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As someone who’s never really been on TV, I suppose I can’t understand the mental and emotional pressures of being in front of so many sets of eyes watching your every move. I’m sure that it is very stressful, and that eventually you need to achieve some kind of peaceful resignation to makin’ goofs. It’s gonna happen, might as well just accept it, dust yourself off, and get back on that wonderful horse made of gold. (SIDENOTE: If anyone wants to teach me what it is like to be on TV by putting me on TV, I love to learn and experience new things!) But, like, while I can’t understand the specific stresses of such a public display, I do understand what stress is like, and, like, what it feels like to be, you know, somewhere where there are other human beings in the room. So I’m still kind of confused how this woman just straight up GOT CONFUSED about what it would look like to put a dick-shaped object in her mouth and jerk it off with her hand. “Yoops!”
Emmy Alert! (Via TheDailyWhat.)
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“Hi Cindy. Call my travel agent and see if I can on the next plane to San Diego.” — Charlie Sheen
Keep fucking that chicken, “Frank Loyd Wrong”
Winwood, why the quotes? Is my existence in doubt?
Steve Winwood is the only one of us that actually exists.
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I don’t exist Winwhoops! SO IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER!
I don’t get it either, “bro”.
quotes on your name cause anonymous commentating is your game unless you expect me to believe that any parents would name their own beloved child that like some kind of troll handle
“A Winwood by any other name would smell as sweet.” — William Shakespeare Lloyd Wrong
Actually Winwood, you nailed it. My real name is Frank Lloyd Browrongski, but I shortened the last name for convenience.
quotes on your name, quotes on your name
your hat is on sideways, quotes on your name
she was doing it wrong anyways
Umm no, you put it in your mouth, compress it until the internal diaphragm collapses, and then violently twist it back and forth at a 45 degree angle.
By the way, I’m single if anyone is in MA and looking to hook up.
SIX MINUTES GUARANTEED?!
I know the turkey caller sends a beautiful message to other turkeys but I have to blow it AT LEAST ONCE DAMN!
She should just smile and blow it, because it deserves it.
BEFORE THE MASHED POTATOES!!!
Gobble, gobble (sorry)
Stay classy, San Diego.
Usually when i’m not exactly sure what to do with an item I simulate fellatio on it, too. What’s the big deal?
Ummm… in that case you can keep my lemon peeler.
And my axe!
And Steve Winwood!
Come on, you guys: Make with the upvotes on this
And my flux capacitor.
Not pictured: the caulk in her butt.
Woah, let’s keep this PG-13!
I feel like this should have been an entire unit in my Broadcast Presentation class.
Unit.
ass
oh no you don’t downvoters! look closer.
enhance.
i still don’t get it. i blame the sinus headache.
Nice one, backwaxer.
Tat.
What’s tat? Well, apparently, you can get tit for it, so…
feel
in my
…sh..i..t…
present.
because presents usually come in a package.
Presents usually come in a box.
You know, if this happened on The Today Show, Lauer would’ve had an aneurysm.
she could use a few tips from this guy…
As a San Diegan, I can tell everyone this is typical of all our local shows.
but do you SWEAR that not everyone in San Diego is like that, and that you don’t all pretend to perform fellatio on turkey gobblers?
I can’t make that promise.
sweet! now I get to be TOTAL BIGOT about that one from now on!
you pervert!
Bing: Turkey or Blow Jobs? A question for the ages.
one of each, please
Happy (ending) Thanksgiving!
It is never OR. It is always AND.
“Whoa! Normally they don’t make THAT sound…” — this woman.
Her technique is captivating.
Fuck a chicken, blow a turkey, it’s all news to me.
Goodnight, everybody.
“Gross.” Deal with it. Shades.
TWSS: That’s What She Simulated
Stimulated?
(eek)
Her caller brings all the fowl to the yard.
And they’re like (turkey caller sound).
Look, sometimes my girlfriend just gets a bit too excited. If there wasn’t a turkey gobbler she would have just simulated fellatio out of thin air, it’s her *thing*. (AND BOY DO I LOVE HER FOR IT.)
I guess this counts as proof that it works?
“HANG ON, I’M COMING!”–This Turkey
she made a wiener mouth!
“Try not to blow any turkey calls on the way to your car!”
I think you intended this for the WMOAT thread.
The (leather) trench coat mafia strikes! For further reference, visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxEYO5RS1TY.
Hoy crap, this is amazing. Thank you Jeb.
That turkey caller DESERVED that blowjob. This guy knows what I’m talking about…
That’s where I’ve heard that sound…
I dunno, the way the guy said, “YOU should try that,” it seemed like he knew exactly what was going to happen. Nostradamus is abusing his power on live television.
Never forget
All the upvotes.
UPVOTE PARTY!!!
whoa, what was this fox news appearance?
this was pre-Videogum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VpEoFqNMxk
whoa – gabe with the woman about whom he later wrote a story in which she kills herself. circle of life, man. elton john.
Wait Im confused, why is Charlie from always sunny in Philadelphia on the fox network?
like a duck to water.
I don’t know why I am saving this gif, since there will literally never be a better time to use it than right now.
OH MAN THE GENTLEMEN. Amirite?!
#buffygumforever