Gabe watches it for me.
I too lacked any patience to finish a viewing of that movie. I turned it off and thought “not worth it.”
Nope, sorry. No way.
I’m totally late to the party, but I would like to continue to nominate SYNECDOCHE NEW YORK.
For the record, I love this movie. If I don’t worship at the altar of Charlie Kaufman, I at least laugh out loud every time I hear the name “Donald.” But enough about me, this is about SYNECDOCHE NEW YORK. A “hot debate” (NEVER FORGET) in Monster-land. It’s got academy award winners, a non-linear plot (some would say, “Plot?”), and it meets all of WMOAT requirements.
SYNECDOCHE NEW YORK, forever.
Donna Darko
On the first viewing I was intrigued by the movie, but found it a bit of slog in the late going. Second time around, though, I loved it. One of the more perfect endings to a movie in recent memory.
Hahaa. I’ve been afraid to watch this movie… should i?
I dislike your nomination of Synedoche, NY (I give it 5/5 Netflixes) but I will fight for your freedom to nominate it.
That said, Filmbrain’s write-up of the film really helped me sort out my thoughts:
http://www.filmbrain.com/filmbrain/2008/11/the-life-of-the.html
I will be the only person to stand up for Stranger than Fiction because I LOVE Stranger than Fiction. It’s charming and the storyline is my favorite. It is one of the few movies I don’t hate Will Ferrell in.
I love it, too. I stand with you!
also <3 JFK in Clone High, thank you
Can we stop talking about Synedoche NY, because I live dangerously close to Schenectady NY, an I get that Synedoche looks like Schenectady, but if you know Schenectady NY, you know why that’s dangerous.
That’s where I’m from. For the record, nobody from Schenectady knows what “synecdoche” means. Don’t worry, guys–I moved and went to COLLEGE so I totally know what it means. (Because I went to college, I also like this movie.)
The Celestine Prophecy. Jurgen Prochnow and auras. You won’t regret it.
Fire Birds.
It has not just Mr. Cage, but also Tommy Lee Jones and Sean Young. Truly amazing, AND I saw it in the theater.
seriously this movie is the greatest. I AM THE GREATEST! I AM THE GREATEST! We all should watch this movie right now.
** Looks up Netflix history **
I nominate these not only for their terribility but for their Gabe-enraging properties.
Twilight Eclipse
Titanic
Fever Pitch
Did You Hear About the Morgans
Lakeview Terrace
Time Traveler’s Wife
why do you do that to yourself? stop doing that to yourself
Fever Pitch and Did You Hear About the Morgans seconded. I have a blind spot when it comes to romantic comedies but these were … just … I can’t even …
I liked Fever Pitch. I found it pretty fun and much better than the English version.
Hornby’s original book is brilliant and a must read for anyone obsessed with a sport team (just as High Fidelity is a must read for anyone obsessed with pop music).
Speaking of baseball movies, I nominate that one with Jessica Biel and Freddie Prinze’s kid. Summer Catch? Some of the worst acting in history, I think.
Mission Impossible
I randomly saw this movie over the break and it MUST be reviewed. IT MUST. MY VERY HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON IT.
Just… this. THIS. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!!
The first one really is a lot worse than I thought when I first saw it.
Downvotes?!
Hey, I’m telling you, my dad nailed the “twist” ending 5-minutes into the film when we saw it in the theater. And Papadru4 is not the brightest of them all.
I will stand by this nomination until THE END OF DAYS.
I see your Mission Impossible and raise you a Mission Impossible 2.
The second one is terrible and hilarious.
Also:
stop destroying my adolescence
but.. but..
emmanuelle beart… sigh..
perhaps this is just my lingering love for Manon of the Spring talking, however.
the emperor’s club, please. PLEASE. i saw it during my paul dano phase. it is maybe worse than his made-for-tv movie “too young to be a dad.”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283530/
Haha, “my paul dano phase.”
Seconded.
that’s funny cause i saw it during my patrick dempsey phase (gross)
but yes seconded, the emperor’s club is a poorly constructed blatant remake of dead poets society (why)
Takers, because WMOAT doesn’t care about black people.*
*Jokes from 2006. This year is gonna be great!
Takers, because FLW doesn’t care about Hayden Christensen’s pork pie hat & bow-tie combo.
I will second this, because Chris Brown.
But if not this, then Ghostbusters 2, which was the first movie I ever walked out of.
I walked out of Weekend at Bernie’s 2. Which I nominate, though it’s late in the evening and no one will see.
Avatar. Underneath all the shiny cool pictures is really one big shiny turd. It’s a bad movie.
Fozzy – we missed you and I hated Avatar! Who’s a good little commenter? Who is? Who?!
Me?! Is it me? OH PLEASE SAY IT’S ME!!!
YOU are a good little commenter. YES YOU ARE! Yes you are! Yesyouare yesyouare yesyouare yes…
I second this and also submit True Lies, one of James Cameron’s earlier, slightly-less-shiny but even more self-indulgent, bloated, overwrought turd-works.
“Self-indulgent, bloated, overwrought turd-works.”
That, my friend, is poetry, and I salute you. I hope to see that on a t-shirt someday.
Agreed. Avatar. Awful.
THANK YOU! I hated Avatar -so much-.
Witless Protection, starring Larry the Cable Guy. I was forced to see this in theaters and even though it was only the second worst movie I’ve ever seen in the theater (number one spot belongs to Transformers 2), I thought I would never make it out alive.
Why would you ever see that in theaters?
It was in a forced attempt to make amends with a friend of a friend. She picked the movie. Needless to say, our relationship never got better.
I’m going to say “The January Man” again, because that’s the only reason I comment on this blog. To say “The January Man”. I want to add that it is NOT about a superhero.
Far & Away with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, and Colm Meaney and Enya, probably, I dunno I’ve never seen it. But I’m sure it’s terrible.
Hah, “and Enya.” It would be hilarious if The Hunt just followed a string of movies with Enya tracks.
Except LA Story, because Steve Martin.
Taken. That movie is so insultingly terrible it hurts my eyes just thinking about it
That is sensational.
Really? That movie is 85 minutes of Liam Neeson beating the shit out of everybody. If every mindless action flick could be like Taken, then the movie-going world would be a better place.
That picture does rule, though.
Watching that movie is like watching “Baby Einstein: Bad Action Movie”.
People who think Hayden Christiansen’s worst movie is “Attack of the Clones” are very wrong. It is actually this movie.
It is so, so, so bad I can hardly stand it.
Seconded. “Jumper” is hilarious. Similar but somehow worse: “Wanted”, in which James McAvoy has zero charisma and the plot seems to have been conceived by a serial killer. It’s like “Fight Club” minus any kind of satire.
When I saw that, I thought it was like Fight Club crossed with a bit of the Matrix. Until one scene. It involved a loom. Then it became one of the worst movies I have ever seen in theaters.
“Wanted” was one of the craziest things I have ever witnessed. When my friends watched it and then proceeded to describe it, I didn’t make the connection to the terrible Angelina Jolie “bullet curving movie” trailers I’d seen to their so-called “Loom Weaving Assassins” movie. I had to be shown clips that they were, indeed, the same thing and it hid all of it’s COMPLETE CRAZY in its trailers.
I second/third/whatever the nomination of “Wanted” because it contains assassins who use a magic loom to weave the names of their hits in binary. Please watch this, Gabe.
OMG DO WANTED. DOOO WANNNTEEED. Um, FUCK YOU KEYBOARD? EXPLODING MOUSE? SO MANY THINGS TO CRITICIZE ABOUT THAT MOVIE.
Also Jumper. Which was way more fun to watch because it’s terrible in such a great way.
I’m with you on Jumper. My roommate owned this and made me watch, GOD AWFUL. It’s worth a watch just to see Samuel L. Jackson and his ridiculous looking hair. He looks like Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man. Speaking of Demolition Man I nominate that and Judge Dredd.
Holy shit, Demolition Man is the best movie of all time. I saw it on AMC for the first time in ages last night and it was better than i remembered. DENNIS LEARY leads the revolution and their favorite radio station plays COMMERCIAL JINGLES.
LOVE Demolition Man. (that’s a command. do it)
The very first comment I made and the reason I set up a profile was to raise awareness of this movie. Thank you for fighting the good fight
The Bucket List.
This.
This movie made it seem like abandoning your family when you find out you’re going to die was the right thing to do and that Morgan Freeman’s wife was the asshole for wanting to see her terminally ill husband while he was flying around with a rich asshole he just met.
I just keep thinking about that scene in the trailer where MF is all “It’s a list of things to do…” and then Jack is all “BEFORE WE KICK THE BUCKET.” and then something cheesier happens (nothing cheesier happens though, because that’s the cheesiest thing ever.)
Popstar, 2005, starring Aaron Carter as an undercover popstar posing as a high school student. It must also be noted that his character suffers from “testophobia”.
You’re talking about Hannah Montana.
Or should I say Blandah Monterrible. Yes, I should say that.
While we’re on the subject of musicians in movies, how about CROSSROADS, that terrible, awful, the worst Britney Spears movie? THE WORST.
My friend dragged me to see it with her and then made out with her boyfriend the whole time. It was great. 8th grade was awesome, guys!
Please refer to Rule #3 above.
Ah, yeah, just realized that. It’s been a while since I read the rules, and it was mostly for the story time.
F—, me!
NELL because Jodie Foster is a science project who speaks gibberish for all 39 hours of this movie and it touches our hearts.
DROP DEAD FRED because Phoebe Cates imagines a hyperactive sociopath and together they sink Carrie Fisher’s billion-dollar house into a river, and even when I was a kid I was horrified throughout.
And a Brad Pitt Double Feature:
COOL WORLD which my sister and I saw in a theater and which aged us 10 years apiece as we did not previously know it was possible to make a movie so incoherent and boring DESPITE tons of vavoom boobs (for me) and a cute guy on a motorcycle (for her), plus guns and animation (for everyone).
MEET JOE BLACK, in which Death has a couple of days to live a real life so he puts on a suit and stiffly tools around the poorly lit mansion of a super rich boring family who love nice dinners and he discovers he loves peanut butter, which, like, WHAT A TOTAL WASTE when he could’ve hung out with a free-wheelin’ biker gang or a giant Mexican circus family or, I dunno, ANYONE NOT BORING. Zzzzz.
hahaha man, i love drop dead fred.
Avatar and (new) Clash of the Titans.
And I haven’t seen Love and Other Drugs (because why would I?), but based on the trailer, I’m pretty mad at it for being terrible, so I also nominate that. If you tell me it’s good, I will eat my words. But I will have a really shocked face while I eat them. Like, my eyebrows will be raised so fucking high you will be able to write the word “REALLY?!!” in all caps on my eyelids.
SWEET NOVEMBER
Daybreakers
Avatar
Do you guys ever check out the Red Letter Media guy who reviews the star wars movies? His reviews are even funnier than Gabe’s hunt for the worst movies. he just put out a new one about revenge of the sith. think you guys might dig that noise
Upvote. Those videos have no business being amazing but they are.
“Post a comment on this webzone if you want a pizza roll.” I love the Plinkett reviews, they are the final word on those awful, awful movies.
Just so you know, I think I am forever henceforth going to imagine all of Steve Winwood’s comments being spoken in the Plinkett review voice. It combines two of the best awful things about the internet!
Plinkett is Winwood, Winwood is Plinkett.
Feast of Love is absolutely god awful.
yes! yes! thank you! so very awful.
Letters To Juliet.
Please.
The Pest
“Because I Said So” starring Mandy Moore and Diane Keaton. Diane Keaton has never had an orgasm! Mandy Moore has to tell her own mother what an orgasm feels like! (Later, the minister from the WB’s 7th Heaven gives Diane Keaton an orgasm.) Also, a dog humps an ottoman while Diane Keaton accidentally looks at porn. Someone wrote this movie!
And “The Wedding Date” starring Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney. The editing is terrible! I’ve never noticed editing before in my life!
!!!
babyfishmouth, you really ARE sweeping the nation.
I can’t believe I didn’t nominate this. Oh wait, yes I can…because I tried to forget this movie. I tried so hard. “Because I Said So” is everything that is wrong with “chick flicks,” because it pretends to be one and just is wrong. And by the way, you forgot to mention Mandy Moore is banging two dudes at the same time, and that is gross, and what is grosser is that neither one of them is appealing in any way shape or form.
This movie made me wonder if it is actually normal for mothers and daughters to discuss orgasms.
Please tell me it’s not. I think both my mother and I would rather eat an ostrich than discuss our sex lives.
This is days late BUT I just wikipedia’ed this nominee and saw THIS;
“Marketing
The film has a marketing tie-in allowing customers to buy panties with different sayings from the movie.[1]”
http://www.custom-panties.com/productDetail.jsp?productid=customBISS
So what I’m saying is, I support your nomination wholeheartedly.
The Fast & The Furious, AKA: the future frontrunner.
“I make my terrible moves an hour and a half at a time” -Vin Diesel
Within the Diesel oooooevre, I think few things are as terrible and incomprehensible as Babylon 5. I saw this in a hotel room, hung over while my husband slept, and was convinced that alcohol poisoning had brought on vivid (but also totally hackneyed) post-apocalyptic hallucinations, because, really, could I be seeing a movie this bad? But no, it was real (as was alcohol poisoning, maybe?). Kung-fu nuns! Virgin births! Some people are Robots?! Charlotte Rampling priestesses! Vin in linen pants, holding one blond baby and one black baby, and they are half-robot messiah twins?! This movie needs some sorting out, and only you can do it.
You mean Babylon A.D. and I second it
ugh.
Yes, thank you! So terrible.
Babylon AD is easily up at the top of my list of films that i recommend NEVER WATCHING. Which is why I don’t think I can ask Gabe to review it.This movie is just too terrible and would waste anyone’s time.
How have the Matrix sequels NOT have been covered before? They make the Star Wars prequel trilogy look like the Toy Story trilogy.
Or Transformers 2. Or The Last Airbender. Or Sex and the City 2. Or Twilight sequels.
Yikes, I’ve seen too many bad movies.
Oh, Sex and the City 2 was really, really awful. I second this.
“The matrix of leadership is not found, it is earned.” -Transformers 2, Michael Bay’s tombstone
I continue to hold my stance that the Matrix movies MUST be taken as a whole to be considered (see rule 1).
Hey, also, how is it possible that, “The Happening” has not been covered in the Hunt before? I know it’s easy and obvious and low hanging fruit and all, but OH MY GOD was it awful. The worst (best) kind of awful, because you can just sense how much M. Night clearly thought it was going to sweep the Oscars.
Why hasn’t this universally-accepted-as-awful movie not been nominated already? Is this something that’s been covered in the Videogumverse before? Some special John Leguizamo exclusion I’m not aware of? Or is it just too “Glitter” easy that it’s not enough of a challenge?
Because I nominate “The Happening”
I second the nomination for “The Happening” and also nominate “Transformers: Whatever the second one is called” (Transformers don’t count as superhero’s right?) although I caution that they should not be watched back to back because it may collapse the universe.
I second both of these. oh god.
ugh
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I’ve nominated this before, but laziness has kept me from mounting a full Amelia campaign for it. Maybe 2011 is the year.
True story: I served a 9-month sentence as a barista in Santa Monica and there was a girl there who auditioned for Rocky & Bullwinkle, and it came down to her and Piper Perabo. Piper got the part. And ever since then, this girl thinks of Piper Perabo’s career as the one that would have been hers. Coyote Ugly? She’d have gotten that part. Beverly Hills Chihuahua? Also would have gone to her. Basically, because she was one of two finalists to be in Rocky & Bullwinkle, this girl has had two lives ever since: Piper Perabo’s, which she reads about, and her own, which I believe is currently being spent assistant-managing a church supply store in Tennessee.
I nominate:
THE INVASION, with Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig and pod people (so, with pod people)
or, if the Nic Cage slot is still open:
KNOWING
pretty please
Anything with Daniel Craig in it cannot possibly be the WMOAT, because Daniel Craig is pretty. Disclaimer: I have not seen “The Invasion”.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, which I don’t think is the worse, but I don’t understand the circle jerk over. Our local arthouse theater played each of The Girl Who movies for like 5 weeks each and sent out emails with way too many exclamation points telling me that I MUST see each of them. I still feel sick to my stomach whenever I think of the sexual assault scenes and I just didn’t think it was that special.
it was not that special, kinda boring and maudlin like a made for tv movie from the 90s basic cable
Thank you for validating my opinion and thank you for not pointing out that I typed “worse” instead of “worst.” And forgot the word “it.” I got distracted recalling that horrific rape scene again.
I agree with both of you, but I don’t think it’s WMOAT status. It’s a by-the-numbers adaptation of an excellent mystery novel. For some reason many critics cut foreign films too much slack. I’m excited to see David Fincher’s version.
I agree that the second one sucked serious shit.
I liked the first one though. enough to not pull a star-wars-prequilogy and not even SEE the third.
haven’t seen them, but this is an apt description of the books also
I haven’t seen the movie either but I read the first book and said, What’s all the hubub bub? I don’t want to read that kind of stuff.
50 First Dates.
Yes, a hundred times yes.
Last nomination in my “movies-that-are-so-bad-that-they’re-almost-TOO-bad-because-they’re-too-easy-to-make-fun-of” trilogy.
“The Blind Side”
Gabe already did a pretty wonderful post about the Blind Side… http://videogum.com/156521/the-blind-side-and-ninja-assassin-a-side-by-side-comparison/dvd/
Oh cool. It’s like an instant, single-serving size of WMOAT. Thank you Zebra.
I think you want me to nominate Along Came Polly, okay challenge accepted
I like it when I’m about to nominate something and I realize it’s already been covered. VALIDATION!
- The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (Oh, Terry…)
- The Haunting
- Magnolia (A movie I actually love, but you know)
I nominate 3 movies that came out last year. What a waste of time!!
Legion
Book of Eli
The Fourth Kind
was denzel washington supposed to be blind in the book of eli? i could never figure it out. if he was blind the whole movie than i third this nomination.
The Book of Eli just made me so angry, I yelled at my date for making me watch it
Agree with the Book of Eli but you kinda had to figure Legion was going to be bad.
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i never thought of it as “a generation defining piece of art,” but it was soooooooo cool to watch with my little sister when we were in middle school.
just watched this on tv over the weekend, and while there are a few good moments, i cannot believe i used to like that movie.
the only good thing about it is that renee zellweger’s face is not as puckered as it is now.
Downvoted because I love Warren and also, Rex Manning. Sorry dude, still like you.
I don’t have to explain my art to you, Warren.
SAY NO MORE, MON AMOUR!*
*as in “downvote”
I would humbly like to nominate “Life as House.” It’s the worst because it it presented as deep and serious when it’s terribly cliche [building a house as a metaphor for life, secret terminal cancer, reconnecting with family, etc] plus it has so much talent that is 100% wasted: Kevin Kline, Kristen Scott Thomas, Jena Malone, and features Hayden Christenen in the most grating performance of his notably painful career.
Need further convincing? Here’s the tagline:
“When a man is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he takes custody of his misanthropic teenage son, for whom quality time means getting high, engaging in small-time prostitution, and avoiding his father.”
I will second “Life as a House” until my last terminally ill, house-building, Guster-soundtracked breath. Even more so for the scene when Kevin Kline turns an armoire into a toilet.
Someone seems to be bored at work and on a downvoting spree…
My Sister’s Keeper:
Exhibits A and B
I give you upvotes, but I don’t know that I’d want to put Gabe through that
“In Dreams”, a.k.a. where art direction goes to die. It tries to make apples somehow terrifying, and really, really fails. Bonus side game: arguing over whether Annette Bening or Robert Downey Jr. got stuck with the worse haircut.
As long as we’re nominating movies we know damn well aren’t the WMOAT but just have a strong personal distaste for and want to see properly and hilariously slammed, I (re)submit Eyes Wide Shut.
Seconded. I also (re)submit Eyes WIde Shut. No offense to That One, but I watched it again, and that movie is still a piece of shit. Also, please do Wild Wild West Gabe – it is the kind of movie the Hunt is made for.
Wanted. Angelina and James McAvoy take orders from a “loom of fate.” I hate it so much!!
True Story: In the theatre when Morgan Freeman says, “So you can shoot this M—– F——,” me, my sister, and the guy next to me all burst out laughing at the same time, and couldn’t stop for the rest of the movie.
“So you can shoot this M—– F—-,” is now used as a tension reliever during intense arguments, due to its ridiculous nature.
High Fidelity. That movie made me so mad
Second. Absolutely.
PLEASE DO GARDEN STATE ALREADY. That movie is horrible and right up the WMOAT alley. (I’m so pissed I’m late to this thread.)
I should probably elaborate. Garden State takes itself way too seriously while also attempting to be twee. But it doesn’t even succeed at being twee (which I realize seems like a good thing) because the atmosphere so damn cold and the acting so damn stiff and lifeless. It’s one of those movies, not unlike American Beauty, that screams “Hey take me seriously because I am deep and reveal stuff about life and shit like that,” but it’s such a thin affectation and so devoid of poignancy that once you get older and rewatch it (like I did) you realize how BARF this movie is.
please god do the devil’s advocate. it trys so hard and just ends up sucking.
When I was a wee little penultimate countdown, I had a favorite movie. A movie that I begged to see in the theatre multiple times and asked my parents to rent when it came out on video. A movie that I quoted incessantly and the mere mention would probably make my parents shudder. A movie that I had blocked out of my mind for years until reading this thread.
The movie: Clifford. Starring Charles Grodin (ugh!) and Martin Short – a 44 year old man playing an incredibly irritating 10 year old boy. IT IS VERY UNSETTLING. How did I love this movie so much!? I guess it was because I was a pretty irritating child myself.
I’m not sure if this counts as a children’s movie, I guess it’s a dark family-friendly comedy? At least this is what the internet tells me. If it’s too childish, feel free to retract this nomination. Otherwise, let the nightmare begin! WE’RE GOING TO DINOSAUR WORLD! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lplpw9tjd_E
I also loved that movie as a child and also have not thought about it in many years.. I looks like it’s on Netflix WI and I’m curious to re-experience it. In fact, I’m considering changing plans from “play Settlers of Catan” to “watch Clifford.” My friend that is coming over for Catan will be so excited when I tell him!
Are you kidding? I played tons of “Settlers of Catan” with my nephews (ages 7-12) because someone gave it to them for Christmas. They were like, “Let’s play this board game! Here’s the rule book! Tell us what it says!” And I was like “Uh… this rulebook is 16 pages long. What kind of board game is this? Where’s your dad?” And then I was like, “Hm, I think this game will be okay if we just use the first 2 pages of rules because that is all I am reading on Christmas Day.” So that is what we did and we settled the shit out of Catan just fine.
It is an awesome game, my friends and I play 2-3 times a week. I recently got the Traders and Barbarians expansion pack and the 5-6 player expansion. That rule book is intense and overwhelming, I owned the game for like 8 months before playing it for the first time because I was waiting for someone who had played it before to be around to explain it.
Also: watched Clifford last night and found that it held up better than I’d expected. Unsettling, yes, but there was at least one scene where my boyfriend fell off the couch from laughing, so, you know, pretty good. I still don’t really understand the motivation behind making it, and Netflix says it’s for 5-7 year olds, which is pretty absurd.
Yikes! It’s like THE ORPHAN in reverse!
Good Luck Chuck, because I don’t see any rules about no Dane Cook movies, although there should be one.
Gummo
Underworld
Knowing
Transformers 2
And finally, will Skyline be out on DVD anytime soon? Because OMGSKYLINE. It’s a copy of a copy of a copy of a really stupid blockbuster.
When in Rome!
My girlfriend and I were going to Rome and we thought it might be fun to rent that little gem. What learned was that it was not fun and that we hate everything about that movie. Something came up so we stopped the movie with 20 minutes to go and we still didn’t care. We didn’t care!
Also though? Dinner with Shmucks isn’t very good (though it’s really new?). The first half is too long and the second awesome half only makes you wonder what went wrong with that first act.
the lovely Kristen Schaal is in both those movies, ooh conspiracy, or not
And for a movie to be named “When in Rome,” they sure are in New York City for a lot of time.
House of 1000 Corpses. There is no cult appeal, no sense of parody, it is just straight fucking awful.
For the second time, I recommend My Best Friend’s Girl, because it’s full of the most despicable characters in movie history. And, like kittwin said, there DEFINITELY should be a rule against Dane Cook movies, because it’s almost not fair.
Also, spoiler alert, the song “My Best Friend’s Girl” plays 30 times throughout the movie.
Ooooooo. I forgot about this screen gem. Please, please, please Gabe, show them the errors of their ways.
Nice placement for Wal Mart in the back there. Classy.
The women of my family, without fail, will always watch this movie when it’s on lifetime or whatever. Seriously the worst.
I think it looks like Ashley Judd is saying bitch through gritted teeth, there.
The Devil’s Own.
Brad Pitt has an Irish accent and Harrison Ford probably has an ear ring in it.
once again, i’d like to nominate “art school confidential.” so much promise. horrrrrrrrrrrible movie.
I think you are just bitter, which I totally understand, but it’s not the worst movie. It’s not good, but it’s not the worst.
Tom Cruise’s War of the Worlds please.
Mr. 3000. Sex scenes with Bernie Mac are quite possibly the most disgusting things you may ever see.
RIP
I see Mr. 3000, but my mind immediately goes to Tom Selleck’s Mr. Baseball, which:
Wha… I am awaiting moderation? Oh videogum, what have I done to deserve this?
Well, I won’t retype the whole thing, but just in case Moderation Purgatory takes eternity, here are my four nominations:
NELL
DROP DEAD FRED
COOL WORLD
MEET JOE BLACK
(that makes a Brad Pitt double feature, LADIES)
Oh and Danny Boyle’s miserable and tedious space voyage / theology lecture crapsterpiece, SUNSHINE. I mean it is a serious plot point that the shipboard “phone” can only send one-way conversations and only in real time during certain broadcast windows when solar flaring subsides, during which the crew has to line up and take turns using the ship’s one webcam. Really, distant future? We can’t all record our messages to home in our spare time and then when the window opens just shoot them back to earth all at once in a zip file? I hate you, movie, and I hope you die.
Seriously? Sunshine isn’t perfect, but it’s far from the worst of all time.
Also, everyone communicates by means of clunky devices that look like garage door openers. Which they wear on strings around their necks!
And for some reason there is a window they can open by pressing a button, even though doing so will incinerate them all.
I am willing to accept that the sun is dying and we can restart it by nuking it from close orbit. That is sound movie science. But I can’t accept the lack of zip files, Bluetooths, or the kind of window locks that a 1997 Mitsubishi Lancer has. Also when that lady finds the one plant that survived the huge explosion and she goes aglow with the miracle of life–and at that exact moment is surprise-killed with a sword? No. And do you even remember any of the theology that we spent so much time on? No.
Although I am glad they restarted the [SPOILER ALERT] sun.
The ship has numerous overrides to protect them from burning themselves in the viewing deck. They intentionally override the controls. And there were likely months of time in their trip when they would’ve been able to open the window’s protection higher since they were farther away from the sun.
Sunshine also has that awesome score that’s already been used in 4-5 other movies. Including the trailer for The Adjustment Bureau.
Seconding Meet Joe Black.
For some reason I LOVE Meet Joe Black. I don’t know if it’s an extension of my love for Death Takes a Holiday or my too-easily-tugged heartstrings that get tugged during Anthony Hopkins’ third act yes-I’m-going-to-die-and-I’m-fine-with-that posturing, but the thing works for me.
It’s a goddamn shame that Martin Brest had his career destroyed by fucking Gigli. He could have been the Ron Howard who didn’t make the Grinch or the Dilemma. Or Angels and Demons.
I didn’t know it was a remake. I’ll check out Death Takes a Holiday. Mostly what I remember about Meet Joe Black was:
1. Longest movie ever.
2. Claire Forlani hurt: eyes fluttering, coquettish tilt of the head; Claire Forlani charmed: eyes fluttering, coquettish tilt of the head; Claire Forlani displeased: eyes fluttering, coquettish tilt of the head; etc. STOP!
3. Some review that said Brad Pitt’s Grim Reaper seemed semi-retarded and sounded like he was talking through a mouthful of peanut butter.
Can’t argue too much with Midnight Run though.
1. Synechdoche, New York – YES, PLEASE!
2. Fever Pitch – WTF? PLEASE!
and out of left field…
3. The House of the Spirits, with the following cast playing rich Latin Americans in the most messed-up movie adaptation of a beloved novel:
Meryl Streep
Glenn Close
Jeremy Irons
Winona Ryder
Antonio Banderas
Vanessa Redgrave
Also DEVIL (2010) produced by M Night Shyamalan who missed the opportunity to call a film Hell-a-vator or Devil-a-tor which would have been better.
Seconded! No number of cool upside-down shots of Pittsburgh could make up for that HORRIBLE script. The elevator is trapped near the 22nd floor of a 40-odd story building, and they try to get to it from the roof and the basement? And then drill a hole into the wall where it is stuck? How about just opening the elevator door on 23 and hoisting them out from there?
Awful.
Law Abiding Citizen. It is the closest thing I’ve seen to Death Sentence. Just ugly, awful, horribly made and just, Gerard Butler goes Saw but is the good guy, ugh.
YES. SECONDED. Never have I seen a movie with more contempt for its audience. A hateful mess. I might also nominate any other films starring Gerard Butler. Really, has he made anything worth watching? What’s that movie where he dies but still makes his wife do his bidding? PS I Hate This Movie?
Thirded! or something. I just happened to watch Law Abiding Citizen tonight and it was perhaps the worst film I’ve seen in recent memory. The script is garbage town and while Gerard Butler is awful in it, don’t forget to include Jamie Foxx in our derision. Dude’s character skips his daughter’s music recital to watch a man’s execution.
I officially nominate Donnie Darko because I have tried four (count ‘em, 4!) times to make it through that thing and couldn’t do it.
I also nominate Slumdog Millionaire because that whole movie is one giant N O P E.
I second these nominations.
Slumdog Millionaire isn’t great but definitely not WMOAT. It’s definitely interesting and entertaining.
How bad is Drew Barrymore in Donnie Darko?
Nell.
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Never seen The Godfather III, but so with you on Amelie. One of the most boring movies I’ve ever struggled through.
NOOOOO!!! I have been saving LITERALLY the worst movie for this thread and im probably in too late!
I would like to nominate Kevin Costners “The Postman”. If you are luck enough to have NOT seen it, let this blurb from IMDB tell you everything you need to know:
“Post-apocalyptic America. What begins as a con game becomes one man’s quest to rebuild civilization by resuming postal service.”
I shall be running an Amelia style quest for this movie until Gabe sits through its 3 unglourious hours of Kevin Costner.
Truly a terrible movie…the only thing that prevents me from agreeing that it’s “literally” the worst is Batman & Robin.
terrible movie, but not “The Worst”, not even “Kevin Costner’s Worst”. Next to Waterworld, The Postman looks like Titanic (pretty bad, boring, and 3 hours too long, but somewhat watchable)
I respectfully disagree with the watchable part.
This sounds……like what I need to do for the next three hours
I would like to continue my nomination of this terrible, vomit inducing bag of old sadness:
You find a higher quality film that better describes the relationship between three whores and their Mum.
Can I nominate this for the worst movie poster of all time?