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The only thing funnier than a junior high school principal punishing his students with a pop culture reference they are way too young to understand* is that saggy pants is still such a HOT BUTTON ISSUE. It’s 2010, everyone. The global economy is on the brink of collapse. America is forever embroiled in two foreign wars and a damaging intractable political stalemate at home. Winter is here. The Beaver. The Gulf of Mexico remains sludged with oil even if no one is talking about THAT anymore. Maybe we can RELAX about PANTS. That being said, DON’T GET URKEL’ED YOU GUYS! So embarrassing! (Thanks for the tip, Anchor Management.)
*So ridiculous. Kids don’t know Urkel from Adam and probably consider him to be from the same time period. Although, it’s very similar to when I was in school and teachers were concerned about students wearing their caps backwards, and so in order to teach us a lesson, if we were found wearing our caps backwards we were forced to wear our caps like Bartleby the Scrivener.
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I prefer to get Urquelled
STE-FAAN!
I’d say this is more of an initiative to force at least one of those reporters into a mid-life crisis.
Did I do that? (Submit this as a tip, I mean.) Yes. Yes, I did
Do you think his resume includes “Extreme interest in the pants of underage children” as a selling point?
There were a few shots that uncomfortably zoomed in on these boys’ belt buckles, namely their crotches.
Don’t wear proper eye protection in woodshop? Then you get Dwayne Wayned:
Don’t wear proper clothes during the cold winter months? Then you get Cosbyed:
Clothes too formfitting? Then you get Dorothy Zbornak’ed:
Don’t raise your hand to talk in the classroom? Then you get Uncle Joeyed.
Damn, your full house beat mine.
yeah, but yours does seem way more threatening
Wear a hat to class? You’re bound to get Blossomed.
Insensitive to other cultures? You get Balki’d.
If you don’t clean up your mess in the cafeteria after lunch, you get Danny Tannered:
don’t polish the candlesticks? you get benson’d
Sad, ugly short kids will be Webster’ed (may include becoming an orphan, to maximize aww factor)
Ironically, the punishment for bringing too many zip-ties to school is getting “ninja’ed”:
Get caught listening to your iPod in class? You get Urkel Dance’d:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTeOcVelYi0
You got urkle’d.
That’s why your wins low.
Beyond the truest, hey, teacher, teacher
Tell me how do you respawn the students?
Don’t make me get the zip ties, huh
Don’t make me get the ties
Just Desserts’ eyes are going to bug out at this thread.
You’re god damn right I am! Best. Thread. Ever.
No one student should have detention for more than an hour!
The conclusory “I like that” creeped me out. Everything is Terrible should have swooped across the screen.
Cool principle. Cool solution.
No sarcasmo even, I think every school should use having to dress like a 90s nerd as punishment.
You’d think, with the childhood obesity epidemic, that they would’ve showed more Furkles.
I plagiarized. I shall now hike my pj’s and secure them with a zip tie because I’m old school, with new ideas.
As someone who attended public school that required uniforms I can say, first hand, that teachers and administrators being more concerned with the propriety of my attire, rather than my academic performance, has led me to become the person I am today*! Good job school system!
*A 24-year-old with a basically useless degree, stuck in a job she hates, spending most of her workday on a site that thrives on salsa dancing canines.
I think we’re the same
Someone get that man a Mr Belding award.
Mr. Belding came and spoke at our college my freshman year, and he has turned into some half-assed motivational speaker (or atleast he was back in 2005.) After talking about himself for 45 minutes, he made us all shout out our names at him three times “Really loud and really proud, just like you will when you get out there into the real world.” “Louder!” He also told us that “Noone is going shopping in downtown Iraq” and “If you don’t have dreams your soul will have holes in it.”
Maybe that explains why my image google search for “Mr Belding” was so terrifying
Um, thanks for sharing?
He looks like the crazy old person from that Dan Akroyd movie “Nothing But Trouble.”
Anyone?
I’m a day late, but: http://videogum.com/236502/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time-nothing-but-trouble/franchises/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time/
I guess this is better than being Colonel Klinked.
I’m in
This is an unflattering look for the Furkel’s out there. Isn’t being a teen Furkel hard enough?!?!
This ought to teach those Eddie Haskells a lesson.
Not as severe as the Balki Initiative, wherein violators are forced to wear vests.
That’s why I changed my major from education to architecture. Couldn’t handle the prospect of zip tying little boys pants.
This is why I love uniforms. That, and not having to look at a bunch of underwear sticking out of clothes and underage cleavage all day.
Uniforms are the reason I can’t wear khakis anymore! I can’t do it B! ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS WEAR JEANS!
How did Bartleby wear his hat?
Backwards, as Gabe mentioned. Ask him to turn it around though, and he will simply respond, “I would prefer not to.”
Yeah, I didn’t get this reference either. The story has no mention of a cap, or any hat at all, being worn by Bartleby? http://www.bartleby.com/129/
Maybe it was some film production of the story? But a Google image search doesn’t seem to show any Bartleblies wearing a cap? Mysteries are all around us.
Did anyone else get really uncomfortable when that white lady reporter was pulling up the young black man’s pants and gloating about it? Or the smug, racist, classist overtones of this whole report?
Sorry team, I’ll go back to marxgum.com
Never Forget!
http://videogum.com/162551/new-york-state-senator-eric-adams-tackles-the-tough-issues/politics/
I got really uncomfortable when they showed YOUNG BOYS’ UNDERWEAR on TV in addition to adults HANDLING YOUNG BOYS’ PANTS on TV.
look at that nerd in the video! trying to end gun violence in schools! good choice of video to show how nerdy he is.
The most ridiculous part is that the TEACHERS get TROPHIES for enforcing the rule. ADULTS ARE BEING GIVEN ‘URKEL’ TROPHIES FOR FOLLOWING THE RULES.
“Maybe we can RELAX about PANTS.”
Nope, Gabe. Tuck in your shirt, pull up your pants, and get a haircut!
Yeah Gabe, just because you haven’t had to wear pants to work for the last two years doesn’t mean the rest of us get to slack off.
This man agrees with you guys:
Exactly! This guy gets it.
obligatory R.I.P.
Have fun at dinner.
“After the break we’ll return to Westside Middle School for a special report to investigate an increasing amount of students who have been shitting their pants throughout the school day.”
i was wondering when someone was going to point out how it’s basically impossible to use the bathroom when your pants are all zip tied up. “don’t get urkel’ed, unless you want to get your pants pooped” is a pretty strong deterrent i would think…
don’t pay attention in gym glass? you get waldo geraldo faldo’d!
Mission: Impossible – Urkel Initiative
I actually want to learn more about “Tunica Shelter”
upvote for bartleby
I prefer Bunny Colvin’s revolutionary Sagging-pants-terdam. His sectioning off the library as the no-belt zone may have seen increased saggy pants by 43% in the area, but it also saw 72% rise in the check of Hardy Boys novels.
check out*.
Idk man, I wouldn’t want a teacher all touching around my waste area lifting up my pants all to fasten a twist tie and whatnots all getting close to my gentlenesses. That’s not a friendship touch.
i agree, and i feel like there are some sort of legal implications here…cruel and unusual punishment, check…some sort of sexual charge (some asshole fascist manhandling my pants and binding them with zip ties…ZIP TIES?? – and a side note…the kid said you just have to deal with it or get a pair of scissors…wouldn’t you think they’d just start carrying scissors around??), check…and all under the clever guise of an old-skool principal with progressive ideas who was hip back in the 90s…child torture and molestation are NOT hip (not even in the 90s) and are NOT progressive dude…urkel would uproariously disapprove…and urkel’s smooth alter ego, stefan, would calmly shake his head in disappointment at the principal’s clear lack of judgement and 90s hipness
waist*
but I guess waste also works, because your butts are located near there.