Photos
It was reported last night that Frank Darabont has fired the entire Walking Dead staff. This led to a HEATED TWITTER DEBATE. Personally, I think it’s nonsense to punish the ENTIRE writing staff of a network’s most successful original show of all time. Sounds like Darabont’s princess tiara got a dent in it to me. Some disagree. AND THAT IS HOW DEBBATEY IS FORMED.
 |
 |
GRIIIIIMES!!
That show has a writing staff?
EXT. PARK — DAY
GRIMES follows CRAWLING ZOMBIE through park. He keeps following it. Keeps following it. Follows it a little longer and then keeps following it. The zombie continues to crawl. Grimes follows it. Then he follows it some more.
You’re fired.
I fired my Videogum-commenting intern after what he did to Steve yesterday. The intern took it hard, he texted back, “NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!” …At least that’s how Babelfish translated it to me. Guess I’ve got to start writing my own comments now… or maybe I can hire one of the Walking Dead writers, anyone know how to get in touch?
That’s like making it to the Monster’s Ball and then firing your entire writing staff. (There’s no way notsewfast is doing this all on his own.)
huckabeast as well. I’m still sceptical that it’s possible for one person to be that funny and awesome.
Let’s form a committee to hunt down and prosecute all comment barons in the Videogum community. I’ll work on busting the Baby Friday/Teacherman monopoly.
What about that week that Patrick M slaughtered the competition and took three or four of the top spots? Dude was on fire. (But with jokes. Joke fire, basically.)
I’ll cover Steve Win–woops. I’ll find someone else.
I’m calling him Steve Winwhoops from now on.
We will call ourselves: “The Videogum Star Whackers.”
I love the idea that a monster would be so serious about videogum as to hire a writing staff to come up with comments. This guy knows what I’m talking about:
If I stare at this picture long enough it looks like his head is moving.
I’m going back to bed.
You forgot the most important part! Season Two scripts will be accepted on spec from freelancers (the Guild will love this). Errybody, get crackin’!
EXT. DAYLIGHT
Slow pan across an overgrown golf course. We come upon two zombies, kneeled over an unknown form, feeding hungrily.
ZOMBIE #1: RARRRR.
ZOMBIE #2: Blerrrghhh.
The camera slowly zooms in on the zombies, culminating in a close-up of the zombies faces as they shovel human innards into their hungry maws. The zombies are LORI and RICK GRIMES. They are consuming their son, CARL.
Hired!
You meant, “Carl”.
What a twist!
When I send my spec script to Frank Darabont, I will include a screenshot of all my upvotes.
Okay, but can we agree that whichever person wrote the “You take that stupid hat and go back to On Golden Pond” line needed to be fired?
Yes.
I have almost no problems with the walking dead. the running back to camp scene was serious lulz but everything else has been fine to me. hope the new writers aren’t worse at least.
Honestly, this is one of the worst written shows I’ve ever seen in my life. Of course, the creator of the comic wrote the worst episode.
What do you mean, “of course”? I will admit that the whole thing with the vatos and the ABUELITA was fucking embarrassing to watch, but overall I felt the episode wasn’t so much poorly written as it was poorly directed.
Here is what I mean:
The episode begins with the two sisters in the boat, talking about fishing. Clearly, this is meant to give us some insight into the sister’s relationship, but is terribly executed. They talk in a very stilted manner about different kinds of fishing knots (no one talks like this) and then one of them draws the conclusion that their father knew that they needed to fish differently. Cue tears.
If the dialogue weren’t bad enough, the need to draw the conclusions for the audience (“HEY LOOK HERE, THIS IS IMPORTANT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!”) shows both a lack of trust in the audience and also a lack of trust in the writer’s own abilities. I don’t know if Kirkman thinks we are dumb and can’t draw inferences about character from how they behave or if he just wants to dispense with the mushy stuff so he can get to the guns and guts.
To me, this is the type of writing a freshman in high school would do before having his first creative writing class. It is cheap and hacky and obvious. I am not saying a character can’t be revealed by what they say–that they can’t have emotional speeches or epiphanies–but it takes more than this.
Rather than let the characters develop naturally, from how they act and what they realistically would say, and rather than let their relationship reveal itself to us, the Kirkman just dumps it in our lap. Splat.
Plus, the character elements that we are given for Andrea, the older sister, don’t even add up. So, her father taught her how to fish and catch things because she needed to catch them, which to me seems to mean that she would do what is needed to survive, as opposed to her sister who could not (she had to let them go). So she is supposed to be tough I guess. Yet when we meet her, she has a gun but doesn’t know what a safety is? I know what a safety is on a gun and I’ve never held one in my life. And then in the middle of a life or death situation, she shops for her sister.
But Wait, It Gets Worse! Speed ahead to the end of the episode where one of the sisters gets bitten. It is painfully obvious now that the sister’s dialogue at the outset of the episode was there solely to give weight to the one being bitten at the end.
The problem is, one clumsy scene at the beginning of that episode is not enough to make me invested in either character or their relationship. We did have the one sister wanting to do something for the other’s birthday, but that is it as far as emotional investment. The bitten sister has said basically nothing and done nothing of worth over the course of the show’s first three episodes. She is essentially a character introduced just to die. If the show had wanted us to care about her death, or the effect of her death on her sister, we needed to already care about them BEFORE that episode.
Some additional gripes:
Grimes is a ridiculously perfect character. He is too noble, to heroic, to right, to honest, to self-sacrificing. Though he says that he would do anything for his family, he is more than willing to do things that make them worse off. He is an unreal character and unworthy of our interest.
There is no character that displays any type of complexity or conflict at all. They are either bland no-ones, perfect heroes or terrible racists.
By contrast, look at Lost. No matter how you come down on the bonkers shit, Lost was very good at creating complex characters that we cared about. That was the core of the show. Think about Jack’s story in the pilot about cutting the nerve sack and counting to 10. This is just a person telling a story about themselves to reveal their character, but it works because we already in that short time have some connection to him from the beach. Plus, the show was willing to make him flawed right out of the gate. Or think of the scene with Hurley and Sayid–you get a pretty good feel for their characters in just their short meeting under the tree when he tells Hurley that he was in the Republican Guard.
By contrast, The Walking Dead gives us nothing about a character until the person must do something, but by that time, it is too late.
Plus, some of this stuff is just sloppy. Consider the guy who gets the sunstroke. Just a few hours before he was bartering with Grimes for the tools (in the previous episode). Now he has gone mad and is digging holes because of a dream the night before. What? None of this works together.
I think the comic is pretty sexist. There are few women characters who don’t need men to care for them and the men are all either strong and macho or bad and worthless. The television show has made this even worse. Andrea in the book is sort of badass. We see none of that here.
This is all just muddled garbage–the creators of this show don’t have any idea what they are doing with these people. The show and comic say they are less about the zombies and more about the interpersonal. I think that is great and admirable. Yet, in both the comic and the television show, the people are poorly drawn and crudely rendered.
Watching this show I think, “How is it that these people are paid to tell stories, and acclaimed for it?”
Basically, what I am saying is “Fuck You Walking Dead and the Horse You Rode In On”. This show is an insult.
I have not watched the show even though I love zombies because all of what you just said is implied in Gabe’s awesome write-ups, and thank you, Mans, for calling this show out so thoroughly.
Why can’t Walking Dead let zombies be great?
As for Lost, I stopped watching that because the Mathew Fox character was such a one-note ass. Every episode seemed to go:
EVERYONE: We have just come up with a reasonable plan.
MATHEW FOX: No! I insist we do the opposite!
KATE PROBABLY: I guess I’ll do what MF says and split the group.
SAWYER PROBABLY: I hate you both. Except Kate.
ME: I’m with Sawyer.
I want to marry this post. Upvote!
OH YEAH?! WELL…I kind of agree with you, actually. It’s funny you should mention the boat scene, because as I was watching it, I thought “this sounds like Kirkman dialogue” and then the credits rolled and I was like yup. I’ve always had a problem with the guy’s writing, the problem being he’s just not that good. He’s melodramatic and obvious, like you said, and I have similar issues with the comic’s artist, who’s just a really bad actor, if that makes sense.
I still like the show, though, and I like Shane a lot, which is weird.
Also, you had me at “Lost”. I love you.
I agree with you: Shane and Lori are the two most interesting characters. I think it has to do with the fact that they have some internal conflict for us to care about.
The comic (which you’ve read at least part of?) does a much better job with characterization and moral ambiguity, and the contrast in this regard between the books and the TV series is very confusing to me because Kirkman was involved in the development process from the very beginning. The show is lazy and melodramatic, and if I didn’t love zombies
… so damn much I would’ve stopped watching after the second episode. Mans, you should quit your lawyer-job and move to LA. I’ll get you an agent, and you’re needed out here.
Okay, but you have to pick me up at the bus station. I’ll be the guy with the duffel bag of tube socks and mouth full of gummi bears (that may not narrow it down enough).
If you get off at the Hollywood Greyhound Station, that will not narrow it down at all. Try to stand out by not yelling at invisible people until it comes to blows.
I moved to Hollywood to achieve my dream of being a great writer and succeeded: I ended up dead in a gutter in a stranger’s clothes, just like Poe.
At least you died with your tube socks on.
Being discovered with tubesocks stuffed in your mouth doesn’t count as “dying with (them) on”. Sorry, Mans.
I couldn’t agree more re: the sisters’ conversation. That was very melodramatic, lazy writing. It was that scene that made me start really hating this show’s writing. Bad dialogue can be grating in a way that is hard to forgive. Basically, I’ve seen quite a few shops [bad dialog] in my time.
Hey “mans” first of all, let’s get this out of the way: tl;dr
Secondly under the “additional gripes” section, you wrote about Grimes that he was quote “to heroic, to right, to honest, to self-sacrificing.” Guess what? Your ability to spell the word “too” is too wrong, too crappy, too lousy and too PSYCHE! just kiddin’ I dont care
Steve thanks, but I think you need a new tag: TL; EC-E (Too Long; Expertly Copy-edited.)
What Mans said
ENHANCE!!!!!!!!
Maybe he meant to fire everyone in charge of the music and just got confused?
The music on that show is atrocious.
YOU SIR! YOU ARE ATROCIOUS! (love me some copy insults)
I have something to say: THE MUSIC OF THE WALKING DEAD KILLS IT EVERY WEEK.
Like, if someone was bitten by a zombie right on the tummy, the music wouldn’t even bother to have an ethics debate. CAUSE IT WOULD JUST KILL IT RIGHT AWAY.
Don’t fire Birdie and Soft Gabe
From the article it seems as though the writing staff wasn’t utilized enough of the time to warrant keeping them on the payroll, which leaves more money for zombie effects.
I love me some blood-splatter-on-camera effects.
Yeah I mean based on the article they weren’t doing much writing. And they DEFINITELY aren’t doing much story editing. But I think that means they need a better story editor on staff, not zero story editors.
He didn’t like them discriminating against racists.
And people who like mermaid necklaces, unicorns, and cool shit like that. Probably.
I’m a racist
- Frank Darabont
Zombies are people too
kinda sorta
what do we want? bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnssssss when do we want it? bbbbbbbbrrrraaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnsssssss
I’m going back to bed
- The entire Walking Dead writing staff
Hopefully this means season two will feature a nuanced and mature take on all the canon plot points remaining from the book, like when Ninja Sword Foxy Brown got raped by Evil Latino Bartertown’s henchmen.
It’s weird they all weren’t fired as soon as the script for the second episode was finished.
The only reason I stick with it is on the extreme off-chance that someday they’ll make another episode as good as the pilot.
“You won’t have to hold your breath too long, cause, SCIENCE.” – Frank Darabont
I decided this week to drop the show because I couldn’t take how stupid it was becoming. I have waited my whole life for an awesome zombie apocalypse show and I get some weird melodrama with poorly written, clichéd character exchanges. Gross. I mean firing everyone seems really extreme in any situation, but I am definitely gonna give it another chance because they did…
I decided this week to stop watching Gossip Girl. I can justify sticking with Walking Dead, but not Gossip Girl.
It just started to look like the Serena vdW show all over again. With no hope for Bluck and Chair.
(Me)
Entire Walking Dead Writing Staff
Yes, I will use any excuse to use this gif over and over, thank you.
I was wondering how long it would take for this bad boy to show up. Also, I will always upvote this gif every time I see it.
“Now I remember why I dug all those holes.” -Frank Darabont
CLang! CLang! CLang! CLang! CLang!
I did this with you in mind KajusX. (Never Forget)
I hope this doesn’t affect my stagger on roll.
Given Walking Dead’s nuanced portrayals of differing ethnicities, I assume AMC will be approaching the Outsourced writing staff with a handsome figure.
Who will come up with things for zombies to do now?!!!!
Glen Beck can write it
+1 validation point, Steve
That photo is fantastic.
I wish I could upvote this a billion dollars– er, I mean, times!
Man, deep down inside I feel like I have to like this show because I’ve invested so much of my time/money reading the comics– BCUZ GUYS IS BEING SO MUCH BETTER THAN MOVIESHOW. But really, starting from about episode 4 I was pretty disgusted.
Like I know with a lot of movies/media based on comics or other forms of literature it’s pretty much a given that parts will be removed or changed between the film adaptation and the book. But the thing is, the walking dead is a pretty well established comic series now, the story is well written in the comic, how hard would it have been to stick mostly to the major plot points established in the books? By episode 3 the writing had gone in a completely new direction, I mean starting from the pilot there were already a lot of changes, which is fine. But, I feel like generally, most of the new stuff they added in is pretty fucking stupid. Which is weird for me to think, actually, because the one episode with the vatos locos and the old folks home was actually written by Robert Kirkman… what is this, i don’t even.
Anyway, I guess my point is that I was kind of going into this expecting a pretty close retelling of the comic in television form. Maybe the comic is just as dumb as some of you think the television show is, but in my opinion, it’s pretty superior. Also, one thing that sort of stays true is that the story is less about the zombie plague, and more about the sort of interpersonal relationships the survivors develop and the sort of psychological toll basically being the last humans on earth entails.
I wish I could comment, but I approached the show with no prior knowledge of the comic book. I’m enjoying the show immensely, but I don’t have that extra dimension to refer to and compare against.
Yeah, that’s how most of my friends are, so it’s hard to play the walking dead drinking game with them because usually within the first 5 minutes I’m all hopped up on 4loko brahhhhhhhhhh.
Walking Dead Drinking Game
1. Drink every time someone says “that wasn’t in the books”
(((((
2. Drink every time you hear “Keep watching Walking Dead for a chance to win a stagger-on role as a zombie”
3. Drink every time you feel like something racist is going to happen.
4. Drink every time someone makes this face
5. Drink every time you drink
6. Drink
Yeah, but if they had done a strictly comics plot adaptation, what would be the point of watching the show?
Did you want MORE racism, and even LESS character development??
I’m not saying that they should’ve had an exact retelling of the comics story, but I don’t know, there’s something that I enjoy about seeing the illustrated frames of a comic played out in live action.
What would you say is more racist in the comics? Aside from like, 80% of the people who aren’t rick grimes kinda looking the same.
Well, since the show IS about a zombie-demic, and OBVIOUSLY Dennis Quaid ruined all chances of curing it, I would like to develop some feelings for the characters, for when they all eventually are dead, cause, zombie-demic.
And also, we ALL know racism is bad, and that proper punishment of a racist is OBVS to chain them to a rooftop during a zombie-demic.
I guess I just like to enjoy a TV show, is all.
Spoiler alert: Love will prevail, always.
I’ve seen this mistaken credit a number of times now and want to clarify something— Robert Kirkman, or any of the writers of a particular episode, are the TELEPLAY WRITERS. They did not plot out the episode they wrote beat by beat.
Agreed, Kirkman’s episode was far less than stellar, and the vatos were unexpected to say the least, but this is Darabont’s gig, and didn’t even say he would write and rewrite and tweak scripts throughout the writing process? And I’m not saying this alleviate any blame from writers I like who worked on things like the Walking Dead comics, Dexter, The Shield, or anything else, but what I’m saying is every episode is a GROUP FAIL/SUCCESS by a TEAM of writers, and after the plotting gets done one guy bangs out the details.
*and didn’t THEY even say… (THEY meaning the articles about the show)
**And I’m not saying this TO alleviate any blame…
Actually, and I know, it’s shocking, may not know what I’m talking about here.
*I may not know
Goodnight everybody. Yeesh.
Mannnnnn, TV shows don’t need to have writers to be successful. This is just the first step in a series of much needed improvements.
Darabont went to the Saddam Hussein school of management.
“it was the best of times it was the BLURST OF TIMES!? YOU STUPID MONKEY!!!” -frank darabont
I’m really enjoying this thread. I stated my distaste for the show to my friends last week and was crucified for it. Sigh. Of course… everyone on the internwebs understands me.
I’m glad this show has more or less coincided with the It Gets Better campaign, cause, it looks like it COULD. But then again looks are very deceiving, and who even knows.
I’ll probably just keep watching it with my boyfriend and his best friend (who are also Monsters, YAY). If not just for the sake of laughs.