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On last night’s Fringe there was a vibrating metallic object (that’s what she said) and a machine that allowed you to read people’s thoughts, but most importantly there was a weird bald guy. Who is that weird bald guy? What’s his deal? I will tell you what his deal is. His deal is being the thing that finally pushes Fringe over the edge into full-on X-Files rip off. He’s 2008′s “Cigarette Smoking Man.” Which means he’s 2000 and Question Mark’s loose end. I promise you this, we will never learn who the bald guy is and we will never understand what’s the deal with him. Every time J.J. Abrams wants to add another wing to his indoor pool he comes up with some mystery that he knows he doesn’t even have to bother solving. This bald guy is going to keep eluding us for years or at least until next spring, depending on whether or not this show actually gets picked up for a second season.
But the question is, does the world need another Cigarette Smoking Man?
Maybe. Maybe the world needs that. But the thing about Cigarette Smoking Man that made him a compelling character was that he was a craggy old HUMAN BEING. I don’t know what the fuck this bald guy is. It’s problematic when the most interesting things about a character is his MAGICAL BINOCULARS FROM OUTERSPACE.
His sandwich that is TOO SPICY!
and his dream journal.
The other thing that made Cigarette Smoking Man a good character (although fuck you to whoever came up with the name because now I have to write it with a straight face and I am an adult) was his inscrutable allegiance. Sometimes he seemed to helping Mulder and Scully but sometimes he seemed to be HURTING them. I’m pretty sure the only allegiance Mr. Clean (I am nothing if not clever and original) has is to being super quirky and not making any sense. Then again, what can we expect? It’s hard to trust the emotional intelligence of a show that introduces soaring music when someone is awarded their Civilian Consultant to Department of Homeland Security Badge. “Oh my God, I never thought I would have my own Civilian Consultant to the Department of Homeland Security.” “Yeah, you did it, you’re a total hero.” What was that all about? Forget the bald man, that was the real mystery last night was what the hell was that all about?
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Wasn’t cigarette smoking man called cancer man at first and then they changed his name? Or is that an alternate universe?
I believe he was always Cigarette Smoking Man, but Mulder liked to call him Cancer Man as a cheeky nickname.
excellent use of THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.
this episode of Fringe was bizarre, what with its giant alien sex toys and all… i’m convinced that “THE OBSERVER” is an alien, for sure. he doesn’t age. he can read minds. he has no eyebrows. he writes in a weird language (so at least he’s a foreign alien). and he eats raw meat.
i was convinced in the beginning that he was doing all that weird stuff in the diner to set an alibi though…
this is the kind of show that’s not really awesome, but its just good enough for you to DVR it because you still want to kind of know what’s going to happen next.
Anybody else notice that dead people walk around like in LOST and that, in future episodes, the dead guy says some importance-laden comment about how dead people can walk around and make phone calls and stuff? Such a terrible, terrible show…but I have to watch it because I wanna know how Jack and Claire’s ‘s dad can walk around and deliver messages from Jacob, also dead. Damn their eyes.
Oh, I just figured it out–FRINGE is in the dimension in the apartment next to LOST’s island and that crazy old man and all his yelling is the whispering that Jack and his fellow castaways keep hearing. Mystery solved, you’re welcome.
One thing I really hope they address in future episodes is why the fuck would I care about Agent Smith? Because I really don’t. I didn’t care about Agent Smith when he was alive, I didn’t care about Agent Smith when he had skin-melting disease, I didn’t care about Agent Smith when he died, and I certainly don’t care about ghost Agent Smith and his ghost cellphone.
This is what we call the J.J. Abrams effect. He takes a show with real potential (except for fringe, fringe has no potential) and turns it into something terribly confusing, by answering questions with more questions. After the mess that was Cloverfield, I would expect that he would try to create a show that completes itself every episode. Unfortunately Fringe is not that show. I just hope he doesn’t do this with Star Trek.
Supporting evidence: He even managed to turn Felicity into a show about magic and time travel by the end. Felicity though!
I would expect that he would try to create a show that completes itself every episode. Unfortunately Fringe is not that show. I just hope he doesn’t do this with Star Trek.