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Am I missing something? Is every single last jail cell in America full? Is that the problem? Because let me tell you something: WE CAN SOLVE THAT PROBLEM. The solution is called: put Ke$ha on a trash barge and send that trash barge out into the middle of the ocean. What is she wearing? Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. “Well, it’s a combination of scrap metal and meat glue–” I said I don’t want to know. Cool tequila product placement, though. So awesome. Fuck yeah. Bottle of tequila! Shit yeah. So sick. Kill me. Dump my body anywhere. (Via BuzzFeed.)
Previously: Blah Blah Blah, Indeed: Ke$ha Has Always Been Terrible
Ultimately, Ke$ha Is Our Fault
Does The Simpsons Ke$ha Credits Mean We Are Officially Done With The Simpsons?
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Kesha really looks like she smells.
She does.
I like this statement for many reasons. 1. Because it implies that Kesha appears to smell. 2. Because it implies that her looks (which are bad) are equaled by her aroma (which is clearly bad). 3. Because it implies that maybe she doesn’t have full grasp of her sense and that her olfactory and visual abilities are impaired to an equal degree.
Basically: Triple insult! Boom!
We UGH who we UGh
We BARF who we BARF
“this video is blocked in your country on copyright/common decency grounds”
The Brits are so refined.
“In England, K€sha is quite eloquent and poetic in nature and in speech. In America, there is a Ke$ha who stinks.”
A Tale of Two Ke$has by Charle$ Dicken$
The French aren’t taking kindly to this video, either. I suppose they did me a favor.
Thank you so much, copyright restrictions!
– Australia
DERP!
Totally DERP
Why are they partying in that tunnel from Brick? There are dead bodies there, not a place to party
Kesha parties WHEREVER THE FUCK she wants 2. $he R Who $he R.
Better get out of there.
I thought I’d post a kitten gif to make everyone feel better.
Wait, don’t watch the video, little kitty!
Too late.
Sorry, I know it’s gross, but it’s still not the grossest thing on this page.
It’s okay, I gave this upchuck an upvote.
Baby Friday: for all your depressing and gross kitten gif needs!
there we go all better
That reminds me, I need to get batteries for my laser pointer. My cat loves that thing.
That is Roger Sterling barf gif good.
Subtext: She looks like a man-person.
It is never an insult to say someone looks like David Bowie.
OH DEAR GOD, IT’S A WHEELER!!! RUN!!!
She raps like somebody from a pizza commercial.
“We’re dancing like we’re dumb…” I think someone needs to tell Ke$ha want the word “like” means.
“what” not “want”. yeesh the irony.
“My Body’s getting numb…” just from listening to her music
“We’re dancing!! Like, we’re dumb?”
I just ughed so hard, I think I pulled a muscle.
Also, I love how the opening synth line sounds exactly like a toddler fiddling with a Fisher-Price My First Keyboard.
Werttrew: National Treasure, American Hero.
Elmo is getting it!
This is exactly how I dance.
WHY ARE WE STILL LETTING THIS HAPPEN?
I’m not allowed to listen to videos at work (Thank you?) but why all the Plenty of Fish (Match.com’s dumpster) shots? We R Who We R (Sluts) maybe?
Is this where you’re looking for your next girlfriend / boyfriend?
Doesn’t everybody browse dating websites while drinking branded tequila at the club?
Say what you will about Ke$ha.
She’s a cunt who should die of AIDS
-Patton Oswalt
what you told me to say what I wanted
Is this how you got fired from BWE?
A story. I had a pretty funny comment to post here, and then I started typing her name. And then I was like, “where is the dollar sign on my keyboard?” And then I looked for a few seconds, before thinking, “Dear Lord. I have spent seconds – SECONDS – catering to this awful creature’s attention-whoring bullshit practice of using nonsensical characters to spell her name. What in God’s name have I become?” And, to punish myself, I’m not even going to post the original comment.
I have no problem with finding the dollar sign for you, huckabea$t.
But now you are punishing the Monsters by depriving us of your comedic genius!
Oh, oh! I’ve been saving a GIF for something like this!
Dear Ke$ha,
Love, Bria
PS: Don’t tell anyone, but thanks for being there for me and my girl friends when we’re drunk at 3 in the morning and decide to have an impromptu dance party. KTHXBAIIIIIIIII
I would let whoever that is call me a twat any day. #gorgeouseyesgum
I’m prettttttty sure this is a guy, but like, I don’t even care. WHO IS THIS CUTIE.
I need to know the name of this adorable creature!
His name is Robert Sheehan and he is on the British show Misfits, and also the movie Cherrybomb with my boyfriend Rupert Grint!
YOUR boyfriend?!
That’s it… we’re taking this outside.
It’s like an episode of Jerry Springer all up in this thread! *rolls up shirt sleeves, cracks knuckles*
I’d be easy for Ronald Weasley.
I’m not saying, but I’m saying.
Misfits!
Keep Calm and Marry Ron.
Pep let’s just give each other high-fives for having excellent taste, share Ron Weasley, and call it a week.
briadru4, I would be honored.
Your music is bad and you should feel bad!
My dream headline:
Ke$ha offers to serve Wesley Snipes 3-year jail sentence & he accepts!
Scratch that. My ACTUAL dream headline:
JON HAMM MARRIES ANONYMOUS WOMAN WHO GOES BY THE NAME “CAKEORDEATH” ON VIDEOGUM.COM!
#VideogumEverywhere
#Twobirdswithonestone
EXCUSE ME?
Is someone’s engagement off?
Well, hello there…
Uh-oh.
I thought YOU were Jon Hamm!
Back off Bria.
Cake!
EXCUSE BOTH OF US?
I thought you BOTH were Jon Hamm!
Quel nightmare!
Quel shame!
I assume that this type of music became popular in trashy bars that have “Sexy Underwear Contests” and “Glow Stick Nights” and “Lots of People Dry Humping on Dancefloors”
Kesha take your own advice and
Also: Stop Singing!
I don’t know, her singing feels an awful lot like talking. But very affected talking, like if I all of a sudden started using cockney rhyming slang for no reason.
Our generation’s Rex Harrison?
Britney has a message for you Ke$ha:
So does Walken:
why do i feel like i need to look for a new girlfriend and drink some tequila. brb.
Why does every Ke$ha song feel like I’m being threatened by a teenager?
Favorite part of the video: Ke$ha haphazardly flinging herself off of a very tall building into silent freefall.
Least favorite part of the video: Ke$ha taking a shit on the laws of physics and surviving said freefall by being caught by a mass of garbage and tequila-scented meat sacs.
I was hoping that would be the end of the video.
Let’s get her for treason. Wearing a ripped up American flag in your shitty music video is treason, right?
I’m glad I got my cootie shot before watching this video.
I have 47 circles and 94 dots left if anyone needs one too.
Looks like someone overloaded on the circles over there.
Thi$ $uck$.
¥es. Total £oad of ¢rap.
Like none of you have ever been out hitting on dudes. Hard. In metal pyramid stud eyebrow makeup.
Like y’all don’t have Jezuz on your neclaz-ez-ez.
Jokes on her-she’s not even wearing a necklace! FACE!
Taylor Swift looks sick guys.
Jake is sucking her life blood with too much coffee.
“We’re dancing till we’re du du dum dum dum dum”
how many thousands of dollars do you guys think she made from that verse.
probably enough to buy some soap and take a shower
Sadly, she obviously decided she had better things to do with that money.
You guys wanna know who LOVES Ke$ha’s?
(Also, anything dirty or dingy or dusty.)
(This guy)
So not this guy?
This is far more frightening than anything Cormac McCarthy ever imagined. If this is what our post-apocalyptic destiny is, don’t expect me to carry the fire. I’ll use that precious bullet in a heartbeat. Also, can one person be the reason for a an entire planets downfall and still be allowed to throw tunnel raves in the sad, desolate world of her own creation?
Yes, Bing. “OR” is correct.
Bless her heart.
I can’t believe I paused Gene Autry singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on my Pandora to listen to this.
I remember the first time I ever heard of Ke$sha:
Tik Tok was getting a lot of radio play (I guess), and my COUSIN had some of the song lyrics in her MSN MESSENGER name/nickname/whatever (cause, COOL cousin). I, having never heard of Ke$ha before, was all “WHAT DOES IT MEAN???”. So I typed the words into Google, and that’s when I knew.
And the consequences will never be the same.
Oh man, wait’ll these guys get a hold of her.
I can’t believe they haven’t yet, to be honest.
Give them a year.
Ke$ha’s “We R Who We R” Video Might Be The Wor$t Ke$ha Video Yet, If It Is Even Po$$ible For $omething To Be Any Wor$e Than Her Previou$ Video$
Po$ted at 3:45pm by Gabe 64 Comment$ $hare3
Am I mi$$ing $omething? I$ every $ingle la$t jail cell in America full? I$ that the problem? Becau$e let me tell you $omething: WE CAN $OLVE THAT PROBLEM. The $olution is called: put Ke$ha on a tra$h barge and $end that tra$h barge out into the middle of the ocean. What i$ $he wearing? Don’t an$wer that. I don’t want to know. “Well, it’$s a combination of $crap metal and meat glue–” I $aid I don’t want to know. Cool tequila product placement, though. $o awe$ome. Fuck yeah. Bottle of tequila! $hit yeah. $o $ick. Kill me. Dump my body anywhere. (Via BuzzFeed.)
/fixed it for you
This is Science because I’ve seen it done on House. There are ways to trick your mind into perceiving what you want to see instead of what you really see. For example, tell your mind that the video actually ends at the 2:39 mark and you will all see for yourselves.
Almost got me to press play, Gabe. Classic jokester, you.
Very classic. Very Gabe.
DING DONG. Shitty video.
GAAH SEIZURE WARNING PLZZEZUS.
*presses off. Feels the universe lighten*
I feel bad because I wear glitter on my eyes and stockings ripped up the sides.
But this video is terrible, is what I am trying to say.
I spent a really long time yesterday reading Ke$ha’s wikipedia entry (yeah, I need better hobbies), and here are a couple of important facts about her that I thought you guys should know:
1. She got a near-perfect score on her SATs
2. Her family was a host family on The Simple Life in 2004.
3. She was number 57 on Maxim’s “definitive list of the world’s most beautiful women”
4. She once got arrested for trespassing on Prince’s property so she could give him her demo tape.
5. “Everyone’s really offended by that. But come on, brushing your teeth with Jack Daniel’s: what girl does that? People are like, ‘Do you really advocate brushing your teeth with bourbon?’ I’m like, ‘Yes, actually, I do, every day, for everybody. Especially eight year olds.’ I mean, what are you talking about? Of course I don’t. Come on.”
6. I kind of secretly love her and I don’t know why but I think she’s actually secretly really smart and awesome
Woof, the whole “she’s actually really smart” myth, they always said that about assholes (re: Paris Hilton).
I mean, of course, she must have had SOME brains to become famous, but also? You’re ruining the world. So if you really are smart, Ke$ha, stop hurting the world. In the end, I don’t care if she’s a genius: she’s still an asshole.
(I totally read her wikipedia entry, too)
I agree with you sol, except for the part about anyone thinking Paris Hilton is secretly smart.
I was just thinking that she looks like a very plain, blonde little rich girl that some record company scooped up and said “It’s okay that you can’t actually do anything, sweetie, that’s what glitter and autotune are for.”
According to Wikipedia, I’m not too far off.
I think Kesha was discovered in a restroom, while singing “We R Who We R” into the mirror; a comb as a microphone. Unbeknownst to the fledgling singer, there was a talent agent in one of the stalls. The talent agent emerges from the stall…
“You got the goods!”
“Really?!”
Or maybe it went a little something like this :
Kesha, adorned with her most impressive glittery eyebrows, steps into a talent agent’s office.
Intrigued by her bizarre costume, he asks her ”And what is it exactly that you do, young lady?”
Kesha rips up a flag with her carzy-sharp nails and starts her performance only to be suddenly interrupted.
”Oh I see” says the agent ”You’re the Ari$tocrat!”
Am I a bad monster if I don’t want to T14TT and watch this video? I thought Gabe hired Joe Mande for just this sort of thing.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
I wrote this thing earlier this year, about how music is getting so repetitive to the point of ridiculousness. I used examples of songs that repeated the same WORD over and over again. (SHOTS! SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!)
And now Kesha goes and ups the ante by repeating/stuttering PARTS of words.
Idiocracy, you have your queen.
i was having such an awful day. I had to pay an overdue cable bill after they shut my internet off. My mom called me asking me to call my grandma. I had to do laundry. And then I had to watch this video. I don’t want to go outside for the next two weeks. I’m turning off my internet. Shut it down.
I’m pretty disappointed, as a constant reader of videogum comments, that no one has made a gif of Ke$ha readjusting her boob.
I honestly thought that’d be the first comment. Oh well
This song makes me hungry for chicken parm-parm-pa-pa-parm-parm-parm-p-par-parm.
To be fair, she is talking true, she’s telling you what she’s doing – and they are dancing like they are dumb. Though I don’t think anyone told her that people stuck stuff to her face last time she passed out.
My experience watching this video is as follows:
“Ok, here I go. Pressing play. I try and stay away from this Kesha nonsense but whatever. EWWWWWWWWWWWW. Oh, well that’s not bad. That’s a beat that makes people dance. Maybe she’s not as bad as- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Ok. That was terrible. ‘Does’ is grammatically incorrect in the context she used it, and it DO not rhyme with ‘club.’ Ugh. Oh man, there she is. This is Ba-ba-ba-bababad. Hmm, well now it’s kind of going ok. Wait- is it? That beat keeps swaying me. Lulls me into the rhthym. Hmm. Yeah. Maybe she’s not as ba- EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! This is dumb. Look at that ratty flag shirt. ‘DJ turn it up-up-up-up?’ UGH. She seems to have disregarded musical keys for this portion of the song. That’s dari-OH! She jumped! She’s gonna die! Oh! oh. Stage Dive Suicide. Could be a band name. Well, at least I thought of that while watching this video, so mayyyybeee- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW… Oh, thank the lord, it’s over. Now I remember why i stay away from this Kesha nonsense.”
So there you guys go.
Never in a million years would it have occurred to me to liveblog watching a Ke$ha video. Genius. This should be a regular feature. #LBWAKV
I honestly don’t think that Kesha objects to anything, ever. “Metal studs on my eyebrows? Sure, why not. Garbage all over my body? Yes, please.” It’s sort of incredible, really.
I do not like this, Sam-I-Am.
Remember that scene in There’s Something About Mary, where Cameron Diaz spots ejaculate on Ben Stiller’s ear and is all, “Is that hair gel? This is great, I ran out!”, and then proceeds to gel her hair with the substance?
I think Ke$ha met a crazy mountain man covered with feces and was all, “Is that makeup? Oh, I really need some! May I smear it all over my face, please? Thanks lover!”
“This has been blocked in your country”
Thank the lord, Vevo has a soul!!
It makes me want to do this:
Does anyone know what Ke$ha looks like? I mean I know I just looked at her for over 2 mins straight, but I’m still unsure. (file under “Honest Question”)
That is helpful, thank you.
excerpt from one of the top-rated comments on this video:
“ke$ha said the whole song was to help those gay kids from not suiciding”
… so, i mean.
Damn. I made the mistake of pressing play. That was the $uck. And from the looks of it, it was filmed in the 2nd Street tunnel of Downtown LA.